BLMOON



  • @blmoon
    Thank you! Prayers do help. What she is taking is something very mild to prevent those violent outbursts until she sees a psychiatrist and has the IRM results. Whatever treatment she gets then, I don't know who is going to give it to her, I cannot follow her around the world, and she doesn't even know where she wants to go, but she can't stay here and she doesn't want to anyway. I maged to post the picture this time.
    Much love. šŸ’•
    0_1555197398103_11AF5D6A-E047-4529-9E88-1E65FD243B26.jpeg



  • @radiantsun
    LOVE!!!! This is how I see you! Your energy when you are most yourself. Sending you beauty from MY garden. Trying!!! won't upload!



  • @radiantsun ![0_1555199304371_322.jpg](Uploading 100%) my pics keep failing.!



  • @blmoon
    Pity. I would love to see some beauty from your garde... Maybe next time....
    And this is how I see YOU!
    0_1555239621221_763698B7-0A98-42A9-AE68-A5204730B21D.jpeg



  • weeeellllll ....you might have to resort to "hiding" the pills in her food or drink ....if that's what it takes to be SAFE around her ...and to get some peaceful time.



  • @radiantsun
    OH YES! You nailed it. HAHAHA!![0_1555277284828_341.jpg](Uploading 100%)



  • @Blmoon
    Tonight my heart bleeds dear Blmoon. The most beautiful jewl of France is being reduced to ashes. My beloved Notre Dame Cathedral is burning to the ground. Monsters are destroying our civilisation and this is a sad, sad day for France. The heart of the Catholic Church, much more so than Saint Peter's Basilica in Rome is in flames, destroyed for ever, during the Holly Week, right before Easter, what a coincidence! I can't stop crying for the most beautiful carhedral in the world, and one which meant so much to me. Saint Michael and his angels are really busy tonight, trying to save what still can... šŸ„µ šŸ„µšŸ„µ

    1_1555357646837_2170FD21-7F27-45CD-9CDC-D52692E5636C.jpeg 0_1555357646818_728FB946-456D-402A-809F-60589EBC69C5.png



  • I am so sorry Radiantsun...



  • @moonalisa
    Thank you moonalisa. I am very very sad and very, very angry.



  • @radiantsun
    such evil! It is only those who can feel the joy of the divine who also feel the most despair when evil's disregard shows itself. 0_1555362595429_quote-he-who-can-no-longer-pause-to-wonder-and-stand-rapt-in-awe-is-as-good-as-dead-his-eyes-are-closed-albert-einstein-56340.jpg



  • @Blmoon
    I can't stop crying, you knowhow much I loved that cathedral! Remember I tokd you abot the beautiful Chrustmas Midnight Mass...? Look at it tonight. I hate to see what is left tomortiw. You nly a few Sundays ago there was a smaller fire in a Church near me, this i a dayly occurrence, I suppose they have been oractising fir the big one !

    Notre Dame de Paris

    The heart of Paris,
    The soul of France.
    The most beautiful jewel
    Of the Catholic World,
    Is going up in flames
    To be no more,
    Than a beautiful memory
    Of our great civilisation.
    Destroyed by hatred,
    Evil envy and ignorance.
    Tonight I cry for France
    I cry for its blindness!
    I pray to Saint Michael
    To protect our city
    Of which he is guardian
    And protect our country
    Of which he is patron
    And may our Lord Jesus Christ
    Open the eyes of our people
    Before it is too late.
    Before out destruction is complete.
    But tonight I am angry,
    Very angry.
    France has no president!

    2_1555362943775_61479D6F-B9D8-4094-A3B2-DB121C7D6DF8.jpeg 1_1555362943770_42C83EA1-7B8A-4D43-A790-67AE0D09BEB9.jpeg 0_1555362943689_6C4CC764-B2FB-4FED-89D2-89EABD92BDEE.jpeg



  • @radiantsun
    AMEN!0_1555381395621_St_ Michael Homepage Light.png



  • @blmoon
    HShe had the MRI today, after a huge drama, she didn't want to do it and made a huge fuss.
    I had to specify in red that she would not accept contrast injection. She claimed we wanted to kill her and if I did not go back inside with her she would not go. I had to pay for it because she wouldn't although she will evntually get the money back. Then things were better untill tonight when she decided I had to call her friend in Canada who doesn't answer her calls. This was well past midnight here and I wanted to go to sleep, I had a heache and practically no voice which has been the case for a few days and with all this drama, no chance of getting bettrer! She made her bed in the hall !!!
    You are waiting for the results... well, there is nothing morphological, no tumour, no mini strokes... nothing one can see unless it is functional... we have an appointment with her doctor on Thursday and another with a neurologist. The problem with the latter is that we have not managed to get full coverage yet, she will refuse tƓoay and There is no reason why I should pay, she will get mos of the money refunded on her bank account. I would like to have a diagnosis and send her on her way. The doctor also says she must leave. There is a part of madness, nobsuestion about it.
    Hugs



  • @radiantsun
    surely a waste of money. Those small strokes often don't show up after the fact. Specially if there was no damage. The blood clotted long enough to cause symptoms but then passed. Really Radiant sun nothing will be resolved and I hope she disappears on you before you get stuck with the pricey neurological workup. You can't afford that and it would be justified if she was compliant but she will not be. Her mental disorder is going to be the final issue to address. A part of her knows she's running out of options. I pray she disappears on you . She won't be on the street. What a waste on the MRI without the contrast! I'm sorry you are going through this. It will end soon. HUGS!!



  • @blmoon
    What worries us, especially my son - he is not with her all the time - is her memory loss, the rest, we woud say good riddance but that she may mean that she goes and will not be able to handle her affairs and God knows what may happen to her. Today I asked her when I should call her friend and what she wanted me to say to her, and she had completely chaged her attitude towards her and she is a good friend again! Goid thing I didn't call yesterday. On the other hand, although sge gas been living with us fir totally free all this time, she doesn't miss an opportunity to make it clear that she thinks we are after her money, even her car... which neither of us would want. She told etoday that most of her money will go into her funeral anyway. I told her that was an excellent idea. By the way, she after tge drama yesterday I took a tablet and ear plugs and when I woke up she was in her bed! I am still trrigued to ket her go on her own when she has nowhere to live and everybody starts to avoid her
    I could go with her, but I can't afford it and ut woukd kill le to be with her all the time.
    Hugs



  • @Blmoon
    Sorry about the typos on my last two posts, I wronte them on my tablet in the dark with brightness turned down to the minimum. I feel so sad and helpless 'blmoon.



  • @radiantsun
    Don't worry i knew that and understood you! You are not helpless. A little trapped right now but really you are just plain drained. You can't be yourself under the assault you are under. I loved that you took a pill and put in earplugs! For my sanity when feeling my boundaries trampled in my house I have always had headphones and music. It is a great place to put up a in your face barrier to intruders and music serves as an energy lifter. You do have a choice in this "God knows what will happen to her" situation. You can't take on that responsibility. It's not an option...it would kill you. Sometimes there is no happy ending. Also, you are not the only person in the world meant to help her. She really has always existed ungratefully off of the kind hearts of others. It will not suddenly change. When has she ever really not gotten by? Yes she is in decline and her life will not in any way look like anything acceptable in your world so really this situation is no surprise. I think if she got on her own way towards home it would be just fine. Perfectly fine? No. Nothing in her life has ever been perfectly fine. Don't take responsibility for this circumstance. This drained feeling of being trapped is an old old long gone wound for you that you conquered already and you WILL have enough of this soon and you will TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You need some space for at least a day. I know it's hard right now to get up the energy but you need distance for at least a day. She feeds off of others and needs to relieve her own chaotic energy by pecking at kind souls who prefer to behave above that crazy. I know you have many loving kind intelligent friends. Now is the time to call on one. YOU ARE LOVED and you have earned being a good friend. A good sane friend date is in order. In fact do not be surprised if while you are gone for at least the day living your good life this situation will solve itself. Fear is not your friend. Don't go there. Know yourself....you do like to see the WHOLE road map ahead but most of your best decisions for advocating for yourself came with leaps of one step at a time faith. At most somewhere down the line she will end up in a hospital and deemed incompetent and you may be contacted legally to make decisions. I'm seeing surprises though on that possibility as she has rewritten her will so many times there is no telling what kind of legal paperwork she's filed. She has an estate and it will take care of her. You can't feel guilty. No one can live with her. Even a "shyster" looking for a free ride would run. You will be fine and your sister will be your sister. Make that friend phone call. That's what REAL friends are for. BLESSINGS!



  • @blmoon
    You surely know me and and your insight is amazing! This morning she said she would not go to see the neurologist with whom I had made an appointment and I said, ok, fine. Earlier we had an appointment with the general practitioner she has been seeing and she only decided to get dressed when we were supposed to be leaving. While we were in the waiting room, my son arrived because there was something he had found on the Internet he wanted to ask the doctor about. She made a fuss right there and refused to have my son come in with us. The doctor is of the same opinion, that it is a kind of severe depression and needs to be treated. When she complained about my son and I "talking behind her back", the doctor asked how we did that and it turned out that after listening to her all day, when my son comes home, we talk about things she is not interested in, and the doctor asked her if she had thought about moving to a hotel while we finish all the doctors stuff ! I liked that! She lied, saying she had taken care of me when my mother died and I was little!!! She couldn't even take care of herself! And she was nasty to me, my brother was my best friend and protector against her. She was always jealous of me and resented me for not being like her, and she always wanted to OWN me! After us, the doctor saw my son alone and reassured him that given the blood tests and everything else, it is clear that it is not a degenerative disease. She also told him we had done what was right and now it is her choice, her destiny. She must go and it is not our responsibility. She promised the doctor she would see the neurologist and after the memory testes, he said she is not in a condition to run her life and said to make another appointment. I did, but hope she will go before that. I did not much like him myself, he is rather impatient which I did not think fitting for the circumstances... but guess what, she liked him! I think she may be trying to put off her departure... She is living a separate life now, doesn't eat with us and treats the apartment as a hotel,.
    As for a day out, it is as if you had communication of that... my astronomer student who arrived a couple of days ago, invited me to lunch tomorrow and then we are going to have a lesson and visit something. We will be going to a favourite Art Nouveau I suggested and she loved the idea. Will post pictures. I am meeting her at 1pm and will be out all afternoon. I feel sorry for my son though... but she will most likely not pick a fight with him if I am not around. He also wants her gone and is going to try to get her a plane ticket tomorrow. Hopefully, she will go after Easter. I sometimes feel bad because I know she wants to be loved and by her behaviour, she makes herself totally unlovable, even hateful. She keeps alluding to her will in a veiled way, sometimes not so veiled, that she wants nothing more to do with us and she has made arrangements for all her money to be spent on her funeral, etc. She has no idea how little her money means to us. Even if she had an awful lot more, it would never be worth going through all this for. We did what we thought was right, perhaps our duty...? but now we deserve to have our home and our peace back. You are so right, REAL friends are a blessing, but to have real friends, one has to be a real friend!
    HUGS
    The statue of Notre Dame de Paris. It was in front of this statue that the poet Paul Claudel was converted.

    0_1555625535588_Notre Dame statue.jpg



  • @radiantsun
    WONDERFUL! I'm a little jealous of your Art Nouveau date! Sweet medicine and well deserved. I am drawn to the impressionists but Art Nouveau is so graceful and speaks to the female sense of empowerment. ENJOY!



  • @blmoon
    Thank you!šŸ˜Š

    I think this is a better picture. I aldo love mdieval art.šŸ˜Š

    0_1555627510198_FB0AB273-7466-4E07-BA36-51AFBBBDD6AC.jpeg