How To Read Someone's Personality

  • Article by Kone Koenig

    Here are my 10 points for determining a person’s real personality. Please consider that these points are generalities, not absolutes; exceptions to these points are of course possible, but if a person is found wanting in many of these areas, he/she may be a difficult person to have a lasting and meaningful relationship with.

    1. Observe how the person responds during periods of stress. Do they get angry, verbally lash out or even physically lash out? Do they get worked up and lose control? In contrast, do they remain unperturbed, relatively calm, and keep control of his/her words? A sign of emotional maturity is the ability to work through stress and conflict with emotions under control.

    2. Observe how the person treats subordinates. Do they treat them with respect, saying “thank you” and encouraging them, or do they treat them like pseudo-slaves? Do they tip food service workers generously? Do they hold open the door for strangers? If they treat subordinates poorly, they regard themselves as superior to others, and is likely insensitive to the needs of other people.

    3. Observe how they treat their mother and father. Do they have a loving and respectful relationship with them, or are they distant and uninvolved? If they don't have a close relationship with their parents, that’s a concern. In general, how a son treats his mother is likely how he will treat his wife. Likewise, a daughter’s relationship with her father may be indicative of how she will relate to her husband. (Of course, this question presupposes they have a mentally healthy set of parents, deserving of a respectful and close relationship. Sadly, this may not be the case in some families. And in cases of abuse or chronic mistreatment by parents, it is incumbent upon adult children to emotionally detach from such parents in order to optimize their own mental health.)

    4. Observe the person while they're driving a car. Are they in control emotionally or are they angry, impatient, often cursing, and disrespectful. People often exhibit split personalities when behind the wheel. If a person drives like they selfishly own the road with little disregard for other vehicles, this is also how they will likely treat others in interpersonal relationships. If they get angry, curse, blare the horn, or make obscene gestures, and this happens regularly, it’s a sign of an immature, selfish person.

    5. Observe how they talk about others when these people are not around. Are they talking negatively about them, putting them down, verbally stabbing them in the back? If so, they’ll likely do the same to you when you’re not around.

    6. When in a conversation, do they brag about themselves and center the conversation around and about them? If so, they're likely self-centered and arrogant.

    7. Are they honest in the little things of life, or do they tell frequent white lies or outright lies? If they can’t be trusted with the small things, they also can’t be trusted with the big things. A person’s integrity is revealed in how honest they are. A frequent liar lacks personal responsibility for their words and actions, and will also lie to you as well.

    8. Do they look you in the eyes and say “I’m sorry” when they're wrong? If they're always unapologetic, even when they're clearly wrong, they’re full of pride and likely extremely insecure.

    9. Do they have varied interests? A person who does not read books, does not follow the news, and sees little point in the lifetime pursuit of knowledge will become “boring” over time. I believe an engaging and interesting person has an inquisitive and engaging mind, and that person always seeks to understand themselves better and their world as well.

    10. Observe how polite a person is in everyday life. Are they courteous? Do they treat people with common courtesy? Do they regard the feelings of others with respect or disdain? If they treat others like they wish to be treated, then they will treat you likewise.

    These 10 points reveal different aspects of a person’s personality. They reveal defects in personality, weaknesses, and strengths. Taken together, I believe these 10 points give a valid insight into a person’s true personality. But the ultimate test for anyone is what your gut feelings are telling you. These can be relied on 100% of the time if you are in touch with your intuition. Try strengthening your intuition by noticing your first reaction when meeting strangers. Or try tuning in to your family or friends if you sense something not quite right with them.

  • This is really amazing. Human personalities are complex. Even if we live 20-30 years with a person does not mean that we are aware of all his traits. One thing that I observed is if a person has a strong connection with GOD, then his connection with others is also good. Sometimes ups and downs of life also change person in one way or in few ways. So nice post 🥰...

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