Am I really making progress?

  • So in the past month and a half I have been doing much better, Its hard I stil miss him but its not overwhelming like it was before. My things from his house are still untouched, they smell like his house and they remind me of him so I hid them away until I am actually ready to deal with that. Two days ago he sent me a friend request on facebook. I didn't respond I am just not ready to hear what he has to say good or bad. I believe he is still with her and I want no part of this once she is in the picture. I am putting my life back together without him, but I still do miss him and so far loving him hasn't stopped but its no longer all I can think about. Can someone give me a reading and tell me where my life is heading? I feel that he is somehow trying to make his way back but I am not sure if this is wishful thinking or my intuition.

  • As one who has recently ended this exact type of relationship, I can honestly share that the longer you refuse to talk to him, the better off you will be. Search for activities that take your mind off of him. Before long, the pain will lesson with each passing day until the day arrives when you no longer feel what you once felt.

    Forgiving someone like this is not easy but it can be done. It does not mean that you will forget, however. Follow your instincts and do what feels best for you. It is my belief you are on the right road.

  • thank you and which road is that I don't even know where I am at this point. I am less focused on himm but at the same time I want him back in my life. I am just not sure I hope I am on the right path

  • Hi, I believe that the best advice is not to get involved w/him. Get your track shoes on and run.

  • I don't want to run from him. I don't want to run from anyone. I dont want to walk around for the rest of my life avoiding him because of some power over me that I gave to him. I am not so weak that I will just fall back into his bed or his lap. Its not like that for me. I can listen because at the end of the day I realize the reality of the situation is he left me to be with someone else. Not just anyone else the same woman who cheated on him and one day while he was at work packed up all of her things and left without a word. She was able to waltz back in two years later when life became difficult for her and pick up right where she left off. But that was his choice to allow the situation to play out that way. I am no longer angry, and the hurt isn't so deep where my emotions are so vulnerable that I need to be afraid of him. I am not sure if that makes sense.

  • That makes sense. I think when the other girls say to continue to not talk to him, they do not mean to run or avoid him. I think it just means that even if you tell him that is what may be best for you, you don't need to hear what he has to say. You need to work on what you want and where you want to go. Since things are getting better, that is good, but wounds like this are still fresh and many times, right under the surface. Who knows what kind of can of worms you can open on yourself just by engaging in conversation with him? I know how that can go because I have had thoughts of an ex plenty of times before and then when I finally do see them or talk to them, the ideas and thoughts multiply by 100. I think you just need to focus on you, on where you want things to head, and how you are going to be leading a life seperate of him. Even if he is trying to get back with you, he does not deserve you. What he did was extremely wrong and hurtful and you do not deserve the same kind of pain again. You are making progress just by asking for help and ideas to stay strong and to listen to your intuition. If your intuition is saying it may be wishful thinking, then it just may be. But that is okay. It is all a process and it takes time. Stay strong 😃

    Universal Harmony

  • Thank you. Honestly my intuition really tells me he wants something but is not sure how to go about it. I actually feel that I am strong enough to listen. He was never a bad person to me, but what he did at the end will always be in my head. Its not going to go away. As time progresses we will see what happens

  • Hi, You may not agree with this. I feel that when anyone does this and then wants to chat down the road it is strange in a number of ways. I think you are letting go of some of your power or yourself. Don't take this personal. I think he would perceive this as being weak. I feel that there is no greater ammo for someone like this than if they know that you are great. Misery loves company. I'm not talking about your misery. I see him as immature. I wouldn't feed his ego. I know this may sound blunt or uncaring but I think he is. There is never an easy way to end a relationship and he may not know why he's doing it. In all honesty, I don't think it was a split decision. I think they were probably in contact somewhat. Some people fall back into the same patterns. It may not make sense to you but it makes perfect sense to them. They have got some major issues to work thru. It's not going to be a picnic for either one. Chances are they will not last. I've heard that when people try to work thru this it never works. When I say put on your track shoes, I was joking. Just a play on words about the potential there.

  • I am i no way attempting to go back to him. Where would we begin? Can we really start over from where we were. And don't get me wrong I made mistakes in our relationship too. Honestly at this point whether they stay together or not doesn't make a difference to me. I can say I haven't stopped loving him and I am honest myself about that, but I do not love him more than I love myself. He humiliated me and I would be the biggest fool if I took him back, but listening never hurt anyone and it isn't going to hurt me.

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