Cancer man and gemini woman

  • I am a gemini born 6/2 and he is a cancer born 6/27. I’ve known him for about 3 years and when I first met him he drove up to New York to see me (he is in NC because of the military). Things were going well for the weekend he came here and when he left it took a second for me to digest my feelings and I told him how I felt. I can’t remember how he acted when I told him he did say he didn’t feel the same way and it broke my heart but I ended up getting over it. He went on deployment so I didn’t see him for a year or so and the pandemic hit and before he got a girlfriend the end of 2020 he asked me to go visit him but I never did because I was interested in someone else. They broke up last year and that was when he reached out to me again and I went to go see him in November then he asked me to fly down to NC to see him this past January. Now that has happened the past few weeks he has been hot and cold and he told me he was going through things but he pushed me away in the long run. Now I feel like he is ignoring me and we were just fine 2 weeks ago and we talked and did some risky stuff and he told me he wished I did more when I was down there but my logic was that what if I made a move and nothing happened it would’ve been sealed but now thinking about it I should’ve but he never communicated it to me well he did a week before I went down there, but his actions were different when I was physically there. I’m not sure what to do if I should reach out and make the first move? I also admitted my feelings again for him and I’ve come to realize that the feelings for him I had when I first met him 3 years ago never went away it just disappeared from my view since I wasn’t able to see him for a very long time. He was very nice about it and told me he wasn’t in the mindset for anything serious. we FaceTimed so it was better for the both of us to see where we’re at. After that conversation we were okay and now I hear from him here are there I also asked him if he was ignoring me because I tend to over think and think that it is me that caused him to back away he replied and said it wasn’t me and that he was going through something. He pushed me away and now we barely talk. It just hurts to see how he could push me away that fast within a week I was gone. Don’t get me wrong we are still in contact with one another just not on the level it used to be. I need advice of what to do next and maybe how to get him to be open the way he used to be before this happened. I like him a lot I wouldn’t call it love yet and I want things to work out but if it doesn’t that’s fine but I would like him to feel comfortable to open up about anything as a friend and that I’ll always be there if he needs anything without being taken advantage of. I also heard the cancers are manipulative and that also doesn’t help with my situation because when I told him my feelings and he said he wasn’t ready and not to wait for him I replied with yeah I can’t wait like if something better comes along I’m going to go after it and his reply was that turned me off alittle because it sounded like it was cheated but also how because we were never anything and he has no feelings for anyone or anything because he needs to fix himself before he gets into anything. I talked to one of my girlfriends about it and they said it sounded like he wants you to wait for him but what does that mean? I also asked a hypothetical question of if he was ever ready would he give us a shot and he said he didn’t really wanna answer it because he doesn’t like giving false hope but he said maybe. I’m not sure what to interpret that as or not even interpret it. I just want him back and I’m not sure what to do. If there is any advice on what I can do to solve this or let it just play out? I know ignoring or not giving him the attention I used to may not work because in their minds it’s like I’m not interested anymore but I’m not sure. Maybe send him a text of hey how are you etc. i need advice!

  • @Gemini0602 this relationship’s search may ultimately be for personal values that the two of you can share. A love affair can start off well, but may quickly nose-dive when you fly off to your next adventure, leaving this man bored and unhappy. When you finally call, his reply will be full of guilt-inducing pain. Consolation, kissing and making up will work until the predictable cycle begins once again. The combination can work out well in the practical sphere, however, since your efficiency and his money sense are an effective combination. Building a domestic situation together, or seeking value in a religious or spiritual pursuit or success in a mutual career endeavor, can fulfill some of the relationship’s needs. But emotionally the relationship can be a disaster, and all these wonderful plans may grind to a halt as this man falls into a pit of despair and you stand by helplessly, nervous and acutely frustrated. Tensions will rise, arguments and resentments will fly, and painful breakdowns will result. It is not a good cycle to get locked into. This could never be a harmonious romance.