Would love a reading/advice

  • I am at a cross roads in relationships and life in general and i need some guidance. I am married... contemplating divorce. I actually move out this week. There is the possibility of a new romance, or i could just go solo for a while. I am at a point where i am sooo indecisive staying in the middle is the easiest thing for me to do, but i know it isn't healthy. I am curious to see what the cards would like to advise as to which one of the paths would be best for me.

  • Hi

    I think you need a clean slate befoire you get involved with a new man. Even men dont like the "Other one" in a 3 wheel gig deal. and its not fair to any of you at least not even yourself.

    You need to consider why you want a divorce first and fully. Dont smack all blame for the failure of it on your ex to be, but take your own into consideration too. Any relationship is a fragile flower and if not tended by either one ....................... then it dies and often both sides blame the other instead of looking what did i as me do wrong. Not saying he aint to blame at all nor that you are. So first figure out if u reallu want a divorce, and if its a yes get it done smoothly and relaxed not bloody n cruel. then mourn and rebuild urself. And then you are ok to embark a new one.

    The danger in embarking in a new one right now when still in marriage contemplating divorce u may bring what u did wrong into the new one and it may die faster. Clean slate is what is needed. You can do it. I wish u best of luck n i hope this helped.

  • That does help some. I've been trying to take these steps myself, but sometimes I feel like my head is full of pudding rather than brains lol. My husband was down right mean and took his stress of his job out on me and my children. It took me about six months to decide i couldn't take it anymore and actually telling him. I feel like during that time i grieved for our relationship. The news of me wanting to leave took him as a shock because apparantely i am good at hiding my true feelings and faking being happy. I'm sure that combined with what he calls his blindness to the situation. So i realize i am at blame for alot of it. I allowed the behavior, and didn't fully express to him how dire i felt about it. Then when i told him I'm pretty sure in my mind it was already over, so nothing he could do would change my mind.

    The other one is more of friend to me right now. I could see developing feelings for him, but i don't believe they would be permanent even though part of me tells me that he is my soul mate. I think i am probably latching on to the person who is available and there for me. But this person i met just a few days before i told my husband that i wanted a divorce. As it stands I haven't filed paperwork yet.

    People keep telling me that deep inside i know what i should do, but i don't want to accept that choice. I feel as though my answer is right there, but i just can't see it myself... like it is behind a wall or curtain. Everyday i wish for clarity.

  • Mom2jess-

    I do not think you need any reading for your question- it is clear that you should not be with any other man until you get a divorce. The only question for you right now it should be if you should get a divorce or not. Unfortunately it seems to me you need someone else to be able to let go. That is another problem- you need to learn to be on your own first before you even attempt to be with anyone else.

    If you still need direction... ask me

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