Help!!!



  • im in highschool and one of my ex's from last year just broke up with his girlfriend of almost 9 months this mornig and now he is wanting to ask me back out. last time we went out the relationship only lasted a week and im worried that if i say yes to him the same thing will happen agian. also, a few weeks ago he cheeted on his girlfriend with me... what should i do????



  • why did it only last a week with him and you? when did he cheat on his ex with you? if he cheated on her with you, whats stopping him from cheating on you with someone else or his ex?, almost sounds like your his booty call, your a Libra! do you love him? hmmm i dunno that pretty tricky here, maybe JUST MAYBE give it a go, BUT if it doesnt work again or he cheats, call it quits for good!!! your still in highschool!! theres lots of time and alot of better guys out there!!, as a libra you might hate being alone without someone, but the right guy will come along some day, maybe make him show you how much he cares for you? play very hard to get, and tell him if your going to be with me then you cant cheat anymore if you wanna break it off then just say it first before you cheat. jesus dont i sound like a woman! LMAO

    but he doesnt seem like the greatest guy to be honest, hes young,dumb and full of ____) insert word here lol



  • haha thanks. the first time we went out i knew that he was just rebounding and didnt expact it to last more than a couple days so i knew what i was getting into. with the whole cheating thing though, neither one of us knew what we were doing untill after we already did it. up untill that day he was faithfull to his girlfriend for almost 9 months. neither one of us were thinking and it was just a big mistake and now less than 4 hours after he broke up with her, he is asking me back out. i am so confused. i dont know if i ever had feelings for him or ever will but at the same time i dont wan to turn him down... i dont know what to do... please help!!!



  • ughh dammit wheres the women on these forums at! i can only be so much help lol, ok sorry for this ahead of time, but ok so youve slept with him a few times, and dont know if you have feelings for him? and you slept with him in the past KNOWING that you were just a rebound?

    all i have to say is WTF???? what if i were to say that you had low self confidence? do you have no problem meeting guys? or is this one kinda the only one that likes you, so you cant see how he is? cause ive been there alot too, i still kinda hate the way i look, but im getting better at it.

    i think he's using you, he gets what he wants and then moves on, if you turn him down what are you afraid of? , ughh dman this one is frustrating me, not you, but the guy, cause jesus some guys are a** holes. im so glad im different lol



  • chevelleman71: I love your sense of humour. I agree one hundred percent with your answer.

    LoveconfusedLibra: Yepp, you sure are confused. If you dont know if you have feelings for him, you are not supposed to be with him. S ex is just for fun or it has to do with love. I am one hundred percent sure that he just did it for fun. Cause if he really thought it meant something more, you would have felt it. Grow up and dont have s ex until after you have married. At least then you know for sure that you want the guy before you do it.



  • He cheated on his girlfriend with you he wii also cheat on you. You have so much more in front of you. Don't play second.



  • ok so i sould probably clarify, i am still partially a virgin so i never had sex with him. He really isnt a bad guy. Becides, what does feelings have to do with going out with someone?



  • Oh my gosh, now I am confused, whatta mean by partially virgin? If there was a penut in your va jay jay you are no longer a virgin even if its for a second. If you want to date the guy go ahead but just know that hes immature dumping his long term girlfriend then running to you? He just might go back to her anyways. Do you want to be a rebound? Reach higher. You can do better.



  • ok im sorry if you got offended, but when people say "cheated" ususally means s-e-x, so im guessing he used his hands lol BUT still i must ask again......this the only guy that shows you interest so you look past him almost hooking up with you when he was with his ex? he can do the same if he was with you!, and another thing, maybe its just me i dunno, but if im going out with someone, dating someone, taking them to movies etc... that means i like the person as they are and im looking for a possible relationship, also whats your definition or cheating? lol

    QUOTE

    "i dont know if i ever had feelings for him or ever will but at the same time i dont want to turn him down"

    what the hell?



  • LoveConfusedLibra,

    You should not be doing ANYTHING with a guy that you do not have real feelings for. Why would you even consider going out with a guy if you don't have feelings for him.

    How old are you? You sound like you are quite young.

    Do not allow yourself to be talked into doing anything with a guy unless you both have feelings for each other, so YES you should turn him down.....absolutely. Don't rush into anything, wait and save things for someone that you really care for and they really care for you.

    I'm sorry, but don't go giving it away to any old guy. I'm not a prude by any means, but you don't have feelings for him and he looks to be wanting one thing, so please, respect yourself more and wait for the right guy to come along. Sweetheart, if you play with fire, you may end up getting burnt.



  • Ok I can't resist this one. Your in high school. Every girl in high school wants to fit in some place. You don't need someone who is shopping for sex. He is very hormonal at this age. Maybe he left the other girl cause she didn't put out but he knows he has you warmed up. I understand that some people in high school don't consider oral sex or foreplay as going all the way. But you can get diseases from oral sex so use your head and see that your too young to be messing with someone who is only interested in what they can get not in your feelings at all. And you know when you have something someone wants they will tell you anything they think you want to hear to get it. Your starting out so please don't become one of those females who thinks they have to have a male in their life or they will just dry up and blow away. This is 2009 not the 50's. Get an education and work on building up your self esteem. So you know your a good person and don't rely on anyone else to convince you of it. When you do pick someone to be with it will be because you want to be with them not need to be with them. Make sense? Good luck and take care of your life I know we need those lessons and we don't learn from others mistakes so your allowed to make mistakes but just be careful. Peace and harmony young Libra.



  • Hi, I think your way too young and pretty to be falling into the same ole rountine with this guy. I guess high school has changed. You know, this isn't Beverly Hills 90210. Just joking. But, it's the truth. All this is ever going to be is a drama. You can be friends with anyone. I don't see this guy as a good pal. Don't get involved--move on. That's my advice.



  • I agree especially with Wenchie, don't be somebody's left overs, you are better than that. He wants to use you to make the other girl jealous. If he knows you'll accept what ever he does he will continue to use u as a back up or plan b. If you lie down with dog's you will get fleas.

    "Take a Stand"



  • Im sorry if this sounds selfish but from my experiences i have learned that if you get emotionaly involved in a relationship, you wind up getting hurt. I have also learned that the longer you go out with someone the harder the break-up. Also, i dont see how going out with someone i dont like is giving into or doing whatever he wants. I also dont see why emotions have to be involved in anything. It just seams like its easier on everyone if they aren't involved because that way when the break-up does come it is a clean break and no one gets hurt. I can see the pros and cons of being emotionaly involved in a relationship but i cant understand why anyone would ever do it. In the real world Nothing good ever lasts so why would someone put themself in that situation? And yes, i know the saying "Its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" but I have tried that whole love thing and its not something that i want to go through agian. I mean am I wrong?



  • @LoveConfusedLibra

    Well you are very young indeed judging by your posts and opinion on relationships. Obviously you have been hurt or seen someone you care about suffer from bad relationships. But you can't go through life without love otherwise you're choosing a very miserable existence in my opinion. The attitude of "yeah who needs love, emotions are for losers" sort off thing will lose it's meaning when you meet someone you truly care about and that will probably,hopefully happen one day. I really don't get why on earth would you be going out with someone you don't like...I mean if you are going out with them there must be something there....I personally can't stand being in the company of people i don't like let alone be intimate with....Just wrong.

    If you want to go out with this guy coz you are bored or because he gives you attention that someone else doesn't at least make sure you are aware of what are your reasons for being with him and be straight with yourself.

    But in all honesty if that is how you truly feel about relationships and emotions and you don't even like the guy i am baffled to as why would you be confused or worried about it and even go through the trouble of seeking other peoples opinions. If you were truly not interested in him or in having relationship with him or have any feelings for him you'd taken advantage of the situation by now and enjoyed it. But you haven't. I think you are scared you might get hurt. And this is normal. Everyone is. There is a saying "If you are scared of bears don't go into the woods".

    May be you are just not ready for this. But surely i see no point going out with someone you already say that you don't like. (Mind you i've fallen in love and had 2 relationships with guys i didn't particularly fancy physically at the beginning and they all ended up a mistake...)



  • I am not just afraid of getting hurt myself. I have known him for a long time and i dont want him to get hurt



  • I do not think going out with someone means you give him your body, but that is a possibility. I also do not think you should go out with someone that dumped you after a week unless of course, you will dump him after you go out 🙂

    Broken heart experiences happen not because feelings are involved. But because the other person does not feel the same way you do. So the feelings are not to blame. It's the person. And sometimes you can't blame them either, for it's better to know now than later, don't you think?

    You can choose to live without feelings, but then you are no different than the zombies. looking alive, but dead inside. Do not be afraid to feel, pain, sadness, love, hatred, joy are all parts of living experiences. If you haven't experienced them, you will someday.

    At your age, what is important is love yourself. Care for yourself the way you would to others. Go out and have fun, but the minute you notice a selfish action from the guy, protect yourself and don't let him hurt you again. Selfish action can range from dumping you without reason to force you into dangerous/criminal/s ex you don't want to get involved in.

    Again it's your choice what you want to do. Nothing wrong with going out, but the more you go out, you will develop feelings for him whether you like it or not. And if you don't go out, you will still develop feelings for him since you see him every day in school anyway. Maybe another guy, but if it's meant to be that you have feelings for him, you will, no matter how hard you try.


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