So confused with this cancer
i'm having issues with this cancer guy,am scorpio and he is cancer. we really like each other-i know he does,and he also knows i do. when we get to talking,time is the only pronlem that comes by,but we ignore that. my prob is that this guy is never specific. he tells me that 'may be am in love with you'.then all of a sudden he asks me whether i do love love him. i tell him the truth-i do. my prob is that he is never specific,he even doesn't know if he loves me. i hear he is having a gal friend,but he tells me not to believe the rumours. and i stopped that-i asked him the truth and he said that the rumours were false. it was ok. then he calls me one night,and says that he is in love,he has never been in love. but he never tells me whether he loves me. and when i act positive and tell him how i feel,he makes the eyes and laughs at me. i think he just wants to see what i do,or something.
he calls me and talks for hrs,texts 4m morning to evening 4 a week,then he takes off,for say 3 months. then he comes back and says hi. and this is a big prob to me-am a scorpio,u know. i always want him around. but he leaves me,and then sits back to look,he tells me i shud act-by talking to him all the time and all. but when i do it,he doesn't respond to it. he only laughs at me,and i feel stupid.i feel needy in an instant relationship. yet he knows all his friends need me.but am there 4 him-i love him. i have started thinking he is just using me.
i one time went out with him,and he asked me whether i was jealous because he had a galfriend,i told him am not. because i was aware that he has one and i still fell in love with him.and my sis is his boss,she tells me he is a player,but he tells me not to believe that. and i dont. so that day out we had to kiss,it was going to be our first kiss,but he asked me to leave,because i said i wasn't jealous abt him. i was so disappointed because he called me and pleaded,i had an exam.but i didnt read. i came back home disappointed,crying. i was alone- iwanted to commit sucide but fortunately i had our neighbour talk to me. so i rushed to the clinic bought some pills which made me sleep for 24 hrs. but i took long to get back. every one told me to leave him. i even didnt do the exams- i hate that moment,i hate what i felt that month.
but i acted normal,i called him said sorry for my mistakes which i even hardly know. and he told me that there is no need to aplogise. but i said nothing. then he was to leave for a leave, back home,he called me and said he was leaving,i told him i was gonna miss him,and he said he will miss me more,and he was to call me. but when he got there,he called every one around me but not me! and even my sister. but he didnt bother calling me. my friends told me not to call him,because he even has a galfriend there,and he always tells me that he has as many gals as he can afford. he tells me gals are not his prob,and he tells me that he has laid each of them, am the only one remaining. whenever he tells me that, i feel bad and he knows i love him,and after that he asks me whether i love him. i remain speechless. i see many guys who like me,and they respect me. but am giving him a chance because whenever we talk for say a long time,he tells me that he might be in love with me. so,am so confused- because he is not sure abt it.
so,since he came back from a holiday, i aslo failed to call him.i dont know where to start 4m. when he was leaving he told me he is gonna meet the upright gals. because he is a guys who wants sex all the time,and me i failed to give in. i just cant-understand him. i dont lay with a guy who tells me how many gals he has. am also human,so he says am not upright. and people say that he was also hitting on my sis and i c'd see the signs-but i know my sis didn't give in.she cant,she is his boss and married.
we had a maid,she came here for one month and she left telling me that he was also hitting on her.she had evidence,but i cudn't know because i was in dubai by that time for my holiday. when i came back,heard the story. i was so surprised-this maid was so so not his level,she had no papers,not even attended any class in her life. everything was from me.i was left with only the option of falling sick and going home for a while.
but now,i'm confused. he is back,i havent said anything to him. because i dont even know the kind of relationship we are having.
if i become just a friend,he gets me to the next level. when i get there,he takes off. what can i do? he is not a person who listens,he never sits down to talk such stuff,only to tell u how many gals he has laid,anytime. i dont know,and am a kind of person who is a bit slow esp. in such situations,and when i tell him that. he also claims to be slow.but he isnt. he plays gals like tennis!
and i cant have sex with some one i dont know,and if i try he has to be a gud guy,not a guy who tells me the gals he is having- it makes me feel bad. esp. when he knows abt how i feel abt him.it affects me alot.
he even doesnt want any one to know that we talk-i dont know why. we keep it secret and no one knows that we can even sit in the same place. he makes it look like we are enemies. and thats why the maid went wrong she thought nothing was btn us. and i hate secret relationships. at my age am grown up,i need a guy. and am allowed to have one,i only need to introduce him at home,to any one there and thats all. but he doesn't want any one to know-i dont know why. not even his friendsor mine.and i cant ask him,because i even dont know what pisses him off.am just there,wondering,he doesn't want me to know anything abt him . i dont know if am single or not. and people cant even believe it,they expect me to have a guy at this age. but,am confused. just looking at him,and praying to god to show me the truth.
Ok ill be blunt. He has made you forget neglect your own life for his moods and swings of availabillity. In one word "DOORMAT"
I think you need more to examine your own feelings wishes wants, and if he cannot fullfill them time to get out of dodge. If he REALLY wants you, he would want an open for all world and public to see, and not fret about being seen by the wrong people
Hon, he is not good for you, i am sorry. Seriously i dont like what he is doing to you.
Yoiu deserve better.
I'll be even more blunt. This guy is the definition of an a$$. He is not only no good for you, he is no good for anybody. Get out of Dodge now!
Oh boy! I agree with the others. He is a very immature "BOY" just playing mind games with you to get what he wants...s e x from you. I'm sorry to say but guys who are jerks use the words " I love you " just to get in your pants. He is a LOSER and ONLY interested in s e x which is why he brags to you about "laying" (as he put's it) many girls.
I think it's very possible he has a naive girlfriend and of course he is going to tell you it's not true because by not being honest with you he is still hoping to get in your pants. HE IS BAD NEWS...STAY AWAY FROM HIM. A GUY WHO WANTS TO KEEP YOU AS A "SECRET" HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU. You seem like a very good descent girl, I know it's hard for you because he has confused you but PLEASE don't waste any more of your time and any feelings on him. HE IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU. HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOU. YOU DESERVE MUCH MUCH BETTER and trust me...you will see....in time you will meet the right guy for you who doesn't play games with your mind and feelings and who really loves and respects you. : )
Hey spiritual 717 I like your name 717 is the birthday of my fave cancer man
yeah,you guys are reall y right. i appreciate everything you say. and honestly thats what was in my mind all this time. just because i was always affraid,he would tell me that gals and ladies are not like that. so, i always thought that may be the problem was with me. and i dont have gal friends by me,only my sister and i fear talking to her abt such things. i have male friends all the time,and i tried to consult them,they called this 'injustice at the climax' and i wanted to know how any lady would handle the situation,because he always asks me what is wrong with me,he always says that am too different from other gals. and i didn't grow up in peer groups,my mum is a very strict woman. she always makes me associate with students who are focused on their studies,so i dont have that much experience abt how such things are handled. he tells me that am not soft,guys need soft gals. so, i always thought may be it was my fault.
but now i think i have to let go,and move on. i have missed a lot of chances,many guys have always come along and i said no,because he always gtes jealous when i get close to some one else. so,i even stopped that. the last guy who came along almost fought him.he came with a ring,infront of every one,but i said no,because i had told him abt this cancer,and he got so tense,he was tarus. he stood up and wanted to slap him,but he controlled his temper,went packed his thngs,sold his house and left the country. the last words he told me were ' you dont know what you are' infront of every one. i was left in hte middle of no where,but now i just have to move on in any kind of way.
thankyou guys,i appreciate this and u are so right.
Well hon, we´re here for you! Well i am!
thankyou very much bente. i appreciate all the advice,honestly.
i really needed help,and am glad i got it.
youre welcome hon