Aries wants to get back with a Cancer

  • I had this 7-year relationship with a Cancer. And we broken up recently. We were on a 2 year long distance relationship and i knew at the bottom of my heart that he couldn't handle that for long. His actions and emotions are of a true Cancerian. And as an Aries we have conflicts of interests, before the LDR we could always work stuff out because we are together but because of the LDR its quite difficult to manage disagreements. Before we've broken up I was kinda losing interest in him because I felt that he somehow lost his personality and goals and dreams in life because he prioritized me, don't get me wrong, i appreciate that he put me first but i felt that it came to a point where he doesn't have any other interests at all. But i knew that once he sorts himself, i would be interested in him again and i knew that i would not want to break up. He broke up with me because he felt that he wasn't getting any of the love in return and that he needed to rebuild his life. i do still love him, but i was so occupied with the happenings in my life and i dont want to nag him anymore to fix his. Its been about 2 weeks since we've stopped speaking and i really miss him and i thought this break might do us good. I am still hoping we'd get back together but a friend of mine said he was already sort of seeing somebody else. I thought that was way too quick to get over someone after 7 years and she might be rebound, but still it hurts. i need advice on how to get him back please, do i maintain a friendship? Thanks.

  • Can you supply me with both your birth date and his?

  • This post is deleted!

  • @thecaptain april 17 and june 29

  • Sorry to say, this relationship was always going to be rocky long-term romantically. You are very different people. It will be important for the two of you to verbalize your needs and to learn to focus - you Ell-ries can have plenty of energy available but you can be ignorant of when and how to refill your batteries when they run down. You do have plenty of energy to give, but you don’t understand your partner well enough to know how to deliver it. And while you can be unceasingly devoted, and always ready to help both humanity in general and individuals in particular, the deep, hard-to-satisfy needs of your Cancer man may still prove too much for you to handle. This is one reason why the relationship requires extraordinary and unceasing energy. Even such an experienced, vital person as yourself may be frustrated in trying to satisfy your needy lover. He, on the other hand, will always understand your needs, but will usually lack the energy to keep up with them, let alone satisfy them. You will from time to time have to give him a gentle push to get him moving. Unfortunately, unless he is self-motivated in a given task or activity, he will usually have difficulty achieving and sustaining forward momentum in this relationship.

    You Ell-ries can have problems telling people how you feel about them. Your partner is all about feelings. You can be a passionate and loyal lover, but it can take a while for you to open up in relationships and be truly yourself. You like to feel in control and, when another person makes you feel vulnerable or needy, your response is often to withdraw or maybe even to flirt with other admirers. It is important for your psychological growth to take a risk and share your feelings with loved ones.

    Your partner can be optimistic, upbeat, caring and he usually thinks in twosomes. But he can also be moody and insecure if he is not getting the attention he craves. Basically he is looking for a mother substitute. He wants a partner who will be a domestic goddess but you can be so independent and unable to sit still or settle down. Once in a relationship however, your partner can be exceedingly generous with his loved one and may need to temper his giving impulse to allow them or his children to stand on their own two feet.

    Advice: Work on being happy because sometimes you don’t know how lucky you are. Balance your energies by learning to both give and to take. Try to be more understanding of each other's differences..

  • Oh wow. This is so true to the point! It is really how our personalities are and the dynamics of our relationship. Thank you so much! I knew from the start that an aries and a cancer have a low compatibility. But we lasted for 7 years and somehow i really want to make this work out. What can we do about it?

  • Once a Cancer guy is gone, he usually is gone. Move on to find someone who is more compatible with you.

  • @thecaptain
    suggestion on who (star sign) would b more compatible.

  • A Virgo guy can be a good match for you. You are both determined individuals; if you can learn to compromise, this can be a passionate and rewarding union.

  • But i feel like there is still some hope.

  • You mean, you hope there is ...

  • I feel and i hope there is still hope. The last conversation we had. He said i love you back. I feel like if i can show him how much i love him we can get back together

  • @thecaptain we got back together.. there are still some issues we need to work out but we are communicating how to make the relationship work... 😀

  • Is it still LDR?

  • @thecaptain yup. But we'll try to be together as soon as possible. I just want to know how I could keep him while still in ldr

  • @ell-ries, think back to what interested him in the first place. He was probably drawn to you if you were very warm and/or nurturing to him as he yearns for, a real motherly type and also a domestic goddess. His ideal woman is a combination of refined beauty, grace, and intelligence. He's attracted to ladies who are classy, polite, wholesome and caring, but also assertive in a feminine way - never demanding or aggressive (you can be, you know!).. However, if you are hoping he'll pursue you passionately, you'll be disappointed. Cancer men are shy and hate the thought that they could be rejected, so put on your best feminine aura, and turn on the charm. You can go slow (something you will likely find difficult) and just be friends with him for now - he can be a bit skittish when it comes to romance, so don't be in a hurry. Be willing to make the first steps in shifting from friendship to something more, however. Forget about subtle hints; be direct and tell him what you want, but don't be pushy, just firm.

    Talk to him about your family and ask him about his too. But this guy can become secretive and will clam up if he senses you're prying instead of just enquiring, so don't ask too many personal questions, and don't tell him anything that someone else said to you in confidence. Talk about your career - a Cancer guy needs to feel secure. He is attracted to a woman who can take care of herself financially and has career plans for her future. Get to know him through the flow of conversation. Always show a genuine interest in what he says, and once you've gained his trust, he'll open up.

    Empathize with him. He needs a lot of attention and understanding. So, if he opens up to you, put aside your point of view and listen to him. Don't use clichés, don't be judgmental, and don't feel you have to make it all better. Connect with him on an emotional level (another thing you might be uncomfortable with).

    Show a little vulnerability. Cancer men like to assume the traditional male role, so ask him to help you in some small way or to give you advice or guidance. In doing this, you're not only showing him respect, but you're also showing you trust him enough to make yourself vulnerable.

    And lastly, consider whether you would have to change yourself too much to suit this man. You are very different people - could you put up with his moods and his neediness and his mother, for instance? Because he will likely cling to all three.

  • Thank you so much for advice. I'll admit its taking a bit slow, but I couldn't blame him because he's been hurt and it will take a while for him to come out of his shell. Plus Im not physically there with him. But at the moment we are having loads of conversation and I'm being more interested in how his day was. I think I would be a little squirmish with the neediness but I'd rather have that than the feeling of him being cold to me and ignoring me.

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