Cancer Males?? Are they really that emotional and sensitive?
yes you do have to know the person as an individual.cuz just when you think you know anyone so well they do something that you thought they would never do or say.
Ariespc, it really is your life so it's you decision. I did say that even if I don't get along with water signs doesn't mean they are not good for others. I have a water sign rising too, you can tell from my name leo is my sun and scorp is my rising. I am just replying to you because you mentioned you swore off Cancers and now you are wondering.
I can't say there has never been a steamy relationship between me and water signs. of course there are LOL with my Scorpion rising how can I avoid that? It's not much of a steam though, pretty much over before it got too steamy.
because what determines a long lasting relationship is not the good times. it's how we handle the bad times, and apparently none of us (the man and I) did very well with those. I could partly blamed myself for not spending too much time trying to work it out. I just left and looked for another. I didn't go asking for advice, because I never let confusion over relationship took over my life and what is important for me. My objectives were always clear, I don't like drama therefore emotional people, mostly water signs I found. are not a good choice for me so friends is fine but romantic is a big no no. I have always fallen for Capricorns anyway, and never regrets it. There are people bashing Caps too and I didn't get upset or anything, since they are ambitious and could be unforgiving which can break many hearts, and yet I find it sexy. Why would I go for sentimental and emotional people, if I can go for a go getter ambitious man that suit me well ?
My happiness doesn't rely on what a man can shower me. I love my self, so much that if a man can't shower me, well I will shower my self. I'm very fortunate that I found someone just like that and been married for almost 9 yrs. if I don't find him, I will keep looking and have a good time because I can't live a life without fun, it's impossible. I have had my bad times, like everyone else. Only I learned from them and that's how I get to where I am now. A blissful marriage showing no sign of ending.
Astrology wise, I shouldn't be compatible with a Cap either. but I never swore off Capricorns, since even if not all relationships with them ended well, they never leave a scar in my heart and mind. therefore I kept going for Caps, well until I married one of course. Anyway it's your life, your decision. I'm just trying to be honest. if I don't have good experience with water sign, then I say it as it is. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. plus I never said they won't be good for others just because they are not good for me. so good luck.
It's fascinating all this on Cancer men. I was born March 23rd also. I'm sure there are some great cancers out there but I tend to give them a very very wide berth. Women too.My ex mother in law (daughters grandmother)is also a cancer. Runs very hot and cold moody snaps etc. I've never known what to expect from her either. I don't like the guilt I'm left w/. But she's good to my daughter. But I have a scorpio rising and cancer moon so who am I to talk.
My last relationship( for lack of a better word) was w/ a cancer guy,he was the final culmination of a bad relationship history. That was about 15 years ago and I've not had a relationship since beyond friendships. When I say history I mean relationships that just didn't work for many reasons but as I get older and do more self analysis I can safely say pre cancer guy a lot of it was my impatience. My ex husband is/was a scorpio ugh manipulative, dishonest and secretive passive aggressive but that only lasted a couple years after my daughter was born. One child is enuff I felt like I had 2.
But the cancer was a whopping finale for me. Younger but very intelligent very handsome and creative highly entertaining. I fell really hard for this guy opened up my heart and soul. I had no control over how I felt, it was intense. I tried to be patient understanding w/ the moods and hot and cold etc. He had some serious psych stuff going on and I tried to create a safe place for his troubled soul and just love him whole heartedly. But out of the blue he stopped calling or showing up. I honored his need for space and just went on w/ my life and trusted he was doing what he needed to be doing. My gut started telling me he'd disconnected and I started to worry but not until I ran into a mutual friend did I hear about his "new" girlfriend and how happy and in love he was. I just stood there w/ my mouth gaping open and this mutual friend realized I'd been left in the dark. He didn't know we had been intimate.I was soooooo hurt. I didn't handle it well. I called the cancer guy and reamed him a new one for not being up front w/ me. Hindsight being 20/20 I can see how he can justify his lack of communication. He never said we were a couple or that he loved me. I was just following my own heart and staying open for him"when he chose to show up." He knew how deeply I felt but made no commitment to me. I knew I was taking a risk w/ my heart, or leap of faith but naievly I chose to trust my heart was safe or I was strong enuff to handle what the universe dished out. But in truth it never was a "relationship", we had some great times, I was in love and it looked like it "would" be grand but he ended it before it could blossom. It was just a matter of a few months. I was devastated I'm embarrassed to say how much. I have forgiven him altho the few times I have crossed paths w/ him I've bolted. The positive thing is I've learned there are many other ways to experience love and to appreciate that not all beings need to be in relationship. I embrace my aloneness now and am a bit of a hermit but I have found an independence I have aspired to. In a strange sorta way he helped me. . My heart was closed for a while I was hurt and angry. Years of therapy to understand how I could learn to love myself more and not give my power away so easily. The times I have felt that intense magnetism to some one instead of allowing it to take control I turn and run. I am drawn to troubled wounded souls and I need to be cautious I only have so much energy. I do remember how wholeheartedly I loved and I try to extend that out w/o attaching to anyone in particular.
When my heart was broken open it hurt tremendously for a while but I started giving my love on a heart level to the universe giving to all beings.
Being love is just as rewarding as being in love. The tradeoff is there are no strong arms when I falter and feel vulnerable. But I've learned I can have fortitude even in my weakest moments. I've included him in my loving kindness meditations w/ all my other difficult relations and that has brought me peace.
The freedom I have now makes my relationship past so worth it.
Cancers are so moody and unpredictable, woman too, proceed w/ caution.
Thanks for listening I haven't spoken about this for years.
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Well everyone, am a scorpio in too many houses to mention, and just married a cancer male after 4 years seeing each other, so here's my take. . .
Yes, they wear their heart on their sleeve, are moody and can withdraw for days. BUT - they are fiercely loyal and dedicated to a relationship too. my cancer male is highly intelligent, handsome as hell, and has no commitment issues at all. maybe the fact that we've both had long term relationships before makes a difference, or that we are older (50's) and know what we want - I don't know. But he's been fabulous. Not afraid of talking things out, and holds no grudges. We get mad, spout off steam and get over it. The fact that we both use humor to get us thru tough times is a godsend too. Our relationship has been tested to the max (ER visits, problems with ex's, house fires, etc.), and we just got closer thru it all. I like the loyalty and the the fact that we are both willing to work at the relationship. Of course, I could do without the stubbornness. But he is also compassionate and strong. We are both RN's and work in a psych setting, so I've seen both sides. And he doesn't seem to mind my intensity.
All that said, I think you have to use this astro stuff as a guideline, not a hard and fast rule. If you have the same basic ethics and moral principles, it can work. It all boils down to what's really important to you both. For us it's family and keeping each other happy and on an even keel. It aint easy, but it is ultimately SO worth it. Don't dismiss anyone out of hand because of their sign, just know what your dealing with and TALK about it. My Cancer male is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Ariespiscescusp...i would very much be cautious about any man (no matter what the sign) that after a few weeks is so anxious to speed things along. Especially if you are feeling somewhat threatened by that intimate invasion chuckles. I know I would raise an eyebrow to talk of moving after only three weeks. Wait until after your first fight and see how it goes That is always telling
As far as Cancers...indeed they are sensitive. I have never dated one in my life until now. Here are my observations. Mine was observant and cautious and guarded at first. The tough shell...hard to break through. Very much the hot and cold you speak of. It drove me insane! But in time with good talks and being open about life and having some adventures and road trips, that shell dissolved to expose a very sensitive man indeed. I am shocked sometimes at how wonderful that can be to see a man not be afraid to be so happy they have tears running down their faces.
I would not call him possessive in any way compared to say, leos, and he loves the simple things in life. Snuggling on couches, holding hands, just being together. He is not high maintenance and very focused on comfort and having a good time.
I can really see the up and down/hot and cold side of which you speak though. But I have seen that with many men LOL. I think in the case of cancers...when they are doing that, they are questioning even their own motivations in the relationship and thus their tendency to hide back into their shells and need space. Women have to learn to give them that space and take that space for themselves too. I myself need space.
However, Taurus and Cancers work very well together I know. I could see how a Cancer would drive the typical Aries crazy. My best friend in college...she was an Aries. We were greatest of friends and rarely ever fought but I have never even encountered an Aries man!!
As far as having a "I won't date a...." I can say that I would not date a Leo again mainly becuase a Taurus and Leo man are like two 5 year olds when we fight...both wanting our own way and butting heads and never finding common ground. I have lived that and honestly every Leo I know is the same. NOt in a bad way at ALL, just that as partners they are better off friends and not lovers imho!
Best of luck to you...just be true to yourself and your needs first and foremost. That is not selfish to determine at this point. If its not what you want, respect your needs, and do what is best. But Cancers are sensitive and loving and sweet and very affectionate. Mine is the opposite of selfish...so it does exist.
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When the rubber meets the road - much of "compatibility" is based on:
Who the heck you are?
What unconscious life (myth)s (scripts) are you currently living out?
How hard are you to get along with?
What sort of life/and or soul lessons are you on the planet to learn?
What is it that you need in your life that's causing you to repeatedly unconsciously draw in and attract certain types of people?
All of the above adds up to who YOU are as an individual and not the other "Magical" person...
The paradox of relationship will always be that rather than solve our problems it brings us new problems, new complexities. But we also grow immensely from these problems… these complexities. In short… the greatest gift of relationship proves to be that as the result of encountering each other we are obliged to grow much larger than we had planned.”
Committed relationships are, in part, for the purpose of bumping of heads, and for the building of “consciousness” and "soul"... Not too romantic, eh? Well… not always…
romantic love and attraction will always remain a gamble, an emotional risk, and a leap of faith that we must choose to take (or not) when entrusting our heart to another person.
After all... that's part of the joy, part of the torture, and part of the experience of the "thing called love."
You are one of the few born on the 3/23 besides myself and my twin I've talked to. But I am not a poor thing altho when it happened I was a wreck. It was a lesson I needed and I try to see it as him being my teacher. It was a lesson I needed.
Best of luck you have some great support here.
Well said Gemini Twin 52. Rising Leo here. Completely agree. i can't say that the sign "traits" will definately determine the relationship strength--as said by others in this discussion. It should go like this: as others have also stated; It takes two--and if two people care about each other, they will work it out through discussion , compromise, and love I hope ! I also believe in destiny a little bit too. If you are supposed to be together --you will be together!! Doesn't that sound wonderful--but I believe that!!
It sound so beautiful rising leo and I believe it too, isn't that crazy? Yes? this is wonderful, and a reason to smile
Precisely risingleo...Those who refuse to grow, get swallowed up by life!
To Scorpioalltheway...great advice regarding values and importance of relationships, irregardless of sun sign this is so true. Congrats w/your Cancer. I have one (we are both in our 40's - I'm 5 years older), that's been making contact and putting "feelers" (tests lol) to me and because I'm taking a break from relationships, (almost a year) it's refreshing. We spent 4 hours one evening talking at a gathering, and then last month a 5 hour phone conversation, then a 3 week break and he popped in a few days ago via text messaging (<-- which I find so impersonal) for a couple of hours which amounted to flirting. At the gathering I gave him a glimpse of my values, what I want as well as the fact that I refuse to settle any more. However the 5 hour phone conversation was detailed even more about what is important to us. LOL...poor guy, needed a 3 week break after that conversation, and I sense not because our beliefs differ, but quite the opposite. The text messaging I feel was a confirmation of what I told
him where I'm coming from during the 5 hour phone conversation.
I've been reading the comments and different topics here on Cancer males. I truly believe that if you don't have an "inner" instinctual understanding of these characters, you get topics I've read where some are panicking, some are throwing the towel in, some are just so darn frustrated! This is the Cancer male's way (I believe) of sorting through who is in for the long haul. If you have no patience, you will have a lesser chance. The key, is to just go on doing what you are doing keep your mind preoccupied, and when he magically "reappears"...take it with a grain of salt. When these guys DO decide they want you, the questions/frustrations/disappearing will stop. They will get serious, and they will leave no doubt in your mind, as long as you continue to reassure them you want him...every day. They can FEEL the truth of that no matter how convincingly it comes from your lips that you do want him. Don't underestimate these guys, (or any water sign for that matter), because their senses, are usually spot on. In the mean time please know, as a water sign myself (triple), I'm in the same boat as some of you, and perhaps it's my senses, but I know this guy is THE ONE. He may know that too, but in the meantime, I'm following his lead, and not pushing it at all. I'm rather enjoying the ride (wagon ride...lol) Will update as we go, hopefully this forum will be here in another year or two...
Phree, thanks for opening up and sharing. I can tell that you've develpoed into a deep, caring Being.
I'm learning to give more than I take, being selfish for most of my life. You are inspriring me to start practicing again, even without a sitting cushion, lol. Am reading "The Power of Now", by Eckart Tolle and learning SO much! May you be blessed:)
Hey Everyone! I am mostly drawn to water signs and do not get on with Aquarians. Please, can someone please explain, perhaps? This is purely out of interest and probably has nothing to do with the topic. (Although, I don't think that we should label cancer men. Even though they share the same foundation - it is the issues in life and the way they handle situations (as with every other person) that scalps them.) I believe a hundred percent in give - and - take.
Yes an empty well, never refreshed anyone. Don't give until it hurts, or you have nothing left. It is ok to ask that you have a mutualy considrate relationship. quixotic, it often makes me nervous when you talk about your cancer, there is more then one type of abuse, be sure that you love yourself, and look out for your needs too, there are two people in this relationship. How would he even know when you need him to pitch in if he thinks you are happy just doing things his way?
just be honest. we hate liars. tell him directly n he will accept it
Thanks for your concern sexygem. He is very traditonal and he helps me often. Don't worry , I do stand up to him. I will work on getting more of my needs met. I too, can be inconsiderate and very self centered.
I can be just as abusive when provoked. He cried last night about the way that we hurt each other. What will it take for us to transform into compassionate partners/lifemates? I really do need to change think that our relationship can be the catalyst.
I once wrote a poem entitled "Oassis" about what you mentioned in the dry well. I think that I am a well/fountain that never dries up. The source replenishes itself the more that I give. I can also replenish the source. The Source is abundant as well and replenishes me.
I'm learning spanish. I wish that I could emulate the beautiful warmness of my Latino culture evident in some expressions; maybe it's the influence of their spirituality. Anyway, it's in my blood:)
!que te vaya bien! (I wish you well!)
From personal experience, I would say, yes, yes they are. Those who don't appear emotional or sensitive are just hiding under their crab shell. I dated a cancer once and he appeared very logic-driven, and was very sarcastic and a bit of a jerk, but it was all just to protect his own vulnerability.
One of my cancer friend's entire movie collection solely consists of kids' movies and classic "chick flick" titles such as "The Notebook". He's a straight 20 yr old guy.
Pfree, you made me cry.
I am so sorry you went through that. self-love is necessary, but there is nothing so wonderful as being held by someone, I hope you find that again, only this time true and pure love from a pure soul.