Can I get a Cancer Man back by being friends



  • My husband is a cancer and wants a divorce because I didn't appreciate him. He says he wants to be friends and is always there for me when i need him. We have 2 children together and I am desperate to gain his trust and love back. If we begin to be friends what are my chances that we will find love again if I give him everything he needs this time around? It was all my fault, I was stupid, and now I need help. Please give me advice.



  • No one?



  • I think you should stop blaming yourself...What you are doing is making excuses for him/the situation....probably to give yourself hope. Sorry Femscorp2000 for being so blunt. I'm sure you if you back track a little bit and try to think as logically as possible about what led to things being this way...you may find some answers. Maybe by doing that you can come up with a solution. BUT never forget that if you are going to make changes to yourself to be doing it for you and not specifically for someone else...otherwise those changes might be fleeting.

    I don't know if you and him talked about giving it another go, or if he was willing to, but if you 2 decide to do that I think you should just get a little bit of space first to sort things out in your minds. Maybe you should talk about doing that. Maybe don't go through with any paperwork yet. Just get some space first so that you can both see where you want to be...and make sure its mutual.

    Don't push him...give him the space he needs to get his thoughts straight. I have seen this before. Sometimes when someone is needing space, we don't understand why they don't want to be around us and we start feeling very vulnerable and needy..then we start trying to force things...and that just pushes the person away more.

    Has he told you exactly what it was you did (in his mind) that pushed him to this point (again, it takes 2) ?



  • ok, first...please remember that you can never give anyone all that they need. This is their responsibility to do that just as it is yours.

    Cancers...interesting creatures. They 'appear' to not care and be aloof. But this is so far from the truth. They are the most sensitive of the signs. Hurts don't just hurt these spirits, it cuts to the bone. Emotions are so hard for them to manage and remain in balance with because they do feel things so deeply. No one will quite understand this except for another cancer.

    Healing & trust, not matter what the situation and who it is takes time and patience.

    All I can tell you is to focus on the self. Admit and take ownership for your part to yourself. Work through all the crap within the self. Release and find forgiveness within the self. This does not define you as a person, it simply tells a story about where you have been!

    Remain in your placce of truth, walk your talk and live in intergrity. Pray for love, peace, and comfort for your husband.

    Remember that you are loved and not alone.

    Namaste

    Summerotter



  • Thank you for your kind comments.



  • it sounds to me like he is making excuses and its easier to blame you then accept responsibility for his choices. No two people are perfect in a relationship. Try to see if having him as your friend will benefit you or hurt you even more. If you have children staying civil with each other is necessary but being friends that share personal information is not. Be careful with your own heart and your needs. You may want to talk to someone professionaly so you can work thorugh your grief. Sorry for your loss.



  • did he come back to you as your man?



  • indeed,it does take two...but youve stung him to the quick and he simply doesnt want to rehash the past.let him have his space but know he will not come back to you as the same person he once was.you are evolving in two seperate directions at this time however everything does come full circle.you can not control another human being nor manipulate the behavior of others to satisfy your needs.he does still have love for you but it is though history,and no longer a romantic love,but a more mature love. if you can be satisfied with a friendship,a less intense version of what once was,you can still maintain a close relationship with him.only time will tell if this relationship will truly heal.He will be cautious for some time to come but take heart,he will always be there for you.As Summerotter stated so wisely,learn to forgive yourself for your part in this and do be gentle with who you are.its the right of every human being to make mistakes just as it is our right to learn from them.Peace and love to you



  • I agree. please dont blame yourself. I am a Cancer man, and I am tough on the people around me. I am also very tough on myself. You need to figure out what is wrong with your Cancer man, there is something in his life he is not happy with. You are not responsible for that. What he is searching for is someone to slap him and tell him what he needs to change. If you want him to fix himself, he will do it. If you coddle him, he will take everything you have. We are rediculous I know, you just have to force us to realize it. Also, Cancer men cant be friends. If you reach our soft center, we cant let you be a simple part of our lives. If You are in that zone, please realize how much sway you have in his life. We need direction. If you give him that, he will appreciate you. Firm, strong, convicted.....do it.



  • thank you fro the advice Passionatecancerguy. And I would not be able to just be friends with the cancer man I love. My entire being is pulled toward him like a magnet.



  • I get the distinct feeling there is more to the story than you are letting on, (that's okay though) 😉 Things will get figured out. Will take some time and he will need some space to lick his wounds. And PassionateCancerGuy is SPOT on when he says Cancer guy can't just be friends, especially when he has let you "into that zone." So much time and energy has been dedicated by the Cancer to let you in...so much time and energy on YOUR part to get into that trusted spot. Again, let TIME do it's job here which will allow things to settle down a bit, and the different influences involved will make themselves known so that the BEST possible choices can be made.

    ~Best wishes



  • Exactly...what people let on is not telling sll sll the time snd decision is logic and reason, hey its them not us in the relationship. the reslity is in their face not ours......the other person is clearly not here on the forum so how can anyone tasp into their energy to tell you about them if they have not given us acceptance to do so? Otherwise that is black magic, really! Also intuition is part of judgment and we also do not know what there reall inside is saying, and are they lying to self?>

    I am a sag....There are so many ways our mind can justify and analogize a horoscope to our lives...Its so funny how horoscopres are so vague! Vagueness allows ou to tie it to almost anything! Zodisc signs too. The of course we have Vedic astro and that tells you you are another sun sign in exact using your time of birth! So we have two sun signs? HAHA....I am nothing to a sag I am Holly. I have so many qualities that are defines as a libra. I love diplomatic debate and balance. I love beauty and am attracted to it, arnt we all? Are we all not liberal on some topic? Even a cancer and pisces I have met many! Alot of them are sooo chatty and verbally agressive! I met because I the sag who supposivly does not like being tied down either !!!lol haha I am in the military tied down to a unit for one year! I met three aqwuarian men who are the oppostion to 90% of what the LMAO zodiac says. Because I have evolved with no parents I have been out in the world at a young age and met so many potential male partners and friends....the astro thing proves bunk and really how sad! Isnt it more real!, if we actually cared to get to know the real person in front of us by listening and taking it one step at a time but people who NEED and desire for selfish reasons want to know HOW CAN I GET!! wrong...let the righ one come to you..let it attract...if you alter or act in the manner of what you think will GET him or her that is selfish and not true to your higher self..its an act to catch a person which is selfish...what is best for that person is what will be with that person. What is best and balanced TRUTHFULLY will be the balance. If you truly can love then you will be your true self and accept that your true self may or may not be what the other person deserves for a divine union...Acceptance of your self and the other but in order to do that desperation cannot be in the equation....First you have to be content alone a developed mind body soul and happyness you have created..if you cannot be happy with yourself what happiness can you bring to a relationship other than the physical? The physical last for what maybe 6 months? You will not attract anything more than that ubtil you have happiness and contentness mind body soul in consistance....

    Take care


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