Wonder if I can have psychic insight on my situation...
I want to ask about my ex fiancé. I feel it maybe time to move on. My name is Felicia (03/16/79) his name is Roderick (01/01/81) I have been told he may be my twin flame / soul mate. WE have been apart for 2 months, and I miss him terribly. He says he misses me and loves me, but still too hurt. we both hurt each other. Is there any chance we can fix this? And have healthy relationship again? Or should I accept its time to let go and move on?
You are definitely not twin flames, but you are probably teaching soulmates. I don't feel this relationship can work out for a long term romantic situation though, Felicia. The focus of the relationship, and the barometer of its success, is the degree to which it can achieve relaxation, fun and ultimately contentment. However, it can suffer from conflict as you have found out, since you are such a free spirit who must do things in your own inimitable way, and you can feel inhibited by Roderick’s insistence on doing things his way. He can feel perpetually frustrated when life does not go according to his plan. But he can also get bored quickly and become controlling. Yet he desperately needs to deviate from the familiar, learn from his mistakes and accept the unexpected a bit more. At this point in your life, Felicia, you need the opposite - less change and conflict, and more stability and security. The answer to maintaining a relationship between you is to keep things light and breezy, which can be possible if you turn on the charm and seduce Roderick into relaxing and letting down his guard. But lightness can steal away the profundity required for a truly close romantic relationship.
Roderick tends to live for his work, and his ability to enjoy himself and have fun is directly related to how fully he can accept himself and how positive his self-image is. You have a great deal to teach him in this respect, but you can have the opposite problem - namely, that you may be too content with yourself and can lack the instinct for self-criticism. You can also choose keeping your cool over showing passion at the wrong times. The two of you will likely turn away from the relationship in the end, thinking that whatever it offers may not be worth the effort it requires. And marriage can be even more demanding than a love affair. Friendship here may be more successful in achieving a relaxed and enjoyable state, but it may sacrifice depth in order to do so. The two of you run the risk of being 'fair-weather friends' who are not really there for each other in times of need.
@thecaptain thank you so much for the insight! I really think you hit it on the nail. I have really been doing a lot of thought on our situation. And I was not happy. I am a very passionate loving person, and he is very boring selfish person. He ended up cheating and blamed it all on me. (Narcissistic behavior) And for a while I believed it was my fault.
I do believe he could have been a teaching soulmate. I had a drinking problem... and since we broke up it’s like the fog has lifted and I have been sober. If anything good came out of this, I can walk away and say our break up got me sober.
Thank you so much. I just hate being alone but think it’s time to accept that’s the phase of my life right now. As I can’t see making myself vulnerable for love again. He mentally and spiritually drained me!