Would appreciate a reading looking into a breakup of a 8yr r.ship please, please no zodiac reading



  • @vettech78 has he rejected you or you him?



  • @thecaptain he broke up with me, trying to say the love is gone. But myself and a handful of others arent buying into it. There has been major baby mama drama lately. His childs mother gave my fiance temporary emergency custody , we have had him for almost the last year. He is 9yr with add and terrible behavior issues. She lived in iowa with yhe boy for the 1st 9yrs yrs . He always paid child support,etc. Anyway she finally moved back here to ohio, so the child can have both parents here. She is immature/manipulative and controlling. The child likes to exaggerate things to his favor. So would complain that im mean,etc but on the same token he would tell me he loves me every day. And would say things to his mom "why cant you cook homecooked foods like Caroline does. (Me)!! BAD IDEA! But he is only 9 lol. Well theres been alot of strain in household. My fiance took that job in southern ohio that he thought would be answers to our $ problems but it didnt work out. We were down to one car so i couldnt work. (It was fairly rural where we lived). Then to make matters worse the boys mom trying to say she wants to take R@@@ back to Iowa. My fiance was so torn/stressed, not knowing how to proceed. Even complatating moving to wherever she takes him, out of desperation to be with his boy. To make matters worse we do have communications issues that needs worked on as a couple on both sides, especially his. All this became too much i believe. I went to cleveland on Easter weekend to visit my family. Took the greyhound bus. He kissed me off, .etc told me to call that i arrived safely. He said on phone "i miss you baby so much its hurts" it only had been 5 hours lol. Upon my arrival on monday he basically ended it with explaining baby mama will wait to bring R@@@ home til im gone. ( he was visiting her elsewhere in ohio for easter weekend). While i was packing, pleading him to change his mind, he would make comments like " this is harder on me then you" " if it comes down to my son or you ill choose him" and "not having choice" "iv lost you, now maybe my son, car, everything... he kept asking if we could be friends, i kept saying no how i cant br friends with someone im in love with. He started crying very hard and ran out of house saying "I cant do this" on moving day he sat on the bed listening to a country love music mix. He says he doesnt know where his life will take him, that he is lost etc... less then 6 months ago he made a comment about being ok with just going to courthouse to marry. Regardless whats going on, I have been implementing the famous "no contact rule" he asked for a breakup so i gave him one. So he feels what life is like without me.



  • @vettech78, this man is freaking out from how complicated and responsibility-heavy his life has become and he feels that letting you go will simplify things a bit. He is basically running away from his life and there is nothing you can do to fix that if he believes that escape is the answer..He has been running away for a while now with all these far-away jobs he has taken, never mind the bull about solving financial problems. He wants out of everything, to be free and clear! He will also be trying to distance himself from his ex too.



  • Holy Cow ....what a mess. Sounds like YOU need a breather too! Yes ....run, run, see x run as fast as he can. He cries and moans but does not DO anything to help or solve things. He lets his x bully him and holds his son as "dangling bait" to get her way and ONLY her way. He will not WANT to stay in any kind of a relationship with her after awhile. He will run again. He can not man up to his responsibilites to a son like this. So sad. You need that "no contact" for your own space and sanity ....keep us posted. And take care of YOU.



  • @badgerwoman. Yes it is. He does not want to abandon his parental duties however, if anything he will do anything for his boy. Which this breakup is one of them. He is putting child before a woman he loves. So i suppose if he didnt do this we all being calling him a bad parent



  • @thecaptain. Yes it is. He does not want to abandon his parental duties however, if anything he will do anything for his boy. Which this breakup is one of them. He is putting child before a woman he loves. So i suppose if he didnt do this we all being calling him a bad parent.



  • @vettech78 -I just feel for this boy so much. I am sure its painful what you are going through, but put yourself in his sons shoes. He desperately needs his father, even more so if his mom is a mess. He HAS to rely on his dad to survive, and kids need love and warmth to function. I am not saying I could do any better if I had to be responsible for this boy. I don't blame you if you found the situation too difficult. Its just there are too many kids in society that are neglected and abused as it is. It pains me to hear that this 9 yr old is struggling so much. But it also thrills me his dad is willing to try and adapt to his sons needs, and try to do the best he can. Kids need this so bad, they don't set out to harm people, or cause break-ups.
    Every single parent needs to set their children's well being as a priority, because thats what loving parents do. And its a responsibility the parents chose. You don't just throw a child away, or send him back to have only one parent deal, just because its hard. Thats unfair and people that do this face unseen consequences for the remainder of their lives. None of us are perfect, but causing harm and neglecting a child is about as cruel as a person can get.
    Sometimes people don't blend well, and its no ones fault. There are so many people to fall in love with. Why not choose people that make life a little easier?



  • I think this guy just relates better to a child (his son) than he does to adults and adult responsibilities. Children do not make as many demands as adults do.



  • @thecaptain. True, he is putting his sons needs over own. Everyone around us sees that he is trying to do whats best. He has come such a long way since we first met. He was a restless soul in those 1st couple years. He tells everyone that Im the reason that he has settled down to be good dad, partner, etc.. that i "saved" him. We all kinda scolded him for saying that. We explained to him that it was himself that decided to grow/mature. Basically meaning i was good influence on him, and my love for him helped him. For thr past 9 yrs we were a team so to speak. Our r.ship had its glitches yes,but so do all real life r.ships. when his brother and sister divorced it dissapointed him. He said he was tired of seeing of the divorces/breakups that were happening around him. He really wants to buy a home and have "normal" family life. Money was always the biggest issue in our r.ship. he was irresponsible w/it in beginning. I have taught him better ways to budget. Now all he is tryinv to do is pay bills and care of his son. He now got the job that he wanted cause he could transfer more up north which is what i wanted before. And he has the neighbors watching his son. Im assuming the kids mom is still planning to take child back and go back to iowa. Everyone feels it will be big mistake. And my "ex fiance " cant stop it. His actions/expessions of love for me never changed. Then suddenly the mom doing all this created upheaval. Days of me packing ,moving he would say things that has us being suspicious that this breakup isnt something he truly wants. And also feel that in my gut. The kids mom has a history of abusing power to get what she wants. She was jealous of me for sure. I just dont know whats going on



  • @andidilly. I totally agree. My ex always told everyone that i saved his life. That cause of me, it motivatec him to be a better person. His child is very manipulative. And chronic defiance/lies. But at the end of the day the boy would say "i love you" and that i will be best stepmom ever! My family and i took him in and treated him as our own. My mom spent hundreds on christmas gifts cause his mom never gave him any. And we tolerated his behavior where no one else would. My ex even said "baby thank you for being a stand up woman and not heading for the hills lol. We know his mom is jealous of me. The boy once said to his mom. "Why dont you cook homemade food like caroline does" i couldnt believe he said that. Everyone has this feeling that this breakup may not be something he deeply wanted. His words and actions just dont add up to someone who just doesnt love me anymore. We were making future plans just 2 weeks prior! I know there are "plenty of fish" in the sea" but im old fashioned, too many people these days think that if a r.ship is too much trouble then go somewhere else. Thats why divorce rates are so high. This has become a throw away society. Children need security like you said. My ex and i were doing exactly that, we gave that boy a secure/normal life. We were a family. His baby mama has control issues. And does whatever to get things her way. Who knows whats gonna happen if she follows thru on her threat to take her child and move back to iowa. My ex isnt prepared to move to iowa. Theres very little work there. He has more opportunities here in ohio. And all of the boys relatives/cousins are here, since the mom is originally from here. Right now is just the job he always wanted, and could transfer north if he wanted. See we just moved south 2 hours from cleveland which is my hometown. His uncle had a job for him, and he country boy lol. That job didnt work however. But he got this new one now. Im living back with my family.



  • That is so awesome you and your family were so good to him! He will always remember that, and if you and your boyfriend get back together, you will be a positive influence for both of them if thats what you want for long term. Don't let anyone else deter your motivation as far as the son is concerned. He will always love his mother, but he will always love and respect you know matter what he says, he just has to shield himself from his mothers insecurity and scrutiny.