We were briefly together, still can't get him off my mind a year later
Hello everyone... Decided to post this here as I'm hoping maybe someone will stumble upon it who will feel a connection with me and can help. I've tried calling the hotlines, but I guess it hasn't helped as I'm still here today full of questions and doubts about what happened a year ago... Whether anything will still happen for us in the future? I can't explain this connection I feel with him... still. Why? And I keep telling myself, if it's meant to be it will happen. Am I kidding myself?
We were together for a month in August last year. Everything about him and his surroundings made me feel like home. But I didn't realise what he (let's call him G) meant to me until it was suddenly (and completely) over! Even as he was standing there telling me it's over, the pull between us was unbelievable (pretty sure you could actually see the tension). And the way he looked at me... It was like his body was telling me the exact opposite of the words coming out of his mouth. I've always felt I should have fought harder but at that time I was so confused and overwhelmed myself. Ever since I've been trying to figure out what happened but with no luck and G has ignored every attempt I've made to get in touch. It was particularly hard for the first 6 months (I was depressed and self-destructive, drinking every night, couldn't stand to spend one second alone). Between then and now I've felt several times that this is it... I've moved on now, I'm over him. And as soon as it starts getting less busy at work etc - he's back on my mind and in my heart. I met someone this year who I felt chemistry with and got along with really well. It was exciting and great. But... my mind still drifts to G. I'm not bitter, I'm not crazy (I don't think). This isn't keeping me from living my life. But he's constantly present in me and around me. It's confusing me and I ask myself - is this really only me? Can anyone please let me know what vibes they are getting from this? Maybe this is my shot to finally move on. Appreciate any help. Much love x
Sorry, forgot the birthdays... Mine is 07/08/1981 and his 24/10/1975.
I don't consider myself psychic, but I do pick up on things sometimes. What I'm feeling reading your words is a very strong energy, it feel powerful, but at the bottom it feels sort of muddy and sluggish. I'm picturing a river, with a muddy riverbottom. I feel that you were higher in the water, at the part where it's just pure rushing water, whereas G. was feeling more of the riverbottom in your relationship. That's not to say that there is anything wrong with G., it's just that he wasn't as ready for everything that goes into a relationship as you were. I'm a firm believer in not forcing any relationships. If both people aren't committed, then the only fair solution after reasonable effort and/or counseling is to let the relationship go.
I hope that helped you a little. I wasn't sure I should answer but I got that "river-analogy" feeling pretty intensely so I thought I'd chime in.
Light and love,
Thanks so much for your feedback... Glad someone heard my cry for help:) I do agree with you that you can't force a relationship. Truth is, his words convinced me that a relationship was what he wanted (while I was trying to convince him it's not what I want). You're right, i think this situation was quite confusing for both of us, but out of the two of us I believe he was more confused as some of his actions were that of someone who is panicked. Too right too soon can do that I guess. Or maybe it just wasn't the time for us.
Anyway, I'm really grateful you decided to chime in. At least I'm not imagining the strong energy. Perhaps that's the reason I'm finding it difficult to let go. I am sure I'll be ok in the end. Light and love x
A year ago today was the last time we spoke. And today is his birthday so just wanted to send a little bit of goodwill into the Universe... Hope he's doing well. Wish him a wonderful birthday and a great year ahead. And light and love, always x