Really Confused



  • I dated my ex for 9 months. The first 7 were amazing. We never fought, we got along so well. Then he had to get this other job. He was working 7 days a week, sometimes 12 hour days. We had no time really for ourselves cause the time we did had was reserved to going out with our friends. He became extremely stressed out, tired and frustrated and it caused us to get into some disagreements. I had previously been in a relationship where the guy felt his job and being successful was more important to him than I was. He didn't treat me right. I had warned my current ex that we would have problems but he wouldn't listen. He thought I was leaving him and got scared. Told me I was the best thing to happen to him and that I touched him like noone else had. He had a hard time trusting people cause all his other girlfriends left him. He said he let me in and couldn't lose me. We got through it and I thought everything was fine. But he worked himself more and more. Then one day he just broke up with me, said he didn't feel it anymore that he didn't know why. He wanted this more than anything. He did love me but the last month he had been faking it. I asked him if had to do with his job, he said no and got right defensive about it. He was crying and acting like he didn't want to let me go but for some reason he had to. Then he said I would be better off with my close male friend. And needed to know the difference how I felt about the 2 of them. He really wanted to still be my friend, he said he needed my goodness in his life. He said again I was the best thing to happen to him and that I touched his heart like no other girl has. He packed up my stuff before I even knew it, like he couldn't stand to look at anymore. I asked him if there was anyone else and he looked me in the eye and said no. He said he wanted to take me somewhere and then drive me home. I wouldn't let him. I took my stuff and left.

    I did try to talk to him online a week later. I knew it was a bad idea. He was right cold to me and said we were incompatible and it wasn't a fixable situation. He said sorry if I felt something cause he never did. I haven't heard from him since. For the first month our friends never heard from him either. It was like he fell off the face of the earth. Then I found out he's been with this girl he works with (who I thought was my friend. She was the first person to call me after the breakup, acting all concerned) since a week after we broke up. I don't see what he sees in her. She's not much different than me, I don't see what interests she would have in common with him. I just don't understand why he's with her. He always believed that REBOUND is never good and praised me for waiting after my last breakup. Why would he give up all his beliefs just like that? How could he move on so quickly. We have been through so much together. He was always so protective of me, even up to the last weeks we were together. What turned him against me?



  • Hi, Usually the other woman wants him out of the relationship, so they can see them exclusively. The only thing I see here is that you were defensive about him working so much. Maybe he had to, to get ahead. I have had that brought-up to me and it's no fun. Many jobs (especially Management), require extra hours. I guess he got to know this person and maybe she was more accepting--just a thought.



  • Wow!!! Sounds exactly the way my ex carried on before he ended things with me.

    Was his name Kris??



  • No its not the same person



  • I just really sense my ex was afraid of commitment and saw this girl as an easy way out. I believe he did love me, or as much as he could, but he's not grown up enough to deal with those sort of emotions. Maybe he never will be. With her, I think I likes the attention he gives her, something I think he felt I wasn't given him anymore. There is no real commitment there with her, He can just go out and have fun with her and whatever and he's not stressed out by it. With me he was always worrying I think about me, about me maybe not being truly happy. It was too much on his plate. Plus maybe he was afraid I would leave him and is why he put up this wall the last month we were together. He decided to leave me first so I couldn't do it first to save himself from long term pain of it. He already had a problem with all his other girlfriends leaving him



  • Being with her does probably make it a less stressful situation for him. They work together and that makes it easier. She probably is more accepting right now. Its easier for her cause she got into the relationship knowing about it. It had the job sprung on me after 7 amazing months. It was hard for me to adjust especially just getting out of relationship where the job was more important than me. The last month I really bite my tongue and I starting to accept it. It was the frustration that was a problem after that not just the time. He was tired and stresses, I was tired. It's just sad what happend to us. Stress really does a number on people. My insecurities didn't help matters any. I guess I'm too emotional. He's not one to handle or express emotions very well anyways. I at least I have those 7 amazing months.Which is more than I got from my last relationship.


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