Help with the Gemini man.

  • So I met this Gemini man back in October on a night out. I didn’t realise that my drunk self gave him my phone number I never give my phone number out. I spent a few months sad that I had missed out on this beautiful stranger, the attraction was vibrating from the get go.

    I realised in January I had a text message from a random number that I never saw I replied and to my surprise it was him. We got talking went on many dates, I stayed at his flat almost every Saturday. We had amazing sex & he often told me “look at you, look at how lucky I am.”

    He’s 30 and I’m 21 so he is a bit older than me. He’s currently in a custody battle with an old girlfriend who 18 months ago decided he could no longer see is seven year old daughter. When he speaks about it I can see how much it hurts him.

    I am a cancer woman but I am often very guarded with my heart I don’t give it away fast as I’m always skeptical of men, I’ve been hurt a load in the past. However he made me the happiest I have been in years and without realising I have fallen and fallen hard.

    Recently he did a vanishing act for a few days. When we did finally speak we had a huge heart to heart. He’s told me he needs to sort his head out. He feels like he’s losing focus & getting distracted etc. He cares for me, didn’t realise how much I cared and hates seeing or hearing me upset. He wants to be friends but needs to focus on fixing his mind and stuff etc. He said he’s here but he feels empty because of having no contact with his child.

    He told me how amazing I am, what great energy I have & how I am everything he always wanted but he just wishes we met at a different time.

    He’s told me I can call him whenever and he wants to be friends, doesn’t want to cut contact fully.

    He never openly said it but from what he said I get the feeling that because he isn’t seeing his daughter and doesn’t have her in his life it’s like he doesn’t want to be happy and feels guilty for feeling happy and almost content.

    My question is do I stay as his friend even though I am sure I’m almost in love with him. It’s not love but it’s very very close. Do I stick around helping him during this time and wait to see if he will return to me fully and ready or do you think that was just an easy way of ending our “relationship” and distancing himself for something or someone else.

    I can’t lie I am very hurt, I thought I had finally found the man I wanted to have by my side for the rest of my life. The man I wanted to have children with in the distant future, I was completely and utterly in the relationship whole heartedly and wanted to be the person he leaned on when times got hard.

    Now I just feel lost and empty. I have never been so happy before and now it’s been taken from me.

    Any advice would be welcomed.

    Thank you.

  • @cece190 You deserve better than to be his shoulder to lean on and emotional comfort while he sorts himself out, while you hurt in the process. Distance and space is important for your healing, as much as you care about him. Maybe you two can stay friends after some time has passed and youv'e had some distance.