I could really use some guidance right now...Why do I care so much?
I posted something about this in the "relationship" forum, but haven't had any responses. I know I am being very Impatient, but thats because it is heavy on my mind and I can't focus until I figure this out.
I can copy what I posted to give more insight?
It has to do with myself and a guy who is a Scorpio.
Dalia last edited by
Hi, I haven't read any of your previous posts. So can you give more info.
Hi Dalia....Sure... I pasted it below. Sorry, it's a bit long.....
So, I am trying to figure out if I am wasting my time with someone. Him and I have a MAJOR communication problem. I am a Sagg and he's a Scorpio. When it comes to love matters (I have venus in scorpio) I tend to behave much like a scorpio...hiding my feelings, acting like I don't care, being unavailable or ignoring him...I dated him a few months ago for about 2-3 months straight and this method seemed to work because he is a Scorpio....but then he just totally disappeared on me. Things were amazing...we would stay at eachothers house a lot, talk about everything in the universe and we just have this crazy mental & physical attraction...we tend to stare at eachother alot and its all NONVERBAL communication.
When we were seeing eachother for that long I was surprised because I know he has only had one relationship and that was 5 years ago! We are both in our late 20's. I never gave him any indication that I wanted a relationship...we just spent a decent amount of time together because we felt like being around eachother. Seems like things were becoming too much like a relationship so he bailed.
So we saw eachother again recently (after months of nothing) and we hung one night and it was really sweet, we spent the night on his friends couch, but then a couple days later I text him to see what he was doing and no response????
So we see eachother out again, we met up with mutual friends, and this time I felt weird around him after he ignored my call so I didnt give him much attention..but i remained nice and friendly (weird vibe after being so intimate at one time)...so he worked all night to get close to me and I finally let him hold my hand...we were at his friends house and he just acted like we were a couple..then he is staring into my eyes...there is so much tension between us...as he was staring I smiled at him and he shot back a sort of "sad" smile....what does this all mean???!!! Seems like he tried to talk to me through his eyes....too bad I can't read minds!
I want him to know how I feel...but I don't want to get hurt or rejected. I wonder if I played too many games...He is also friends with my ex and seems to think him and I are constantly involved...thats one issue...and the fact he is not very experienced with relationships.
I have a hard time revealing what I truly feel and I am so caught up in playing games now that I dont know where to stop. It seems like we both hide our true feelings (good or bad)...dissecting and analyzing every little detail.....without really knowing the truth because neither of us will talk ....or act like we care about that stuff.
How do I approach this? I really dont want rejection from him. I am pretty much determined to make him mine....but this method is not working!.
Firefly01 last edited by
The feeling I get is that you feel he is playing games with you, and you are probably right. Allow your instincts to inform you and trust your gut. It will never lead you astray.
Firefly01 last edited by
Now that I have read your pasted version, I understand your dilemma. Don't worry about the games YOU are playing. He's the one playing mind games. Scorpios are extraordinarily jealous and unreasonable about excuses. He can be jealous about the time you spend with your mother!
Scorpios like to spin out fantasies and give you lots of rope to hang yourself with; so that it becomes a tantalizing game of "here one minute and gone the next" with the purpose in mind of forcing you to reveal yourself. They are very, very moody and given to periods of silence that alternate with periods of brooding about such issues as football teams and stuff so deep it would blow your mind.
The way you ignored him is exactly the right action to take. When a Scorpio is serious, he will definitely let you know. In the meantime, live your own life and let him stew.
I read your first discussion about you and scorp guy but I didn't reply to that one since I don't really know what can work for a Scorp. I never really spend my time enough to nurture a relationship with water signs.
I did have very bad experience with a Scorp. we had long distance relationship. we planned to settle down and get a house. so he came to town and I took some days off work. he never showed up and I was worried waiting not a single call or news. but when waiting I forgot to tell my boss that I needed more days off so I was fired. There was no communication at all as if he was missing. I felt sad but I didn't dwell in it. I kept going and later on I met a Cap and married him later in the same year. It's been almost 9 years and I never regret marrying him.
I stubbornly believe that if I have been true, I wouldn't lose out in life. and that has been proven time and time again. even in love, I had been stabbed back and forth, yet I kept going and fnally found my oasis. If you have been true, I'm sure you will find someone. Even if it's not this Scorp, you may even find better. have you tried dating someone else? try it. you never know. Scorp can break communication just like that. I have been there so I know. I don't let them leave me in uncertainty though, I don't like wasting my time in the void. I hope you don't have to waste more time with this guy. Good luck.
Thank you! You have a great understandingof Scorpios! I have had a similar experience with another Scorp i dated. He gave me all the rope to hang myself...I have learned to be alot more tight-lipped from that experience.
The more i think about everything, and things I am hearing from friends/people who know him....the more it seems that this guy had and maybe still has some kind of interest in me....BUT that he is just not ready to be in a relationship...and on top of that he is not sure about me....so my gut kind of tells me that there is something there but in order for anything to come out of this I need to sit back and relax and let things unfold naturally.....let him come to me......but first I need to reveal myself a little more to him because I think alot of his efforts to "have me reveal myself" have failed. The only way I am going to do that is to STOP playing games and let him know subtly that he is someone special to me (without seeming needy or vulnerable)........I know scorps tend to admire emotional strength in people..........I dont think he understand that I am not trying to be in a relationship, but that i just really enjoy his company........
Thank you for your advice....you are right...it is important to know that if things dont pan out as i hope that I was meant for something better for me. Seems like your experience with the guy never showing up is a typical scorpio move. I learned from this one that even when there is a perfectly understandable explanation for these things....Scorpios HATE explaining their self sometimes...and they don't mind that you dont understand them or what happened...I think they like things that way.
Dalia last edited by
Hi, Me. . I don't believe in wasting your time with this guy. You may feel like you've got all the time in the world but you don't. I think you can get better friends than this. What I mean is, would you want this as a friend. Without over analyzing that's the way I feel.
I understand your perspective....I have moments when I think that way too. For some reason though I can't help but revert back to where I am now....I guess I just feel like I need to get a few things off my chest with him so that I can feel I did all i could. ....I have to at least do that. He can react to it however he may.........By no means am I going to wait around for him...Once he knows at least somewhat how I feel...his reaction will determine my reaction.
Universalharmony last edited by
Hello Silana, I agree with what you said above. I think what you need to do is just let go of your fear and lay your feelings out on the table. It doesn't matter about zodiac compatibility when it comes to matters of the heart. How do you feel? Do you care for him? Love him? Want something to grow? Well then you have to go out on a limb and let him know. If you have been waiting for the right time and find there never is one, then either realize you just have to get it off your chest or move on. I noticed so many of us women have all these questions about men and can get them answered just by asking them. If he rejects you, you will be hurt, but you will have your answer and know what to do next. Instead of dwelling on what if, you will have an answer and can move forward accordingly. And if he likes what you say, then you will be happy and something can grow from their. Either way it just looks like you need to use your communication skills to bridge this gap. That is the key to all relationships be it family, friends, and lovers. I hope it goes well
Scorps are confusing. only because it is my rising that by reading people's story I sometimes know if it's over or it's not. and that's not certain either.
I have to say not all Scorps are like that. I believe some are genuinely nice and only react this way if they are depressed or ill somehow. but since you don't say anything of that nature, I'm guessing it's just him.
Candlegoddes in your other discussion says it best.
Thank you for the kind words. You couldnt be more right! That really helps me out....The courage to to this off my chest has not been an easy thing to acquire. Thank you again...your wisdom is much appreciated.
Leoscorpion...............You seem to know the feeling of confusion some of these guys tend to leave us with....makes me wonder if we confuse them as well?.....hmmm
or they make us think we confuse them
anyway hope for the best. take care. now. i'm off the thread.