How Do We Let Go Of These Men We Are Obsessing Over????
so how do almost all women seem to wait for the guy to make the move, when you women feel so strongly about your man? and say im not gonna wait around forever! what the hell? LOL, but then again it kinda works both ways, like me, i like this girl alot but i havent done anything to make "the move", but then i can say that im not gonna wait around forever either, cause she cant make up her mind on what she wants, or maybe she has? but i dunno cause she doesnt talk ,ughh geezz
well, me and her both sat down and had a talk about things, and it seems everythings fine, and she admitted that she avoids answering hard questions cause shes afraid to say certain things, which i said ok and left it alone, when she asked me "ok what else did you wanna talk about? cause you were pretty angry before" i brought up how her not talking to me was the main things, but then i said that the "i knew you would always leave" comment really bothered me, and she said it out of spite, to get me mad, which is understandable cause i said "i thought about leaving" to get her mad lol, but im sure she noticed that there was still something i wanted to say but couldnt, "i love you" but she cant say it either lol (all the signs are there) ughhh, other than that everythings back on track,(in my mind) i dunno maybe she was thinking thats what i wanted to say? and maybe dissapointed that i didnt, only time will tell, i could tell that she was alot more talkitive around me which is good,(been over a month since seeing eachother) i went to her school to talk, and she missed her class wanting to talk to me more haha (talking about all sorts of subjects)and were going to see the new twilight movie when it opens.
god im sooooo glad we got stuff straight, but i know more needs to come out
That's awesome! I'm really glad you were able to break the ice........it seems like you are both waiting for a sign from the other one that it is "safe" to expose how you really feel about each other (and that is what is going on in my situation too). Maybe you could let her know that there was more you want to talk about, that in time you can talk more.
It's so much better actually knowing what is going on rather than assuming the worst because you don't know. I am so happy for you.
I sent my guy a text today to let him know that I am there when he needs me, in an unconditional caring way. I don't want to push him, but let him know I care too much to walk away. When I see him face to face I'll be able to talk to him properly. I'm going to do......going to be brave!!!! LOL!!! :-))
Hope you enjoy the new Twilight movie, my daughter and I are hanging out to see it.
Good advice....I think we tend to hold on because we spend time trying to make our relationships to work and give it everything we have, and when it falls apart, we are affraid to start over, it is a bit difficult to date and tell a person who you are and wonder if they like you and such. i personally hated being single and now i am single again, only this time is because of infidility not death .
I think death was easier on me than this. .
Oh well I do love myself and know i am a good catch, but do they? who knows what tomorrow will bring.
I know it's scary right now and the changes seem so huge and you wonder how you are going to get through it all, but you will. Just take it one step at a time, one day at time. You will grow in so many ways and become a much stronger person. You will find a new life direction that will take you on a much better path. Just be true to yourself.
Do not take his infidelity on board, that is his problem, not yours. Another way to look at it, is that not all relationships are meant to last for ever. Some are just for a time and serve their purpose and then we need to move on. But don't let that stop you from opening your heart and loving again. To love is to live in my opinion.
I have learnt being on Tarot, that no matter how young or old we are, no matter what country we live in, no matter what we do for a living, no matter whether we are male or female, what we all want deep down is to love and be loved. Loving is giving and sharing and growing and experiencing and spiritual (some of us just need to look at it from a different perspective.)
I wish you all the best on your journey.
I read about your situation and its unbelievable how similar our situations are. And i think i might be able to help.
I know this might sound strange but i found my answer in meditation. I have an overactive imagination and I would have fantasies about how things could be between me and the guy in my life. Until one day, i realised that none of what i imagined manifested in real life. so i meditated to quiet my mind and minimise the fantasies. then i got to the root of the problem.
I asked myself "what does this guy represent to me?". The truth was he represented what i could have and what i've been looking for for a long time: a caring, giving partner. Realising he stands for something that i want, led me to realise why i was in denial. We were simply incompatible but i was addicted to the idea that i could finally have theguy who is as giving as i am.
Letting go of obsession needs a thorough investigation of why you want to make this work so badly. Yes, take care of yourself more but at some point, you're going to realise that you're only taking care of yourself so you can be better for him. The ego is a tricky thing. Think about him and your situation objectively. Then you'll see that what you're actually missing in your life is not him but something you need within.
hope it helps.
Love what blompz shared on here. Yes, all of us need some thorough introspection at times and why only about LOVE? Self-denial is easier but its the road less travelled that holds the solutions to most of our problems. Something I'm also gonna try soon
yes, I am asking myself what i am missing, and to tell you the truth, I just want to be loved and appreciated, for who i am. I miss him but know there is someoneout there for me, I have always wanted someone to love me unconditionally. I have friends who care about me and i care about them too.
Is it possible to get what we really want?
its very difficult to let go of somebody that you really feel you love and find rather intrueing and get along well with, maybe he is meant to be their, and you are not meant to move away from it, when you go to bed at night ask archangel michael to assist you in putting this man at a distance in your thoughts, ask him to help you not feel so in it, have faith and trust in this angel as if he cannot assist with this process he will ask another angel to help you, you sound like a very together lady, i have read your assistance for others on this web page before, just allow yourself to feel fully the emotions you are feeling, really and truly allow and trust in the process that occurs, i hope that some of this if all does help you, god bless you
Thanks Blompz, Astrodame & 228 for sharing your thoughts and opinions.
Thank you for your kind words. There have been some developments, he has told me he is seeing someone else and at this time I have to let him go. Actually I have told him that I won't wait any longer and pretty much that this is it. He's needs to grow up and work out his own stuff. Now IF he comes back in future, things will need to be different. He will need to prove himself because I won't go back to the same situation. So if it is meant to be, he will be back, if it is not, then he won't. I will not be waiting or holding my breath. I will be focusing on myself, I've got a few things in the pipeline and sorting out my own life. I will be open to meeting other people and moving on. The hard thing is as much as I try not to think about him, somehow my mind brings things back around to him. So I will definitely try what you have suggested about asking Archangel Michael.
Thank you both , for sharing with me and helping me as well. I will take my angel and ask him to distance my soon to be ex so i can have clarity.
I feel so much better since i 've been on this site. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!
@Wenchie --- Love what you wrote in ur last post...THATS IT...thats how we women must take charge of our own life!!! Best of luck for this new course in ur life :):)
I realised I needed to change my way of thinking and my way of looking at this situation. It is about me now and what I need and want. My needs and wants were not being fulfilled in that "relationship" so it's time to be open about allowing a new relationship to unfold that will. Damn it I deserve to be happy and have a guy who loves, support and encourage me for the person I am and who will treat me like gold and want to spend time with me. We all deserve it, so why are we often settling for less? I didn't leave my ex husband and get out of an unhappy marriage to put up with this nonsense and settle for less than what I want and deserve! It just took me a while to wake up to myself.....but Hellalujah.... I DID!!!!!!!!
good on you wenchie, you are way to good for that, you go girl, many blessings and much love to you
Im having the same problems as you trying to stop being obssessive over my lover, Cancer. How ever I party and I do me, but when im alone its then i find myself thinking about him obssessively, checking the phone and emails for him. I tried evrything in the book " Donts" if u want to chase your man away just to get rid of him. I will feel much better if he leaves me alone. ive tried to leave him but as soon as he contacts me I respond. Trust me Im Taurus and stubborn and know all the right answers and smart, but when it comes to this guy im dont think straight at all. Ive tried the space thing, only lasted for 5 days. I even offered to give him space to think about me and what he wants from me. he said hell no, he knows what he wants and he dont need no time to think about that, yet when he is around me he the only public display of touching is on the knee. In bed he knows what i like but dont do it, he does but only when i tell him. and he basically acts like one of my hanging out buddies.
So everyone should I walk away ot try. by the way we have been dating for 7 months. he is Cancer and I am taurus.
wenchie>>SO.......how do I do this? How do I let go of him, stop thinking about him, stop the expectations and just let things happen as they should naturally?
Sandran712>>>I used to have this problem.But, having a hobby is the best way I found to forget a man.I do cross stitching.Idle hands are the work of the devil.When you are so consumed and fixiated on a man's thoughts.I keep busy.Men think they have you in control when you sit and do nothing but, pining for him.Oh Puhleeez...LOL
LMAO becaz u said we behaving like lovesick teenags and we know better lol
wow ur a good guy
Wenchie I feel sad with you, its the most hear wrenching thing anyone could face. Actually Im crying caz i feel like you right now. Men . sorry but thats how I feel right now maybe in the next second I will see the light but right now I kinda hate them. sorry all.
so many women all hurt by guys, it saddens me, i know that im a great guy and im gonna treat whoever im with like a godess, and say i love them everyday cause you never know when they will be gone anything can happen,but that doesnt mean ill let her be the boss, i need an actual partnership where its even, not one sided, i mean i wouldnt mind doing things for her etc.. but theres a limit of course. and well the girl i found probably doesnt know how good shes got it cause i cant do so many things that i want too cause she doesnt want them now so i sit on the sidelines and pretty much do nothing, i encourge her when she feels she cant win in life, support her in her decisions, i want to know how shes doing in school and actually care, i accept her for who she is as a person and dont wish to change anything about her, but alot of times i lose faith, and feel like im doing all these things for nothing, like im wasting my time and effort, but i think shes worth it so ill still somehow press on, and attempt to be there for her, and i still get shut out everytime. its just draining on me, i need a break i think