Cancer men: Lots of female friends but no partners? Why?
I agree with attiro, and not to toot my horn, I am very attractive and most men would love to be with me, but I like the man she speaks of haven't found the right one, I thought I did, but alas, he was a mind trip. Can't stand that. Anyway, you can only push a cancer so far on the emotional realm and if for one minute we get the sense that you aren't right we leave. Many times previous lovers come back to us for a second opportunity and most the time we say no way.
So we can push Cancers in the emotional realm. So how do you move forward. Do you just support them, let them know your there and go with what they suggest and decide to share with us. Just get on with our lives, be there and show the Cancer that your there for them and let them decide on how much they want?
Thank you, cancercutie...
It's all really a matter of one's path and perspective...
I must share though that I just listened to a radio interview with the Cancer man that I spoke of in the earlier post. The phone lines were blowing up with women wanting to know if he was single (and available). He reluctantly stated that he had to learn through much spiritual growth to be okay with being single, is open to marriage (but is very busy, therefore selective about who he puts his energy into); but choses to wait for the ONE "special" lady that is his SOUL MATE...This person is extraordinary...
First let me say "hello" to you...
Secondly, my response to your post was not an attack on you... I guess that I am having a difficult time understanding what you are trying to convey and visa versa. That's okay, it happens. Especially on forums because you cannot hear the tone of a person's voice, read their body language or look them in the eyes...I do not know you, but I do respect your opinion.
Best of the best to the both of you!
Hello artirro, Yes I re-read your post yesterday, understood your words, and realized my mistake, but it was too late. couldn't unsend my reply, but I am still glad to have put out there that I am not "that type of girl", with my name and my philosiphies one could easily assume that.
Arisgirl, since you have shared your cancer's desires, I will tell you my cancer has the same fetish only he likes the other extreme (dominant), he is really quiet and shy so to find this other side is exotic, I am also the first person who he has told that to and after talking things out we actually explored it a little bit. (Interesting!)
He must really like and trust you to share that type of info. It takes a lot of trust on both ends, before anyone can feel comfortable being that vulnerable. are you two dating? Is that the only style of love making that he can appreciate? How do you feel about it? Is it something you have/ may consider?
I'm sure just being able to talk about it without being judge made him feel even closer to you.
I don't know how you feel about the b&d thing, this was my first time talking about it with any guy, I've always been curious, and am fairly open to trying new things.
Should your relationship progress to the point where you are interested in giving it a go, there is a game called bondage 101 I got it from good vibrations ( a women's intimate store in s.f.), but I've seen it on ebay for like 12.00 it is not hard core stuff, pretty easy, but it is up to the users how far to go.
We had sooooooooooooooo much fun, and kept things on a level we were both comfortable with, I had so much fun I recommend the game to all my friends , or anyone who wants to spice things up. and now to you. You and He will absoultely love it, and it's a fun easy way to explore this side of things IF you are interested.
Caution: It is scarry trying new things, and worring if you are being judged by your partner for liking it, so IF you do decide to go there with him, be sure to give him reassurance the next day that it does not change your veiw of him as a man outside of the bedroom.
1 more thing arisgirl this DOES explain why and how he could have many female friends and no partner. Only certain people can be trused with his secrets. Lucky you, he must have been feeling you out for some time, and decided you could be the one.
Hey Sexygem, firstly thank you so much for your words they mean so much to me and its great to know there is someone out there similar.
We have known one another four about 10 months, we are not dating, just friendly friends. Until just recently I never really knew about his fetishs. He knows I like him and we have gone through this cycle of him being around and interested and then hes gone for weeks or months. Anyway he has come round again in the last month or so. He has told me what he wants to be dressed in and what he wants done to him (b&d wise). At first I was a bit taken back but went along with it. I have thought about it lots and done lots of research and reading and found that it's actually quite normal. Also that is actually lots of fun for both partners. I have always had very dominant partners so I'm actually getting really excited about playing the dominant one for a change. I am totally open to his desires and would love to explore them with him. I'm just not really sure how to move forward with him on this though. I want to know more but I dont want to make him sit down and explain cause that might make him feel weird.
It explains the first time we were together, he wanted to use certain things (ie a hood) and wanted to play the submissive. At the time I didnt really get him and expected him to play the dominant and said 'lets not use the hood'. It turned him off and I took it the wrong way that he was not into me. Now I know that I was in the wrong and expected him to do something that he was not at all comfortable with.
It's nice that you saw the fact he shared these things with me as a way of saying hes interested in me. I have no real idea if he likes me however I think it would be a big deal for a guy to come out and share with a girl. Therefore I assume he has some interest in me at least on some level to share such personal info with me. I also feel like he has been testing me and feeling me out for a very long time. I just want to know how long it will take for him to decide. I think he is slowly trusting me but oh so slowly.
Thanks again x
As the dominant one you have the power to take charge any time, don't look to him to explain it is alll about you forcing, pushing, pulling prodding him to please you whate ever your desire, try getting the game it will explain it all, and is great fun and you both get a chance to play both parts, when he is the dominant he can "show" what he likes to have done. Hope this helps and doesn't scare off some of the other posters
I was at work could not respond fully. I'll see if I can make things easier for you.
Let him know you are intriged by the idea and interested in exploring that side of things yourself, and ask if he trust you enough to submit to your will. If he gives the go ahead, when you are ready and secure in the realationship, doing things like this have a tendencies to do things to us women and our emotions, so if you are looking to be in a commited relationship talk about your expectations that it will progress to that early on. and.....................
If you decide to go this rout, his desires fall become limited to the disire of being submissive. His will is unimportant, It is up to yYOU what he will wear, when he will put it on, when he will take it off, when/if the hood comes on or off, MAKE him cook, clean, kiss your feet, what ever. but DO NOT ask, command, talk to him as if he is a child who has misbehaved and must now face the consequences.
If you are overwhelmed with the idea of exerting that much control try the game on ebay, or you may be able to find it at a local sleaz shop, (bondage 101 the game).
You can take it other directions connect with your closet freak and be excited that you have a partener who is willing to do any and everything you want, and force him to do just that. Get into the role playing thing kidnapp, prisoner, iniappropriate boss who will fire his a** if he is uncooperateive, the possiblities are endless. Do not ask for further instruction, because not only can you not tell someone how to control you, but it lessens the power of the control.
Go to a sleazy shop, pick out somethings you want to do call and tell him whe you just came from and that "He'd better get his a** over and come see you in 30 minuteor less or you will be forced to administer harsh dicipline/punishment, then hang up on his face" when he arives have on a sexy black number and all of the things you ever wanted to try but have been to ladylike, shy, embarassed, or whatever to talk about, tell him what you want how you want it, when and where to do it, and mean bussiness.
That is just sooo interesting with the whole bondage thing. I am a cancer woman and I love that stuff as well!!! Well, depending on my mood, of course... I am very very sadistic... I guess the male alternative of the cancer is masochistic.. lol!!! But again, everyone is different. I do know that the male Arians I have been with can up with a lot of masochism on my part.
thanks for the validation...... I kind of felt bad for speaking on the taboo and chasing away all of the people who may have been able to give arisgirl a little more insight