Blmoon, a question for you...
You are part right about the issue with him being mostly about you. ANGER needs to be looked at from a different perspective. What does it serve? To start that process you need to examine what happens with you when you are without something to stir up anger. What do you really get stuck with when without him? Is there pain ? Anxiety? Also, before you react to him stop yourself and try and see your pattern with him. Often, pushing buttons is a way of control in that it weakens the other person. It's called cat and mouse. The cat plays with it's catch. If you find yourself in the same argument over and over than look deeper at what's going on. You have to change something in how you two relate or nothing changes. . If he hits your reflex button and you resist and keep resisting only to realize he just amps it up then you can start asking those questions and stop living in the dark with this pattern. We tend to repeat our childhood fears and wounds in our relationships. Relationships, good and toxic are opportunities for healing because they bring our hidden side to the light. Or not! Some people never heal and choose the same pain over and over and some people do go into the pain alone to heal. Alone yet not without divine help. Sometimes we choose a mate who will distract us from success and good stuff because deep inside we do not truly feel we deserve to be happy. Again, you really must take notes on yourself. Keep journals. Look for patterns. I sense your love life is not separate from your career goals .
Blmoon, I have been examining my reactions, and patterns with him, good advise, thank you. We are in the same industry, both self employed. He was doing some work for me when we got into a big blow up. We shouldn’t work together, obviously! Ha
blmoon, hello there. I hope you are hearing good news about everything. It sounds like you have been going through a lot, I hope you are taking good care of yourself! I wanted to update you on my brother because it seems I have taken you with me on this ride. His divorce is final. His custody is not. ha! I went back and read through some of the things you wrote me over a year ago and it was an interesting reminder of how accurately you predicted everything, from the ex's reactions to myself and my families reactions. As you stated everything went from bad to worse, but it did get my brother to aggressively pursue his own justice, which he badly needed to do! I think thats why I felt so compelled to be involved, as you pointed out. Once he took the reins, I felt relief and dropped my involvement. He goes back in January to see "how he does" for this 6 month period as a parent and he can request more custody then. Anyway, nothing real noteworthy or any major changes, but wanted to confirm what you had told me all along. Thank you for your guidance during all of that, it was so helpful to me. Also want to share some beauty from part of the world.