I really need a reading regarding my fiance wanting to relocate for new job



  • Me For Best Whats Is Isnt Feel I Move That Job A For Relocating Of Thinking Is Myfiance .Acceptable Are Options Of None Where Dececision Difficult A Facing Im*****



  • Well, to be practical, can your fiancee get a job where you are now?



  • @thecaptain no he had hard time getting one with insurance for his boy. Would you be able to do a reading for me



  • Well, if he cannot get a job where he is, then he must look elsewhere unless he can start up a home business of some kind. No use wishing he could be nearer to you, if he must move, he must! What is his profession?



  • @thecaptain he already started this job 2 hours away. Im back home with his son. He comes home on weekends. His plan is to move down there. Which i desperately dont want to go. He is truck driver. He working with his uncle. But he is not changing professions. He said he is doing this job cause he needs to do for his son, and planning on moving there. We have fought and fought over this and had no such luck. As it stands now i either move with him or we brake up and i go back living to a household where someone lives that i had a serious issue with growing up. Im in lose lose situation. I have questions that need answered, 1. Is he gonna keep this job? 2. Will he end up moving down there as planned here in few weeks? Where is our relationship likely headed, will r.ship survive this ordeal? How would my mom/family react if i did move there?



  • @vettech78, it seems such a good practical plan - what are you so opposed to it? Why do you want to stay where you are, even though you may be putting your livelihood and your son's future at risk??



  • We only have one car and it is his, he has been known to tell me i cant use it when we are fighting or when mad at me. My mom needs my help at least one day week and we also like to visit with another as well. But it would be 60 dollars in gas and 2hours each way. Thats insane every week. My kom wont come to visit me cause my fiance had a fallout with my family that i explained to you months back. And it will be in middle of no where, this move overall will just not be good for me at least and my friends and family who are aware of all the issues i have with going that far agree with me as well. Even some women on his side agree too! My fiance means well with good intentions but he has difficult time putting himself in others shoes, iv bern considering just moving with him and seeing how it goes or find way to take greyhound to cleveland every weekend. I didnt want to move that far and definately not that far without a car in jy own name. We have fought about this particular job in past and i always refused to go and he wouldnt take it. But having his son it likely put pressure on situation.



  • What would you have him do about a job then?



  • @thecaptain Would you possibly be able to do a reading for me? I would really appreciate it, thank-you



  • @vettech78, I foresee three pathways open to you at the moment. One, you and your fiance move together away and either your resentment at the move grows stronger until you break up or you willingly and uncomplainingly adapt to the new circumstances and embrace the change. Two, you stay where you are and your fiance moves away to find work, but the long distance relationship becomes increasingly estranged. Three, you both stay where you are and your fiance retrains for a new type of career.



  • @thecaptain Thank you for response, based on this reading which one these scenerios will be most likely outcome? What does this r.ship/situation look like in 3 months from now? Do we marry? And if so, what is most likey time frame



  • @vettech78 the choice of scenarios is yours. Also how the relationship goes is your choice, depending on how much you are willing to compromise.



  • @thecaptain ok, is this a job he is going to be at for any extended period of time? I had a sample pychic reading and she said he wont be at this job for long, that it will be a springboard for another job thats little closer to cleveland. But i never did a reading with this person before, and not sure of her accuracy and didnt have enough time to ask her how long he will be this job. At the end of the day what does my fiance really want? Of course I dont want to lose him, and likely do whatever i can to keep us together. Im so scared, none of the options appeal to me, so i feel like im in a lose lose situation, but i really feel he is the one for me. We are basically are already a family here, even though we areng legally married yet. Even with his 8yr old sons behavior issues he already sees me as stepmom. We even have a dog together to some it may sound silly, but being a vettech graduate i develop very strong bonds with my pets, she is technically his, but im mom lol.,we raised her together. If i were to make this move, what will be most likely outcome?



  • @vettech78
    I see the "in God's hands card". There are opportunities for you that you must trust in. I know you feel trapped and as if the weight of this decision is all yours. It must be his as well. You know what is right for you and if you go against your needs you only disrupt the guided plan for you. You should not be the one fearing losing him more than he is of losing you. You didn't share but I see he can be very controlling. He is insecure and hides it under a tough exterior. He really prefers you not rely on anyone but him. He doesn't trust people in general. In fact he doesn't have good relationship skills with people and it hurts his job prospects. He imagines others are thinking bad of him, he hears slights or offenses that don't exist. He has a hard time feeling like he fits in around others. I can tell you for certain his job is not going to last Just have patience and avoid any pressure from him. I know this is not what you want to hear but you are not meant to rely on him for financial support. He is who he is. Holding down a stable job is always going to be a challenge for him. YET, he can not trust enough to feel secure letting a woman be the stable bread winner. Focus on taking care of your own needs. You can not take on the burden of his problems. Follow your gut feelings. Your mom needs you and you need her. She is not a bad person and does not deserve his disrespect. It is a red flag that he would not respect your need to be close to her at this sage of her life. His son also needs you and you can be the stable presence in his life. He is not facing the truth behind his job issues. Jobs can be hard to find for everyone sometimes but this man is not facing up to the real issues he must address and you can not do that for him. He will keep making excuses. It will always be someone elses fault. When this job falls through he will blame other things but it will be because he just has very poor communication skills and does not get along with others. He is a loner. Save yourself all this worry. Stay put. The job will not work out. BLESSINGS!



  • @vettech78 can you give me both your birthdates so I can assess what you want and your long term future?



  • @blmoon thank you for your input. Yes this situation is complex. We have been together for 8yrs,and its been the best years of my life, we are deeply in love and we get along most of the time, the only time there is conflict is when fiances stress us out. But those times are very brief. Whether he is on good terms with my mom or not he always encourages me to help and see her. He wants my moms approval and affection, my mom can be touchy so you have to watch what you joke about w/her. This job has been up for grabs couple times in past and decided not to move forward cause i diii didnt want to move that far. Cause didnt want to lose me. He just recently got temporary of his 8yr son, whose mom lives in another state, and she basically washed her hands of him. She doesnt know how and or dont want to handle him. In the field my fiance is in he has tried working for couple different companies. The one where he would lease semi to drive fell thru because the truck had many mechanical issues and was becoming a money pit. This past job he took had him going out of town 2-3 nights per week, and not very good health coverage. My stepsons parents
    And i all agreed to try to take him off his meds for ADD,etc.. but it didnt seem to be helping. But he needs to be evaluated again and get this figured out before he gets worse. So now it is imperative he gets health coverage asap. Our household fell into a financial crisis in last 4-5 months for several different reasons. His uncle suggested again to try this job out cause his uncle makes $1500.00 take home per week and awesome insurance for family/spouses. After discussing my concerns w/my fiance he said then we will have2 find a way to make this move work for all of us, and even me. He said he would give me the gas money to visit my mom once a week. And i use the jeep until he gets second car. And with 2 cars he said he is willing to move 1 hour closer to cleveland, so ill be within 1 hour from cleveland cause thats the time frame i said i would be comfortable at. But til then it will like 1hour-50 min. He and his were devasted at the thought of me not going. My man,my future stepson,and even our beloved beagle all want and need me and dont want to lose me over a silly one hour commute. Even all my friends, even the older-more wise more experienced ones thought i was being childish about it. He wants2 make a better life for us. He ready to go to courthouse and marry,but i was the one who wanted to wait for more of a "real wedding" which is materialistic and diva like of me. Nothing super glamorous just more then courthouse lol. Even my mom thinks he should go for a job that will provide us a better future. Of course she not enthused about the distance, but not trying to discourage it either.
    Since we have been together iv always been able to contribute my share, with the exception of the last 4 months, i was working for a client that paid me VERY well, alot more then he was making,but with my high weekly income and whatever he was making at the time we were catching up and even getting ahead. But i lost that client. As for being reliant on him, my mom and him have both discussed with me that i shouldnt be reliant on him or any man. Needy women are a major turn off to him,he has always expresed that he thinks women should be at least able to pull their own weight, or at least make an honest attempt to do so, which again my mom and he both said that to my face when when all 3 of us sitting around the table lol. You mentioned him being controlling, which im having hard thinking of some examples, he has tried to get his own way from time to time, but 96% of time I win lol. When it comes to money/budgeting etc.. he wants me to be the boss,cause he openly admits he sucks w/money. So he asks me permission to buy something w/his own money, which i always laugh lol. You are saying this job wont last? Do you have a timeframe to go by? He been working down for few weeks now,staying at his uncles. Next week he is meeting w/new landlord and enrolling his son in school. We should be able2 move in around Nov 1st or so. He can have challenges w/his people/communication



  • @thecaptain My birthdate is November 10th 1978 and his December 2nd 1979



  • @vettech78
    OK...now I am confused. Was this YOU posting:
    We only have one car and it is his, he has been known to tell me i cant use it when we are fighting or when mad at me. My mom needs my help at least one day week and we also like to visit with another as well. But it would be 60 dollars in gas and 2hours each way. Thats insane every week. My kom wont come to visit me cause my fiance had a fallout with my family that i explained to you months back. And it will be in middle of no where, this move overall will just not be good for me at least and my friends and family who are aware of all the issues i have with going that far agree with me as well. Even some women on his side agree too! My fiance means well with good intentions but he has difficult time putting himself in others shoes, iv bern considering just moving with him and seeing how it goes or find way to take greyhound to cleveland every weekend. I didnt want to move that far and definately not that far without a car in jy own name. We have fought about this particular job in past and i always refused to go and he wouldnt take it. But having his son it likely put pressure on situation.

    Your posts sound like two different people! You now sound happy about moving and you paint a different rosy picture of your man than I picked up. Sounds like you solved your problem. BLESSINGS!



  • @vettech78, 2018 for you is a year of big changes and decisions but also opportunities to expand and grow by meeting the challenges you face. It is a time to take risks if you want big rewards. It is not a time to be overly cautious or fearful. Your fiance on the other hand is going through a time of introspection and of needing to be alone to sort himself out. He needs the time and space to think clearly. Next year however his career and financial prospects will be outstanding.

    Your relationship can struggle through a love affair, but it can be much better for marriage. The air of calculation in this relationship indicates forethought and purpose. With each other, both of you are able to be sure of what you want and are willing to make the necessary sacrifices to get it. The result is the potential for great achievement. You and he can be strongly attracted to each other; some type of partnership between you therefore is inevitable. Yet your chemistry is exothermic, meaning that the heat of your reaction isn’t always put to good use. Unless you can focus some of this energy on goals of a higher, more spiritual nature, you risk a damaging kind of implosion. Your fiance can awaken your sleeping energy, while you in turn can ground his wilder and more flighty tendencies. A love affair will be intense at the start, but feelings can sharply and quickly fall off. Like a lightning rod, you can pull your fiance’s 'fire' from the sky. That energy is easily lost, but if it can be contained, it will provide a driving current. This is a matchup that can rarely survive on romance or sexuality alone - it needs concrete practical goals to cement it. The project of building a family, career or lifestyle may well be what the two of you want, and marriage can supply it. Your relationship can drive you both on willy-nilly, and in the process, you can undergo a metamorphosis, or at the very least a significant change in your personalities. Career and family ties are often intertwined in this matchup. You can be a strongly controlling force whose guidance your independent fiance may be open to accepting. In business, for example you could handle the finances while he gives the partnership its dynamic public persona. Problems will arise in these areas however when too much is demanded of either person, for versatility is seldom a strength here. A stricter separation of business and pleasure, career and home, and social and personal aspects of life may have to be maintained for the sake of sanity and stability.

    You Vettech must work on developing your self-confidence more so that change for the better does not elude you. You are as confident as you believe yourself to be; change your thoughts about yourself and you can change your world. You won’t attract luck if you are reserved. You need to be excited about everything, so people think of you as inspiring; the more appealing you are, the more likely you are to attract good fortune your way. You have curiosity, intelligence and originality of thought, so your potential for success is considerable. One thing you may struggle with though is understanding other people. You need to learn that, however good you are at your job, if you don’t have the right connections or social skills to promote yourself, you will not get the recognition or success you deserve. Working on your self-confidence and social skills must therefore be a top priority. Fortunately, until the age of forty-two (or sooner if you work on your issues), there will be opportunities for you to step outside yourself and reach out to others; you should take advantage of these opportunities, however hard or frightening they may appear, because becoming unhealthily self-absorbed is a real risk to your chances of happiness and fulfillment. After the age of forty-three, you will reach a turning point when you become more practical, disciplined and goal oriented; again, if you can learn to overcome your inherent reticence or shyness, put the spotlight on others instead of yourself, and resist the temptation to hold back when you should be pushing forward, you will be able to make the most of your remarkable creative potential and achieve almost anything. Though you can come across as reserved or even distant, once you have learned to be more confident in social settings, you will have no problems attracting what you want in life. In relationships of all kinds, you can be intense and passionate, but there is a tendency for you to draw outwardly confident but inwardly emotionally damaged individuals to you. This will continue until you allow yourself to be more assertive.

    Your fiance has both a need for freedom, adventure and travel, and a deep need for recognition from other people that he must outgrow. No matter how much recognition and applause others give him, it will never be enough until he can gain greater self-esteem. This relationship with you can be a good one since you have so much to love and learn from each other; anything could happen in this exciting affair. But your fiance must learn to take charge of his emotions so that he can feel more in control of his life. Until he does, there will be a lot of career changes and moving around. Music especially can be a great therapy for him. There are many sides to his personality, and you will need to adjust to his shifting moods as he can be something of a 'wild child'. He needs someone he can connect with on a deep level, and then he will make a loyal and loving partner. You both in fact must become more practical, goal-oriented and realistic in your approaches to life. Your fiance must learn to establish order and structure in his life, because if he doesn’t, too many changes of direction can lead to confusion and uncertainty. Part of his need to move around so much is his need for freedom and independence. But finding a job he truly loves can give him all the freedom he seeks. He can thrive in work such as education, sales, publishing, media, writing, charity work, and the tourist/travel and leisure industries. After the age of fifty, he will in fact become even more independent, but he will also experience a need to become more humanitarian in his approach. He can be a charismatic individual, but he can also be a problem solver, looking for a deeper meaning or pattern to his life. His inner sensitivity, however, may not always be visible from his colourful, confident front. Once he finds a way to connect and work with his intuition, not only will he be able to intuitively know the answer to other people’s dilemmas; he will be able to take charge of his constantly changing and confusing emotions, find a cause in life that is worthy of his creative talents (which often go unmanifested or unexpressed) , and create the magical pattern of peace and happiness he so richly deserves.



  • @blmoon Im sorry if I made things more confusing, my fiance has alot of vices and habits that can make situations this sensitive more difficult, there are many aspects of this move that we dont see eye to eye on, but at the end of the day he really is a good man trying to do his best to make our future more secure. In my mind "i still think to myself why cant you just a job closer to home?" But i have known him long enough to know he has the best intentions. He is definately not totally innocent in this situation, but neither am i. My fiance had couple job opptunities awhile back, but it would have required him to take the car to work, and i wouldnt have a way around during work week, so i threw a hissy fit and talked him out of applying. So in theory there was a chance i may have been able to prevent this. After reflecting on things and praying on it, I realize that my anger/resentment may be directed a little too much in the wrong direction, and as ticked as i can get at him, I never said he was a bad man, Im sorry if I came off sounding as though I thought he was. As for the move, no I dont want to move, not at all. But Im not so sure if that is a good enough reason to throw everything away that we have either. We have been together too long and love each other too much
    To allow 2 hours to be our downfall, considering our relationship has been thru worse then this. Again Im sorry if it came out as if I was contradicting myself, I may not have explained it very well or worded it wrong. Now i just found out yesterday that my mom/sister are offering to give me my sisters old jeep, cause she just came into large sum of money unexpectedly and bought herself a newer car! Wow, talk about good timing, I guess my prayers and pleading with God paid off. Lol. This makes my decision to try this move alot easier, but doesnt change the fact that I really dont want to move this far. I suppose I need to keep my faith in God, I mean He has already recently proven that with Him anything really is possible. I believe it was you that said that this job may very well not work out for very long, do you see this happening before we have chance to pick up and move or after we have already get down there?