Captain, May I?
Hi Captain, I hope you are well and taking care of yourself during this interesting predicament the world has found itself in.
I took some time to read over my old posts over the years on here, and I couldn't help but cringe. It makes me admire the advice you gave to the very young and naive girl I was, and how unbelievably kind and patient you were with me as well.
What stands out the most? Is that you were right about everything. ESPECIALLY the men. I didn't see it at the time because I wasn't ready to hear it. Which is why I'm here again, and I'm hoping you'll be able to tell me some good things today, or level with me in a way I need to hear.
Here's some back story first: This man I'm asking about means a great deal to me, and has been a part of my life for almost 10 years now. I have to admit, I ran from him because I wanted that fantasy of a perfect family with my son's father. I had blinders on. I chased my son's father futilely for YEARS at the behest of everyone in my life (and yes, including you as well). But this other man was both patient AND consistent. Meeting him at this time scared me, I was not receptive to this OBVIOUS connection with someone I clicked perfectly with. I shut it out and ran away from it because I didn't want to acknowledge it. I was too caught up in wanting something that was not good for me but ego prevented me from seeing reason. Like how it was possible to be happy with anyone else other than my son's father. Because it wasn't hard with this other man, and riddled with problems/angst like my son's father - I thought it couldn't be a real connection then because that's what I was used to. Chaos, toxicity, and constantly trying to prove why you were worthy. This other man brought none of that to the table with his kind, steady belief in me, and in us. I made it incredibly difficult for him, I blocked him everywhere, and never picked up his calls/texts for YEARS. I saw other toxic, emotionally unavailable men during that time as well. But, he never gave up. Every few months he would try at the friendship again and I would continue to run. I never stopped thinking about him - you don't forget it when you feel something that real (only deny it), I was just too caught up in my own world. Around 2014 I realized I needed to work on myself, went to therapy, went back to school, and got a great job - just put a nice life together for my son and I. I needed to do that for myself after everything I had been through. I had to be on my own for that, and it took a few years. Building your self worth isn't a quick process, is it? Finally in late 2017 he reached out again, and this time I actually responded. It was like no time had gone by, as cliche as that sounds. He makes me feel beautiful, both inside and out. And we've slowly started to build something over the last 3 years that I feel ready to take further. Now I feel he has reservations, he's never been angry with me for keeping him away all of those years - we've had in depth conversations with him insisting that I didn't owe him anything - including an explanation. But he absolutely deserved one and that conversation brought us even closer. And complications in his own life hold him back too, I believe. Otherwise he and I would not still be where we are - stagnant. I know we love each other, that's not the issue.
I know our birth dates make an odd pairing that doesn't make sense on paper at all. But looking around I see a lot of other pairings with the same astrological background have the same kind of chemistry (so I know it's not unheard of). Please shed some wisdom on where his head is at, how I can maybe understand him better, and how to move forward. And maybe give me some good news? haha.
THANK YOU for reading all of this, ahead of time.
My birth date: April 15, 1986
His: March 13, 1986
If you need to know anything else just ask, I've obviously left a lot out because of the length of the post as is.
This will be difficult for love. This relationship can be a naive, even childlike one in which neither party really cares to understand the other at a deep level. A productive, lasting marriage or love affair between two such individuals as yourselves will be rare (even though you THINK other such chilidlike couples are doing well on the surface), since the two of you can lack emotional, spiritual or physical maturity. You can make objective and accurate psychological assessments, however, permitting you valuable insights. Like the child who saw the emperor naked in the fairy tale, you will maintain an atmosphere of honesty, although not always of comprehension or sympathy. Your ability to attract followers through teaching can arouse this man's jealousy, as he usually wants nothing more than to affect his environment in this kind of way, but has more difficulty doing so. Yet the two of you can form a fast friendship, with admiration for each other’s talents and abilities playing an important role. In emotional areas, however, frustrations may emerge over an inability to share feelings at a deep level. Although both of you have far-reaching ideas, you are more concerned with your fellow human beings and with society as a whole, while he is more caught up in philosophical and universal concerns.
Not the most compatible match, I'm afraid.
Wow, thank you! That's given me a great deal to mull over and think about.