What does it mean when a cancer man does this?

  • I’ve had a long friendship with a cancer man. I first met him a few years ago and it didn’t work out and I got over it as time passed since he lives in another state. I didn’t get to see him for a while until recently around holidays of last year he invited me to see him on base that is near me. Then he invited me down to his house about a month or 2 after just seeing each other. Recently he has become distant and I asked if I did anything to make him back away and he said he was going through things and how it wasn’t me and I didn’t want to push and ask so I let it be. I admitted my feelings to him face to face and a few days ago he called my friend cute which hurt me and I explained it to him and he turned it back on me and the conversation wasn’t even about how he hurt me by calling my friend cute anymore it was targeted at me. In that moment I saw he was manipulative and a narcissist because he never admitted that he was wrong for hurting my feelings and flipped the situation back to me. He said he cares about me but I don’t see the actions that matches his words. When we’re together he shows he cares but when we’re apart it’s very hard to differentiate if he is showing he cares or not. After our little discussion he is still keeping contact with me. When I pull away for my own good that’s when he replies fast and I don’t understand why. Every time I try to leave he tries to pull me back in and what is the reason behind that when he’s the one causing all the hurt at the end of the day?

  • @Gemini0602 said > 'He said he cares about me but I don’t see the actions that matches his words.' That is it exactly. This selfish guy is just stringing you along for his own purposes. He may even have another partner.

  • @TheCaptain I’m not 100% sure if he has someone new since he just got out of a very abusive relationship and he said “she ruined everything I’ve ever wanted in a relationship” and he also said he wanted to be alone and do his own things for now which is very understandable. Also when I admitted my feelings he said not to wait for him and I won’t because who knows when he will ever be ready for anything serious and I said that if someone better comes along I’m going to go for it like any other person would. He said how when I stated that it was a turn off and that it sounded like “cheating” which I didn’t understand where that came from since we were never together.. it almost contradicted what he stated by saying not to wait. He was somehow in a way hinting he wants me to wait I think at least that’s how I interpreted what his response was when I said if someone better comes along I’m going to go for it. I wonder why and what his reasoning for that is. It is all confusing and when I pull away that’s when he puts in effort and replies faster and he knows I kind of ignore him sometimes because I’m always on my phone, but it’s just me needing space I’m not really ignoring him. I just have to get over the feelings I have for him.

  • @Gemini0602 if a guy is really into you, he doesn't abandon you.

  • @TheCaptain that is true. I don’t want to lose him and he has come back before and if he does it once he’ll most likely do it again. I’m just confused with all the things he is doing. I’ve been researching about using signs and why he does the things he does but I’m not sure what to do and I’ve been giving him space and when I do that he comes back which is even more confusing