Captain plz insight



  • A girl I've known about 20 yrs I want to ask about. She hasn't moved ahead and is stuck. 2 of her kids family members have taken over by court order. She has come to me on a few occasions for help/work and I'm having her work for me now. I have to transport her. I'm trying to stress that she needs another job to get transportation. She's feeding 6 dogs and cats..don't know how many cats. I know she has mental issues. The part that's hard for me is she seems to have a sense of entitlement and judges me on music I listen to or the tv I watch. I've had talks w her about this. She won't take responsibility for anything and everything is always someone else's fault. She often says the lord told her this or that. I believe god has given her a path by being able to work for me. I told her to use this time to get on her path. The only interest she has is Christian broadcasting. I don't think she qualifies for social security she's 62. Her dob 4/12 not sure on yr. The reason why I'm writing this is sometimes she gets on my last nerve. I've talked w her about these things and there's more of course but too numerous. Because of her issues she's like someone forgotten left to dry so to speak



  • This woman is stuck and, by propping her up, you are helping her to stay stuck. Sometimes people need a sharp shock in order to change and move forward. You don't need this aggravating entitled person in your life. You would be doing you both a favour to cut her loose.



  • @TheCaptain I had quit taking her to town w me. I had to go to town today and asked if she needed to go thinking she'd appreciate it. First thing out of her mouth when she got in car was...I asked god if I should go but he didn't say anything. I didn't say anything either...lol. It was a long trip. I won't do that again. It seems like most people I help that really seem like they need it don't appreciate it. Towards the end of the trip she said she enjoyed it. I stopped 2 places. Neither place had the type paper towels she wanted. It had to be this 1 place
    Anyway...
    .



  • @Dallyalot everyone should help others in trouble - initially. But if they keep leaning and don't ever come to stand on their own feet, help should be withdrawn, as it has become dependence. Independence and self-reliance should always be the preferred outcome. This woman needs to realise she is wasting her money on these TV evangelicals of whom many are just fraudsters. But that is a lesson only she can learn.



  • @TheCaptain Well, she decided she could no longer work for me. I asked her not to watch Christian tv the entire time at my house. She said I was picking on her. Told her I don't mind it but not the entire time. Was helping her at the free food pantry until the lines got too long. The night she quit she left a box of the food she eats. I looked in the box. There was a big can of dog food. I think she's eating that. I had heard from some people that she does that. I felt so bad when I saw that. I know she sends tv evangelicals money, feeds 6 dogs etc. I just know that she gets enough from me for utilities and food but it's not being used for that.



  • @Dallyalot you are not responsible for everyone's life choices and decisions - that is on their head and you will stress yourself out worrying about it. Everyone has a duty and responsibility to look after themselves but some people will lean on others forever if permitted. Sometimes adversity is the only thing that brings out people's wisdom and strength so carrying someone when they should be walking on their own feet can be damaging to them. You have to know where to draw the line between and recognise those deserving your help and those who are taking advantage of your good nature.





  • @TheCaptain so I found someone to do the work and replaced this girl. Call her P. P for problem. Anyway she's been texting me saying I owe her money. I keep records have been thru them and don't owe her. I had someone helping before and she said she told them I owed her 4 days and this person up and quit on me about 2 yrs ago. I think P told this person this to try and get her job as this person wanted fewer hrs. So I told P that I think she's a con artist and can't con me. Blocked her from calling etc. I've noticed that she and her ex would work for individuals or cling to individuals they think have money. I could go on...she's gone.



  • @Dallyalot good job! If she does try it again, threaten her with the police or legal action - con artists will always back away when threatened with exposure. They are bullies, but are easily defeated with a show of strength.



  • @Dallyalot. It sounds like she is taking advantage of you, and taking your help for granted. Does this 62 year old woman have some mental health issues too?



  • @TulipLilly yes she does have mental issues. Couple of things that were hard to fathom was her sense of entitlement and manipulation when it came to the job. She lives on the edge and I helped her for almost 2 yrs w transportation water and a job. I drew the line when she started bossing me and other crazy stuff too numerous to get into. I hope she finds her way but needs less entitled and more thankful.


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