Cancer woman says she’s not sure she can love again



  • I have been dating a cancer woman for 20 months, she is amazing, however she has been engaged twice previously and treated badly both times, once cheated on by one of the guys. They were both quite toxic relationships, my problem is that this girl keeps pushing me away, I know she is afraid, to be fair so am I but I have taken the leap and she knows I love her, I do so much for her, I support her, cook for her, look after her and so on and I do it willingly. She never has told me she loves me, she says I’m amazing and in fairness things have gotten better and better, only a couple of weeks ago she met my parents but the second I ask her if she loves me she freaks out, we just split up again, obviously I’m hurting because truthfully I could see myself spending my life with her and I really want that because we have such a great time, maybe I shouldn’t ask her if she loves me, sometimes it’s hard not to because shes so thoughtful and caring of me, I guess I get frustrated, especially as I feel I’m the one who’s always done the fighting for us ? Some facts about us, I’m 44, she is 41, she was single for about a year before we met



  • What are both your dates of birth?



  • @TheCaptain I’m 29/09/1976 she is 6/07/1979



  • If you two can make it through the love affair, this can be ideal for marriage or a long-term relationship. But that is a big IF. As long as the two of you respect each other’s space and refrain from judging each other, however, you can reach new heights of ethereal, ecstatic or spiritual experience together. Sensitivity and acceptance are enhanced here, and both of you could find yourselves fully appreciated. But you Nick will tend to appreciate the matchup more for what you can gain from it. You are not always fully aware of what you have here, and might fail to realize that critical, demanding and condemning attitudes can easily rend this vulnerable relationship’s gossamer fabric.

    Love, marriage or friendship here can all represent evolutionary stages in the development of this relationship, or, at the highest level of the matchup, may even be combined in one. High ideals and challenging ideologies appeal to you both, and you are often consciously engaged in self-actualizing experiences either together or separately. New-age techniques, workshops and reading may be of special interest. The ideas gleaned from such activities can be put into practice in the kitchen, work areas and sleeping quarters. Care must be taken that new ideas do not become rigid dogma, however, inhibiting the healthful impulses they are meant to foster.

    The two of you are likely to be over-sensitive to each other, certainly empathic and perhaps even telepathic. You will repeatedly have to redraw ego boundaries between you to distinguish your individual wants and needs. Although closeness in a relationship is generally a plus, in this particular one the two of you risk losing your own personalities, and drowning as individual selves. As partners, you two will benefit from your great sensitivity to each other only if you give this attunement a positive spin. Try to gain more objectivity and limit criticism.

    Your love interest can be a passionate and loyal romantic partner but she has learned to be cautious and give herself plenty of time before pledging her love. She also has a tendency to be addictive or intense in her approach to life. She can also be a little too needy and should give her partner enough room to breathe. When she is able to let go in this way, she will find love a much easier game to play.

    At its best, this relationship can be sensitive, empathic and spiritual but at its worst, it can be judgmental, dogmatic and co-dependent.



  • @TheCaptain the love affair was her ex cheating on her, it was about 3 years ago



  • No, your love affair with her. You love her, right? Has she said she loves you?


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