I'm so worried about my son, that I have to ask.....

  • Hello,I've been reading this forum for awhile and I've been a tarot.com member for 7 years.

    Yes, I'm asking for a reading. My son born on 2/22/89 at 6:28 am. east. time, is addicted to crystal meth. In a matter of 2 months time he's turned into a full blown addict. He's in another state living with his father. He is or was in the National Guard. He was doing so well and the military was going to pay for ALL of his college and it looks like he's blowing it. He keeps saying he is going to go to rehab, but hasn't and he's still using.

    Does anyone have any insight. I'm slightly intuitive, especially when it comes to my family, but I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid I may have to bury my oldest child someday.

    I hope this was not to heavy for this forum. Thank You in advance.

  • Hi. Call the police and tell them about his abuse, and that you worry about his life. Is it not their responcibility to help with that? If they put him to jail, then that could be helpful for him, he could be sent to rehab by force, dont you think? I read about an actor who had drug addictions. His dad called the police and they imprisoned him for abusing drugs. That helped him to quit and his career improved a lot after that. So I suggest you call the police on your son to save his life.

  • I have to agree with THW....I have known users of that drug and its a very ugly world that is extremely difficult to get out of. Someone else I am close to just spent some time for selling drugs and he was a user for many years of his life (almost died a couple of times from O.D. ing)...he has been clean while in prison for 2 years and I think now he may have a chance for full recovery...I can only hope. People who use do not just stop....something major needs to happen to inspire change in them.

  • BS. . . Don't call the police on your kids unless they are endangering you or those around you. They won't forget/forgive you. Meth is a drug that takes over people and it won't matter what sun/moon/any sign they are, when they get caught up in this drug, they are not who they are. But, your children are ALWAYS your children. Respect them. Believe that they will come through on their own . . . or they bloody won't. As long as you don't support their habit, that includes giving them money or letting them live with you while they continue to do drugs, then you have done nothing wrong. And if you want to be another of the 3million voices that keeps ragging on them to quit, and for SOME reason you think you can do it better, go ahead. But a person can only change when they want to, and you can't possibly know what its gonna take. Love your children UNCONDITIONALLY and try to understand, just like when we were doing a piss-poor job of raising them (no parent is perfect) they are only human and they can only do as much as they know to do. I have seen a lot of people lose it to meth. I have also seen a lot of them come thru pretty well. Have some faith. Show them what faith is.

  • Substance Abuse Crisis Threatens U.S. RetireesContinued: How His Father’s Love Helped Charlie Sheen Triumph Over Drug Addiction »September 11th, 2008

    A Father’s Love Triumphs in Charlie Sheen’s Battle Against Drug Addiction

    Actor Martin Sheen talked movingly in the July/August issue of AARP magazine about his intervention in son Charlie’s drug addiction problems. The star of TV’s hit show Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen’s drug problems had become so desperate his father had started to plan his funeral.

    Martin Sheen fought back with tough love. When Sheen was contacted about an unpaid hospital bill, he discovered Charlie had taken illegal drugs while on probation for another drug offense. He turned his son into the authorities. “This is a criminal matter,” he said. “He’d consumed an illegal substance; he was on probation; he was not allowed to have these substances. And so that was the wedge; that was the leverage I had. This is what I took to the court; that’s what I took to the sheriff. It was the only way I got him.”

    One of the toughest tasks Sheen faced in trying to help his son was to break through Charlie’s circle of enabling admirers. “The ones who were closest to him were his worst enemies,” said Sheen. “They depended on him for their living, and they would say anything and do anything.” Sheen’s tactic was to expose them as enablers of his son’s drug habit. “You never allow them to give you an excuse. You face them and you say, ‘You’re a damn liar. Get out of my face.’ You have to believe enough in life to risk your own reputation,” he said. He recounted meetings with Charlie’s drug-supplying friends in public places: “They’d want to be nice. ‘So what have I done?’ ‘You want to know what you’ve done? Anybody else want to know what this scumbag has done?’” Sheen would respond, yelling for all to hear. “What’s the alternative?” he asked. “It’s never going to happen in a calm and civilized manner. When a life is at stake and it’s your child, you become fearless in a lot of ways.”

  • This post is deleted!

  • Then I have found this one, where Charlie thanks his father in public for contacting the police to help him: http://drug-rehabcenter.com/Treatment/2008/09/12/continued-how-his-fathers-love-helped-charlie-sheen-triumph-over-drug-addiction/

    A Father’s Love Triumphs in Charlie Sheen’s Battle Against Drug AddictionReality-Based Treatment Teaches Addicts to Take Responsibility »September 12th, 2008

    Continued: How His Father’s Love Helped Charlie Sheen Triumph Over Drug Addiction

    Today we continue yesterday’s post about how actor Martin Sheen helped his son Charlie battle drug addiction. This post is based on an interview with Sheen that appeared in the July/August issue of AARP magazine.

    Sheen said he joined Al-Anon at the suggestion of a friend to learn how to cope with his son’s addiction. A recovered alcoholic himself, Sheen “got involved with AA when I was trying desperately to find a way to help Charlie, because I didn’t have any skills.” “I got sober through Catholicism, through my faith,” Sheen said. He has since joined AA to continue his own commitment to a sober life. “I didn’t know how spiritual the program was,” he said.

    Tough love was what it took for Sheen to finally help his son Charlie beat drug addiction. He had to risk his son’s wrath to tell him the truth. “The night I made the decision to go to court with the papers I’d gotten from the hospital was the most difficult decision of my life,” he admitted. He said he was still with the sheriff when deputies brought Charlie in. “I can’t repeat what he said,” remembered Sheen, “he used some choice words I’ve never heard before. And you realize that you’re talking to the drug.”

    But a father’s love for his son persevered. At the court hearing father and son embraced. Sheen said his son “knew it was over. And he was very relieved in a lot of ways that he couldn’t express.” But Sheen said he did not act for his son’s thanks but out of a father’s love and responsibility. “I did it for me. I wouldn’t carry this with me all my life. I had to do everything humanly possible. If I had come up short and lost him, I might as well be dead.”

    A year later, Sheen said he heard a reporter interviewing his son on the radio. “Charlie was clean and sober, and so now he’s off probation,” Sheen recounted. “What a jubilant moment. ‘Well,’ he [Charlie] said, ‘I want to thank my father for saving my life.’” Sheen said he wept. But he later called his son and told him, “I didn’t save your life. I got your attention. You saved your life. Because if you go on believing that I saved your life, you’re not going to take responsibility for it.”

  • Hi, A lot of people have major problems with the drug. A lot of people also can not quit on their own. A think a lot of substance abuse is genetic. Anyway, if you fear for his life, why don't you commit him to rehab. This doesn't necessarily mean that he'll quit, may take several times. You go to the hospital and do a voluntary committal. I don't know if you have to outright call the police. I had to do this last Spring for someone. They had to admit that they were suicidal to get in. Where they suicidal--no but the drug and alcohol was leading that way. Meth is the worst. I don't know where he's at. He may not be willing. If not, you need to talk gently and convincingly to him.

  • A lot of people have given good advice. I do not agree that you should call the police on him because I know all to well how having that record can make moving on with your life after your mistakes extremely hard from personal experience. You want him to be able to find productive employment and housing when he is sober and having a record will hinder that. Plus, in jail you will not get the support you should get from others while trying to stay clean especially if it is overpopulated like many of our jails in the U.S. are. This is my opinion. I do agree that you can not enable and if you are not, you also need to try and convince his father not to enable. He needs to make it so that he can not get his drugs too. If then he is on the street, he will either realize he needs to make a change or keep living like this until he is forced to make one. If you have tried your hardest and have been loving and patient and understanding, that is the best you can do. You can suggest and tell and threaten but as others have said, he has to want to change more than anything. And when he does, he will need support from family, friends, and others going and who have gone through what he has too. He is young and he has not been an addict for long so this is a positive way to look at things, recovery may be a bit easier. And he will need counseling to help him deal with why he is using. There is always something deeper within that needs to be dealt with. I hope you and your family can stick together during this hard time. Tell him that you love him but you are not going to lend a helping hand in his death. If he wants to get help, you will be there all the way, but if not, you can only say you will pray and hope he comes around. And since he is in the military, maybe you can call them and find out if they have programs for his situation. They probably do, that are confidential and most likely paid for by the government. Find out the consequences of his being an admitted drug addict and if they are not to severe, report him to his superiors (or whoever is appropriate) and ask for their help in getting him into a program or something along those lines. This is my opinion but I hope it helps. My heart goes out to you, stay strong, I know you can.

    Universal Harmony

  • II agree w/ Universal Harmony. Have the Military look into it. I would not put those thoughts out there of burying your son either.

    There are many many recovering addicts. Get him to a meeting if possible as far as I understand there are many just about everywhere. Usually they have to hit bottom but if he can see how others lives have been destroyed and how bad it can get before he hits his bottom. I would recommend you get help for your own well being also. Support system family, alanon, church however it looks for you.

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