How to love oneself



  • I have always been told that in order to be happy, you have to love yourself. I think I love myself, I mean I know that there are some things that I would like to change, like for instance I am someone who is afraid of making big decisions. I always find myself asking someone for advice. There of course is more things that I do that I don't like, but how do you love yourself?



  • Hi singlelaidee,

    For me, I think it starts with doing things for yourself. Think of the things that we do for others - our loved ones and friends, to show them how much we love and care for them. How about you start putting yourself first and do things for YOU. You could start off with a bit of self pampering, think about the things that you like. It could be as simple as pampering yourself with a lovely bubblebath to soak in, with scented candles and relaxing music. Maybe you could treat yourself to a massage or facial. How about treating yourself to a lovely meal and a good movie (even if only something you have taken the trouble to cook for yourself at home and a rented dvd). is there a book you would like to read? Give yourself some time out to relax and read. There are many ways. But learning to think about yourself and what YOU like and what YOU want is a very good start.

    If you google 'positive affirmations', you will find some great sites with many affirmations. Standing in front of the mirror, smiling at yourself and speaking positive affirmations to yourself reminds us to be kind and think positively of ourselves. Just remember YOU are just as important and deserving of good things as anyone else. Have faith in yourself, accept yourself for the wonderful human being that you are. Maybe sit down and list your positive attributes and remind yourself of all the good things about yourself, we often waste too much energy on putting ourselves down and focusing on our perceived negative aspects.

    Lastly, don't be afraid to make any decisions, just trust yourself and go with your gut instinct, your intuition will always guide you along the right path.

    Many blessings to you 🙂



  • the main purpose of loving yourself is to recognize your weakness and strength. it is not meant to make you indulge in it and feel superior or treat anyone else as inferior. if you love someone, do you accept this person's weakness and forgive them? do you also nurture this person's talents and improve his strong points? do exactly that to yourself, and you already love yourself.

    because many of us were raised in this belief that loving yourself is the same thing as selfish and that it is not healthy or helpful to the society. so a lot of us have forgotten this and end up being victimized by those who are selfish.

    do not mistake selfish people as loving themselves, because if they love themselves, they will not feel the need to manipulate others for their own advantage. why? because they have all they need within themselves. they do not need to manipulate others and take other people's power because they have the power within themselves.

    the very concept of loving yourself is balance. this is the same concept the universe is all about. what comes around goes around, do unto others what you want others to do to you etc. without balance, nothing can move well let alone advance. it may move but it will crumble halfway. with balance, even the most unlikely structure will stand the test of time.

    look in the mirror and admit what you see, good and bad. look back to your past and admit what you have done wrong and right. go back to the earliest pages in your diary and read it up to the most recent. recognize how much you have changed, some for good, some need improvement. make amends where necessary, to other people and to yourself. to forgive others you have to be able to forgive yourself. same thing with love. if you love yourself, you will not let others take advantage of you and yet you know that you are strong enough to help those who genuinely need help.



  • I think that it is a very good question, it shows that you are very intelligent.

    Love is in fact something that comes from God. It does not come from the mind or body or even from our feelings. It comes from God. So in order to love ourselves, we need to receive it from God. If we dont love ourselves, that does not mean that God does not love us. No. It means that we have not received it because we have not opened ourselves up for it.

    What prevents us from letting in the love from God? It is our focus. Our focus on what comes from our mind is preventing us from letting in the love that God has for us.

    Since the love from God is above our thinking. It is impossible for our mind to understand the love that God has for us. So we need to surrender our everything to God, so that our inner feeling is the right one.



  • Hello TheHangedWomen, I agree with the intelligent,s of that question., and I want to tell you that your answer is so beautiful and true . What I really liked was the simplicity of your description of how God works. We as humans often complicate things and make our lives more difficult than need be, we need reminders such as your post has given to us all. ......... ty Leonida



  • I agree with Leonida that we can complicate life sometimes, making it more difficult than need be. I like thehangedwomen's conversation because it brings positivity and hope that we can follow our hearts in light of goodness...



  • This is very different to everyone. What serves you may not serve another. What is fulfilling to you? What do you do to self nurture? For some folks it's the path walked by many and others they find it solo. The ways that I would love myself are very different from the main group being a more private person who needs quiet. Lots of people need the external stuff. My suggestion would be to look at what comes up in your alone time. Is there something that needs healing? You may find you enjoy your own company tremendously and ways to experience love, self love, Spirit, and ways you can be loving. Great question.



  • Pfree: Yes. Alone time. Yes. I myself have found it healing to be alone. I dont go to church since I feel there is too much focus on that we must all be the same. I love alone-time more than most things in this life, because then I can do excactly what you described. And yes, we are individuals, so we should not copy each other. In fact, the truth is that when we are ourselves, then we in fact are serving the healing source the most. We must be who we are. But what if we dont know who we are? Then do what you described. Alone-time is wonderful. The quietness, the peace....is working itself inside of me from the outside and from the inside. It surrounds me and penetrates my inner feeling and gives me peace. Away from the activitiy from the mind and the desires. To even let go of the will in order to receive the will. From peace one understand and let go of all the things that one might want. And just enjoy that inner peace without wanting anything else. It awakens the soul and makes one in order to love oneself and the world in the right way. But it has taken many years for me to achieve this amount of peace. For others it might take days, but for me it took years.



  • That Was Beautiful Leoscorpion. I Agree with You 100%. By The Way Will You Marry Me?....LOL



  • Yes again leoscorpion nailed it. Loving yourself means accepting your faults or weaknesses and deciding to love yourself anyways. There are somethings you can change and some you can not. You are who you are. You must accept those things about yourself that you dont like. You will always be growing as a person. Would you stop loving your child for not being able to tie their shoes at age 3? Maybe they will learn to tie them at age 4. Do you see what Im saying. Be patient with yourself as if you were that child. You will learn to make decisions if you choose to grow in that area. If you feel that you can not do that, then accept it and love yourself anyways because I bet you can make a list of about 10 things that are great about you. Find them and have fun while doing that. I know when I have the hardest time is when I forget to laugh at myself and my own shortcomings. Incorporate a sense of humor about yourself and that makes it easier. When I take myself to seriously I start disapproving of myself and getting depressed, no fun.


Log in to reply