QUIZ - Do you go with the flow (of the Universe)?
QUIZ - Do you go with the flow (of the Universe)?
1. What is your plan for your life?
a) I don't have one. I prefer to act accordingly to each different situation as it arises and trust that all will be well.
b) I plan everything down to the last detail and am devastated when it doesn't happen the way I want.
c) I try to plan ahead, but mostly I just wing it.
2. How do you treat other people?
a) I believe kindness and respecting others will be rewarded with the same..
b) I often use charm or looks to get my way.
c) I always try to control or manipulate them into doing what I want - in a nice way, of course!
3. What is your usual routine like?
a) I stick to a strict schedule of the known and familiar and never deviate from it.
b) I sometimes like to try eating out somewhere I haven't tried before or reading a new type of book on a subject I don't know.
c) I try to do something new and different or something in a different way every single day in order to keep myself young-thinking and vibrant.
4. Do you believe you can/do you seek to attain perfection in your life?
a) Absolutely! I have very high standards and feel like a loser if my work/life isn't up to scratch or as good as other people's.
b) I am happy doing the best I can.
c) I do push myself to achieve, but I also know when a goal is unrealistic.
5. Are you a 'big picture' or an 'obsessed over the small details' sort of person?
a) I always step back and look at the more important facts for perspective of a situation and don't get distracted by petty details.
b) I am a bit nit-picky over smaller concerns like whether someone is on time or if they remembered my birthday.
c) I fuss, stress and obsess over every little thing - and brood on it for way too long.
6. Does surprise or change throw you for a loop?
a) I am terrified of change, though sometimes I yearn for it.
b) I love a surprise and I often initiate change in my life.
c) It can be a shock, but I usually bounce back after some time to think and reorient myself.
7. Do you focus on the good or the bad things in life?
a) I try to always see the good in people and situations.
b) I only see the bad side of life - and most often the bad in myself.
c) Sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down - I just can't help myself..
8. Finish this sentence - "I feel responsible for ... "
a) ... (and remember) every mistake/bad thing I have ever made or done to anyone.
b) ... only for the things I know I can change in my own life.
c) ... everybody in my life and for being on top of every situation.
9. Are you afraid to lose control or show your true emotions?
a) No. I often cut loose and let my hair down. It's a stress-buster.
b) Yes, I like to be in control of myself - especially around strangers - and my situation. I care what others think of me so I may tell a white lie or two in order to be liked.
c) Terribly afraid ... I don't know what monstrous beast lies within or what might happen as a consequence if I released it.
10. Are you afraid of making a mistake or doing something foolish - in public or in private?
a) God, yes! I feel like I have to do things right the first time or be judged badly.
b) Somewhat, but I can take it on the chin.
c) No, it's how I learn not to do that thing again.
11. Are you afraid of letting someone else take charge?
a) I don't mind if someone else helps out - but I give the orders.
b) good luck to them, I say! Less for me to do...
c) it will be utter chaos if I don't do it all myself.
12. Are you too self-absorbed or self-conscious?
a) Hardly. I always put other people's concerns and lives ahead of my own.
b) No, I put myself first, but I also think of others.
c) Yes, I am always focused on me - on what other people have done to me, how bad I must be as a person, and how miserable my life is.
13. What is your idea of fun?
a) Doing something on impulse like driving to another town or buying a puppy or having a picnic even if it is by myself.
b) Clearing out the garage or cleaning the house until it shines.
c) Going somewhere planned in advance by myself or with friends or family.
14. Do you love the life that you are living now?
a) Well, I often dream about being richer, slimmer, healthier, younger or having a better partner/job.
b) No, I don't like anything about it.
c) Yes, I have exactly the life that I want.
Scoring:- Surprise! there is no scoring (did you like it?). Just some sound advice ...
Advice for those who answered b or c to question number 1.
Realize that you can’t control everything. No one can plan for every potential problem that might arise. The important thing is that you understand that you have the ability to problem solve in the moment. Part of this is accepting that problems will arise. Going with the flow is having the confidence that you'll be able to handle the unexpected. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you find yourself in a situation where you don't know how to proceed. For example you might ask if anyone in the meeting knows how to fix the projector. Or you might see if anyone at the party wouldn’t mind running out for more snacks if you find that you are running low. See the humor in a situation that has turned out completely different than you expected. Say you wore a suit to a party where everyone else is dressed much more casually. This can be embarrassing, but a person who knows how to go with the flow understands that it is also not the end of the world. Using humour can lighten a stressful situation. "I'm just trying to class this place up." "I have a movie premier to get to after the party."
Advice for for those who answered b or c to question number 2.
Accept that you can’t control others. Going with the flow means sometimes giving up control, not only of the situation, but of other people. A situation might become more stressful because of the behavior of another person. Perhaps someone is late to a dinner outing and you have to wait for them to arrive before ordering. You may be at a party where someone is monopolizing the conversation, which is leading you to become frustrated. Remember that in situations like this you can’t control someone else, but you can control your own actions. Try to empathize with the other person. Why might they be acting the way they are acting? Give them the benefit of the doubt. Most people are just trying to do their best to be happy. The person might not know that their behaviour is being perceived as disruptive.
Advice for those who answered a or b to question number 3.
Practice exposing yourself to the unknown. Try doing a small unpredictable thing each day. Walk or drive a new way home from work without planning it ahead of time. Go to a new place for lunch. Order something you’re not sure you will like. Start a conversation with someone at school or at work that you don’t know very well. The more comfortable you get at putting yourself in situations that are unpredictable, the more easily you will be able to go with the flow no matter where you are.
Advice for those who answered a or c to question number 4.
Let go of the idea that things need to be perfect. Things are never going to be perfect. We may set up an idea of how we want things to go, but rarely do they work out exactly that way. Striving for perfection is striving for something that does not exist. You don't need to completely let go of your goals for a project or outing, just be sure to make room for the fact that things don't always happen precisely the way you would like them to. Focus more on the experience than the outcome. Whether you are cooking a new meal for the first time or attending a dance class, expecting that you’ll get it perfect the first time is only going to distract you from the joy of learning how to do something new. Instead, focus on the method and the joy of each moment, rather than obsessing about the outcome. Avoid seeing yourself as a set of accomplishments. The things we achieve in life can give us confidence and make us feel good, but it becomes dangerous when we lean too much on them for all our happiness. Think about the other things that give you joy like a sport you play, a hobby you have, or a friendship or relationship you cherish.
Advice for those who answered b or c to to question number 5.
Look at the big picture. Overall, will going along with a change of plans have any long term effects on your happiness? Putting things into perspective can be a great tool for helping you go with the flow. When you find yourself in a situation where a loss of control is becoming stressful, take a step back and ask yourself what the actual consequences will be if things don’t work out the way you originally wanted them too. If you and some friends planned on seeing a movie only to discover it is sold out when you get to the theater, what is the harm of agreeing to see something else that you may not be as excited about? There is always the possibility that you might like the movie even if you don’t think you will and even if you don’t, you’ll still get to hangout with your friends.
Advice for those who answered a or c to question number 6.
Think about what you have to gain by going with the flow. Being surprised can be one of the best parts of life. When you are struggling to go with the flow, ask yourself what new things you may learn or experience by letting go of control. Embracing a last minute change of plans can be rewarding. The restaurant you planned to go to is too crowded? Great! This may force you to try a place you would have never gone to otherwise. Your favorite seat in the lunchroom is taken? Look at this as an opportunity to sit next to someone you don’t know very well and get to know them better. Maybe your boss gives you an assignment you weren’t expecting. This is a great opportunity to expand your role at work and to show how adaptable you can be.
Advice for those who answered b or c to question number 7.
Try to focus on the positives. If you are stuck brooding over things that have gone wrong try to shift your thinking to focus on the things that have gone right or that you have done well so far. Maybe your presentation at work didn’t go quite the way you expected, but you can still focus on the work you’ve done for the project overall. Maybe you taught a class where you feel like the lesson wasn’t communicated as efficiently as it could have been. Remember that you’ve also taught other successful classes and that you still have the ability to learn and grow. Avoid “if only” statements. If you catch yourself saying things like “If only I had stayed at home,” or “If only I had planned my night more thoroughly,” stop yourself immediately. This type of thinking will only pull you out of the moment and make you feel worse.
Advice for those who answered a or c to question number 8.
You cannot be responsible for everyone and everything. This is just a fabrication of the mind that has no basis in reality. You can only be responsible for yourself and your own actions. When you take responsibility for everyone and everything, wittingly or unwittingly, you throw yourself into a cycle of anxiety, stress, and sometimes depression as well. Plus, you’re not respecting interdependence and the fluid, ever-changing nature of our world. You can’t be responsible for everything because you are not autonomous. You are not a sole agent working exclusively under your own power. Until you evolve, every decision you make will be influenced by your family or societal conditioning. Thus the decisions you make today may be very different than the ones you made a decade ago due to the influence of your life experiences as well. It's the same for everyone else too. So you cannot be responsible for everyone and everything. Everything is constantly evolving and changing in this intricate dance of interconnectedness, relationship, and mutual influence.
Advice for those who answered b or c to question number 9.
"The more of me I be, the clearer I can see.” Rachel Andrews.
“Be yourself - not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” Henry David Thoreau
Masks are dangerous; they don’t merely hide but transform who we are. We become who we impersonate. In a world that rewards flawless masks, it’s hard to separate our identity from what we pretend. The masks we wear might seem authentic, but they are just a disguise. We want to be authentic, even if we don’t know what it is. That’s the paradox of the modern version of ‘be yourself.’ Rather than searching within, people are trying to match what ‘authentic’ means to others. We’ve turned inner exploration into a guessing game. Being yourself is not about standing out. Or being different to others. Being authentic is following your path, going with your own flow, not comparing yourself to others. When you try to be ‘different’ or even to fit in, you disconnect from what you want. Authenticity is about staying true to what you believe, not about your image - to be brave to express your genuine feelings and opinions, to be who you really are.
Advice for those who answered a or b to question 10.
Mistakes are a normal part of life. We all fall short from time to time. Unfortunately, failure is often frowned up, and is associated with feelings of anger and shame. Many people live and act in ways to ensure that they never make mistakes, though that is impossible. They don’t take risks or step outside of their comfort zones for fear that they will fail. In doing so, they never take action or look forward. The truth is that the journey towards success is paved with failures that test our ability to rise above disappointment or flounder in self-pity. It all comes down to your mindset. If you’re afraid of making mistakes, don’t be. The truth is that, if you want to succeed, you need to fail more often, because it is through failure that you learn some of your most valuable lessons in life. Thomas Watson Sr., the original Chairman and CEO of IBM, once said, “The fastest way to succeed is to double your failure rate.” So are you making enough mistakes? Experiment more, take more chances, fail more, and you will succeed faster.
Advice for those who answered a or c to question number 11.
Trust that other people’s ideas and plans can be as good as yours. Be open to the idea that someone else can take control of the situation if need be, and that they might be able to do just as good a job as you when it comes to leading everyone through something like rain on a wedding day, a lost dinner reservation, or a boring board game night. This will not only help you feel like you can more easily go with the flow, it will take some of the pressure off of you. Don’t make yourself responsible for every decision that needs to be made. Let someone else choose where to go dancing on Saturday night and be okay with whatever comes of it. If you are working on a group project be sure to get input from everyone involved. Don’t put yourself in charge, or allow yourself to be put in charge, of all the different parts of a project. Listening to other’s ideas will make the project seem more manageable and allow you to let go of some control. Yet don't be afraid to express your concerns, either. Be confident and clear about how you feel about a change in plans or idea. As long as you are open to what others have to say, your contribution will come off as helpful and you may be able to compromise with your friends. Think about a night out as a collaborative effort. “I think seeing the movie after dinner is a good idea, but I’m worried we might feel rushed to finish our meal in order to get there on time. Perhaps we should see an earlier show and eat after? Or see the midnight showing and just get drinks in between? What do you guys think?” “I’m fine finishing up the spreadsheets but I don’t think I will be able to give them the attention they deserve if I’m also responsible for assembling the materials for the meeting. Could we split that task up among the group?”
Advice for those who answered a or c to question number 12.
Focus on someone other than yourself - but not to the point where you forget all about what you want. Try putting some effort into helping others excel or have a good time. It will make you feel better about yourself. Sometimes bringing the focus off of yourself can be a great distraction when you are having trouble going with the flow. Help people out. Make them feel more comfortable or less alone. Engage them in conversation. Ask them to join your team/friends. Be interested in their problems. Putting your focus on someone else will also help you stay present in the moment rather than sinking back into depression, regret or guilt.
Advice for those who answered b or c to number 13.
Having fun will reduce the stress in your life. There are lots of things you can do for fun ... alone or with other people, planned or unplanned. You may not be having as much fun as you want because you feel like you're doing the same old thing day after day. If you want to have fun, you have to get into the right mindset and embrace every opportunity for a good time. If you're relaxed and not afraid to be a little silly, then you can have fun almost anywhere, whether you're at a party or in the middle of a work day. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new. For example - find a new hobby or passion. Go to a concert in the park. Go for a walk - a brisk walk or run is free, healthy and can be a fascinating pursuit, plus you may meet other regular walkers. Learn to juggle or belly-dance. Go swimming: find your nearest leisure centre.
Advice for those who answered a or b to question number 14.
Live in the moment. Dwelling on things you could have or should have done in the past will only make it more difficult for you to enjoy what is actually happening in your present. Accept that what is happening in this moment is your reality and that beating yourself or spending your time searching for someone ro soemthing (like fate or bad luck) to blame is not going to change anything. You are where you are because of the choices and decisions you made -- own it. Focus on what feels good about the moment and your life. “I’m still able to spend time with my family, even though the Thanksgiving turkey is burned.” Remember that you may not be able to change your surroundings or your situation, but you do have control over how you react to them. When you feel anxious, breathe. It can be difficult to go with the flow if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Practicing some deep breathing techniques can help settle your nerves and clear your mind. Try shifting your focus to your breathing for a few minutes. Count your breaths up to seven and then back down again. Do this several times until you start to feel calm again. Keep a journal. Keeping a journal is a really helpful way to keep track of situations where it might be difficult for you to go with the flow. Write down what it is about those moments when you feel like you need to be in control and what makes those moments so difficult for you. You can also write down times when you found going with the flow to be easier than usual. What is similar or different about those moments?
To everybody else who hasn't been mentioned: Congratulations, you know how to go with the flow! Just be careful you don't get arrested or end up on the front page of the newspaper for flowing too much!!!!
Summing up: the flow of the universe moves through everything. It's in the rocks that form, get pounded into dust, and are blown away, the sprouting of a summer flower born from a seed planted in the spring, the growth cycle that every human being goes through, and the current that takes us down our life's paths. When we move with the flow, rather than resisting it, we are riding on the universal current that allows us to flow with life. Many people live their lives struggling against this current. They try to use force or resistance to will their life into happening the way they think it should. Others move with this flow like a sailor using the wind, trusting that the universe is taking them exactly where they need to be at all times. This flow is accessible to everyone because it moves through and around us. We are always riding this flow. It's just a matter of whether we are willing to go with it or resist it. Tapping into the flow is often a matter of letting go of the notion that we need to be in control at all times. The flow is always taking you where you need to go. It's just a matter of deciding whether you plan on taking the ride or dragging your feet. Learning to step into the flow can help you feel a connection to a force that is greater than you and is always there to support you. The decision to go with the flow can take courage because you are surrendering the notion that you need to do everything by yourself. Riding the flow of the universe can be effortless, exhilarating, and not like anything that you ever expected. When you are open to being in this flow, you open yourself to possibilities that exist beyond the grasp of your control. As a child, you were naturally swept along by the flow. Tears of sadness falling down your face could just as quickly turn to tears of laughter. Just the tiniest wave carrying you forward off the shores of the ocean could carry you into peals of delight. Our souls feel good when we go with the flow of the universe. All we have to do is make the choice to ride its currents. No matter how hard you try to plan ahead, life is always going to throw surprises your way. Whether you are on a business trip, looking for love, working on a school or business project, or trying to enjoy a night out with friends, there is always the danger of someone or something interfering and keeping things from going smoothly. Learning to go with the flow will help you deal with moments when things don’t go the way you planned. A person who knows how to go with the flow can adapt to any situation and still come out successful. Believe that you are right when you are supposed to be - but be open to changing your current situation at any time.
Thank you @TheCaptain
Just found this contributing so am going to have a go.
Had more nasty surprises in the last week.
1 - use to be C but since I became ill it is B
2 - A
3 - B
4 - C
5 - C
6 - A
7 - C
8 - A
9 - B
10 - B
11 - A
12 - A
13 - C
14 - it was C but it is B now
now to do the reading of what the different choices mean.