Hello, I am new. I am 25, Sun in Scorp Moon in Aquarius and Rising Sun is in Capricorn. I have been with my Aries man for 9 years. I love him deeply but mentally and emotionally it seems as if there is nothing there. Even our bedroom life has lost it sparks. I have never been unfaithful but I sure do think about it. I feel horrible about thinking about being in another man's bed or another man in my mind and heart. We have two children (babies) together. Why can I not just be happy with what we have? Why do I feel like there should be more? I feel like I am maturing and starting to understand what I want and who I am but I want my children to have a home where mommy and daddy are together. Is this just a phase? or is this an epiphany? Why can't I just be normal?
there is nothing abnormal with that. every one goes through this phase. every one has fantasies. there is no single living being that never makes mistakes. what matters is what you do after you make mistakes, are you going to do it again or are you going to learn from it and be a better person.
have you tried talking about it with him? I'm not saying talk about you and other men, but about how you feel. there is nothing wrong with wanting more, sometimes it's not more, just variety. your life might have been stagnant for some time, try induce some creativity into it. go out together to places you've never been or never been for a long time. make love somewhere else, not where you used to and try different moves.
having children can cause stress. not because they are not fun, they just sometimes remind you of parenting responsibility and make you feel old and caged until they move out of the house. I don't know what or who you want, but whatever it is, make sure that it is not based on lust, because lust doesn't last unless of course you are lusting your husband other than that I will have to ask you to take your time and weight your options carefully.
Thank you for your response leoscorpion! I Your reply means alot to me. It's funny that I read this now after the feelings that I had today. I felt change today for the good. Change that will let me stop lusting and start living. I have spoken with J in the recent past about our sex life and how I feel emotionally. I know he cares and he wants it to work too. It's just hard being a scorp with an aries. He drives me NUTZ, lol! I just want him to think, use emotions and want me sometimes! I will hang on and see where our path leads. Thanks again!
may the universe sends you abundance
I am a double Scorpio, married to an Aries, for 38 yrs. The last 17 devoid of sex. Everytime I considered separation something would happen to me so it left me unable to be independant. The last time I actually died in my sleep and he was the one who saved me. I had to give up and except that I must live without sex. If your Aries partner choses to be mentally cruel now at anytime, then think of me and leave as soon as you can.
Try a 6 tailed Scorpion. Yes self management has been my life's work. 6 planets of 12 were in Scorpio on my natal chart. I have not looked at it in some time with all the energy shifts and Saturn in a house that has proven tumultuous to relationships for the past 2 years...
The one that creates a divine spark is a Pisces male that is so opposite from a Scorpio nature it's insane. If I did not know he was my opposite half of Ying/Yang, even our numerology numbers are identical, a long long list of why it's absolutely right and a long list of "I'm not sure if I can get along with this male" list.
I'm still not sure.. I can do it. Definitely a personal growth endeavor that I am not sure will ever wire right.
Thank you Catzwoman, there have been many times in our relationships where I have tried to leave and it's always something holding me back never really physical besides his hands but thankgod that has come to an end. I also think this happens in many relationships not just scorpioaries. For me it feels like I am stuck on a ferris wheel and every 2 years I go through the same cycle. The top where I can see far and clear and then to the bottom again where I wait. For now I will make the best of what we have and hope for the best. I am sorry to here of your misfortune and I hope that things will turn around for you! You deserve to be happy! Thank again for your advice, I will be sure to remember you.
Fier, I have yet to have J's natal chart and numerology report done. I have had mine and I purchased them through tarot.com. My new interest is putting somewhat of a dent in my wallet. Do you know of any sites that do free accurate charts? I highly doubt it but it doesn't hurt to ask.
This morning I had 5 hens at my door. I have lived in this house for a year and never before have seen them. They came right up to the garage door and then the front door and then lingered under my bedroom window. It was the weirdest thing. Don't know why but I felt I should put this up here. Maybe it means something or maybe i'm just looking for some meaning!?!
Please take what I am about to tell you very seriously. I am 49 years old and am on my third marriage. The first marriage ended much for the same reasons you are experiencing now. I was getting absolutely no love or affection, and we disagreed on most of life's issues. I had one child with this man and after 6 years of complete and utter frustration I left.
My next marriage was to the man of my dreams. Unfortunately, my dreams were not his and after 3 short years he found another woman more suited to him and left me and my son.
My third marriage has been nothing but complete cosmic happiness. We have definitely had our share of problems and to be honest I really don't get much affection from this man at all. But, I am older now and a understand that is not a reason to divorce. He forgets to tell me I look nice, loves me and is just content with our marriage. It upset me for a few months until I finally sat down and spoke with hime about it. We both agreed that we are in this marriage for the long haul and that something as trivial as s** would not interfere with our friendship and love for eachother. It is true our marriage has had its ups and downs. That's just life, we have to learn to roll with the punches and always remember, WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN HAPPINESS. I am currently writing my first novel, and guess what, I have discovered I am a talented writer. I mostly put my energies there and it is very satisfying.
Now, you have children and that is what your life is about now, we raised 4. They are all out and on their own now. I can tell you that when we were in the middle of raising them, s** was completely out of the marriage. Time alone together was non-existent. Listen marriage truly is for better or worse, richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health. You are hitting a rough patch right now, and beleive me it won't be the last time. You need to learn to roll with the punches. Your children are relying on you and your husband to make good decisions on there behalf and splitting up is NEVER good for the children.
In my mind the only reason for divorce is, #1---Adultry, #2---Addiction, #3---Abuse (of any kind). You stated that this man has only been on the edge of touching you with his hands. When you sit down and have a discussion with him, you must tell him that behavior is grounds for immediate divorce and that he better never bully you or your children or you and your children will be gone in a flash. I really believe this and so should you. There is only one thing worse than divorce for your children and that is abuse that they are witness to. Our actions are examples we set for our children on how they should conduct themselves in thier own lives.
Finally, marriage is all about sticking it out to the end, you are suppose to raise your children together as a family. When they are grown and gone it will be your time again, and believe me it's a blast, with all of our kids grown and gone my husband and I have re-discovered our love and passion for each other. Marriage is about waking up side by side for 35 years and one morning you wake up and roll over and realize wow, we did it, we made it, and now we have our children, grandchildren and each other to value every day of your lives.
I hope this helps...
I am a Virgo w Virgo rising.
I am horrifically in lust witha Scorpio.
I understand his need to know I will physically be there for him for ***
I was initially turned off by all this focus on ***.
He needs affection, love anyway, so do I .
I lived sexless for 8 years. It was very dysfunctional. Sex is very healthy and we should seek it safely. We are all different creatures of a sexual nature.
i do not agree to accept no ***. I see it alot w people who have children. That was a choice.
I say they come first, however then be honest with Aries that you need this period, it is out there no lies then go if he does not respond. Look for a person who is compatible to your sexual nature who likes kids.
Not easy I know.
This is your joy we are talking about and I want happy people in this world around me.
I really do it is contagious.
One life, *** is one choice that is free no one tells you who you have to be with, like a job or a neighbor, this one is your choice completely make it the best choice for your needs.
Have *** and be safe do not rule out this very important part of your health. i say no way,been there, go after your desires or you will never know, you may even find it was not worth it, butt he burning wonder will be satisfied or you may realize you have deprived your self and you are maturing and setting limits. I will have regular healthy *** it is good for me.
Like touch we die w/o it. I do not believe in this no sex and we have grand kds now our life is full , bullion. You are a creature who is in need or you would not make this imporant first step.
Reaching out and asking around.
Stay Healthy, Lots of touch is so good for the body, and soul, sex is the frosting and it is necessary , sometimes great , sometimes not so great but better there then a dry cake every time.
To MyViewPoint: Thank you for the reply. I think it's time to add additonal information. We are not married. I have been with him since I was 16. We drank and hung out with the wrong crowd for a while but got over it. Young and dumb I became pregnant with our first daughter who will be 3 in February a true Aquarius. I left because of the physical abuse and alcohol abuse. He promised to change EVERY day for 3 months and I believed him. He went for counseling and meetings. Things were better. I wanted my daughter to have a sibling, I wanted her also wanted her in some selfish way but things were looking good. My 2nd daughter will be one on 10/29 2 days prior to my birthday. Another scorpio (oh geez) that will be a whole new discussion! There has been one incident in the past 2 years that he again put his hands on me. He was intoxicated. I left with the kids and again I'm such a sap came back I knew it would change and it has. He is good with the kids although I wish he would pay them more attention. I know he loves me in some way but he is very selfish. My kids are my number one priority now. I know I have made some bad decisions in the past but I look forward to making the right ones for my children. I think the near future looks good but Im not sure about the far away. My kids are happy and I feel that they can not tell yet that I am not truly happy in my relationship with him. I put forward effort into our relationsip on a daily basis but receive a almost nothing back. I am generally a happy go lucky person I am usually referred to as sunshine. Who knew sunshine could have so much darkness in her life!
Valentinaspin, I really appreciate your reply. I LOVE sex and being wanted. I would not consider myself a sexaholic but 2x a week would be perfect! It feels as if he finds it disgusting. How could anyone find sex disgusting I don't know? It's beautiful! I consider myself attractive and he is very attractive. You definetly made me feel better about how I feel about sex.