I'm wondering if I will find love this year with someone or will it be next year that I finally meet someone? I'm 35 and have only encountered one connection so far that turned out to be Karmic.
I would like to try and find out why I've been single my entire life. I'm honestly about to give up!
March Fifth, 1985
Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
Craig, you are the one who controls when you meet the love of your life. You have to remove any love obstacles in your life first, however. Once there is no 'love wall' between you and your soulmate, you will be drawn to each other. Looking at your profile, I see that you may have trouble staying calm and in control when things don’t go your way. You need to put yourself and not your emotions in the driving seat of your life because your mood swings can negatively impact your relationships. You can fall passionately in love one day, only to change your mind and blow cold the next day. Issues with commitment can stem from a difficult family history, perhaps involving physical or emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, or a childhood of being moved around a lot, leading to feelings of instability and lack of security/safety. Maybe you didn't feel wanted, loved, nourished or safe early enough in life through some sort of ignorance. Even if you were raised in a relatively stable home, you still have this enormous yearning need to be loved and to have the security of a family. Your easy sociability can attract many friends and admirers and you tend to be gregarious, family-oriented and generally relaxed with people. But your air of confidence often hides an insecurity you would be wise to acknowledge to yourself and others in order to achieve a new level of authenticity. Since your issues lead you toward self-deception or denial, you may discover that ‘confession’ is indeed good for the soul. By confessing your sensitive or insecure qualities, you will have less to defend, less to prove, and fewer people you have to impress. This will lead to a greater sense of inner solidity. In your vulnerability, you can find new strength. You need to bring any issues with others (esp. family) into the open and express all your emotions to them, even anger and resentment, before you can express your love. However, through confusion, fear or lack of commitment, you may not allow others to get too close or yourself to stay too long in one place or with one person. Part of you wants stability and security more than anything, but another part resists that very goal by becoming a wandering gypsy. Deep down you yearn for a close, loving bond with someone and a safe secure home life that can take away all the pain of the past. When you see relationships as a process of ups and downs, entailing learning, maturation, and mutual support, you will come to appreciate them as challenging forms of spiritual training rather than ‘the same old thing’.
Given the extremes to which you are prone, you need to receive unconditional love and support from those who are close to you, although you also need firmness. Once you know what you can and cannot get away with, you will be much less likely to test the waters and will remain stable in a relationship. You have two distinct sides to your personality. To the world, you may appear debonair and charming, sophisticated, as well as kind and considerate, while inside you are grappling with your personal 'demons'. Extremely secretive, you can be quite a different person in private and are often prone to expressing dark feelings and emotions. So you must grapple with this dark side if you want to be a good companion. Underneath your sociable and confident façade is a highly sensitive soul that desperately needs regular time out in quiet and solitary reflection. Inside, you may have many hidden fears and insecurities to deal with; if you don’t allow yourself time to acknowledge these fears, you will be at the mercy of your impulses and there is no telling in what direction you will go. You may worry that becoming more balanced and stable will result in a loss of intensity or edge, but you need to understand that cultivating personal will-power and self-control will not lessen but strengthen your creativity and the impact you can have on other people. You need to find a balance because, with your emotional honesty, you have the ability to bring out both the best and the worst in yourself and in others. When you find this emotional balance, you will also find true love.
Thanks this was very thorough. Can you elaborate a little bit on emotional balance? Do you mean addressing fears and insecurities?
One more thing. I wanted to let you know your intuition is spot on. My mother was emotionally absent growing up. My parents divorced when I was three. I'm also a little indecisive about wanting to settle down and mess around some. This was all spot on accurate!
@Craig3585 finding emotional balance is all about not leaping so fast from one extreme mood to another. Find the middle spot in your emotions. You should be in control of you. But changing your mind frequently can be about not really knowing what or who you want.