Virgo (M) Cancer (F) WHAT IS HAPPENING!

  • it's been almost 3 months since i got out of a very serious relationship, lasted almost 2 years... but unfortunately it all ended, it wasn't like any one of us wanted it to, but she was afraid of me hurting her again she left to "take care of herself" and it's been rough, for the first month im not gonna lie i was a bit held on the idea of trying to get her back but i had to accept where i was and that this was meant to happen, so that i can learn, but i made a dumb decision 2 weeks into single life and i texted her wanting to talk, to be honest i wasn't trying to reconcile, i dropped all expectations, when we broke up it was so unexpected, the day before we are laughing watching tv on a casual Saturday and then the next day she's like i cant, basically runs away.... there was so much left unsaid and from others I've heard she's been trying to slander my name i guess, and warping things out to be worse than anything actually was, back to the day i texted her, she replied and said she'd prefer if i "didn't contact her again". i was crushed... i had a lot of learning and soul searching to do for myself and i had to learn to let go... a i stopped, I got help (therapy) i really wanted to make this right for myself, im not one to date around, im a long term person and i only want who i see my future with and she was that... and if that wasn't meant to be i knew i had to make sure i didn't repeat cycles with whoever else comes into my life. i didn't want these words to define me, and so for the next month and a half I've really improved and I've been significantly better, until about a few weeks ago... when we broke up she unadded me on snap chat and Instagram and all socials, didn't block just unadded, i did as well, we weren't social media posters so we didn't have any posts of us, except on her finsta (private account), which she still hasn't deleted any of the photos... anyways i decided to start posting on social media for myself and just to start enjoying lofe and be creative, and so i posted a story and she was the first to watch it... yet she doesn't follow me, she hasn't for quite a bit... i noticed it but didnt think much, again like i said she doesn't post on Instagram like ever unless on her private... now all of sudden she's posting songs on her story, songs from our playlist... quotes, photos.... it's hard not to read into it, she's the type of person to communicate her feelings through songs and messages when she cant find the words, it's how our playlist was made... anyways i sorta posted in reply, none directly on my Instagram story... she didnt watch it, until i realized she stopped watching on her main and created a new fake profile to watch it... the name of the account was a song name from a band she listened to, and i looked up the lyrics and it was hard to tell what was being said, but i read it as a question to what was happening. eventually i sorta called the profile out, i shared on my story a song saying i know you're stalking me... and she changes the name to another song name from the band and i read into that one, and it was just like, you're gone.... again nothing direct just cryptic i guess... and so then i call her out again and post the picture of the album cover on my story, at this point we were just being very direct on our stories, but we still haven't spoke. she changed the name again, and after talking to close friends they said well you don't know if it's her.... so i said okay ill test the theory, a bit unethical yes, and not my character to do this, but i wanted to be sure, so i posted a link in my bio of a letter i wrote and i put an ip tracer in it, we go to the same college so the IP for the wifi in the buildings are the same for all devices, i also tracked what device it was... and sure enough, it was her phone, the right IP and all, i don't have a lot of viewers so i hid my story from them all so it was just the account who viewed it, and only one ip... anyways after my crazy ex moment, i stopped and asked myself why i did that, to be honest i just wanted to make sure... anyways this has been going on for quite some time... i know exes tend to look at exes social media maybe out of curiosity or out of boredom or maybe because they miss you... but this is a whole situation i feel i cant escape, anytime i post something a day later she posts something similar in reply on hers. more valid proof, a friend from my school told me she was talking to someone about it and said she was watching me and she was upset because she didn't know what to do... i don't think either of us do. i want to contact her and just have a conversation, not for reasons to get together again or anything, but this is childish and we are only hurting each other, but how can i speak to her when she said not to, i know it was like over a month ago she said that but i want to show respect... so i know she would have to be the one to say something, and i know in time shell let go or take a chance but i just don't know what I should do. i stopped posting for a while because i know it was just hurting her, but then i started again but just for me not for her, just posting photography and fashion just feeling good. it's a lot sorry for this being so long i just felt i had to share it...

  • @zwpro my advice to you is, block her from your social media account. She broke up with you, and your trying to move on. Shes keeping you from moving on. She is confused and doesn't know what she wants.That in turn isnt helping you at all.

    My ex husbands sister in law made a fake profile and friended me. I thought that fake profile was a friend of my Dads from a long time ago. But she was trying to be sneaky. I figured out it was a fake profile and blocked them. She got pissed at my ex. Its very immature and winds up making you feel like your privacy has been violated.

    People like that are just being sneaky. So block her and don't waste your time on it. That's just my opinion, take it or leave it.

  • @tuliplilly from all this time, ive really just understood that this whole situation is very immature, but from circumstances i just feel its hard for to come forward with some communication or closure... she wanted me to let go, yet she won't and now we both won't... and ive tried stopping multiple times, ive went private, ive gone days with nothing... and then when i do again shes back there first to see... ive heard from friends that she has also done a lot of searching too, shes been on a journey as much as ive been, im not saying she's just doing nothing... a month before it was pure separation and silence, but after she pulls that, like if you cant say something you'll never know what could be... i have this feeling she will in time, but i the time being, i mean i guess youre right, it isn't helping me, I've been better to be honest it doesn't bother me she watches anymore and I don't send messages through my stories anymore, i just post fun things, but she still looks I don't know...

  • @zwpro i think it was easier back in the day when there wasn't social media and you could break up with someone and not see them viewing your posts. I cant imagine having someone break up with me but still be curious about my posts. Im sorry that your going through that. I wish you the best of luckโœŒ๐Ÿ˜‡

  • Oh boy, being involved with a Cancerian (romantically) can be a weird ride... A lot of indirectness.... I don't know what to say to you..... perhaps move on and don't focus on her. Do you want to get back together with her? I would stay in no contact and let her contact you and for you to move on and date other women. If she contacts you, good, if not, also good.

  • @lshtd well after being in no contact, i let alot of it go, but i still find myself drawn to her, i dont want to keep fighting it anymore and ive done alot of thinking, and i know what needs to be done for things to work if we were to get together again, i know what needs to be said, but i can tell shes in a bit of a battle with her head and heart, i have a feeling shell come and say something, but when, only time will tell.

  • @tuliplilly i get what you mean, but what also throws me off is the fact that its not casual, its not like she follows me and clicks cause its just there, we all do it from time to time... but she made a new fake account out of the 3 she had, just to search me and watch me from it, meaning she uses it for that only cause the account is just blank, no followers no following and no profile, just a name... there's no other use for it than to be sneaky and to stalk... sometimes i wonder whats going through her mind, to go through so much effort to watch a story... she was always indirect like that, but we cant just wonder the rest of our lives what could be

  • @zwpro I understand what you're saying and I can somewhat relate to your story, except that I wasn't that long together with my Cancer man.

    We dated for 6 months. When we were together it was always amazing. Two weeks ago we had a wonderful, lovely date. Laughing, being affectionate, lovely conversations, had some wine and food.

    I didnโ€™t hear from him like a week after the last time we met up. I contacted him a few times but to no avail. To cut the story short, he abruptly ended it last week.

    I'm quite in the same position as you are at the moment, except for the fact that your ex is showing interest in an indirect way.

    If she was the one who broke up I would let her contact you. What she is doing is messing you up, it might be unintentionally, but still. If she wants you back in your life she should contact you. Thats how I see it..

    It hurts I know and I feel deeply for you.

  • @lshtd thank you, i think it hurts us both, the reason she left was because she was afraid i could hurt her again ๐Ÿ˜• she couldn't believe that i could grow and learn, and because of this all im grateful, because i wasn't going to let those words define me, and ive done a lot of growing since then, but i think shes still afraid and i just wish she would see the difference, i guess maybe thats why she started watching, to ease her mind, but time can only tell.

  • @zwpro hm I understand. Have you hurt her before? They take a long time trusting someone again.. at least that is what I heard. But I don't think it's possible. Maybe you should put a time frame on it? Like if she doesn't contact you within a month, you go and contact her. If that is what you want and feel like doing, that might help? I mean.. you know best. I know it's easy for us to say block her etc, but the heart wants what it wants.. Do you want to get back with her?

    I mean I miss this cancer man terribly, but I know for a fact I won't contact him. He ended it out of nowhere. He might've been in one of his moods, or maybe I put a bit of pressure on him.. I don't know really. But he could have told me so. They can be so indecisive and also very impulsive. They react with their emotions and mostly not with logic. Cancers can be SO indirect it can be so difficult.. ๐Ÿ˜” I love cancers but also find them hard to read.

  • @lshtd i never hurt her, not intentionally, we always had our moments and we grew from them, but something triggered this time and she felt like trust had been broken but it wasn't something id ever done before... she just got scared, it has to do with a lot of past trauma, but thats why, but when we were broken up she started to believe that I was just always hurting her and that she was hurt all the time. i feel she did it to push me out because it was hard, so what logically easier way to push someone out than to think of them as someone you hate, but it hasn't worked as i can see, to answer the question, i do want to get back, ive asked myself why and i find my reasons valid and i really see a future together, we are very compatible and have a big yin and yang energy, amongst other things... and i dont wanna just let that go without trying... Cancers are hard to read but I was really good at figuring her out, but sometimes she held information from me because she was always afraid of hurting me or thinking i would somehow leave her, which I wouldnt ever.

  • @zwpro I see. Well if you want to try and work things out, why won't you send her a message? Tell her how you feel, that you would like to talk. That's the only way you can find out if she wants to try as well too. If she is the one then maybe its time to act upon it..
    Have you broken up before?

    I miss my cancer as well. He hasn't contacted me yet but itโ€™s only been a week. I really hope he reaches out soon, even though he has upset me a lot. It just felt so right between us. ๐Ÿ˜ž In his last message he said good luck and who knows we might bump into each other again.

    I have no idea what to do. I don't want to contact him because one, he broke it off and two, its only been a week. I want him to miss me.

    Anyways. What are you planning on doing? Are you going to contact her?

  • @lshtd i guess that's what I'm trying to figure out, i don't want to wait too long and have her hurt thinking i may not have loved her and that i didn't fight, but if i do i may force things to early when we might not be ready... whatever is going on, this vague social media stuff, it's immature and it's hurting us both and we clearly have questions but we both have reasons for not asking each other yet, and when is the hardest part... i guess I'll just know, but it's just a bit stressful.

    some advice for you let things settle with your ex, don't just want to be back because you want to, figure out things for you and take the time to process everything, then think about what was good and why you truly want to be in the relationship again, not just for because he made me happy... it has to be make sense and if you see that you have every right to one day share those views, but you too have to take a step back, and yes in that its possible they'll begin to miss you and maybe reach out, but don't do it all for them, do it for you and just trust... it was hard for me to let go, but then I did and it's all sorta crumbling back toward me and it's a bit overwhelming but it's something, and when i doubted anything would happen, now things seem to be happening, and i know it's all for the better.

  • @zwpro youโ€™re right. I think you should take your time and reach out when you feel like its the right moment. I don't like playing games, but it feels like these cancers do them a lot. Not sure if they are games or they just can't be direct. Good luck with figuring this out and I hope things will work out for you two!

    Cancer man contacted me today. Not sure how to feel about it. I will see. Taking it very easy now

  • @lshtd update, she started to post replies again to her story, and it was more direct and she literally said "i love you" in one post and another saying "im going to have to love you from a distance" and then samg a song about being in pain but being in love... and i guess those were her closing remarks about how she felt and then she stopped stalking the account... I don't know if that was a signal to say something, or that she was done, or that shed say something...