Feeling like I've lost my way



  • Hello everyone,

    1st time poster. I guess I've come here simply because I feel like I've lost all sense of direction in my life. I'm a Pisces, Sag. rising born on March 15th. I'm having a hard time hanging on to the clear cut path that I thought I'd laid out so nicely for myself. I'm in my 20s, living at home. I feel like I'm living someone else's life. With the exception of my boyfriend, the only bright spot in my life, I feel like I'm in some parallel universe. I'm a creative type, have been performing since I'm young. I keep trying to advance my talents yet I keep falling into the paths of "teachers" who simply want to take advantage of me and suck up my money and time. This has happened twice. Once with an acting teacher, again with a vocal coach. I know I have talent, I just feel preyed upon by these people. I think my time could have been better spent studying with people who genuinely wanted their students to advance, getting some great credits to add to my resume`. Instead I live at home, have a lame part-time job and am mostly dependent on my parents. I feel incredibly infantilized. My parents are both very controlling earth signs, Virgo (mom) and Capricorn (dad). I'm going back to school to earn my JD and hopefully an MFA in acting, but they haven't been too encouraging of either venture. Help! I feel like I've been pushed into a corner with no way out. I feel as if some close to me want to keep me in this little box to control me, to never discover success doing what I love, with love in my life. How do I get out of harm's way and on to the right path? My boyfriend, also a Virgo couldn't be more opposite of these people. I just want to get away from everyone, take him with me and lead a new life. I just don't know how.



  • What you need is an agent to do all the dirty work for you. This way, they do not get paid unless they work.



  • What do you mean by you just don't know how. You know how, it's just going to take a lot of work on you and your boyfriends part. You can't have it both ways, safe at home where you know you can get a meal and sleep in a bed, or go out on your own and pull your life, dreams, together and create the life you really want. Usually the harder path is the right path. Life is tough, and sometimes we just have to jump in with both feet and work very hard for what we really want.



  • If I could can an agent, I could. Competition is fierce. Right now I'm working on getting myself out there more so agents take notice. That's how it works. Get out there and do some small stuff, hope they like it and sign you.

    As for moving out, I'm working on it. That's why I go to work at a job that I feel is just ok, it's allowing me to save money in order to do that.

    I was wondering if anyone could provide some sort of psychic insight to what's going on here and maybe flesh out the path I'm walking down a bit more.



  • Okay so there is your answer, if you're already doing all these things as you say, then you just need to be patient, changes such as you are describing take your time and don't miss any details along the way.



  • Hi Skye, Right now your in a safe environment with your parents. Also, the economy is worse now that it's been in a long time. I congratulate you on sticking to your career path. I think somewhere along the way you will probably have to take a long, hard look at it. I would start by talking to teachers in this area who are not getting paid. Do you have a magnate school for the Performing and Visual Arts in your area. Maybe talk to someone there. You know, parents are parents. If your a creative type it's probably normal to feel constrained. I'm the same type. I would stick it out at home until you finish college. It may not always be comfortable but could be worse. Do you have friends majoring in the same thing. That's about the best I can do. You'll have to be quite devoted to this until you find something--don't give up. I saw a show on TV where kids of famous people have a rough time getting into this, so don't blame yourself. I can tell you that the reaction your getting from your parents is normal with this occupation but keep trying.



  • I'm actually done with college. I'm 23 years old. I feel like a bit of a stunted adult. I'm an only child and a girl, coming from a really traditional home. And I've also heard that earth sign parents tend to be really tough, especially if their child is a water sign. I suppose I came here hoping someone would pick up some sort of a vibration that could point me in the right direction. Right now pursuing my graduate studies is the only way I'm going to be out of the house by next year, but who knows if I will be on my own financially? It has been a really trying time, attempting to assert my own individuality. Getting slammed by other supposed "coaches" and "teachers" that only seek to manipulate me have just drained my energy. I'm hoping someone who is far more gifted than my psychically can feel something coming my way that I should attempt to capitalize on.



  • I can only suggest that you keep trying. finding a mentor of any kind is not easy for the world is full of scammers trying to make money fast by deluding others. All those that are enjoying stardom now, have been in your shoe. keep working, keep saving money, keep looking for a good coach. also get yourself out there. try to join any creative group, maybe in your case drama or singing. every little bit of step will take you somewhere closer.

    I can imagine earth sign is hard as a parent, they are not creative sign. I am married to a Cap lol I know how you feel. they believe in what they see and hold. if they see you earning money from your talent, then they will support you all the way. I'm sure they are supporting you now, they just need to see the proof that your talent will yield return. that's why this is the right time for you to be vigilant. keep working and keep putting yourself out there in any way you can. If you read famous people's bios, you will find that they were found when they were a stripper, a waiter, a model, singing at the subway etc. if there is no group or club to join, go out there and perform your best. you are going to be performing to public a lot if you become famous anyway.



  • Thanks. I realize this, but it never hurts reminding someone of these things. I was just looking for a little psychic insight. I just feel like I'm stuck in a bit of stand still. I definitely know that I need a new job, one that will make taking classes and auditioning easier. Hopefully the rest will follow. Anyone got anything else for me?



  • Ok I am going to deliver you a blunt message...but it does come from a place of love.

    Stop being a victim!!! You have been giving away your power to others that are not deserving and now you are upset about it.

    You don't need anymore physic insight, YOU already know. Being a pisces...your are physic enough on your own. Problem is that you have not wanted to hear the message, or don't like the message that you have been given, therefore you are looking to others to tell you something else. Sorry but the universe is not going to let you off the hook that easy.

    Lets be honest. Living in the human plan is no fun for you. You like to be in the creative happy place in your head. The 'doing' part is hard for you, Yes, you are going to have to work somewhat harder because of this fact. But stop letting others energies push you around. You are giving these people too much power. They know this but they will take it anyway. the boyfriend is good for you because you both are physic and both like living in the happy place together. The parents are also great for you because, much to your dismay, they ground you and make you come out of the happy place. I know that you don;t like this much, but it is what you NEED. You have tp begin to really put the peddle to the metal. Make yourself an action plan and follow it., Others are put into your life for teachings. Instead of getting angry at the teacher, look at the lesson they are bringing to you.

    Here is a great lesson....

    I want you to think of one person that drives your crazy!

    Now, on a piece of paper write 5 things that you can't stand about that person...

    Now, write 5 things that you like about them (may be hard, but you can think of something)....

    Now, I want you to write "I AM" in front of all 10 items. Welcome to the lesson of the smoking mirror. This will help you to step out of the victim place, begin to take ownership for your own life, and put forth the real action in your life. You CAN live your highest and best life...if you only believe, put forth effort, and have faith in the universe.

    You are not alone and are not powerless. You are a spirit and a piece of the 'One'. You are loved.

    Namaste

    Summerotter



  • Thanks summer. I do admit that I like my "happy place" but the Sagg in me (there's quite a bit, trust me) is also very driven and goal oriented. I have a crazy amount of water and fire in me. Going head to head with all these earth signs is making me crazy. Right now I have Saturn on my ass until the 29th, when he will FINALLY move on. I'm just curious as to what's coming around the corner next, because I have fallen so far from the plan I thought I had for myself. I did write about those 10 items, however, and I see what you mean about the smoking mirror. I've registered for my next technique class as well. We'll see what happens. I just hope I've left behind so-called energy vampires for people who are a bit more mentally healthy and are true teachers.



  • I recently learned (within the last year) a very valuable lesson that I would like to pass on to you. Most of my life has been riddled with crisis. Approximately seven years ago I rediscovered God and Spirit. I changed the course of my life with their guidance. One of the things I prayed and prayed for was financial security, I am 49 years old and had never experienced that. Then in the summer of 2004 I required one more of the endless surgeries I have needed over the years due to degenerative disc disease. I had the surgery and expected to recover the same as I always had, fast and back on my feet in no time. At that time I had been employed for 27 years in the same field. My employers depended on me severely for thier billing and income. Much to my surprise, I did not recover as expected. In fact I became very ill and was bed ridden for many months. This went on until my husband and I were completely bankrupt. Then one day my husband was at his place of work (30 years). I was home in bed as usual when he walked in and told me he felt something snap in his neck earlier that day. He told me he had been very dizzy ever since. After changing his clothes and decided to get in bed and take a nap in the hopes that when he awoke the dizziness would be gone. Unfortunately it was the complete opposite. When get got out of bed he had to rush into the restroom and was very sick to his stomach, this went on for almost an hour. I was ready to rush him to the emergency room, but my husband being who he is told me, "No it's just a bug it will pass." I was asleep the next morning when he left for work. I assumed everything was fine, until I saw him come through the door after work. He was pale and looked exhausted (my husband was an avid excersize man and would go to the gym on average 5 times a week.) We still chalked his problem up to a bug. Weeks passed and the dizziness only became worse until he was eventually disabled. By this time I was back at work doing my thing, but I also was having a hard time with my health. I just could not shake this feeling of joint pain, chronic fatigue, low grade fevers, skin rashes, and the continual pain in my C-spine (where I had the surgery in the summer of 2004). I went back to the surgeon to tell him of my strange symptoms that I had always assumed were from stemming from the recovery of my surgery. The surgeon told me that the symptoms I was experiencing had nothing to do with my recovery and that I needed to see my doctor immediately. The next day I went to see my physician and discovered that what I had been dealing with was Fibromyalgia, Sarcoidosis, Sjogrens Syndrome, and Chronic Fatigue. I was floored, and so I began the visits to the endless stream of specialists trying to figure out a way to handle my auto-immune disorders. Nothing was helping and as the months passed I became worse and was now disabled myself. I could not beleive this was happening to us, how could it be that two people in the same house could be rendered completly helpless at the same time.

    It is important for you to know this next bit of info so you can truly underdstand how bad off we were financially. My husband had been married before me to a women who broke his heart so badly it took him 5 years to even start to think about dating again. In the divorce settlement because they had been married almost 20 years the judge ordered him to split everything they owned (which we expected) and to pay her alimony until she re-married or died. This was devastating to us because the judgement was 2000.00 a month in alimony and 1000.00 additionally for child support (they still had one daughter under the age of 18). We left court that day and cried like babies together, it seemed our entire lives had been ripped away from us. After a 24 hour pitty party we got our acts together and decided it was time to move past this devistating judgment and go forward never looking back. My husband and I made a substantial amount of money in our long term careers so we just, as best we could, pushed our illnesses to the side and both began working again and doing whatever we could to make money on the side as well as our 40 hour a week positions. A year passed and we had both been rendered completely helpless and unable to keep up this hectic pace we needed to maintain in order to pay for all of our monthly expenses. Eventually the one child under the age of 18 decided she wanted to live full time with us, so the 1000.00 in child support disappeared, thank goodness. However we were struggling every month and falling behind in all of our bills and house payments due to our illnesses not allowing us to even work a 40 hour week job. Finally, when the child turned 19 (approx. three years after this all began) we decided it was time to make a change in our lives, and we knew it was going to be hard, but very necessary. We had to leave California because it was far to expensive to downsize our lives and have the ability to eat, clothe ourselves and pay rent there. So to make an already long story short, we lost our home to foreclosure and were forced to file bankruptcy. Since we had lost most of any retirement funds we had through the initial divorce, the day we moved to a more inexpensive state we only had 3000.00 dollars to our names.

    When we reached our destination the miracles began. Everything I had prayed for in terms of financial stability started actualizing right in front of our eyes. My husband had been awarded a substantial amount of money from his California disabiltiy fund. When we discovered he was able to do this, we also discovered so could I. Although both amounts were substantial it still would of never been enough to stay in CA. The amounts we had been awarded were only going to last for 12 months so as you would expect we were worried, what then? That's when another miracle occurred almost simustaneously to eachother. We were both awarded our SSDI benfits due to the severity and degree of our illnesses, the particular illnesses we were both dealing with had no cure and very little treatments available to either of us. Suddenly we found ourselves in the place I had prayed for all those years earlier. We had a place to live, money in the bank, retired, (unfortunately to ill to really do anything like travel, etc.) and we see more of our children (4 in total) after we moved than when they lived 5 minutes from us in CA.

    Now, the part of this story that is so important is, God did answer my prayers, we are financially stable and enjoying our children. Also, the courts releived us of that alimony payment of 2000.00 a month due to our disability's, basically the judge told my husbands ex, enough time had passed since the divorce for her to be able to financially take care of herself. Those were words we never thought we would hear.

    Today, I am grateful that we worked as hard as we did for 30 years because it was due to those years of hard work that we had earned the benefits we had through the social security portion of our benefits.

    The moral of the story, God does answer our prayers, just not always in the time frame we would like and also, not in the way one would expect.

    I hope this puts some perspective in your situation. Keep praying, and be the best person you can even through the tough times. It will all come together in the end.



  • Thanks. I really appreciate everyone's kind words. Like I said before, I've decided to go back to class, at a reputable acting conservatory. I'm still pursuing my law school idea and I'm still working. I was just hoping to see if someone could provide me with some insight into the future. I've seen that on other pages.

    Anyway, thanks so much for your story, myviewpoint. I pray every day and feel the same way, that God does answer prayers, but only when you need them, not when you want them. I just feel a bit turned around right now, like I'm in some parallel universe and that somewhere I'm living the life I'm supposed to, the one I had set up in my head for myself. That's why I came here. It seems to be a very kind community of people who participate here.



  • Namaste Sky!

    Dear, you are not lost...just when you think that you have gone too far, you have not gone far enough. What are your intentions? That relates to career/classes, social, family , friends, etc. Are you really planning or are you reacting from a place of fear? Fear is the absence of love.

    Do this...each day I want you to do at least one 'loving act' for the self. That could be getting a bath, doing the dishes, wearing your favorite sweater. Anything and everything is an act of love. Be present and mindful when you are doing each thing and repeat to yourself "this is an act of love for me".

    Watch your thoughts, for they manifest your reality. This is what I mean when I tell you that you are more powerful beyond measure. NO ONE can suck you dry unless you are a willing participant. Set healthy and loving boundaries. Learn to say 'No". And not out of anger, but from the place that this is a loving act for the self. Ask yourself what do you really want from this life and does all things in your space support and enrich this path. Do what is in your highest and best...not someone elses.

    You are not far off the path. Each moment has been bringing you teachers to assist you with moving forward. Trust in what you know!!! Trust is difficult for you...due to heart ache and disappointment. But not everyone is the same. Try your best not to have expecations of other people...they can and will never be able to measure up to that vision you have. Be open to the engery and love of the Universe.

    My son is a Sag. Use the best parts of yourself. Use your great humor and laugh as often as you can. Life is meant for enjoyment. Choose to see the good, fun, love and uplifting parts of your life and each day. don't take things so literal and personal...those judgements and comments are not about you. When others talk in this way they are meerly telling you about themselves. don't own it. Many times people are taken back by the Sag. facial expressions. You look aloof as if you don't really care about anything, especially when put on the spot. But there is nothing further from the truth. You are a thinker and large energies are not easy for you to digest in the moment. do what works for you, not what works for another.

    Make the choice to live in peace, happiness, laughter, and abundance. Look for these moments everywhere.

    "Change the way you look at life; and the life you look at will change" ~Wayne Dyer.

    How true!!

    You are loved~

    Summerotter



  • That is funny that you talk about my being a Sag. I feel like that sign really does consume most of my chart. It's in my Rising, my Venus and a whole other bunch of planets along with some water signs as well. My only grounding aspect is my Taurus Moon, that's it. That's what people get the most of from me at first and I feel it really does influence how people perceive me. They don't always connect the real me with what I put out at first.

    What I want from this life is to make sure that everyone has a great quality of life. Whether it is through practicing the law or using my platform as an entertainer, I want to give a voice to people who have none, which is how I've felt at times. I just found out that I've been living with ADHD most of my life. My parents knew but never did anything to help me deal with it. I've spent my whole life being thought of as the pretty one with the poor work ethic. It's shaped me in good and bad ways. I'm passionate, but I'm also very aggressive and as you've said, have problems trusting people since so many love to either try to take me down verbally or are intimidated by me. I've suffered from bouts of depression because of it. I've had to work so hard to gain control of my life in the few ways I know how. I make sure to take care of my body by eating right, exercising and sleeping enough. But I know that not everyone has those luxuries. I also know not everyone is fortunate enough to go to a learning specialist. I want to reshape the world in that sense, so that everyone can have these opportunities and be their best selves. Acting is where I'm my best self, it's where I feel the most alive. I want it success in that field so badly. That's where I fell in with some "energy vampires" and now I'm here. I'm trying to get back into classes again, but my job is giving me a hard time about it.

    I have to ask, how do you know that I'm not far off my own path?

    Thanks again summer,

    Skye


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