BLMOON





  • @blmoon
    Lovely! Tell you about my day later. The weather is heavenly.
    Hugs



  • @Blmoon
    Dear Blmoon, pleasecpray for me. She is leaving on Wednesday and today has been the worts day yet. She deliberately decided she would ruin our Easter! She - again - acvused ys of stealing her money, threatened to call thevpolice and my son gave her the telehone and told her to call the police. Dge didn't take it and he tol her she was lucky we didn't thriw her out in the street right away. I'll tell you more when I can. I gave an appointment to see the doctor myself on Tuesday, and me being me, I thought I would take her instead for a last visit. I don't think so! I have been paying for all her doctors, this time I am paying for me! Three more full days to go!



  • @Blmoon
    Sorry for all the typos, what a mess!



  • @radiantsun
    I love your son!!! As for your typos I got the same mess going on with my phone!!! They update the phone and now I can't find to undo auto text so I get crazy gibberish. Thank God I use my computer for this. My good friend said I sound drunk! I hope you plan a special celebration when your sister leaves. Proud of you for taking care of yourself first! HUGS!0_1555880507881_download (4).jpg



  • @blmoon

    Yes, we are! I have a bottle of champagne in the fridge and a very good friend sent my son a cheque for a good restaurant and a medium one for THREE, to thank him for some valuable help he had given him with his computer. That should be enough for two very good restaurants for TWO since the third is not getting any of it! She did ruin our Easter, even if we tried to go on as normal. When dinner was on the table I asked her if she was coming and she said no. We had our dinner and talked as if she wasn't there. After dinner I asked if she wanted an Easter egg, she said no and we had ours and ignired her. With the things she said to ly son today, she really lost him for ever. Until now, she had been more careful, she would say the most awful things to me but not include him. Today she went so far that any concern or compassion we may still have had for her is now gone. We arranged her trip yo the last detail, including taxi price and everything. On Wednesday we are driving her to the airport, help her check in and that is that. There will still be a couple of letters I shall have to write for her to settle administrative matters but that should soon be over. I am having another day with ly student tomorrow, but I'll try to come home early not to leave my son with her too long. Wenesday night we will be free!



  • @Blmoon

    Tonight I am going to SAGE, so much!
    I am concerned about her, but I am also aware that I am the last person who can help her. She will never listen to me or take any advice from me. SAD.



  • @Blmoon
    Well, I didn't sage, I didn't do a thing, I was sick all night, rested all morning with a splitting headache all day. Had to spend quite some time on the phone explaining how she is suposed to take her medication and how to use her mobike phone, and I al not sure she undertood euther. I found out this evening just how affected my son was by all this, how little work he was able to get done because he had to help with all the administrative stuff and was not able to concentrate with the permanent drama. I thought I would feel relieved when she was gone, but I just felt like crying most of the day. It was probably the after-effects and lack of sleep. I am glad all the tests were done and all doctors agree that there is nothing physically wrong and she will improve with the treatment she got and psychiatric help. We have done everything we could and we cannot afford to have another situation like this from many points of view, but the first is our own self preservation. And I am aware that I am the last person who can help her, because I am the last person she will listen to or trust, and she feels entitled to insulting me in every possible way, and now my don too! I clearly see your point when a short time ago you said to keep my son away from my sister... I wish I did not have such a sense of duty and that I did not feel empathy for her, I m perfectly aware that she does not deserve it from me. She never had a word of thanks after everything we went through to get her examined and treated and putting up with her envy and her viciousness and her dreadful behaviour, and still looking after her and paying for everything!!! And after all that, I was still worried about her getting there alright and taking her leducation tight. I must be a total fool!
    BIG HUG 🤗



  • @radiantsun
    BE KIND to yourself. You are no fool. Sometimes there is no happy ending and no easy choices. At least your son knows by experience how much a person like that whether il or not can truly diminish your life. I was worried for him because she is very very jealous of your relationship with him. What you are feeling is part exhaustion physically and spiritually and after she left she has been not having good thoughts. She is making you both into horrible stories to anyone who will listen even though anyone sane knows not to listen. But for you, Poisson arrows are real. Her negative anger is an energy directed toward you both. So, put up your shield and ask Saint Michael for protection and command that ALL poison arrows sent to you deflect and return to sender. You did as much as you could despite any thanks. You did it because that's who you ARE. And you did balance it well and had a limit and boundary. You are not a fool. That feel bad energy is not yours. Just her energy. It will fade as she finds her next rant, her next target. You did good. Buy yourself some flowers! HUGS!



  • @Blmoon
    Thank you for your kind words. Both my son and I are slowly recovering, at least trying to... I am worried about him, he looks really worn out and has dark rings under his eyes, I hope this will soon wear out... He has been reading a lot of philosophy lately and he enjoys it. It is good to be able to have a normal conversation again and talk about anything under the sun without permanent abuse and drama. Today I could have my student come to the apartment for the first time and it felt good to have that freedom again. I like her very much and we gave a great deal in common. I am almost surprised since for once she is not an artist, but a successful scientist. I want my son to meet her because he is very interested in her work and she also wants to meet him because she has a son of the same age and they also have a very good relationship. We'll try to have a day out to visit our most wonderful royal park together. I offered to do that with my sister and she said she had seen it hundreds of times. What is the point? You are right, my sister is extremely jealous of ly relationship with my son. She is also extremely possessive with me, she must have all the attention all the time.
    I am posting pictures from the Art Nouveau restaurant. We had lunch another day at a place someone else had recommended to her, but although the food was good, there is nothing to be said about the setting.
    HUGS

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  • @radiantsun
    Almost makes me cry. The beautiful vibe. Glad you are getting back to normal. In the future keep your sister away from your son. Your age wisdom and a challenging life have toughened your skin but he's going to take a real beating in her presence and also she really is capable of great harm when she is most delusional. You know what is the Grace of being trapped on a wild ride of crazy? It's when crazy leaves! Colours look brighter, food tastes better, the simplest of everyday things suddenly turn to BLISS! Blessings!



  • @blmoon
    The lady from her hotel, they are three sisters, but the eldest one really tries to help, called me today with some kind of miax up she doesn't understand. I explained the whole thing to her and later my sister called me asking why I had done this and that... which I haven't! Very trying. I had taken a pill before and managed to keep calm. She doesn't want to be where she is and wants to go to Canada, without a place to stay! She says she has lived there before for 'any years and will hear no advice from people who know nothing about it. Of course, she doesn't want to admit that Canada has changed and she never found herself there without a home before. I told her she shoukd at least wait until she sees the effect of the treatment, and that she is not in a condition to travel so far on her own. She will not listen. As soon as she is on Canada, she will want to leave! So, it will be what the doctor said, her destiny. Sad, very sad, but with her behaviour, I can never again take her in, it would destroy us. Her choice, her destiny...!
    I am sharing a picture of Mary untier of knots. May she unty all these crazy knots For us, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

    0_1556480295409_7B944E75-C222-4787-AE79-359CC84EEF49.jpeg the name of her son Jesus Christ. Amen.
    HUGS



  • @radiantsun
    you always post a relevant picture for me! After a few tangled days, TODAY they got untangled and beauty and harmony has me in a very grateful mood! I never heard of this saying. Mary untier of knots and I was raised very old school Catholic. Love the painting. I will have to pray to HER more and give Saint Michael a rest! Actually, my experience with catholic school was, there seemed to me a great absence of any real attention to females in general. In fact when I was a child women were not allowed beyond the rail in front of the alter. It's different now. I think America didn't have he treasure of History like Europe.. We do not have your history or relics. Although, I did grow up in Chicago so I did have access to a great Museum of Art! It actually was originally free to get in and very relaxed. People could sit on the marble floor and sketch. I Have seen great art and even was chosen in High school to attend the Art institute of Chicago for one year every Saturday. We were led around by a professor who chose a painting and then explained why it was great AND showed us the illusions we were not aware of. The way the artist captures and manipulates the eye etc. And of course there would be art shows from Europe. When a European collection of Renoir came I was an adult with children living in Florida and poor but I bought tickets immediately and we drove to Chicago. It was so crowded but what a joy! Did you know John the Baptists tooth is in the Chicago art institute! Actually we do have many European treasures before Christ and after. BUT if you just relied on the Catholic church for History you got a selective history. All I know is I was very different then other children growing up and was always Worldly thinking. My world was big. Expansive. I think you are like that!



  • @blmoon
    I am so glad the picture helped you! I never know what inspires me when I chose them... My experience with the Catholic Church is probably quite different from yours. I was raised as a Catholic in the sense that I was baptised, had my first communion in a beautiful dress - that was the highlight - then I was confirmed. But My parents were not really church going people, my father openly declared he did not believe in God and had some heated discussions with the local priest who was a darling... We were never made to go to mass on Sundays, we did if we wanted to. After my mother died, I was angry with God, and to an extent, even with the Virgin Mary who had not preserved my mother. It was quite different in France, I have always known men and women to be mixed in church. But I have noticed, even in European countries where the majority is not Catholic, like the UK, that Catholics are more traditionalist. France is the eldest daughter or the Church, sort of nothing to prove. At the beginning of the XIIIIth century, Philippe the IVth king of France, had the Pope moved to France where a palace was built for him in the town of Avignon in the South of France and for over a century, the pope was in France, not in Rome. I think I owe my taste for history to my father, he was a great reader, and possessed a great analytical mind. I always loved history and I transmitted that to my son. He got a degree in history and political science at the Sorbonne, just for fun, parallel to his other studies. Lately, he has been reading a lot of ancient philosophy and theology. Again, out of curiosity and to cultivate himself. He is a learner. I am a pretty lose Catholic when it comes to following the precepts of the Church, I make my own choices, and I have chosen to totally reject the present pope. I believe he is evil! I go by the teachings of Jesus and taught my son that way too, but like him, I identify as a Catholic. The concept of Mary untying Knots appears in a work by St Irénée Bishop of Lyon, France 130 AD to 202 AD. This panting was done by Johann Georg Schmidtner and is in St Peter's church in Augsburg, Germany. I have never been there, I did no know of its existence when I was in Bavaria. I too feel there is a reason why she came to me now, and I am going to turn to her more often to unty the knots which are making my life so difficult right now... I am posting a picture of St Irénée.
    HUGS
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  • @radiantsun
    Our Catholic upbringing is very similar. Like we were born into it but it's getting watered down each generation! My grandmother on my mom's side was a devote Catholic, mass every morning! Her house was pristine clean (clean was closer to God!) and she had statues of saints in every room and even a ST Christopher on the car dashboard! and she always insisted I wear that necklace with the sacred heart. I wrote a poem about my grandparents to preserve those stories. So glad I did it because it would be lost by now! As you know few families are close to grandparents and their history stories. A lot of Irish in my family, my grandfather on my mom's side was German and could still write in German. Sad to say that Catholics are very much blemished by molestation and incest. YEP I said it. It is a dark dirty cancer that started generations ago and spread. So many lives destroyed by Priests. Priests were considered sacred leaders so it was an evil secret. The alter boys who survived often destroyed themselves or became abusers themselves. Anyway, that's a long book! My mother attended Catholic school with no other choice. I went my first few grades but then went to public school. We walked to a local Catholic school once a week for Catechism lessons in Catholic. My mother didn't go to mass but I was made to go every Sunday. Eventually, by the time I was older my best friend and I would skip mass and spend the basket donation on soda and candy! The only lessons I remember were the constant reminders from the nuns that as females we must keep ourselves chaste and not tempt males. I could not relate at all to anything Catholic. Nuns wore habits and covered themselves up like our bodies were bad! And that whole married to Christ thing for nuns? Shiny black patent leather shoes were popular in the sixties and the nuns forbade them in their classroom because they feared boys could see up our skirts in the shiny shoes! Oh lord. I have a published NUN poem. Nuns could often be horribly mean. I will never forget my scary nun experience when I was about 5. Maybe I will post it. I try not to post stuff strangers can google. Because America is young really compared to Europe the two generations before me were immigrants and many came with their languages and customs and superstitions. I have heard of St. Irene. I was baptized and yes did the Holy Communion big deal. And the Conformation. These were big deals! A special priest came in for those. A Cardinal I think. They dressed like kings. As girls we had to have the white dress and little veil. Weird customs! I can remember early on a woman was not even allowed in the church without something on her head. I can still picture women with a doily on their head! I did start my children Catholic but that faded fast and I preferred to raise them by example and by spiritual principles. If I think a person is non judgmental I have no problem saying I'm a Spiritualist. Otherwise I'm a non practicing Catholic.I grew up in an Irish Polish neighborhood. My husband is 100% Polish. His grandparents still spoke Polish. I know some Polish from that. VERY CATHOLIC . I didn't even know there were other religions! In the south it's more Baptists and Christians which is a broad term. I mean what a contradiction to be a good Christian AND belong to the KKK. I could talk history for days. And yes I was always obsessed with REAL history and had to dig up adult books for that because our schools before college gave us very edit romantic versions of our history. I wanted the human stories. All our past presidents and heroes were painted as perfect. Washington couldn't tell a lie! YADA YADA. i loved the real stuff. Not until college do you get the truth. Our heroes and leaders were often not so shiny. They may be drunks, molested slaves, did human failing things. I think we could sit in a beautiful park and talk forever about the irony of life! Personal I think both our rolls as educators of others demanded a early on birds eye view of the truth of relativity in history. How else could we be who we are? BLESSINGS!



  • @blmoon
    Oh yes! And I know just the park. History is to be studied with respect and I am really concerned about the way it is deconstructed, rewritten and reinvented these days. You have to see history in the context of the time, it makes no sense to see it through the present conception of things. It has become the fashion to say that everything in the past was bad and now we know so much better...! Well, all you need to do is look around a bit... I don't like the "New World", I don't like it a bit. We have no right to judge history, we must learn from it. Some of us have and do, but it is not the majority. The tendency is to change history to fit the agenda of a few, and most people are not like you and I and just believe anything they are supposed to believe. I thank God every day for giving me an analytical mind and a father who taught me to never take anything at face value. What I really love about the Catholic Church is all the wonderful art, all the marvelous churches it has given to the world, especially in France. Without the Church, all that art would never have existed. And think of all those wonderful manuscripts so beautifully illuminated by monks... All that must be cherished and preserved. I can't imagine a world where all this beauty has disappeared... and to think that most people today are totally ignorant of its existence ... If only for that beauty, I shall always praise the Catholic Church. I must admit that having an anti Catholic pope has brought me closer to the real Catholics. The Middles Ages were certainly not "the dark ages" as so many claim. Just look at these0_1556583766285_Sainte_chapelle_-_Upper_level.jpg pictures. With all our technology, there are only a handful of people still able to create something like this, and that is only copying...
    HUGS
    0_1556583394467_Sainte_Chapelle_-_Rosace.jpg



  • @radiantsun
    oh yes! I forget about old religious books...they were called a time of ILLUMINATION. I went through a time were I was so into making books. Now self publishing is the norm but they are artless. I loved designing and publishing books as a work of art. I have many antique books that have that beautiful illumination. Gorgeous gilded print. We do have some beautiful cathedrals in the bigger cities here that came with the first immigrants who brought architectural genius with them. They do not build like that anymore. What we do have now is all there will be. Buildings are not so much art statements. Money becomes an issue. Love the pictures. The catholic churches I knew were very ornate and lots of intricate stained glass. Not very cost efficient these days. In fact your beloved cathedral that just suffered the fire would not even stand a chance at restoration if it wasn't for the financial gifts of the people determined to save it.



  • @blmoon
    THis particular cathedral would have been restored, the State could not afford not to do it. But so many are being neglected... This was no accident, it would be too long to go into it. Tomorrow is a holiday here, Labour Day, but more importantly, it is also May Day and the day of the Lily of the Valley! It is good luck to give and receive a small bunch. I am posting one for you!
    Happy May Day!

    0_1556658752144_2AFEC949-AD31-4AF1-A8A3-FC491AD9F8AA.jpeg





  • @radiantsun
    we celebrated May Day when I was a child and Lily of the Valley was my favorite perfume as a young girl! THANK YOU!