BLMOON



  • @blmoon
    Not a good day. I woke up with a bad headache and have not been able to get rid of it. I had a sort of nightmare last night, something in connection with my sister being homeless. We just got back from chosing the painting. I chose a small red one in the end. Quite typical of her art. She said it is one if her favourite and for a long time she didn't want to part with it but she is happy for me to have it. The one I thought I would like, the one in the book, she found in her catalogue but it was not where it was supposed to be. It is much bigger than I thought and I think it would be quite overpowering. She was a but irritated about not finding it, she is amazingly well organised. I think the small one I got is the right choice. I don’t seem to be able to upload a picture, I am on my mobile, maybe I need to be on the computer. Hope this headache will go away soon.
    HUGS



  • @radiantsun
    That painting was meant for you! I hope your headache wasn't from all the old crap we brought up from the past! A lot of pain there you put aside to move on. Or it's just the environment or climate. I have allergies so any storage digging will give me a headache the next day. Also any atmospheric pressure changes effect me. I'm sitting here with a throbbing shoulder, pain mostly under my arm and it has made my neck stiff and now I'm feeling the beginnings of a headache. I'm about to do some more research on this swollen inflamed bursa thing. I'm too psychic not to solve this! I think I skipped my magnesium yesterday so will start with that. I may try another doctor one more time for a second opinion. I sometimes get the feeling something more is going on. Wed. I went to a healing service and had a healing and it actually felt better that night but didn't last. I had crazy nightmares last week that made no sense and was rattled all day! I usually must figure those out but had no clue. On occasion someone elses energy will enter my boundaries and I will dream their situation. I haven't been doing any real connections on here anymore so still have no idea. I don't think we ever got into reincarnation but I have had a feeling you had a homeless issue in a past life that carries over. I don't feel you were out on a street but for some oppressive reasons you were denied the right to own property. Your artist friend sounds familiar. My artist poet friend who lived to be 91 was like that! I so loved her. She was a true mother to me. We were a lot alike but then not. Her eyesight went in her 80's yet she kept painting and was insistent on publishing another book but it got too stressful and working with her over it was awful because she was very fastidious about details and constantly worried something was overlooked. The only way she could see was with a huge magnifying glass one word at a time. I thought the book would kill her so I kept putting it off. She wrote notes to herself all her life and posted them in view. It made me giggle but she had to be on top of things. As I age I keep her challenges in mind. To be a creative and yet lose your eyesight and break a hip can be so devastating.



  • @Blmoon
    To get a second opinion on your shoulder is definitely the right decision, I always get a second or even a third opinion if it looks serious. I hope you get some relief soon. I don't know about another life, but I certainly seem to be denied the right to own property in this one.... ha ha. My sister is in effect homeless. She is not in the street but she has no home and no place where she can have her belongings, and I can't help worrying about her. The headache may have something to do with the stress of leaving on Tuesday, all the last minute things, the packing, picking up the paintings, fitting them in the car... not being able to spend a night in a hotel on the way because you cannot leave a loaded car in the street overnight, too risky, and it is a very long drive. My son will have the burden of loading the car and the driving. I always stress before travelling, I wonder how I managed in the past when I travelled for work, I never used to stress like this. Travelling to the US was always bad because of jet lag, no problem on the way back. I suppose another thing that was on the back of my mind is that my sister went to see a neurologist yesterday and I have to call... I didn't because of the headache. The dream was in connection with Italian friends I have not seem for ages. We were guests at their house and there were many people involved including my sister who had also traveled to that town and complained that she had not been invited. She said something like all these people had all these roofs and she didn't have one. There may be a connection with the friends who own this house and the artist friend who owns a second house next to her studio which she lets to tourists she knows. My sister also had a nice house with a separate apartment she could have let if she had not been so particular and if she hadn't sold it without having another. She definitely has mental problems whatever they may be and I am going to end up with a responsibility I am not in a position to assume. I don't think my bad dream was in connection with what we discussed yesterday, those things are not forgotten but I have moved on. I am blessed not to dwell on all the negative aspects of the past and not to be consumed by resentment or thirst for revenge. I think of my sister... and the Bard! Hope your shoulder will let you have a peaceful Sunday.
    HUGS



  • @Blmoon
    How is your shoulder? I so hope you get some relief. Heard of a new hurricane coming your way which is increasing in strength, I hope and pray that you and your family will be safe. Hope it changes direction and goes towards the ocean. I have never experienced a storm like that but I imagine how frightening it must be. There was one (much smaller) where we used to live in Germany. Our house was totally safe and all around it but the avenue which passes by there, which has huge trees on both sides, so many trees were uprooted and there the park nearby suffered great damage and so did many houses around there. My son and I were not there at the time. I once experienced an earthquake in Greenwich Connecticut. I was asleep and at first I didn't know what it was, I was totally exhausted after over a week in Indianapolis and Denver with meetings from early morning until late in the evening and not having had a chance to get over jet lag. I woke up with the noise and everything around me was shaking, I was wondering what this could be and then I thought, "oh, it must be an earthquake" and went straight back to sleep. The next morning at the office everybody was asking if I was all right and that they had been worried about me and couldn't believe it when I told them I had slept through it. But this is something else and I do hope it will pass you by. Got back at just after two on Wednesday morning after a very long drive. Slept all morning and delivered the paintings late afternoon. The first thing I missed on Thursday morning was the church bells, I so love waking up with those bells... It is back to reality but I am very grateful for those glorious four weeks. I am posting a picture of the beach we went to a few times. I love those colours. I am also posting a picture of the painting I got in the end. It needs a lot of light, but as I have told you, light is abundant in my apartment and I found the perfect spot for it. What do you think of it? The lighter strokes are in gold and it gives a good effect in the light. I shall be praying for you and your family and the safety of your home and hoping the storm will blow away over the Atlantic. Stay safe and calm and know that Saint-Michael will spread his wings around you to protect you from harm. You are loved.
    HUGS
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  • @Blmoon
    These words just came to me, "Stand still and know that I am God."
    πŸ’•πŸ€πŸŒΉπŸ€—
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  • @Blmoon
    It looks as if you will be fine. I can go to sleep now.
    πŸ€—πŸ˜˜πŸ€πŸ’•πŸŒΉ



  • @radiantsun
    your stand still message is straight from Spirit, you are very gifted. That is exactly the way it's been playing out! Despite seemingly no help, and my shoulder got worse , my grand son is sick and my husband is in no shape for hurricane preparations. But yes there has been a calm divine string of events that has blessed me. Long story. I love the pictures. And was just searching for a St. Michael. I had no idea you have had so much time in the states. Indianapolis is close to my heart and I don't know why! I never lived there but anytime traveling through there I get so excited as if I had a life there. One of my dear friends I met in Florida came from there and I would joke that maybe I felt her there before we met. I must of had a past life there because it feels too familiar.It's kind of how I feel when seeing anything Paris. That stretch between Indianapolis and Chicago is so beautiful to me. I love the miles of farm land, it is so beautiful in the fall. I really love the red painting! Very dramatic and it has a very serious mood.Like when you are thinking of hard memories yet between the things you are shocked to remember are bits of of humor and bliss. I was just feeling like that thinking about my dearest childhood friend who died in 2004, right after the last bad hurricanes hit here. I was just having a part sad cry then a happy vibe of how blessed and often funny our childhood days were. That painting captures the truth to the belief our bliss and passion at their best have known the darkest nights! HUGS!



  • @blmoon
    Good to hear from you Blmoon and sorry your shoulder is worse. I am sure the stand still message will help your shoulder too. The company I worked for had its headquarters in Greenwich and I worked closely with the Golden Co office which was the headquarters of one of the divisions and Indianapolis was trying to take over that part. A lot of company politics I hated. Funny that Paris makes you think of Indianapolis, did you know that one of the two architects who designed it had assisted L'Enfant when he drew the plans for Washington DC. That is where the French part comes in. Amazing that you should have made that connection. Yes, I did spend quite some time in the US and visited a few cities, including your hometown Chicago. I was never in Florida though. At that time, the city I liked most was Washington DC where I had friends. New York never the effect one would expect, perhaps it grows on you and I would have needed more time. The offices in Greenwich had been built on extensive grounds and there was still a beautiful New England style house which had been turned into three apartments and it was a great privilege to stay at one of those instead of at a hotel. Only top executives enjoyed that privilege but my boss who was one, made sure I could stay there. That is where I experienced the earthquake. Later, when my son was just under four, we spent some time in Phoenix looking at houses and schools because my ex had an offer to be transferred to Tempe. We had found the perfect school Paradise Valley and the perfect house in Scottsdale. The house is in a gated community which I thought weird at the time but I loved it. From there we went to Denver where his company headquartered and he turned down the job claiming that if he accepted it I would divorce him!!! I was shocked, I just could not believed it. It should have been a warning about who he really was.... he stayed in Denver a bit longer and my son and I went to Connecticut to stay with my former boss and his wife in their beautiful house by the sea just out of Mystic Port where they had their sailing boat. They had a small motor boat to get to the house. We loved it there. I wonder what our lives would have been like if we had moved there... better or not I don't know, but certainly different. The man who took the job was offered a position in Denver a year later! Tempe was just a stepping stone to something else. This is the painting I wanted and she couldn't find, I could not take a straight picture of it from the book but you can straighten it in your mind. What do you think of this one? She was willing to give it to me, but unfortunately, it sees I was not supposed to have it. I wish your grandson a speedy recovery and the whole family to stay calm and watch the hurricane pass you by with no harm to you or your home.
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  • @radiantsun
    wow, you did have another whole life. Although that wise older mentor that mothered me used to tell me that the older I got looking back I would see that my life had been MANY lives! She was right. I think for those who grow it's most true as we change. My life in Chicago is hard to imagine, when writing I have to dig deep to be true to the truth! It's an ego's first reaction to not reveal my learning curve at it's low points! That is so amazing about the Paris Indianapolis tie! I did not know that! I was born in Tucson Arizona and so wish to visit before I kick but it has not happened. My father was in the Air Force there so we lived on the base but moved back to Chicago when I was around 4. I love this painting. I can see why you would! And she must love it too. So much movement. My first thought was MUSIC and also a bit of Dada but with a soft side of impressionist. This one has a very feel good vibe. I don't know her but I get that her talent really shows in this one. Today is final prep day before we get hit today and my Angel card this morning said TIME FOR A NAP! I am supposed to pray for Angel help. I need to pick up my garden treasures from the yard. And we need to build some kind of cover for the new generator the Angels blessed us with yesterday! I think I told you I had my trees all done twice last year and good thing. But my neighbors all have lame neglected trees. The generator is the best relief as my husband was about to have another heart attack fixing our old one. I had a feeling for months to buy a new one! Not having electric in this heat is God awful. Even if we escape the worst damage we will surely lose power at some point. We have some gas reserves. We have food because Spirit sent me on a big shopping spree before the news hit! Funny because I did think I lost my mind but psychics do seemingly odd things until it has an answer! I so enjoy talking to you! You are very gifted, intelligent and worldly and a woman who keeps on keeping on. You are soft yet STRONG. Stronger than you know. Hugs!



  • @blmoon
    Now that you mention it, yes I think I had many lives. Maybe I should try writing a book about them.πŸ˜‚ Your liking the painting so much makes me regret it even more.... dge dud not have any reluctance about parting with it, pity it was not where it said on the catalogue... Ih well, I suppose it was ,it meant to be. Yes! We talked about that. Not in connection with this painting but others, and she says some are inspired by music, even dancing... sometimes she dances a few steps while painting... she is a rather happy and positive person. It was her birthday yesterday, she is 92. I called her to wish her a happy birthday and she was very pleased. So glad you got a generator, that must have been part the stand still message. Prepare in a calm rational way, no panic. I really feel you are surrounded by Love and protected, and you got the guidance to do what was necessary at the right time and all is well. Thank you! It means a great deal coming from you. I have great regard for your judgement and it does me a world of good talking to you. πŸ˜ŠπŸ€
    HUGS πŸ’•



  • @Blmoon
    How is it going with Dorian? I hope all is well and I feel it is. How are you feeling? I hope you suffered no damages and your should is better. Did you need the generator? Maybe your Internet connection is not working... if so, I hope it will soon be up again. I had an unexpected call this evening from a travel agent about my sister's flight to Canada. She is going to come through Paris and wants to stay a couple of nights. Could do without that. I told her that we will pick her up at the airport and take her back but I she'd better come in peace because I will not tolerate any aggressiveness, nasty remarks, long faces, or steering any kind of discord. She is welcome as long as she behaves in comely manner but I will have no arguments under my roof. I am not looking forward to this but I intend to enforce those rules. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to come again. In my heart of hearts, I hope she doesn't. I dread her coming back from Canada just before Christmas and wanting to stay here for Christmas 😱 As I said the other day, I'm afraid I will always be confronted with this responsibility which is really not mine. Since she is alone, people call me about her and all her problems, and believe me, she has nothing else. I made a mistake yesterday which I shall not make again. My mobile rang when we were having dinner and I saw who it was and hesitated but then answered. That is the last time. It spoiled our dinner and all for nothing. If it happens again, I shall simply refuse the call and call back if necessary. I realise I never before that I have to preserve myself and I need to be firm but it will not be painless. Hope all is well.
    HUGS



  • @radiantsun
    OH MY! No the visit with your sister will not work out.. But you did lay down the boundary ...good for you. She can not be anything but who she is so asking more of her is a lot to ask! If she truly had any self control over herself she would not be in this position. But to not tolerate anything less is your right. She may change her mind once she does not feel the guilt in your vibe, the sympathy she is used to living off of. I think she will go back and forth a few times with her decision. Maybe your Christmas gift to yourself will be a hotel room for one of you! People call you to escape her! She has a very intrusive pushy vibe when she chooses and it both makes people hide from her or give in to her but there is no one who truly can deal with her on a consistent bases so moving around a lot will continue. She will not be grateful for your hospitality. Don't worry over it as you will handle it just fine and you are better at it than the past. You are so right about preserving oneself is a good sign of aging wisely! I saw my older mentors do that without guilt and wondered if I would ever gather that kind of self loving guiltless strength. I slipped into it just fine. . I am getting some other kind of invitation around Christmas showing up for you. It is something good so leave your expectations open for something like that. BLESSINGS!



  • @Blmoon
    Since I had not heard further from the travel agent, I sent her an WhatsApp message and she called me. My sister is arriving in Paris on Monday 16th in the evening and leaving for Canada at midday on Wednesday 18th. Reading my last post, I see that it was not very clear. The Christmas part is when she comes back, she will be arriving in Paris on December 18th. That is if she doesn't come back earlier or later, or whatever... The imminent "visit" is next week, at the time of my last post I didn't know if she would be arriving tomorrow and leaving on Friday, this gives me a little more time. I don't want to think about Christmas yet, as you say, anything can happen until then. Are you well? How did the storm go? And, how is your shoulder? I hope all the preparations for the storm did not put too much strain on you. I am still missing the village church bells, open market, car free village, window to the garden, the forest and the sea... There are churches all around here too, and their bells ring but not every hour and I cannot hear them with the windows closed.
    HUGS



  • @radiantsun
    I grew up with the church bells every hour and mostly that's how as children we knew what time it was as the bells first rang out a little melody then single rings to count down the hour! I also miss the sound of trains close enough to feel the vibration. Actually, leaving Chicago for a sleepy southern town was a complete shock to the senses. My ears used to ring with bedtime silence. Odd to think silence can feel deafening! The silence was nothing like the silence of the woods which to me is very musical and has lots of soothing sounds. Now I'm sure Chicago would be noisy as I think all the noise get's tuned out and you get used to it and I am o longer used to it. I do miss the wind. Summer in Florida is very still, no wind at all unless you are at the beach. My shoulder got worse and I went back to the ortho emergency and cried. The pain was so unbearable. They did nothing and refused any medication and the young woman would not even touch me saying she could not examine me. Anyway, did a lot of praying and ended up at an organic market and found a very helpful lady who suggested CBD oil and something called Nervefix. The CBD oil was pricey but it is working! I had a dream last night about my clinic visits and it was very true. I got that the place was just a big business taking your money. I also looked a little closer at the doctors listed and realized only some of them were specialists and they had just enough to give credibility but they also used those practitioners that were not specialists even though they charged my insurance five hundred dollars for a visit that lasted less then five minutes. The only visit that was good was that one doctor who gave me the shots and genuinely made me feel like he connected.I pulled cards on it today and got the self sufficient card reassuring me that I was very capable of figuring this issue out myself. I honestly think I have more than one thing going on, the bursa shows up very swollen on the MRI but the lady who would not examine my arm or area informed me after I asked exactly what did they MRI, that the Mri only was of my top shoulder since they were looking for a torn rotator. I was shocked as I assumed it was a broader look. They knew it was a possible injury yet they did not look far enough. A good doctor communicates with you and takes the time to go over things. Specially at five hundred dollars! I read both kinds of reviews on them and got either happy campers or a lot of similar complaints and accusations that they delayed treatment but pushed very pricey physical therapy. I should know better but PAIN will cloud your judgement. Anyway this CBD oil is making it less painful so I will continue on with it and if it does get worse I will get a trusted re feral to a doctor who is not part of a big clinic. As for Christmas, sounds like my vibe was right despite the miscommunication. I think Christmas this years offers you something much more deserving! And you will handle her visit just fine but even that agenda feels so iffy. I think she changes her mind once a day!



  • @blmoon
    Oh Blmoon, I am sorry about the awful experience you had with those doctors. And that they should not have done a proper MRI either! And so expensive too! Glad the CBD oil brings you at least some relief... I know you will trust your intuition and find the right doctor at the right moment. I hope you are right about Christmas and there is something special in store but in any case, I am quite happy to just stay here and have peace ans we usually do. My son and I are both uncomplicated and happy in each other's company. I just hope and pray that she will not be coming for Christmas. Last year it was not the way we like it with her here although she was by far not as bad as when she came in April. I just cannot face the idea. There is no doubt about next week, she is coming. She does change her mind more than once a day about some things but she is obsessive about others. That is how she sold her house, it became an absolute obsession with her, she had to sell the house no matter what. She claimed it was too expensive for her to continue to maintain it. So she sold it without any planning and now she is spending God know how many times more on just lodgings. Totally irrational. Going to Canada is another of those obsessions and she will not change her mind. She has her ticket to fly here on Monday and to fly to Toronto on Wednesday and return mid December. Hence my concern about Christmas. Friday 13th, Harvest Full Moon. Whatever that may mean... Hope your shoulder is better.
    HUGS



  • @radiantsun
    It is almost five in the morning and I just got a call from Canada to tell my sister ha.d arrived. I had called the hotel and asked the receptionist to call me and let le talk to her. She is very lucky that she has so far come across kind people everywhere. He told me she had to be careful because she had no Canadian money and paid the taxi driver with Euros and gave him far too much. Of course, she didn't realise a d though he would give her the change I assume. The receptionist I have talking to since yesterday made him give the money back. She says she has no canadian money when she had $240with her. I did not sleep last night trying find her a less expensive room. I booked her an airbnb which she now paid for two weeks. The gentleman of the house kindly offered to pick her up himself art the hotel and take her to his house tomorrow morning. She didn't even know where she was, she insisted that she was in Spain.. She finally accepted she is in Canada and everyone speaks English. I hope this kind man from the airbnb house will take of her. I told her she should not be traveling alone and I am very concerned, she said everyone she met told her the same., but now that is it. She finds Canadian people the nicest. I don't want this responsibility, I can't have her live with me! I have no legal authority over her and I am terrified. Already whe she arrived here from Spain, there was an airport employee who brought her to me because she insisted she should be in a,nother city. I, pray this family where she will be staying will take care of her. Exhausted I am going to try to sleep.
    HUGS



  • @radiantsun
    as always she survives. Nothing you worry about will change a thing. You need some meditation music to fall asleep to. I go to youtube and pick something that suites me. I'm going to bed. Hopefuly I can empty my head as well! HUGS!



  • @blmoon
    Sorry to burden you with all the Blmoon, I hope you managed to sleep. I feel that this is so unfair, I do not deserve this. I have enough with my own life and problems. This is not my cross to bear, but somehow, I'll always end up with it. The saga continues, yesterday when the man arrived at the hotel to pick her up at 11 am as agreed, she was gone. He called me and I got him to ask all the right questions at the desk. She had left her luggage there and said she would be back before 3 pm and gave the name of a friend she was going to visit (at 8:30 am!). I gave this kind gentleman the adress and phone number of the friend, he called her and he went to her apartment but there was no answer. He had told the hotel to call him if she came back and when he was leaving the friend's apartment building, the hotel called to tell him that the police had just brought her back. He told me he didn't think he could take her after this, he could not assume responsibility and told me to call the hotel which I did. The receptionist told me the police was there and wanted to talk to me. I spoke with a police constable who said she had got lost because she did not know the area and had gone to the police to ask her way and they took her back, that she was in good spirits and all was well. That the gentleman who had come to pick her up was there and she would be going with him. I said he seemed reluctant to take her and she said she would talk to him. She took my phone numbers and my son's and asked me to check on her from time to time and said they now knew where she was and how to get in touch with me. Later Eric (that is the gentleman's name, he is a minister of some denomination or other) sent me pictures of her with her luggage (she had the bag she had told me she had lost) and then in her room and around the house, and then called me on video to show me that they were getting some lunch and she seemed happy. He said he would take her to see where she could buy groceries and so on but he cannot stay there and she will be alone in the house, which she says she prefers, and his wife is traveling and will not be back for some days. I'm afraid this is not the end and and there is more to come.
    HUGS



  • @radiantsun
    I know this is NOT funny but I had a good laugh! Sorry but as I said, despite her condition she sure does land on her feet like a cat with EXTRA lives! Obviously, all her encounters realize she should not be on her own, and their good conscious kicks in and they just can't walk away. Her inability to see herself as an inconvenience or burden on others pretty much resolves her of any responsibility. She did have the good sense to go to a police station for help. She is one of many out there! Growing up we used to say that there were special Angels for people like her. There is an intervention waiting but you must make that decision about how far you CAN take on this unfortunate mess that does not belong to you. Any of us can end up in dementia for whatever reasons. How we lived our lives often solves it but, NO, life is not always fair. You have nurtured your relationships and someone would help you. Your sister would not help you. She would not feel guilty either. She does not take on responsibility that has no benefit to her. how far can any good soul take on this burden? Your fear and frustration know that answer and you do have few options. You can not tie her to a chair or lock her in a room. She is not of sound mind and she belongs in a supervised locked facility. They will most likely use meds to slow her down. Right now you are too isolated in this situation and could use some help if at least to talk and share available options. Many families right now are dealing with family members who through some kind of mental loss can not live without a keeper. Usually spouses or children give up the most to care for loved ones. Yet in the end that loved one does end up in a home. Your sister is not going to get better, only worse. Reach out to the doctor you trusted for starting the process of having her declared incompetent and include any other relatives. YOU do not have to be her keeper and mostly you are very normal in your reaction to not being responsible for her. Talking with others who are facing this same issue will help you feel less guilty. Actually, Your son has a good plan. Talk to him about it but in a way that leaves emotion out of it. As you know...fear makes the wolf look bigger. You like to see the road ahead...that's your comfort zone so this will test you hard because she represents complete surprise and no plans to count on. You will be fine! BLESSINGS!



  • @Blmoon
    I too would have laughed if I was not so closely involved. I said there was more to come? and how! This afternoon Eric called me to tell me that he had to go to Toronto for the Weekend and did not want to leave her alone an offered to take her with him and she could stay in his house there and come back on Monday or Tuesday with him. It seems that she said she would rather die than go to Toronto. A whole unbelievable drama. I talked to her and told her that he worried about her but she was not obliged to go with him and then I told her the room was paid for two weeks but if she found another place and wanted to go they would refund the difference (They would be only too happy). And she told me that it was not right to have reserved and paid with her credit card "behind her back" and I must admit I got angry. I told her that she had agreed to it and given me her card which neither I nor my son would have taken out of her purse and that if she says things like that I will not have anything to do with any of that anymore. She also said she had been robbed at the airport in Toronto which I found hard to believe since she had a companion to take her from one plane to the next and was not left on her own in the airport. Eric asked her how much they had stolen from her and she said 2 000 Canadian dollars. That was not possible because she only had 240 on her. She had ridiculous high amounts of other currencies but those she said she still had. Eric said that when he took her grocery shopping yesterday that was exactly the amount she had! He had planned to take her to the bank and have all that money changed and put into her account to keep it safe, but he did not have the time before he left. Later he called me again and said she had decided to stay and he had to go and could not assume responsibility for what may happen to her. He said he would call the cleaning lady and ask her to let him know everyday how things are. He also introduced to me a young man over the phone who very kindly offered to go and see her twice a day he or his wife. He sent me a message a while ago to say he will go this evening with his wife and on Sunday they will pick her up to go to church if she wants to go with them, they are Catholic. Yes, she is very very lucky to come across so many nice people, or as a friend of mine said, that I monitor all this from a distance! Whatever happens, she will blame me! The truth is that there is not one single relative who will take any responsibility for her or help her in any way. I cannot organise anything for her over here. She does not want to live in France, and I am not going to move to another country far away from my son and my way of life to take care of her. The friend i just mentioned is facing something even worse with his wife, but he is in total control and at least she cannot take off wherever she likes with bundles of money. This is extremely hard on him, but he has her at home and mostly takes care of her himself, he has someone come and stay with her when he goes to his garden or things like that. He is totally tied down to her, takes her out to the park on a wheel chair once or twice a day and does everything for her. She is American. She was never a nice person, extremely possessive, jealous of all his friends and family, envious, capricious... she hated me and I never liked her. Needless to say that I haven't been to see her once and he understands that. He doesn't have to do this and I am not sure why he does, I suppose he feels sorry for her and he is a kind person, but it is consuming him. He can afford to have her in specialised home but I think he just can't face all the crying and Co when he goes to see her. He dreams of going to spend a week with his sister who has also been ill and is much older but he just can't face the drama. So you see, talking to people in a similar situation does not help, lol. My son says it is not my responsibility and he thinks, which I tend to agree with, that if she had a home and stayed there without traveling the world, and had her banking well taken care off, she would be all right. She knows her way around, it is a small town and she knows the countryside and everybody around, ours is a very well known family, she would probably be fine if she kept busy. One problem with knowing some many people is that she speaks ill of the one to the other and eventually it gets back to the person and one after the other everybody avoids her. Oh well, I am going to send an message to the nice young man, Dave, to tell him that I am going to bed and not to call me when he goes to see my sister if there is no urgent need. I need to sleep. Thank you for listening, even my son is tired of hearing about this and thinks I should not get so emotionally involved. He is right of course, but I cannot help it. I should not have got so annoyed earlier, but I had not slept all night to find her a room and not only she doesn't show any gratitude but accuses me of having done it behind her back! I told her that if I hadn't done that she would be in the street and said would prefer that. She does not realise that the police would pick her off the street and she would probably end up in a hospital. The things she says are totally senseless. Good night my friend. I ache all over and am in much need of sleep.
    HUGS