Its complicated



  • Re: [Broke up with a Cancer Woman](How do I get her back?)

    I am a capri guy, I started dating a cancer girl when I was just 15. Then I had to move out of the state for further studies. It was a long distance thing. We didn't break up because of it, we had a good run for like a year, but then I started getting these news that she was spotted with another guy all the time, so I confronted her about it, and it just blew and she said she wasn't into him at all, but then we broke up and she got with him in like a day.
    I was never able to move on. But then when I got back at my hometown, we got in contact after 3 or 4 years, and then I told that she was the love of my life and that she always has been. So we started seeing each other again. But then after 3-4 months, I found out she was cheating on me again, I accidentally found out when I was going thru her phone. It really broke me. But I eventually forgave her and got back together again. Then we had a good run again for 2 years until we broke up again 3 months ago. Because acc to her I was very lazy and unresponsive which I was because It was hard for me to regain the same trust again, and my temper, I snapped i hurt her with my words. But then I tried everything to get back at her, texting, calling and all the shit. I have told her that she is the only love of my life for like a million times. And that the only reason I was so into myself because I needed time to regain all the trust again. But she wouldn't listen.
    Some days she would really love me like a guardian but some days she would cheat on me.

    Idk what to do. Or idk what went wrong. I just know that she's the only weakness I ever had. Should I try to make it up to her? Or is it her that should make it up? Idk



  • @Tombroody
    How does she fulfill your ideal of the “love of your life” ?
    Is the consistent cheating part of your ideal? Has she sincerely asked for your forgiveness or are you just saying that you forgive to stay in her life ?
    Please, ask yourself if this is how you deserve to be treated or if this is how you want to be treated. She will not change, because she has no reason to change. And you have told her (and yourself) that she is the love of your life, as she is. So again, is this your idea of love?

    I remember when we were much younger, I asked a friend of mine why she stayed with her first boyfriend even though she knew he as cheating on her. Her response was “because I’m not ready to let go yet”. Do not hold on to something that will damage your trust and self esteem, because the longer you hold on, the more damage it will cause. You have the power to change only yourself and the power to decide what type of behaviour is acceptable to you.



  • She repeatedly cheats on you and you go begging for her forgiveness. Unless you want to be treated like a doormat all your life, dump this lying lover. This is a very destructive relationship and you deserve better. This is not THE love of your life, just the first one which always makes a lasting impression. And please do not believe that every girl is like this one or judge them for her mistakes..



  • @Tombroody
    It is better to be alone (not lonely) than always to wonder what is going to happen next (stress). If your lover is cheating then you do not have what they needs. It would be good if you determine what attributes your lover has that makes you crave their company, think there will be no one else similar to them, making you willing to put up with their behaviour.


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