Cancer bf broke my heart so I wrecked his car bcuz I was drunk

  • Cancer bf met me while having a gf lied said he was single last relationship ended a year ago we dated and clicked so quickly he was a sweetheart abusive at times but when I found out about other girl I contacted her and left him eventually he contacted me and explained how unhappy he was and was out looking for real love gave him another chance but he continued the cheating everytime for 3 years. I finally lost it got drunk he came outside to talk but I pulled a knife out on him when I entered the car and he drove off grabbing the knife out my hand turning it around on me and slicing between my thumb and index finger it hurt a lot so I may have hit the steering wheel can’t remember and he crashed the car I feel terrible but I completely lost it and he got me arrested put a restraining order against me and now I’m just in regret idk what’s gonna happen next this isn’t me I just caught him cheating again and couldn’t handle my anger mixed with liquor. Help 😩 I’m never going to hear from him again am I 😞

  • why would you want to see him again???? he was abusive and toxic -
    lying, cheating, disrespecting you. if you think he will change ....he won't. he has shown you that in over 3 years he continued to do what he wanted with no concerns for your feelings or to treat you right.

    he legally made sure he didn't want you around him .... so no I don't think he is going to contact you.

    you need to find help about your anger issues ... being THIS angry could have turned out more serious with someone seriously hurt or dead. if drinking is a problem do something about that too.

    you might consider getting into a happier, spiritual mind set .... and work on yourself and don't worry about having a man in your life for awhile. its time to think about you.

  • Aquastorm, yes this is you - the alcohol just brought out this anger and violence in you that was already there. You need to accept responsibility for your actions - you can blame your nasty ex all you want but the choice of how to behave is always yours. You need to heal this violence inside you - trace its real cause and source which may be caused by some type of rejection, neglect or abuse in your childhood. This guy, though he acted towards you like an immature fool, only brought out feelings that were already there in you. The relationship you have with yourself is more important than a relationship with any other person. Get right with yourself first and then you will find a good relationship with another person. Then you will no longer feel such low self-esteem that you will chase after losers of men who are not worthy of you.

  • hello again ....checking in to see if your still here. How are things going now in your life?
    Need an update. We care about you.

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