First love returns!
My first love re-connected with me online after 36 years and when we're both married to someone else. Past hurts and betrayal sorted out on my end and we just felt like picking up the pieces where we left off but no commitments. We're now in speaking terms daily thru emails since we're based in different parts of the world! The feelings I had for him back then seems to be back and so with him but we don't want to rock the boat due to our current commitments. I'm torn and helpless and don't want to break up each other's families but don't want to lose him and our special friendship altogether. His DOB is May 19, 1960 and mine is August 22, 1959. Is there a chance for our love to last the distance and overcome all the trials or just give up on us being together romantically? Please help coz we might not have the true love we both deserve if we make the wrong decision...I'm lost and heart-broken!!!
This situation I'm in is like getting caught between the devil and the deep blue sea! It may not be sanctioned by society but it just feel so right and seemed we're meant to fulfill our long lost love despite the pain of losing it to youthful arrogance and insecurities...i hope someone can make a reading of what lies ahead for both of us...it's so confusing and unthinkable to let go this time but fate must have brought us back together again...
I recently reconnected with my "first love" after 32 years. My advice to you is to be realistic about where you are in life and what your feelings really are about your partners. The excitement of finding that old connection is intoxicating. (In my case we don't have spouses, but I have young children and he does not). There was an inexplicable sense of urgency to find out what we still had between us. It was easy for us to pursue that without spouses to consider.
The reality? We are very good friends with some great memories, but the decades changed us. Much was still the same, but many important aspeccts of our characters had changed. Life changes us and that's as it should be. Take it slow and do not risk any great sacrifices of your present situations unless you are absolutely certain this is what you want. It may be that you are both simply bored with years with the same partner and caught up in the emotional excitement right now. You know that "high" is not reality, it is fleeting. It took two months and two weekends (he and I are also far apart) before my "first love" and I just admitted, "ya know what, I'm really not feeling it here like I thought I did". There is no substitute for reality. E-mails and phone calls can lead you down a path of illusion.
I hope someone will give you a reading to give you some additional insight. I know quite well that you have a lot on your mind here. Good luck to you!
Thanks somuch Jenever7...and your wise words had made me realize the difference between illusions and reality. I've always thought that I'm more in love with the idea of being in love and he was my first ideal love that was not consummated due to our foolish pride! I wondered what could have been had we fought for our love then? I'm really having a tough time in my marriage and could have left a long time ago if not for my children and the health of my husband. I thought I wasn't able to open my heart again to any man after my traumatic first love experience! I put all the blAME ON HIM WHICH i EXPRESSED in no uncertain terms in one of my emails to him. Yes, I agree that face-to-face communication with him will be able to resolve the confusion and chaos within us. I'm taking things slowly now and I could also feel his sudden brake from the euphoria of it all! I think, inner healing is the key coz 'm really a wounded soul and to be able to forgive him will eventually lead to my own liberation from victimization and self-pity. I also honor your wisdom and experience having been there and done that! I'd still be waiting for a psychic reading by any of the certified gurus to guide me in my future decision. I've got not much left years on me to be able to experience what true love is...and I don't want to miss this chance the second time around after making a fool of myself for so long and living in denial! I'm a cancer survivor and just starting to live all over again and I want to make sure I won't commit the same mistakes I've made in the past. Thanks again and be blessed!
You are very welcome Angela. Since no one else has come along with a reading for you, I will give you a little one (hoping that someone still will show up who can give you a more extensive reading). I've read Tarot cards for many years now. I just pull the cards and tell you what they mean, I don't speculate much, simply listen for the messages in the cards. Honestly, I was very surprised by what came up. I did a very simple spread, one card for past, present and future followed by the "shadow" card which shows sort of underlying influences or background to the situation.
The past card is the 4 of Cups. This indicates that there was love but for some reason it was passed by. No one would accept it. Everything was there for you but something in you (or him, both?) held back. There was no effort to move things forward, apathy, you were both concerned more with yourselves than each other.
In the present I got the 8 Strength. I like this because you are a Leo and the picture on the card shows a woman taming a lion. "Taming the beast" so to speak. It's about understanding, patience and compassion. You told him how hurt you were over things in the past, now release that and focus on the feelings of the present. Don't drag up the past and let it color the present, be honest about your feelings right now.
The "coming into being" card is the one that threw me for a loop because I didn't really expect it . It is the 2 of Cups. I love this card because it shows a couple sharing the cup of love and kindness. Whether or not it means a lifelong relationship such as marriage is never certain, but it tells me that you and your first love do indeed share something significant and that you will overcome the negative issues between you to strike a balance and an enduring companionship whether as friends or perhaps more. It's about striking a truce as well, letting bygones be bygones - forgiveness. I think it's wonderful to see this card for your situation. I think that if you find it in yourself (that Strength) to forgive him and be open to just letting a new relationship evolve - let the past be water under the bridge - you two will have something new together. Where that will go, who can say, things are constantly changing, but you clearly have a bond that is worth nurturing even if at a purely friendly level. There is something between you that is for sure.
The shadow card reinforces this. It is 19 the Sun. Contentment, things set to rights, enlightenment and happiness. Seeing the light!
Wow, I feel really good about this Angela. Please try to relax and let the past go. Don't dwell on what the future will bring either. Just go along here for a while in openess and honesty. Don't go rushing into anything and see what happens. You two seem to connect well together, so if this is something deep and lasting, together you will work through it and bring about whatever your relationship is meant to be. Use the strength of patience at this time to keep you balanced. I'm smiling here because you are obviously a woman who has been through much, but you do radiate strength and the cards show very good things in store. But as I say, no final answers, things will evolve and change and only you and he can determine where things flow. I'd love for you to come back after some time passes and let me know how things have gone.
Anyway, humble as it may be compared to the kinds of readings others here offer, there it is! If you want a more in depth reading I'd suggest starting a thread for either the Captain or Hans. Both are very insightful, but their styles are very different. Read through some existing threads to see which one you most resonate with. You might also just do what others do, start a thread just saying "Can anyone give me a reading me" and see who comes along.
Wishing you all the best Angela!
Wow...was I impressed Jenever7! And thanks for the time and effort you've made to help out! First of all, my apologies for not checking this out coz got so busy with my further training and then got bogged down with a terrible flu and still recovering...talking about the psychosomatic
signs of a troubled spirit, hahaha! Now my honest opinion about your reading on my situation? It was pretty accurate and you're able to get the gist of what really happened to a once great love ruined by my wounded pride and unforgiveness! He has been coming back to me ever since when we're still single but the bitterness always get the better of me and I just want to punish him for hurting me and couldn't bring myself to accept him back into my life. I have abandonment issues from my father so it really was a big factor for me then and had treated my other lovers with ruthlessness once I feel betrayed and disrespected. I thought I won't let myself be done in again by any other male chauvinists looking for some unsuspecting preys! Not me, so I thought. My heart was frozen and has been trained to be on guard and never to trust any man again for as long as I live. It was a lonely and tiring journey trying to look for LOVE which I myself is not capable of giving to anyone for fear of rejection and abuse. I thought, I was done with him...so next victim please! Until my desire for revenge was satisfied. I always thought I was a forgiving person because I was able to forgive my dad, but I only realized lately that I was fooling myself! Hence I tried to reconnect with him when his friend tried to contact me and gave me his email addie. And now that I've opened my heart to him again...the second time around, I am still in pain for what I've done to him and our love! I realized how patient he had been in trying to show me his regrets and devotion through all the years that had passed! Maybe not in so many words, but still hoping and waiting for that enchanted time to be together and celebrate our love. I'm totally heart-broken because now I also realized the stress he must be going through knowing that in trying to revive our most cherished love, so many innocent lives will be crushed, though no fault of theirs. How anti-climactic to such a great love story...then why did fate let us meet again only to be disappointed and be guilt-ridden throughout the whole ordeal? Despite of it all, I have more reasons to celebrate having found my one and only great love, which has never left me after all. It was just buried in the deep recesses of my heart only to be set free. To have loved and lost, is consoling enough. Now, I can truly say that to have loved, lost and found it again pulsating with the same fervor and intensity just like the first time is more than I could ever hope to receive from the universe! I've always thought that I don't deserve to be happy, that I'm not worthy of such great love but it was a lie I had convinced myself into believing. The readings you made described how I felt really though we never talked along these lines and keeping things in the right perspective, until we meet again in person. He wanted me to go back to our country and meet him later this year instead of next year, sensing his urgency to resolve those nagging doubts about our future together...what else? I'm taking my time as you suggested, for fear of what the future will bring and manifest before us! He has been silent and not communicating with me on line, but it's good for both of us for the meantime coz I can feel his pain of being away from him and there's nothing we can do to change the dynamics as of present time. Jenever7, you have a gift and don't underestimate your God-given talents to be of help to some confused souls like me. Your sincerity is the best gift you can give to anyone and you're able to tap to that unhidden truths elusive to many a sensitive but proud psychics around. I am truly blessed with your sharing and insight and will continue this new-found friendship with you as I chart my way to an unchartered territory. I would appreciate if you would continue to do more readings for me and my first love to guide me along the way towards my path of peace, joy, contentment and eternal love! Continue to be a blessing to others...will keep in touch every now and then....till then my guardian angel!
Angela, sorry to be so long in replying. Thank you for your kind words and I am delighted that you found encouragement through the reading. It is really something how well suited the reading was compared to your actual situation. Hold on to your optimism and balance and do come back and tell me how things develop in time. If you need a little reading from time to time let me know.
Take good care and I'll keep an eye on this thread in case you return. Good luck my friend!!
Hi Jenever7! I was really waiting for your comments if you can make a reading on my current relationship which has gone stale and suffocating! i FELT REALLY TRAPPED and would like to get out , if not for our kids (4). Then came along my first love, whom I'm having second thoughts of going back in case I decide to leave my loveless marriage for good. Honestly, there are quite a number of suitable love prospects for me if I decide to move on with my life, but I'm just too scared to venture into the unknown and the guilts that go with it. You see, these 2 guys who are closest to me now are very much married and if ever, have a chance of winning my heart but at the expense of breaking their families apart! It's horrible and I just wonder if it's not possible to find true love without hurting so many innocent lives? Will I have enough time in this lifetime to truly be happy with my soulmate?The other man in my life was born on 25/09/69, much younger than me but got a very strong emotional connection!!! What do you see in my future, please? I will check on your reply coz I've been in need of a psychic guidance and I feel a strong connection with you. Would you know why we seemed to have a rapport and an instant trusting connection? Good luck to you and please take your time, coz I'm in in a very tight situation of late and couldn't really trust anyone to confide my personal predicament. I know you understand how complicated my situation is as of the moment. Thanks in advance for your selfless gesture...will wait eagerly!
Angela168, you are seeking to jump from one relationship to another but what you are really seeking is a love relationship with yourself. Getting back with your old love is more symbolic for you than anything you really want. You want to turn back time and try to do your life over, not making the same mistakes as in the past. But that can't happen. All you have is the present to deal with. You are not happy with your present situation and must fix it - not run away into some romantic fantasy that could never be as good as you dreamed it could be. Stop putting off or distracting yourself from what must be done. The hardest part about pulling off a bandaid is drawing it out because you fear the pain it will cause. But the relief afterwards is its own reward. Stop dreaming of the perfect life and go about getting it. You are the only one who can save you from your problems - no one else can ride in to help you. Either make your marriage better or end it.
Thanks Captain! I was shocked by your words but that's what I need to hear to get me to act on what I've been postphoning! I agree with your final words: " Work on my marriage or end it!" I just read your insights sometime in March about fear of the future and the events in my life just fit into the scenarios you've described. I couldn't thank you enough and will keep you posted! Kudos to you and may you continue to be an inspiration to many lost souls like me...
LOL, Captain! Having been in that place of "should I stay or go" in a marriage all I can say is - truer words were never spoken. In the end you have to make a call and just deal with whatever consequences arise. Moving out of the internal conflict that comes from overthinking it all is it's own reward in the end.
Yeah, I'm a shocker, all right!
Hi there Captain and Jenever 7! Thanks for the shock value. LOL! It shook me to the core and made me look inside...what's really happening to me and for how long am I willing to stay stagnant and in that rut? I tell you it's not easy letting go of this discomfort, even if it's killing me (you know this fact Jenever7!) but I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea that I need to do it, regardless of the consequences...it's my only path to freedom and finding my own fulfillment! Yes, you're right I keep on looking for love at the wrong places when it should have been inside of me in the first place. My traumas and fears as a child keep haunting me until now because I've been running away from it all, including myself. It has been my safety net all my life...run away and escape before they get to me! I can't bear to look inside of me because I'm so afraid to see and feel what I don't like to experience again (sigh!). Looks like there's no more turning back, and just got to live in the here and now and no longer allow my past and my future to control and decide what will ultimately be right for me? I will get to it for sure, just need to muster all the power and love necessary to let go...no matter how daunting it seems to me now! I would like to hear more from you guys because your voices are the ones that the Universe use to echo the guidance that I so desperately need to correct the many mistakes I've done, and also give me the strength and courage to proceed without hesitation. I'm still in shock Captain...but good news is it's now wearing thin! Wish me all the positivity of spirit and mind to pull it through...and be a better person out of this personal challenge.
Btw, my health improved this week after gaining some sort of emotional clarity. Thanks so much for that shocker...it really worked!
Jenever7, I'm tired of this too much analytical thinking going on inside my head and my mind has crashed, unable to think logically and coherently for quite awhile until the shocker....hahaha! Just wondering if I'll be able to see the light of day at the end of this ordeal? So much anxiety makes me feel numb really. I hope this will all end once I've made that significant first step? My fears are eating me up once again...it's a lot easier to give advice to others but can't get myself to do what seems BEST for all parties concerned. I need some space and time to be alone and get myself sorted...then I will be back, hopefully whole and centered. Please be with me in spirit....
Hi Angela....I wanted to step in and give you another perspective. I am one of the parties that was hurt in a long lost love coming back into my significant other's life. She too wasn't happy in her 25 plus years of marriage. She had dumped my ex twice to go to her husband and have a life with him. She decided she wasn't happy anymore about 27 years later and looked him up. By reminscensing about old times, he thought maybe she really was the one even after all the hurt and pain she had previously caused him. When he told me about it, I let him go. Current reality? She has divorced her husband, but still lives with him. She is leading my ex on by making him believe she will really kick her ex-husband out and move in with him. Until that happens, he is on the back burner, only to be communicated with when it's "safe". She cannot tell her kids about her "one and only true love" that she has reunited with because they will be mad at her and think she left their father for this other man, which is what she did. He is by himself since she lives hours away. He has moved to be closer to her, he drives hours away during the week to see her and she has no time for him except maybe once a month if she's not busy. However, in their daily calls she reiterates how much she loves him and wants to be with him and keeps pushing the time out that they will be together. She has even admitted that her ex-husband still "has something on her" that she cannot break free from but promises she will and they will finally be together like they were meant to be.
The result of all this? I lost a really great guy that I was totally happy with, that tells me he was completely happy with me and would have never left if she hadn't come back around. He keeps calling me and saying that he misses me but he has to ride this relationship out with her. I think he has realized she is not the person he had built up in his head all this time. He said he always compared all his relationships to her and they never got a chance to finish what they started because of other people getting in the way, i.e., her husband.
Even as unhappy as he is with the situation, he will not let her go. The consequences for him? He will continue to be unsatisfied until she deems him worthy enough to let go of her ex- husband, if that ever happens. He has serious doubts that she will. With her behavior in the past, he made relationship choices that ended up precluding him from having the children he always wanted. He could have those with me but by the time he figures it out, I will be gone. Truthfully, I am already gone anyway but it's really sad that because these two felt like they were soul mates, they have hurt two innocent people in their quest to be together (and more as far as their friends and family go) and in all likelihood this won't work out anyway.
I agree with the others. You need to make yourself happy and work on either letting go of the marriage or trying to fix it. You cannot make someone from your past be your "key" to happiness. If you really want out of your marriage, then get out. If he really isn't happy then he needs to get out. If that happens, and you hook up AFTER all that....then it was meant to be.
Just my two cents...I ended up on this forum after what happened with him because I was desperately unhappy. I don't regret anything that happened because coming here I did find myself and I did find out what makes ME happy and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm very grateful for what I have now and if all of this hadn't happened, I would be here and I wouldn't want it any other way. I hope you find what so many of us here are finding. It really is a great place to be when you love yourself and don't need someone else to make you complete. I'm not saying I wouldn't like to be in a relationship but what I do know is that I love myself enough to make my life complete. A relationship would just be icing on an already wonderful cake. :0) Blessings.
Words of wisdom AuntBuck and I truly admire your courage for having shared a very private part of your journey. Maybe I should share a part of what's really happened in my own marriage meltdown. I had endured a lot of pain in the past due to my husband's immaturity and gave up my career to allow him to take the headship in the family but all the efforts ended up in a disaster. Our family migrated to another country to start anew and hoped things would be better, so I thought. He couldn't cope with the responsibilities of building up a family having been a dependent solo child and was never given a chance to take responsibility for his own life and would rant about his mother's over-protectiveness and control. I became the symbol of his mom, trying to fix him and lead him to the right path until I let go and let him be who he wants to be. I was so hurt with all the lies and emotional distance between us but I have to endure because of my young kids then. I grew in a dysfunctional family and I don't want my kids to experience the trauma I had as a child, so I managed to cope. I realized I haven't forgiven him for all the pain he has subjected me prior to our migration to our current country of residence and our relationship started to deteriorate. I couldn't open up to our friends coz it would destroy his credibility but there was one point when a close friend had an idea of what I was going through when our family was about to be ejected from our home when I checked out from the hospital after my cancer treatment. He collapsed when I got home for fear of my reaction when I find out about the ejection notice! So many things happened since then and that was the beginning of the end till his affair with one of our closest family friends. I almost walked out on him but his pleas for me to stay and the interests of the kids was foremost on my mind. I thought we have weathered the storm and I told my in-laws about what happened and realized they've sent him a big amount of money and he never mentioned it to me, and there we were to be ejected from our place coz he couldn't pay the rent! I managed to keep all these woes from my kids and tried so hard to keep his dignity intact. He said he never felt loved by me and he is only wanting to be loved in return, maybe true coz I related to him as if it's my duty to love and serve him. We never had a passionate and sensual connection, coz I don't feel we're one during those intimate moments. I could feel there's something deep with him that he is not sharing with me. I was right when in one of our sober moments, he intimated to me his unresolved issue with his childhood friend and first love. I felt his pain then and in not so many words, I knew he still carried the torch for her which I perfectly understood. I asked her if he wanted to contact her back home and find out how she's doing lately. To make a long story short, his mom told him that she's now separated from her husband and got a lot of psychological problems. Now they've been emailing each other which I thought was just for old time's sakes and a consoling gesture but he had become more distant from me and my intuition tells me there's more to it than what he's willing to tell me. Is it a coincidence that my first love and his first love re-connected with us during these trying times in our marriage? I am getting out not because of my first love, though it would be nice to have someone to give me company when I do leave, but to find myself and allow me to discover what it's like to love myself first and foremost? I sincerely hope he would also find his true happiness which I couldn't and wasn't able to give him for the years we've been together. It took so many years for us to realize that the key ingredient to make a marriage last was not there, maybe friendship and companionship but not an enduring and lasting kind of love to make our marriage last the distance. This acceptance has relieved me of the guilts I used to beat myself up for quite sometime. I can only be responsible for my own actions and no one else. My heart cries out for my children but I'll make sure they'll learn from our mistakes and hope they won't commit the same mistakes we've made. Starting all over again is a big ask and I learned I shouldn't have given up my independence when I got married, something I've been telling my daughters lately. Keep ones' identity and career intact even if they get married later on. I'm not jumping in any relationship because I want to make sure I'm emotionally ready and available to give the best I have to offer to any prospective lover. I may have sounded desperate earlier in my entries but all that has changed now coz I need to have a solid relationship with myself first before attempting to enter into another one, out of fear! It's liberating to have expressed these thoughts and I felt a release from bondage and more than ready to take up the challenge. What a journey it has been...till then!
You are doing the right thing. Your story sounds a lot like my first and only marriage. I got out of the same kind of thing with my ex husband. Always him first and me second. Amazingly, I left after our 2nd child was born when she was about 6 months old. I stayed for 13 years. I lost me and all the opportunities I could have had as a young adult. We split because he was having an affair, not the first, and I can't count how many times my parents bailed us out on money because of him. I was in the mists of a severe alcohol problem when it ended. We had very little time together that we weren't using some substance or another. :0/ Anyway, I was scared to death, I had a 3 year old, a 6 month old and a part time job and no education. And was a raging drunk. UGH. But...I did it. 13 years later, I haven't had a drink in almost as long, I stayed single for 9 years after that marrige ended and worked on myself and finding who I was again after all those years of being torn down by my ex. I own my own home, no one helped me buy it, I did it. Yes, I've had struggles along the way but I made it anyway. The ex I mentioned above was the first man that I connected with after all those years of being single so it was a real blow to me when all this occurred. The good news is....I'm back on this incredible journey of finding what makes me happy and not what makes everyone around me happy because that was the way I was brought up to be. Always make sure everyone else is happy and if you think you need to be happy you just need to be happy with the fact that you are taking care of everyone else and your needs are nothing compared to theirs. HAHAHA...seriously. I was told it was selfish to put yourself before anyone else. What I've learned....if I'm not happy....no one around me is going to be either. Remember that when it comes to your children. As long as you are happy, they will be too. Of course life happens and we have to deal with it but as long as you get up every day and are grateful for what you have, you have it all.
I hope you didn't take offense with what I said. I truly wasn't trying to offend and/or judge you. I'm proud of you for going your way and finding you first. It is really the best way to go and so much more valuable in the grand scheme of things. Thank you for filling me in on the picture of your marriage since it really sounds so much like what I went thru in my marriage. Isn't it amazing how this place has helped us to connect to people so like ourselves that we can get great support and love from? Blessings to you!
Oh I'm not offended at all AuntBuck! You even helped me think aloud and focus on what's really happening in my marriage which I refused to talk openly to my friends and family. After all, it's my life and they have no say on how I'm going to live it. Really amazing how this forum has enable me to achieve the clarity out of my messy situation. I thought I'd be able to pretend that I'm happy till the day I die, but I'm being unfair to myself and to my husband who is also unhappy because he's got a very unsatisfied wife! He has to sort himself out and I refuse to do it for him. For 22 years, I'm still hoping some magic spell would be cast on our marriage and BOOOMMM, it's greaattt...but that's illusion. I've been attracting emotionally weak guys and I have to put a stop to that vicious cycle. You're very right...find the courage and faith in yourself and you'llsurvive without depending on others. My late mother was like that and married an immature man...now I'm in the same boat. What gives? The only difference...my father walked out on us and my husband didn't coz he needed a crutch and couldn't walk on his own two feet. It's good I didn't resort to any kind of addiction to numb my senses maybe because I married quite late since my heart got broken many times over and didn't entertain the thought of reconciling with my first love because of unforgiveness on my part. Hahaha...after 36 years we're now on speaking terms! Anyway, I'm staying away from him and all the other guys who are interested in me because that's not what I need right now. I am even crying for the decision I've made and I'm not sure how to break it to him, how I've fought for our family only to realize it's a losing battle. I'm now at peace with myself and more confident that I'm on the right path. I want a change of scenery and environment to start anew, and start taking control of my life which I've lost just like you. Looking forward to touch base with you regularly coz looks like this is meant to be and your'e going to be one of my guides in this journey of mine, just like the Captain, Jenever7 and other kindred souls that the Universe will send my way. I welcome all of you into my world! I welcome LIFE back into my life...
Angela168, when you are making decisions, you can't really know what is right for other people - you can only make a guess and you might be wrong. The only person you can change and know what's best for is yourself - by following your deepest instincts. You know you can't keep propping this man-child up and that he needs to learn to stand on his own feet, come what may. You can't protect people from life and in fact may be damaging them more by doing so. Let your husband go into the arms of his own angels and guides and God. And you do the same...
Hi Angela - I must say that it is exciting to witness you in the midst of this challenge to transform yourself. For all of us who have had similar experiences here it is very easy to literally feel the struggles you are going through building up that strength. You had asked me for a reading, but I feel that too many things are in transition here for a complex reading (or I simply am not skilled to take that on in such a charged situation, lol) so I went for one card that would simply help guide you in your present stage of things. I was very confused at first, and even had to go back to re-read our original communications to try to make sense of it, and what do you know, it's a card you have already experienced. It is that Four of Cups again. Go back and think about what we said the Four of Cups meant to you early in life. Now you appear to be in a place of drawing up your strength and yet here is that card again. Perhaps just a reminder of what led you to some unhappiness in the past? Now is your chance to learn from the past and try things a new way.
The image on the four of cups is of a man sitting with three cups neatly stacked in front of him. This is his life. His arms are crossed, he is disinterested, apathetic, perhaps even resistant to changing anything. Yet to his side a hand comes out of a cloud offering him a fourth cup, It is a gift, a chance to bring something new into his life...but will he take it, and if he does what will he do with it. This card continues to reinforce the idea of you looking inside yourself and not looking at the cups stacked right in front of you. What gift is the hand emerging from the clouds offering you? The answer to that is what will move you out of your current state.
The Tarot cards, in my opinion, do not bring us solid answers, but a way to meditate on situations. There is a very strong message in this Four of Cups for you. It is not a major arcana card, this is not a card destiny card but it is an simple message to stay focused on yourself and reflect on yourself. The operative word being "yourself". This is about you and what you need to break out of the repeating cycles of your life that keep you stuck.
Now, the "shadow" card in this was the Seven of Cups. A man is surrounded by seven cups all filled with different options and opportunities. It can get overwhelming if you try to deal with all those cups at once, so I believe something that is important for you right now as well, is to think through things with patience and clarity. Do not overwhelm yourself with the many decisions that are going to come into play if you are seriously going to make the move to free yourself from your current situation. Stay grounded, don't take on more than you can handle all at once. One day at a time, one challenge at a time, one step at a time will lead you to your next place.
Remember in our original reading that you did have a destiny card and it was Strength. And also remember what can come into being if you can hang on to that strength - it is the chance for loving, balanced relationships that will bring you contentment. Perhaps even some balance will come between you and your husband, whether or not you remain together. No reason to think of it only as one final relationship - it can just as well be a general way of being or a situation.
Your cards make me smile Angela because they throw me for such a loop, I anticipate that I'll pull certain cards but then get something quite different. But all very timely messages I think!
I'll be keeping an eye on you here.