Cancer boyfriend needs “to be alone”
My boyfriend is a Cancer(July 9) and I’m a Leo (August 6). We’ve been dating for 9 months, which i know isn’t much time, but since we met last October, we have basically spent every day and every hour possible together since. He’s introduce me to his family and mine even considers him part of ours—he even got invited to my sisters wedding. We’ve had tough times where we fought over stupid things that didn’t matter, usually because I’m hard headed, and then we get over them and are fine. The hard part is that last Friday I was being petty over something stupid and he came to talk to me, AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS HAPPY TO SEE HIM, I remained upset over stupid things I didn’t want to talk. Granted I had a bad day, but if I had known that when he left he was going to tell me that he thinks we should break up because neither of us are happy (which isn’t true) and then ignore me until the next day, I would change everything. We talked for hours the next day and I tried to convince him that if we communicated better we wouldn’t have any issues but he said that he doesn’t think we would change because we’ve said it before and never did. He kept apologizing and saying he loves me and that it hurts but he thinks being alone and not worrying about our relationship might be what he needs. A couple hours later he called me to see if I was okay and told me he loved me and hated himself for doing this to me. He said he doesn’t want to get my hopes up but that we should not talk for a while and maybe see if things change. Then he said “I’ll talk to you later” and we hung up. It’s only been four days but it pains me so much to see him on campus and not get to run up to him and give him a hug and kiss. I’m so scared that he’s going to give up on us when we wouldn’t even have broken up if I would have just talked to him on Friday...
I’m certain he’s the one. He’s the only person I’ve ever felt comfortable sharing my whole self with. I’ve never talked to a person about the future or having a family because tbh I didn’t see it in my future, but with him I do.
Right now I’ve convinced myself that I’m going to call him on Saturday and tell him that I respect if he needs more time, but if he’s willing to I’d like to meet up and talk because I honestly can’t stand another minute not being with him but I also don’t want to push him away if I have a chance. I’m just so scared
The mistake I made in this scarily similar situation is to genuinely give them space. My girlfriend and I broke up 2 days ago because I was so over worried about her and she needed a lot of space and I couldn't give it to her, of course there were other things we went through but I've learned a cancer may sometimes need some time alone to figure things out.
Leomegs, a love affair here can be romantic, involving deep emotional interaction and exciting and often risky activities. Your BF will likely feel most comfortable at home, but may yearn for projects that will sweep him off his feet or whisk him away on a magic carpet. You may be just the opposite, spending your time breaking down barriers and reaching new heights of achievement, but all the while dreaming of a warm fire and a comfortable bed. An ideal arrangement for the two of you would be to spend long periods first at home and then elsewhere, perhaps passing one part of the year in your own city or country and another part away or abroad. The more activities you can share, the better: both a love affair and marriage will tend to be most successful when the two of you are also engaged in a shared career endeavour, like a business, or some other type of activity/project.
This relationship has two distinct sides, and its energies oscillate between them - between light and dark, outer and inner, intuition and emotion. Little attempt is made to tone down these contrasts or to arrive at a compromise or synthesis. Understanding the wide swings imposed by the relationship’s pendulum-like nature, and learning to go with its flow, will go far toward creating peace here. Your BF will have an easier time of it; unconventional in nature, he may even enjoy the relationship’s variety. You, on the other hand, have a strong need for balance (though you can get bored with routine). You will tense up in this relationship, resisting its natural viability and creating the potential for conflict. Advice: Find your real needs and satisfy them - don’t settle for less than the best for yourself. Unify some of the different areas in your lives. Let go and let it flow.
Your BF can have some very high expectations of relationships. But he will give a lot to those he loves. However he does need to be loved and appreciated himself in return and will become withdrawn and disillusioned if he doesn't get it. He wants a romantic partner who shares his curiosity and who comes from a different background or lifestyle to his own as he looks for variety and contrast.
You Leomegs have an unquenchable interest in others and the ability to make them feel special. You can be sensual and passionate as well as reliable and kind, but your intensity (which can turn into obsessiveness) can become wearing. It is important for you to understand that laughter, fun, silence and just chilling out with the person you love are a crucial part of keeping a relationship spontaneous and alive.
@zwpro cancers are known to be homebodies and they like time to do their own thing. So you have to learn to be independent and give them a lot of space or they will feel trapped and stressed. Trust me I know my bf is a cancer.
lshtd last edited by
@leomegs how's your situation now?
If you are feeling scared in a relationship, something is wrong. You should be feeling happy.