Jayann last edited by Jayann
03/2019 was 16 years since the medical professional diagnosed me with an incurable medical condition. Every aspect of my life has to be planned by me so that things work effectively and efficiently. I never know what is going to happen physically. All I know is things are getting worse.
09/09/2019 was the anniversary of when an employee actions destroyed my life with her narcissistic manipulative behaviour. Since then I have has to live with the consequences .
The last week in October will be a year since suddenly without reason I started thinking about an ex boyfriend.
15/12/18 joined Tarot.com forums
This website has been a godsend, While things which written have not always been bright, upbeat and what I want to hear; they have been said with sincerely . Thank you for your time, skill and abilities especially for the quizzes which I use as tools to motivate me and think.
This pass year has been hell so what do you see for the future?
Thank you all.
Blmoon last edited by
I am getting an unusual reply to this as I am hearing that you may not get this but there is a circle of 3 around you and this answer resonates for another reading this. The two events are tied and it is no coincidence to let go of one distraction that binds you only to engage in another. Victim mode happens to all of us in our journey. It is a helpless place were we feel we have no control over our circumstance. Early in our progression feeling helpless or on the defensive in our life is a common hurdle to get over . The toxic job situation was handed to you to understand your patterns of attraction and your ability to escape and create. You gave that relationship power over you and if you can let go of feeling that person's assaults you can then concentrate on how YOU got yourself there., People who look ahead with the mindset of being attacked by life in general will indeed get more. The key reason you would stick to a very draining power sucking relationship in a job when you had no skills yet to protect yourself is no coincidence with your x dreams. You traded one distraction for another. You were addicted to that power of failure over you and when it ended you would have had to sit ALONE with yourself a long while to do some healing work. Most people move to that next stage tired and dragging their feat. But I get someone reading this is ready to claim their power, forgive their flaws, let go of regret and claim their power. To be FEARLESS facing a new way of moving forward. Who ever you are BLESSINGS!
Jayann last edited by
Thank you for taking the time to create this brilliant and thoughtful reply.
Andidilly last edited by
Blmoon, I am trying to connect with my fearlessness in moving forward, in work and relationships. It’s been a tough road lately, I want to “see myself with clarity”
I see how I’ve always held myself back, and created my own trauma by self imposed limitations. I’m trying to access that inner wisdom, that “knowing” and know what “it” feels like. So I can follow that wisdom/guidance and hopefully never feel fearful again. I have noticed lately how having any fear in any decision in life actually throws off the good balance that our souls are wanting to cultivate, like our soul knows there’s nothing to be afraid of, and is trying to guide us to that infinite abundance we can all tap, yet our mind and ego is in the way saying, “well do you want to be alone forever? or what if you lose all your assets by taking this chance, or you didn’t do that great of a job. my mind says stuff like maybe I’m not good enough to be doing what I’m doing, because I failed at something or made a mistake. Make sense?
A couple things I’ve recently been aware of.... You ever read any books by Gavin debecker? One is called the gift of fear, it’s been on my mind a lot, and I’ve really noticed how the only time fear is of true assistance is when a person is actually in real danger, say an attack from another being or animal. The 2nd thing I became aware of- I really love the comedian Dave Chappelle, I like watching his old stuff on youtube.. anyway, I came across some of his first stand ups, and he wasn’t that good at all! I laughed so hard to myself, because I thought to myself what a cliche, but so very true, he just pushed right on through, didn’t give up on his “knowing”, his dream, to be one of the greatest comedians. And he’s awesome now! it just made me realize that I really allow my mistakes to cause me to shrink, to feel unworthy, and I question myself or many things. But since I have noticed this, I told myself no more! I am moving forward with a roar, I will lose these inabitions and this soul sucking fear, and I don’t care if it brings me to the edge of insanity or the edge of a financial cliff, or the edge of whatever... anyway, thanks, this resonated with me! Hugs to you as you move through your recovery, I am sending love to your body!