Why?? Do I feel like a sucker?

  • Where to begin....in short...Ive been friends with this guy for 4 years....3 of those years hes been in a relationship...and I knew my place....the friend...the friend that he called when he was mad, confused, sad, or just needed advice...so at times i was the emotionally connected gf..lol...until about 4 months ago he broke up with her and then starting to pursue me....I didnt get it at first but then allowed myslef to let my guard down...that maybe is was my turn since my love life hasnt exactly been the greatest for the past 4 years....things were going great... Then out of no where the ex gf calls and wants him back.....and Im left being the friend again..as if I was a freakin light switch that whn you flip it up im a friend and then when you flip it down im wanted as a gf.....I basically totally told him that nothing mattered anymore....and that I deserved better than that....Obviously there is more to this story...as there always is....but apart of me feels betrayed...pissed...stupid...but also powerful a the same time.....So yes Im trying to move forward....but a part of me feels lost or missing..for soo long he was that person I turned too...but the way I see it....he doesnt know a relationship with this girl without me.....but this time hes just going to have to do it without me....

    Why are guys soooo selfish??????

  • I have a feeling it's not going to work out for him again. Did he turn to you right after they broke-up the first time. If he did, that's probably a pretty good signal that there wasn't enough time apart for these two. One rule that I have in regards to advice is not to let the person keep coming back, time and time again about the same thing. Unless it's a younger person. The reason, I'm not a psychotherapist. Especially at work. It starts to border gossip. Some people just need a listening ear. I am like that. Seems like he has a lot of baggage w/this person and it will probably take a while to revamp the next time a break-up happens. I would be real careful if he turns to you. Seems like you have been a good friend to him. This is also the problem w/people who are married and a good reason to avoid the situation all together. Let his problems be his problems. I hope this helps. Best wishes.

  • hey there bella,

    I know your pain to an extent, but not all men are like that. I understand the part of playing the friend and taking in all their emotions, and maybe even then you fall for them. Because you feel you 2 really have something for eachother, and then something like that happens. I've seen it happen to others before, and it has happened to me. It really sucks i know, to care for a person truly, and then get mislead to thinking there can be more, but then they toss you away like trash the next second expecting you to be fine with it. Because after all, "you're a friend, you should be there for eachother." Believe me, i sense what you're going through.

    If you'd like to talk, my aim is sexdctr6

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