Left on the shelf and unhappy



  • One day you wake up and find that you have been left on the shelf.
    None of your life has been happy just a struggle. You have never has a committed relationship and every thing you tried has not worked out.
    Now you are old, ill and have nothing in common with your female friends. you are the odd one out and have always been.
    What do you do now?



  • @mary-grace You're never too old to rebuild, let the past go 🙂



  • @mary-grace LOVE has no age. Move on and love yourself. Rebuild your life.
    My mom Lost my dad at the age of 54.
    They were soulmates and Married for over 30 years. She was devastated but Time is healing her. She is doing well now.
    Time and Tide waits for none. We came to this world alone and we will leave alone. You have to be strong and love yourself first. Things will fall in to places. Good luck to you.



  • Find other "odd people" - you are not the only one on the planet. There are many others with you on that mythical 'shelf'.



  • Most people will be “left” and have their heart broken at some point. All is fair in love and war- right? Actually I don’t even know what that means really. 😂 As much as it hurts, having your heart broken can teach us really great things, the best things. Empathy for one, it challenges people to grow and become independent. It can remind us that nothing is ever “ours”, nothing is permanent. We can choose to be grateful for what we have in the moment, even when it’s hard not to think of the future. When you are able to truly believe that you are destined to live in happiness, you will. We are all meant to come here and thrive together, we aren’t meant to lead comparable lives though. It’s a journey, an exciting one, they shouldn’t always look the same, that would be boring, right?! Being patient with yourself is very helpful, and soon you realize change is sometimes fun. Those unexpected moments are my favorite.
    when my daughter becomes an adult and flies the coop, it will likely break my heart, and I will miss her. But we can’t hold on to people that way, or we suffocate them.



  • @mary-grace
    what do you mean by "Odd one out"?



  • @jayann
    Odd one out
    My friends are married I am not
    My friends have children I do not
    My friends have grans children I do not
    My friends own their own home I do not
    My friends have family I do not
    My friends have financial resources I do not

    Because I do not have a husband if I want to do something I have to always plan on the activity not go ahead because I am at the bottom of a pile. I come after husband, children, grandchildren, home etc.

    This leads to tension within the friendship because an activity planned with a friend can be cancelled at short notice leaving disappointment and financial problems.

    When younger and in good health this does not matter so much but when you get old it does as it leads to isolation. Clubs groups etc is not the same as friends it is like work. One is surrounded by people to whom you have nothing in common (no connection).

    I hope this explains what I mean by odd one out.



  • @andidilly
    ty for you answer
    @Jayann has had to deal with a lot of issues the most difficult of which is the fact that her medical condition is getting worse. the other issue is that she has had a very hard unhappy life and all her hope and dreams will now never come to fruition.

    She in the past tried to look to the future, plan and rebuild her life more than once after other people have destroyed it. She has never had anyone in her life who wants assist in her dreams and hopes. Or to help her by doing tasks which will free her of her problems.

    'jayann has never held onto or been able to hold onto anyone. She has always been on her own.



  • @mary-grace
    Jayann? Mary-grace? Jayann?



  • Yeah, it’s sort of confusing. Is this about you Mary grace? Or jayann? Both? Either way, I’m sorry someone is struggling. We have all been there, or are still there, and it’s a difficult loop to be in. Any book by these authors might help, joe dispenza, Byron Katie, Louise hays. These books will lead you to more good books too.