Leo female, gemini male...should I just get over it!?
I'm a leo and my ex is a gemini. We had been going out for nearly 4 years when the other day (27th Sept to be exact), he decided to call it off between us saying 'he needed space' and 'he had to figure out where his life was going and did want to drag me along with him'. I accepted this and the split was amicable even though we were both terribly upset, yet now I'm wondering whether to get in contact with him?
It's been 3 weeks with no contact apart from one text from him when he heard I was taken into hospital saying he hoped I was okay, and really, I'm dying to know how h's doing/feeling/how his new job is going etc. We weren't only lovers but we were best friends and I feel like I'm losing him completely and it kills me.
Any geminis out there that can give me some advice? Should I just leave it and maybe he'll get in contact with me? Or should I make the first move? Would you be irritated if your ex got in contact to see how you were? I don't know what to do!
I still love him obviously and I've been putting on a brave front to everyone, acting like I'm okay...and mostly I am, but really...it can't be good that I check HIS horoscope as well as mine everyday to try and get some perspective on how he MIGHT BE FEELING. I don't know if by contacting him, I'll be setting myslf up for rejection all over again or whther this could be a good thing. What do you think?
It's importnt to say that he's split with me before. We were going out for about a year and a half and he decided to call it off then 'saying his head was messed up'...then 4 months later after a lot of toing and froing and when I started to move on, he came back and said that he wanted me back. Now two and half years later, I'm in the same situation again! Even though I'm coping with it alot better this time....HELP!!
I'm responding, not because I have an answer for you, but because your post could have been written by me. Same scenario exactly, except I'm at that year and a half mark when he left the first time & is now wanting to get back together. He has no explanation whatsoever for the split, except to say that he "doesn't know who that person was," and knows he made a colossal mistake. My family & friends are very upset with me for opening myself back up to him.
I have analyzed it ad nauseum & have not come up with any definitive "aha" explanation.
So I suggested counseling. We have gone for one session, during which I was able to open up, and he was not. I was very bothered by this, and he didn't see how out of balance it was. So I suggested that he have a solo session, hoping that the therapist can pry him open.
I'm beginning to wonder if our approaches to emotional attachment are so diametrically opposed, that I'll always be waiting for the next time he leaves. Trust and loyalty are so important to me; doubt and fear would be a killer.
I found that after the first time we split, even though I knew he loved me and I loved him, it was almost as if I didn't trust him to not break my heart again...and it turn out I was right not to. It became an issue in our relationship to be honest. I became insecure that he'd leave and he would reassure me that he wasn't going anywhere and I started to seek more and more affection from him to reassure myself and the more he felt he had to reassure me, he started to feel trapped. It was a vicious cycle. I know geminians aswell - even though they can convince you that you're the love of their life and would never leave you, and FULLY believe that to be true themselves, their fickle nature tends to change them and a few months down the line they don't feel the same. It's not like they actively set out to hurt you, its just that they swing between these two 'personalities' and unfortunately for us leos, we've been caught up in it all.
Being a loyal as we are, it's hard for us to move on...hence my problem. It's just a matter of weighing up how much this person actually means to you and the amount of cr*p you're willing to put yourself through to keep them...typing this has actually made me realise a whole lot. I thought I was going to marry this guy, settle down and have kids...he told me he wanted that too. But I don't know...maybe they just aren't the 'settling down' types.
If there are any geminians out there that want to quash this claim then I would be very interested to know your views! lol
Stay strong wiz1
Male Gemini here. From what I've read on these forums in my short time here, I'm starting to believe that I'm an anomoly. I met a Virgo lady 2 years ago, she's a single mom with a beautiful daughter. We struck up an instant friendship, so fast in fact that I kept thinking I knew her and her daughter from somewhere. A year into the friendship she pulls away from me and goes from talking to me everyday at work to somedays not even saying hi. I let it go on for a few months and confront her on it, she says she's just stressed out and she "loves me." I spent the next 6 months trying to get her to talk to me more often, like she used to. This was too much for her partner apparently because she got jealous and started thinking that I was stealing her girlfriend. I went 3 weeks waiting for a call that finally came the other day. She said she's not giving up on me and wants to go to a haunted house this weekend. The moral of the story from this gemini's view is this... When I love someone it's forever. No matter what ever happens I will never quit trying to be this girl's best friend. As a side note, yes I am completely and hopelessly in love with this girl. But she swore off guys before I met her due to being treated very badly by every guy she ever knew. I can't see how any guy could hurt this girl and her kid, I'll never understand that. But I love her so much I will settle for just hearing her voice once a month. So leogrrl I hope that gives you some insight into a gemini's thought processes. If he really loves you he's waiting for your call. Unless you've done or said something to make him think you don't care, in that case he probably thinks he's giving you your space. That's how I am, if you make me think you don't want me around I'll disappear. If you show me you do care you'll never get rid of me.
I am another leo girl that has the "typical" gemini relationships. I was in two 4 year committed relationships. Both broke my heart. They were very fickle & in the end I realized the person that I cared about didn't exist. After the recent end to the 2nd relationship, I ran into Gemini numero uno. Nothing has changed with him and I can look back knowing that I did the right thing by walking away. I am currently still having to deal with Gemini numero dos due to tying up our past 4 years of life together. Now, when I am around him, he acts like he has a chip on his shoulder to me. I never have done anything to hurt him but he acts like he hates me. I still am not sure what that is about or why he would constantly try to pick a fight with me.... Any suggestions?