Reconnecting online

  • What can you make out of this?

    35 years later, I reconnect with a crush I had in HS. He was 16 I was 14. Our feelings for each other at that time was there but never had the chance to be articulated.. or else it would have been another Romeo and Juliet love story where our parents were concerned. We shared a few moments together, a few sweet dances at school and a walk home.

    He eventually left for college. Surprisingly, he and his family moved to a house shared by a a former classmate of mine. She was the sweetest thing and when she wrote me that this guy was the cutest, I just presumed that they were going out together. End of my fantasies of him Life went on.

    However, there was this last dance that if I went back to it in my memory would be so intense...and the song we danced to when I heard it over the years would so remind me of that dance...and I kept that memory.

    In college, I eventually found out, he had never had a girl friend. He used to watch a movie over and over again about young love which reminded him so much for me and his awkward teenage moments. He never had a girl friend while in college for some reasons.

    I had relationships, but never found the one that I connected emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I was not in a hurry to marry but eventually did with someone (cancer) whiom I shared such intense physical connection.

    Anyway, after 35 years we reconnected online through our school website. In less than a week,

    we were both emotional wrecks... expressing feelings that we were not able to express when we were younger and trying to fill in the years we were apart/

    When I sent my picture... he realized that his wife and I had almost the same eyes...

    When I sent him my husbands picture.... there was also the strong resemblance.

    His marriage is a mess; mine is fine. We communicate almost everyday IM ;he calls every other week, we are half way the world from each other... we share a supportive friendship... after realizing that the complications./responsibilities in our respective lives wont allow us to live our fantasies of being together...the way we want it to be.

    he makes me happy.. but sometimes, I just want to let go and get a dose of cold water splashed on my face. we both came back to each other's lives as if on cue... like how souldmates are meant to meet. Lately, he is going through so many challenges in almost all directions of his life... maybe the reason we've reconnected... for me to be here as a friend.

    we are both pisces.

    surprisingly, important men in my life are either cancer or pisces.

  • What ever he's going through just be there for him as a friend. Or do you think being his friend is a distraction to him and he's not able to handle it. Just remeber your marriage is fine.

  • I think everybody goes through the question of the ages, that of "I wonder if..." Certainly, we all have had people leave footprints in our hearts...some short term, some long term. It's easier to picture the grass greener on the other side...until you get to that side, and realize it really doesn't seem that much different--or better--than where you once were and had abandoned. My ex, a fellow Leo, pulled that on me, and he was miserable. Of course, he was in love with me, panicked, and took off. The girl he is with now he is not in love with, and was texting me, etc., on and off for months. I eventually told him off.

    Your case is slightly different, in that your "soul mate," if you will, is not with you, and you never really got an adult chance to see what it would be like to be with him. We always want what we can't have, but you are married and seemingly happy. There is a high price in taking the risk to check out another pasture, because if you find it isn't all it's cracked up to be, you will go back to your original pasture, perhaps to find it dried up and all hay. Then you're left with nothing.

    I'd say that we sometimes are better off as friends to someone. Life is hard enough that finding someone you really understand, feel for and bond with, is hard to come across. Both of you should be happy you at least have someone to talk to. Just make sure you maintain integrity in your boundaries of marriage, and make sure you're like a fish bowl--nothing kept hidden.

    As for you seeming to end up with Cancerians and Pisceans, no surprise. Both are sensitive, dreamy-type people. I could tell by how you flutter about, dreaming and wondering in your writing, that you'd have a sign like that...and moreover, attract fellow ones.

  • I've been going through similiar fate, I have no idea why they come in and out like this, creates total emotional havoc. I'm still searching for the reasons, if I find any I'll let you know. Sometimes I wonder even if life is good, no issues, if we still long for a moment like we had with that person, just to feel that intensity again, feel young, and have all the choices still there, except with the added knowledge of what we know now too, so we don't take it for granted as much, its frustrating not being able to go back, I guess.

  • I think you really mean it when you wish for a cold splash of water to bring you back to reality. So here it is.You are emotional enough on your own without jamming the curcuits with someone twice as emotional as you! Attraction is not the only reality--but you know that. You say your marraige is fine yet you are putting it in harms way by these thoughts of the grass being greener and what ifs. Think about it, what do you really know about this man? Your relationship and his character can not be tested or proven by e-mail or phone calls. Be careful. Avoid getting emotionaly tangled with some one who could surprise you in ways you never expected. You need to find out more about his past relationships. You are a smart woman. Ask him the questions you've been holding back--the ones that might burst this feel good bubble and let the cold shower begin.

  • Listen to Blmoon, I think their right on target about my situation too.

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