Gemini40 last edited by
I am ready to now move on in a relationship, have been separated early this year. DOB 14/06/1978 any advice would be appreciated thanks in advance.
TheCaptain last edited by
make sure you have worked through issues of taking charge of a relationship and actually having time in your busy life for devoting your attention to (finding and keeping) a partner. Sometimes you may get so caught up in work or your interests that you fail to devote enough energy to those you love. You are basically a loner at heart - what you really want is to be your own person, to be the centre of attention, to discover yourself in different life situations, and to surround yourself with people who feed you energy. To achieve this, you need to refocus your attention away from yourself and discover the nature of the people who have been drawn to you. Once you discern which people truly admire you and want to support you, and once you begin to feed them energy, the energy that comes back to you will create the situation you want.
When feeling internal pressure to be ‘good’ and ‘improve’ and ‘do right’, you can have a nervous hyperactivity about you and you may have trouble sitting still - unless you’re tired - or keeping your mouth shut. You can be so anxious to please other people that they can feel uncomfortable around your high-strung energy and sensitivity. A major challenge is finding out what you really feel in contrast to what you think you 'should' feel. You will face situations throughout your life that reflect to you the need to reconnect with your own authentic needs and desires, as opposed to airy-fairy ideals or other peoples’ desires. This perfectionism can negatively influence and intensify the innate self-doubt of your sensitive and refined nature. Because you tend to measure yourself against ideal standards, the idea that you are here to live with the ‘highest integrity’ may seem impossible or overwhelming, especially since you may interpret this to mean ‘perfect integrity’ rather than simply following the wisdom and messages of your own heart. You have a strong sensitivity to criticism, since you are already vulnerable to other people’s opinions. Given the idealistic standards to which you compare yourself, you can periodically feel disheartened or discouraged, sometimes giving up even before you begin.
You may wear a mask of assurance, but for this confidence to stabilize, you have to balance the tendency to swing from manic over-confidence into doubt and depression by recognizing this as a challenge associated with your life path, a hurdle you are here to overcome. You can learn to acknowledge self-doubt and vulnerability, but act with confidence and then move through it. Once you accept yourself and others as you and they are, you will open yourself to the central challenge of your life: the wisdom to live as an inspiring example to others. Inspiration doesn’t require heroics or fame, but rather living an ordinary life based on higher spiritual laws found in the heart instead of living on mental ideas or on physical impulses. When you stay in touch with your feelings, fewer words are necessary. It is important that you are as honest as possible with your partner to avoid conflicts and tension later on. You must start doing and being who and what YOU want, not what others want. Once you get past overly perfectionist judgments about yourself and other people and stop imposing your too lofty standards, you will open up to relaxed and accepting relationships.
Gemini40 last edited by
@thecaptain thank you so much. That I will follow through xx