Virgo lady (me) & Taurus man
Jesus, this man....I swear he has some weird power over me....️
So i met this man over 20 yrs ago, we worked together, dated for few months but then he broke it off as career was VERY important & he knew that had to be his main focus, he knew where he wanted to get in life. After a while we both moved on married, kids etc but every week we would catch up via text, sometimes call but that spark was always there, I've always loved him. For 20 years we have always told each other we married the wrong person & we always told each we loved each other. Every now and then we would plan to meet up for a coffee but one of us would always pull out as the intense feeling, the overwhelming butterfly feeling....the emotions were crazy and we could both feel it. Any way fast forward 20 years, both got divorced etc and we met up one day for dinner, drinks and then the build up from the past 20 years was just there and before you know it we were tearing each others clothes off......and omg was it good!!!!! So we were then finally after all these years now together. I met all his friends very quickly, already knew some family, sat and chatted with his mum who said to me she's so glad I'm back with him etc. Very quickly he was telling everyone that I'm his soul mate, his best mate, his never letting me go this time, shouldn't have done the 1st. He was always buying food for my kids, helping me with things, always checking where I was/going, always wanted me at his place, whenever I picked up my phone he'd be over my shoulder seeing who I'm talking to......this was the fairytale I'd be waiting for and finally with the man I've always loved. We even spoke about marriage, didn't get engaged just spoke about for the future, 9 months in he bought a bigger house for us and all the kids to eventually live in.
Then everything changed, bought the house & his mum died. So I knew things would be abnormal for a while....but as weeks went on he became distant, no more little touches, kisses, no more wondering who I was texting, no more cuddles on the sofa, the buying stuff for the kids stopped.....everything stopped...i was still seeing him and sleeping together but that felt like it was hard work for him. Any lockdown in Nov came....he struggled not being able to go and eat out, play golf, our holiday got cancelled....then January we have a chat and he wants finish things as he dont feel himself. But wants to he friends......2nd time I'm now heartbroken.
Now February & I confused, he texts and says
- shall we have dinner next week as friends atm
- shall we move that hotel we had booked to the summer, I want still go as friends or bf/gf, it's up to you (he says)
- the holidays we have booked we can go as friends or bf/gf (we have 2 booked for end of the year)
I then mentioned I'm going away for a couple of days on my own later in year, he said oh I'll like to do that and his booked it for just me & him.....to Venice, romance city of the world & going to see an opera singer we both love & joked about in the past getting him to perform when we get married one day.
Last week gone back to being over my shoulder to see who I'm texting, bought some bits for my kids.
I know this man better than he knows himself but this I just can not suss out.
HELP!!! What does he want???? Personally I think he really does love me but his scared.
If your a tauraus man pls give me some insite here but my god I have no clue what is going on
Why keep saying "as friends or bf/gf" if we are now single which he wanted why keep saying that?
He keeps asking me to stay at his but in separate beds atm. Does he just like having me around?
He keeps telling me he'll look after me emotionally and financially but if we arent together then he has no need for that.
But why keep throwing in the bf/gf bit all the time. Weve got trips planned up to a year away
From a psychological stand point, it sounds like he's trying to hide things from you when he is upset. He doesn't want to burden with the things going on his personal life, and he may even fear commitment. I can recall before my boyfriend and I got together, he was terrified of commitment, and he claimed that he was afraid that he'd scare me away with all the problems that he had at the time. It sounds like you two just need to sit down and have a chat with each other. It sounds like both of you need to have a long serious talk and tell each other nothing but the truth. (Almost like a little therapy session) I guarantee that you two will learn a lot about each other.
You are wallowing in your own sadness. (Reversed Five of Cups) You are allowing yourself to feel guilt and pain in this situation. You are allowing him to hurt you without thinking about it. What you can do to try to fix it is by finding an equal balance for both of you. (Reversed Temperance) You both seem to lack equality in this relationship. This could be due to you two feeling differently about each other, or one of you is not putting in the same amount of effort that the other is. Find this balance in your relationship because if you don't then this can cause your relationship with this man to crumble more, and it can make it even more difficult to build new relationships. (Reversed Three of Cups)