Feeling so empty
I feel so empty and hurt right now, i don't know where else to turn.
My boyfriend just ended things, i was so in love with him. It's hard for me to trust and love but i went with it this time and now i just feel so alone.
He struggled breaking up with me, telling me i'm beautiful, all he's ever wanted in a woman and he doesn't even know if he's doing the right thing. His reason apparently that he's not sure he can be in a relationship, he has too many financial problems and couldn't give me what i deserve.
Our relationship had been wonderful, he was so caring and attentive. We argued Saturday, but made up...by Monday he was literally hugging me all night telling me how much he loves me, how what we have is so special, how I am clearly made for him. The look in his eyes said he meant it all.
How did we go from that, to suddenly him ending things today. He looked sad, but not hurt.
I'm so confused and so upset, i don't know what to do.xx
Hi Airgirl2009, Just try to give it some time. Maybe that's what he really means, ther is so much pressure out tyhere and hard times. Have you thought about talking with him. I would advise you to just sit back and give it some time. By the way what signs areo you guys? Let me know. Thanks
Thanks for your reply. I'm Aquarius, he's a Taurus.
We had talked about the money situation, i reassured him that his problems were not so great, and they def did not make me love him less. I offered useful ways to help him and to be there for him, and tried to come up with good advice. All i could do was let him know that he was enough for me, i assured him he didn't need to take me out all the time.
He would take me to great places and treat me well, he has money but he has debt that he has neglected, which i didn't know initially. Maybe i didn't know the full story.
I feel i can't beg him to not finish us, if i did that i would always wonder if he truly wanted to be with me.
I just can't stop hurting, and just can't understand why the seemingly sudden change of heart...just yesterday he told me how happy he was, how he had missed me last night...just doesn't add up.x
I think something legally threatening has cropped up that he doesn't want to tell you. He'd kept his debts quiet until now and this new development is one more thing he doesn't want to burden you with. He's been a bit silly with money and now he's paying the price. He just doesn't want to bring you into it as well. Didn't look hurt, eh? Trust me, he IS hurting, but feels this is the right way to go at the moment so that gives him some (little) comfort. I'm getting the word "duplicity" here, but can't see exactly where that sits. Either he has almost lived a double life or some other thing which puts him in two places, so to speak. The "other" place is one he needs to get out of, so worthy is right: give this time. He has made some rather big mistakes in the past and now sees how these mistakes are affecting the best thing in his life: you.
When he does return ... and I say WHEN, don't question him too much on why he went. Just let him get round to it in his own time. But he'll be burden free then and won't have any skeletons left hiding in his closet. It is better for you both this way; he's quite a wise man who'se learned by his errors, so as hard as this will be, wait it out and you'll soon be smiling. Within a year.
Hope this helps
you said he struggled breaking up with you, so he didn't really want to. he felt he had to for some reason, and one of these reasons is money. let him work it out. offer him your friendship but be prepared to not seeing him as often as usual. money problem might cost him lose his house and possessions and he has to work overtime to get it all back.
this is a lesson that the universe sent him about money management and he is learning it. he just needs time off from everything else because he wants to learn it fully. when he masters it, he will be back stronger than before. be his friend, casual. this way when he is down he knows he has you. when things are settled, it is you he will come back to. good luck.
I'm so jealous goood luck
Oh my goodness, i'm shaking reading that. Thankyou so much.
Hearing your words just felt like you know everything that has been going on. He did touch on legal issues and i know he is worried sick about it.
I wonder about the word duplicity, because our first (and last) argument this wekend came about when we bumped into his ex. He was concerned for her welfare and i argued she isn't his responsibility anymore.
He assured me it is only his caring nature that made him concerned and his true feelings were for me. I trusted him, and still do. Maybe wrongly but i don't believe he still wants his ex. Just coincidental that she was the reason we argued, then a few days later we are breaking up.
I can't put into words how much of a calming effect your words have had on me, i posted on here out of sheer desperation, and being sick and tired of people telling me 'time is a great healer'. I know and knew that...i just wanted some clarity and you have truly helped me hopefully get some sleep tonight.
Hi, Well, alot of people are having financial problems. I'm gonna be blunt. If you are offering help and are supportive, he doesn't need or want your help. So, is he planning on dropping-off the face of the Earth. No. In fact, this period of silence won't last very long. In other words, he isn't in seclusion meditating on his financial woes. Any single-minded person would love the idea of a supportive partner helping. Forget this guy and I'm sorry about your pain. You sound like a wonderful person.
so you were arguing about his concern over his ex welfare. if he still cares about her then probably breaking up with you not only because of money. do what you feel is best right now. because if he still cares about her and now he has money problem, it will be way too complicated you may not like it anyway. he may not want her back, but he still cares for her.
I don't generally like taurus men, but I find that they can be caring and attentive sometimes. although this doesn't mean they are greatest personality. so he could be telling the truth when he said he is just concerned.
Thankyou for your replies. I know I have to just look after myself right now and move on.
That would be easier if i felt I had the answers to why we actually split, or some guidance. However it's the conlict of his emotions that confuse me the most.
As much as it would be easier for me to find bad things to say about him, i really can't. He was also so caring, attentive and I believe honest with me. I don't begrudge him caring for his ex in that way, she has a lot of issues and when they broke up (9months before he and I got together) she threatened to hurt herself a lot, and was quite a strain on him emotionally.
I guess it's natural for him to care, one of the reasons I love him.
Our argument about it wasn't really a shouting match, we always talked and discussed things. We were never firey with each other and very rarely disagreed. He was honest with me about wanting to make sure she was okay......the way I view it is, it would have been easy for him to do that behind my back, but he didn't, he kept me in the loop so really I had no reason not to trust him.
Maybe seeing her didn't mean he wanted her back, but maybe it made him realise his feelings for me were not what they should be. I struggle with that theory too...as i am a firm believer in the eyes never lie, and when he looked at me I have never felt so loved or so cared about.
I guess the whole reason I am struggling so much is because I haven't been through this, usually my relationships end for a reason we both understand.
Cris....thankyou...I did manage to sleep last night.
I usually clash with Taurus, a standing joke between him and I was that when we first met and I found out his sign I pretended to head for the door...my usual reaction. But he was like no other Taurus i have ever met, or man for that matter. Anyway i don't know if it makes a difference but his birthday is 25/4/76 and mine is 15/02/80
There is no easy fix for this. i would, however, like to recommend the daily hexagram reading for you. it you will let these gentle guides help you, and you try not to control so much what is going on around you, you will find that every change eventually brings you to where you need to be. you need faith to see what you learned from the last relationship, and use it to get you to the next level.
Thankyou Sherylbear, i have never heard of these...anymore info would be great.
There has been a change of circumstance.
My ex just turned up, with flowers and full of 'sorry, i have made the biggest mistake ever'.
Has shocked me to the core, i'm trembling, he wants to talk...i'm scared to, i'm scared he will talk me round, althouhg i want him to i am also scared that he hasn't thought things through enough and will hurt me again.
I just don't know what to do.
Was he lying to me, does he genuinely want me, can i trust him not to hurt me like this again.
Airgirl2009, Just go with your heart. I know you will learn how to trust again. But follow your heart, only you know how much your allowed to to take from a person, or you know when it's time to let go. The final decision is yours.