a cancer man stopped pursuing me!

  • Hello. So recently I’ve met a cancer male online and we’ve only been communicating as friends. I never reached out to him but he would always be friendly enough to reach out to me. I think this was my way of testing the waters and trying to not appear clingy in a way. My moon sign is scorpio so that would make sense. But after becoming more comfortable with him, we started getting in short arguments. He doesn’t tell me much and is really confusing, so we began having many misunderstandings. The only reason why I feel like he doesn’t tell me anything is because it’s gotta be some sort of insecurity. Maybe he’s scared of rejection if he reveals too much? So I accepted that in a way, but he literally explains things in metaphors and would get upset because I asked “What he meant”. Like he just makes up metaphors and expects me to understand.. and as a pisces sun, scorpio moon, and leo rising, i really want to get what’s going on. So I would banter with him in a joking way, which led to him actually getting mad and saying something hurtful. Our recent conversation, he pointed out how “I acted special” and that kinda hit. Like I thought I actually meant something to him if he was constantly hitting me up, but then.. I must have misunderstood everything. Without showing it, I lowkey got attached and that made me feel stupid. He does have a girlfriend, so nothing was really flirty, but if you consider my sun/moon/rising signs, you can see how, even without me liking him, could construe my jokes as a way of flirting. I liked feeling in control of the conversation, so when we had misunderstandings I felt uncomfortable having to be vulnerable. It kinda scarred my pride. So push comes to shove and after our last conversation, we haven’t talked.
    It started when he basically said that he usually carries the conversation and that without him, there wouldn’t be one, so me “messing” around, i basically say that “without me, it wouldn’t be fun” led by “that’s why you’re here, right?” He then beat around the bush a lot, being confusing as always, which i assume was his pride, and he mentioned that “he didn’t have to talk to me” “but he gets better results from our conversation.”
    yeah wtf. So though he did like talking to me, I feel like I wasn’t really important. So instead of being mad, I felt bad for taking a lot of things differently. Our conversation didn’t end on a bad note, but it wasn’t a good one either. He didn’t respond to my last message and it appeared he went MIA. This was lowkey a good thing for my stress level, and I was kinda chillin with it. I was just hopping he was okay cause, like I said, he doesn’t tell me anything about him.
    But a couple days ago, I get a message from him that says “*myname?” which I open thirty minutes later. Once I unlock my phone, it’s gone, and he deleted it. I ask him if he said something, and he said he didn’t. So I left it at that.
    Sorry that was a lot lol, but I’m just stupidly caught up with this. It’s not bothering me as much as before, but there’s just something strange about all of this. Like he’s usually really active on this platform we’re on but all of a sudden he kinda went off grid. Idk if he’s going through something, or if I did something.. But clearly he took back his message for a reason.. I’m not sure if he wants me to reach out first, but I just can’t find myself doing that after where our previous conversation left off. If he comes back, we’ll probably fight again, but I liked having him around.. I understand cancer’s usually don’t like confrontation so it’s like our talks are always left unfinished. Do any cancer’s understand what’s going on? I didn’t really take cancer’s for having a lot of pride, but maybe just stubborn..? Helppp.

  • Are you wishing to keep this guy around because you actually LIKE him or just to stop yourself from being alone? They are two different problems with two different solutions.

  • @thecaptain If I wasn’t fine without him I think that would mostly relate to loneliness, but I don’t think that’s the case. I liked talking to him and having him around as a friend, but we’ve had too many misunderstandings and confusion between us for me to say I LIKE him; I would use the term interested. I was more at the stage of caring to get to know him, so it’s like I’m left just wondering about many things. Like I mentioned, I seriously know nothing about him.

  • Cancer men are notorious for this sort of behaviour and it usually means that he doesn't want to commit to you, likely because you don't resemble his mother closely enough.. That is who he is really looking for - a mother.