Some insights please!!
i am trying to get over this very strong infatuation. in my side i believe its love -- but because we never had physical contact i am afraid of over evaluating it. it was a wrong timed romantic encounter, very strong connection, which burned us badly and ugly because of unmanageable circumstances. wrong settings -- but it just happened. i knew it all way but thought the guy knows what he is doing. i had hopes and dreams of some good outcomes, and then every thing fell apart in a matter of days. then over the months there were couple of struggles on his part to make up. it didn't work.
then total miscommunication and misunderstandings.
now I know for SURE that things have ended, totally. however, i still have hopes and strong wishes for the magic to happened, --i just can't believe!!! --while i know its a nope. I spent so much time in doing nothing but only waiting. it scares me because i know nothing can happened and still i feel numbed. i feel so much hurt and because things were never clear in the air it keeps my senses high for an answer or sign or something---just to make me move.
i also can't believe that its only me hurting so deep. i think the guy was hurt too but i saw him manage to turn his hurt into boldness and careless at some point?? maybe hatters ...i wish i know the truth how he feels ---it would have relaxed me too.
so my need for help is to know how to set my mind and move on. i am seeing weird dreams, almost like nightmares and can't relax. i don't have danger thoughts at all, I only see myself overly obsessed--and it scares me. i have read and know by heart what should i do, i just can't do them. i feel numb. i can't talk to any body for this so i would appreciate some thoughts and insights. would love if some one can do a reading on this too! just any ting is greatly appreciated.
thanks a lot, a
Here you are celebrating your fixation with the other.
You have forgotten yourself.
You think that you cannot live alone witout given rules.
You are sort of numbed for the natural cycles and processes.
So now there is celebrating your submission, your deception and your pain.
Your suffering has been caused by patterns in your soul.
In fact you are desiring for love,
but you can no longer find your source.
Thank you a lot for the reply. I partially understand what you are saying--but not fully. do you know were can I read more on this analyses you are describing. How can I heal those patterns of the suffering??
what do you mean that I can no longer find my source??
Good Morning arsia....i was reading your query and was blown away. I have been going through the same sort of thing (except the lack of physical touch). I understand that sometimes when one goes through certain patterns of excitement and disappointment as a child that the chemical reaction in ones body becomes part of them. The reaction to others, whether ones wants or not, is the same because we are used to it. If something feels different we don't understand or it may seem boring, weird, etc. For instance, my father worked out of town most of my childhood. I would anticipate his coming home; he would be tired and not very affectionate; I was happy with what I could get because I loved him so much! Unfortunately this has been a part of my chemistry. I meet men who are emotionally unattached, or busy doing other things and I fall for them. When I meet someone who is "normal" he is unexciting and "doesn't do it for me". Just a thought!
So here is the bottom line, you have lost yourself in this relationship. You existed long before this man was in your life. Get back to the basics, what did you do for fun, hobbies? What was an enjoyable day for you, alone. If you can find those old traits that made you who you were, you will start to find the self that existed before this relationship.
Soemtimes when we get hurt we lose ourselves, get lost in the emotion, and forget we are most whole when we are alone because we do not have to fractionate ourselves in order to be an active participant in the relationship we have created with another person.
Let's face the truth, in todays world it is of upmost importance to never, ever lose our core being, what makes us, us.
I hope this helps. Once you apply this line of thinking in your life believe me, you will once again become whole, strong, and these thoughts that plague you now will disappear.
CarmentheWolf, Thank you! Yes i think so too! its the known pattern that holds me down, while i should move on. but i guess i should give myself time and distraction.
Myviewpoint, Thank you a lot! i agree mostly; however, i don't think i lost myself, i just think i lost a big dream. the problem is that i dreamed a lot about the future with this men and in my dreams he was in the harmony with what I was and i was doing in life. and every day i was doing better if I had him around. since the problem started i can't believe in the whole thing.
it feels like my wings are clipped and i just have to wait to grow them up again.
I know i will be better, latter, --its just hard right know though.
I agree Arsia, it is fair for you to say you did not get lost. It is possible it was the dream that you lost, I respectfully accept your perception.
Your wings being clipped is a beautiful way to describe your broken heart. Take your time, lick your wounds and when you are ready you will go out and start again you will, smarter and stronger. You know the old saying no pain, no gain. It really does apply to these matters of the heart, because believe me, you will never make the same mistake twice.
Good luck to you, have a great life.
Thank You Myviewpoint!
I wish you the best too!
you are suffering from your ego, as we all do. Your patterns of suffering are patterns in your mind. Come to know that you are not that what you are thinking. Then you will come more to your heart. But your source is in your hara, your belly. So come out of the prison of relationship, where you are constantly fixated to another you, which on the other side nourishes your "I". Feel your impulses arising from your inner without thinking what will the other say or think or feel. Get on your own way!
I am sorry, but the analyses you asked for are not published. They are coming a special combination between Tarot and Tibetan Healing.
Most women seem to loose their power when this happens to them, I have been there myself, But there is a way to stop! You must change your routine,,,, and start meditaing, find some good meditation music and every morning light some insense put on your ipod and sit or lay peacfully, and pick one phrase like " I am an amazing woman and I am open to all the love that comes to me"
or " I realease my fears of this situation and I am ready to move on to a beautiful new level"
You dont have to use these phrases, its better if done with your intent and words, but repeat it to your self or outloud, try to do at least 15 min, if you can go longer even better.
You also need to read " A new earth" by Eckart Tole ,,, read it slowly and really absorbe it , it changed my life and how I love , the ego is our worst enemy and this is what causes our fears to get obbsesive.
Good luck and enjoy the journey.... when you do get your power back you will know it and you will feel like the strong beautiful woman that you are !
Thank You Hanswolfgang!
Thank You a lot for the advices Virgogirl!
wish you the best!!
any experience we have in life: sadness, joy, obssession, addiction, death of loved ones,frustration, broken hearts, deceived etc. is meant to be experienced. the universe sends us troubles for us to overcome it and hence learn from it. next time similar things happen to us or to others, we know how to handle them. take your time and evaluate. honesty is the best way to evaluate recent events. turn off mind chatter, if you are into meditation, this is a good way to do it. or you can just go somewhere quiet and spend time on your own.
you know what you have done and what he has done. focus on you for now. and take note of this lesson, make a vow to remember it and to remind yourself next time before it happens again. admit where you were wrong, and analyze how and why it happened. being honest with yourself will surprisingly strengthen you. cry if you must, don't hold anything back. this is a conversation that you are having with your inner self. holding things back is not necesary in fact it delays healing and therefore improvement. talk to yourself, regardless what people think.
in your despair you have been ignoring your needs, your own self. you seek for satisfaction from others, but when you ignore your own needs, how can others please you? the universe wants you to turn inward. only when you recognize yourself, you will know who/what you really need. this could be a long process, but a rewarding one. keep telling yourself, that you are going to win this fight over unhealthy obsession. the universe does throw you problems, but it won't hold you from asking help or from doing anything that will help you learn it. don't be afraid if you start sobbing and crying night after night, the universe wants you to recognize your own strength, and this is the right time to do so. if you fall, get up and fight. keep doing this, nothing can control or take over you if you don't let it. it might take quite a few falls, but each time, you will get up faster and stronger.
I felt you wright in every sentence! you are so into it! thank you!
God Bless You!
I felt you right in every sentence! you are so into it! thank you!
God Bless You!
thank you a lot for advising Eckhart Tolle.
it helped me a lot!