BLMOON



  • @blmoon
    Spot on about my sister! I have often though that myself. If I end up in a bad situation, I take responsibility for it and even when I could not avoid it, I still blame myself because I could or should have done something different. I cry and feel really bad. Not her! She blames everybody else, it is never her fault, and she will always blame me if she can. She is extremely distrustful and ends up in a mess with people she should not have trusted. I was telling my son the latest and he said she is so lucky to have so many people who help her, and I said "yes but they change their mind", he think it is not surprising seeing how she behaves. There is a second cousin who has been really kind to her for years and now has offered an empty house he has for her to leave all her things there while she goes to Canada where she intends to stay for at least one year, after she quarreled with the two friends who had originally accepted. Would you believe that she finds a way of being negative about HIM? She always plays the part that she is all alone and so on and so forth. I organised all sorts of things on the the phone for her, like movers, bank, etc. and then she went and did something else and claims they never called her when she was supposed to call them! Even she she cannot blame me for selling the house in such a reckless way. I had told her she should find a place first and that it takes time to find the right house, especially where she moved to which is an area where people don't sell houses. I know she regrets, but she convinced herself that she had no choice, she had to do it, she couldn't keep it any longer! I had told her that she could close the house and leave all her things there safely while she went to Canada, the expense of a closed house being minimal... and she accused me of wanting to go there on holiday while she was away!!! There I put her right immediately, and I was pretty firm. I told her the absolute truth, that we only went there because she was alone, had health problems, etc and that it was no fun at all with the heat, the mosquitoes (which feed on me from the first to the last day) putting up with her moods and nasty behaviour and the expense of driving there and pay for water and electricity... only advantage the pool, when we could go to our friends' house, have of the the way, less heat, and totally free with wifi and all, where we feel totally at home and no aggravation, and they are happy to be able to share it with us! That shut her up! A very old uncle died last weekend, that will keep her busy for a few days... she sees plenty of people... plenty of gossip. I realise there is nothing I can do to help her sort things out, even if I went there, it would take forever the way she keeps changing her mind and it would drive me crazy. Besides, I can do without the expense... she very generously offered to pay for HALF of my ticket and we could share a room in the hotel where she is staying, OMG! And what would be the reason for me to pay for the other half? Sorry for venting like this, I had to take it out of my system.
    I had another bad night, sleeping very badly, but thank God, no horrible dreams.
    I hope you are right about my son. Yes, you did say it would not be a straight path for him... I wish it was, but don't we all want that for our children? I often wonder how your son is doing with his children. He had a rough patch too...
    Thank you for listening :).
    I am posting two pictures of the lower floor of the Sainte Chapelle and one of the outside with Saint Michael watching over the people of Paris (very small I'm afraid but I did not have one and found it on the Internet). I am adding a better picture of Saint Michael.
    Just imagine that this jewel was built in the times that so many refer to as the "dark ages". Some people's ignorance has no limits !
    Hugs

    0_1548930379080_Ste_Chapelle_Basse_s.jpg 0_1548930198261_SainteChapelleBasse.jpg !
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    0_1548931229245_SteChapelleStMichel.jpg



  • @radiantsun
    good for you for venting! You do hold too much in with the intention of not being "beechy" but it does muck up your inner peace and the way you describe how others help but she is very ungracious and often down right offensive proves that YOUR too niceness is not just you! It is good for you to wonder why she gets away with it. To understand that helps guard you. She is a predator yet everyone senses there really is something very wrong with her and in that sense she is helpless and weak. My sister was like that....one day crying on the phone and it was real to me but then another day her attitude was so ugly, judgmental and such a turn about. As if after a break down her ego took over and suddenly she doesn't need anybody. She was horrible with money and any business. For awhile she was very very wealthy after marrying a man older than our father! She loved to show off her beautiful things that mostly sat in boxes. When visiting her last I would ride with her somewhere and had to move the piles of trash and mail to sit. Unopened mail filled the dash of her car! She lost millions just to poor handling of her affairs. I'm sure bankers and lawyers robbed her and she owned properties that piled up taxes and fines. I've never known her to have a job other than buying and selling within my mother's antique business. My mom tried forcing the business on all of us. My mom literally put down utilities on a shop and paid rent for me when I kept weakly saying NO. When I got loud about it and she git it that no I was not going into the antique business then I was banished and my mom did not talk to me for years even when in the same room.I haven't spoken to my sister since before my son passed. She was very ugly to my son saying awful things to family members. I do not hold any anger for her but after my son passed I still can not ever tolerate a relationship with her. I think if your sister truly hurt your son...that would be final for you as well! Now, I am aware she is and has always been mentally ill. Tragic but not my burden. Everything she touches turns to shit. A few years before my son passed she cried on his shoulder and talked him into moving states away to help her with promises of sending him to college in exchange. There was a good chiropractic school near her. I was devastated!!! Because I knew she would hurt him. I had to just let him learn and boy what a nightmare she caused him. I had a heated argument before my son left and shouted she will make you cry! My son said MOTHER! I'm a grown man, she is not going to make me cry. Months later he called and apologized after an encounter with both her and my mother brought him to tears. My son had the biggest heart. He said they were all staying at one of my sister's lake houses and my mother and her went on a hateful rant about ME! In front of him. My son was horrified and had not seen that side of them before. He told them they could not talk about me like that. They called him a momma's boy! They berated him because he called me everyday. My son was a talker and called all his favorite people! His phone calls were always uplifting and funny.. A lot of bad stuff happened I could fill pages and in the end my son spent his final years regretting and digging his way out of the damage. When he had me come get him and she realized he was not coming back she started the most hateful campaign against him. I did not respond. Anyone who knew my son knew his true character . I was just relieved he escaped but that experience devastated him his final years. I saw him cry after one of her hateful phone calls. My son had never been treated like that and often helped out others and it was rewarding. This was a first for him. He also had a very strong belief in family. He didn't understand why I wasn't close to her. I tried telling him that there were years of trying to help her and he was too young to remember. All I know is her behavior was ugly and I have forgiven her but I do not speak to her. She sent me a card after my son died and I felt nothing. Keep your son away from your sister. And thank you for the beautiful pictures! THAT is worth one's time....to enjoy the Divine best of human nature! I refuse to be tainted by my sister. I just have no feelings. And how interesting you mention Saint Michael! My visit with my oldest son was very timely, He never shares anything that would worry me but I always know when somethings hidden. I had worried although mostly he always handles his life challenges more than just well! He left his job and had a dry spell for awhile and his new job is NOT a good place but it pays the bills. He is a CEO of a company that is not a place that fits his sense of ethics! I was shocked and said calmly, Michael it will eat at your soul. And he said I know Momma. I know he has to work this out. It is very hard to be a mother! You have to give them room to find their own way. It is not easy! BLESSINGS! OH, did I tell you my youngest son who just turned 40. The freest of spirits who made it clear he would never have children. This shocked me early on because he loves children and animals and can be very nurturing. All my boys are nurtures. Well he announced a few months ago his new girlfriend is pregnant!!!! AND he's happy!



  • @blmoon
    My goodness Blmoon, you sister sounds even worse than mine. Mine is good with money, she is actually stingy and always claims to be broke, which is of course not true. She has beautiful things and never uses them, I have often wondered what is the use of that. She once told me she had too many glasses and would give me the ones which had from my brother but then changed her mind! My bother was like me, he used what he had, he didn’t keep it for another life, which is just as well since he did not live long. She is always afraid people will take advantage of her and ends up spending three times as much for the same job because she doesn’t get it done by a professional in the first place. The way yours behaved to your son is really disgraceful. No wonder you did not want to have any more to do with her. No need to worry about my son getting to close to my sister, he knows her and has learned with his father how to deal with narcissistic manipulative people, and she knows it. He always tells me I shouldn’t let her affect me like that – he used to say the same about his father – just ignore them. Your son sounds like a really wonderful young man with an enormous heart. No wonder you must miss him so much! Mine is very demonstrative but I know he loves me very much. He is very rational and although he will never admit it, his father has hurt him very deeply… perhaps that is what has made him learn to be so perceptive about people. He is very rational, perhaps because he is a mathematician :). So sad that your son was so hurt by her. I hope it will haunt her to the grave. I think you feel about your sister a bit like me about my ex. That he hurt me was bad enough but that he so viciously and unnecessarily hurt his own son, that I shall never forgive. I am so sorry Michael is not happy with his job, he deserves better. I hope he will soon find a way out of that. It is hard when you have a family to take care of and you are not really free to just walk out. He will work it out, I am sure. He has been through some rough times already, he will handle it. But as a mother, you can’t help worrying. And what wonderful news about your youngest! The best part is that he is HAPPY! Wonderful! Another little bundle of joy for you to love! I am posting a picture of Mucha's The The Arts: Poetry. I thought it would be fitting for a poetress.
    Hugs
    0_1549927244351_Les Arts_3_La poésie.jpg



  • @radiantsun
    You always post the perfect picture! You are the servant of the muse. This is exactly my mood! I have a poetry deadline and I'm feeling the pressure as each day goes by to get something amazing down! I have the subject in my head and many lines but it's that opening of the poem....where to begin that I'm not getting down. I am part waiting for the muse to deliver but getting nervous. Her expression says it exactly! The artist gets it!. Your energy feels much better and stronger than it was. I'm glad. Thanks for the pic, it made me smile and reminded me to just relax and the muse will come through! Hugs!



  • @Blmoon
    Glad my energy felt better, I am not sure I do. 😁 A bit of good news today. My sister is finally leaving for Canada on Monday. Phew! Again, she is lucky that people always end up helping her no matter what. She managed to smash her car and a cousin she had been complaining about, is taking care of everything for her. A friend she has been bickering about, keeps all her furniture in her house, and another cousin she also complains about, has allowed her to put all the boxes with the rest of her stuff in an empty house he owns. So now she is free to go and I hope not to hear any more complaining from her for a while! Fingers crossed. I am bit submerged in all sorts of stuff and feeling rather depressed... I need to get out more, but I find all sorts of excuses not to and I don't seem to get much done. I am tired and wake up in pain and not rested. I am also concerned that we may have to move out of the apartment before we are ready. The present government has increased taxes on real estate and the landlord and his wife are thinking of selling. What I heard is that they will not let it again when we leave, I just hope they wait until we are in a position to leave...
    On a lighter note, how is your poem coming along? Maybe you finished it...? I am posting another picture you might find inspiring... It is another one from the Arts series: Music.
    Hugs.

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  • @Blmoon
    I talked too soon! I spent the entire afternoon sorting out problems with my sister's trip on the Internet and on the phone to Canada and with her and a girl who was helping her on the Spanish side. I didn't even have lunch, and do you think she could say thank you"? On top of that, two letters came for her from the French pension, something else I have to deal with! Also received her Canadian taxes two days ago, my son has been doing her taxes for her, but I told him he is not doing them this time. Since she will be in Canada, she can find someone to do them there, and I am sending the whole thing to her there. I have a real phobia of administrative procedures and have a really hard time dealing with mine and end up having to deal with hers!
    Off to get some dinner. Another burden! But wi just realised, it is Same nt Valentine's Day!!! 🥰😍😘 Happy Vanentine!💕💐
    And onother picture to bring you joy and celebrate the end of your poem: Danse

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  • @Blmoon
    Oh dear Blmoon, I need your prayers! I wish my sister was now being her usual pain in the neck. Something terrible has happened and I don't know what. She is in Canada but in a terrible state. I just talked to her friend and she is really worried. She can't remember anything of the long trip there, only that when she arrived in at the shuttle drop off point, which was a Holiday Inn, she got lost and was so unlucky as to come across an stupid policeman who didn't have enough sens to realise that she had a panic attack and didn't know any better than to overwhelm her with questions. They finally took her to her friend's apartment but she is totally disoriented and her friend is very concerned. She doesn't seem to know where she is most of the time and wants to come back. I told her friend that she should have an brain MRI but it seems that she would have to wait for three months!!! She could have it done quicker in the US but there is no one to take her there, her friend doesn't have a passport although she lives right at the border. Her friend's GP who it seems is a kind person, is going to see her on Tuesday, and I pray that she finds a way for her to be examined and treated straight away. I am really worried and there is very little I can do from here. If she doesn't get better, I or my son will have to go and bring her back. Apart from the expense, which I can't afford, and the fact that our apartment is far too small for the two of us let alone three, she is bound to reproach us later for doing the wrong thing. I feel so helpless with her being so far away... She had been suffering from loss of memory and no wonder it had got worse with the trauma of finding herself without a house and nowhere to put her belongings. On top of that, she had an accident with her car just before she left for Canada... It is a lot for one person... Now I think I should have kept her here longer after Christmas and taken her to see a doctor here... I did not realise it was this bad. Your prayers and any insight will be greatly appreciated.
    Hugs



  • @Blmoon I see that you haven't been around for a while Blmoon, I hope you are well.
    I am very worried about my sister and what is going to happen next. She is still in Canada but she has to wait for several months to have an IRM and whatever treatment she needs. I fear the worst and given the circumstances I have no choice but to have her come and stay with me, see all necessary doctors and have necessary tests, and I pray that she be treated and her condition can be reversed. I don't know what I am going to otherwise. It will be a lot faster to see doctors and get a diagnosis, and treatment here. I feel terrible for her, but I also feel that after everything I have been through, I didn't deserve this now. I am feeling sorry for myself but mostly terrified because I cannot afford a bigger apartment and it will be hell in this tiny place. If it is just until she gets better, I can handle it, but what if that is nit the case?
    Hugs



  • @Blmoon
    Dear Blmoon, tomorrow is the day my sister arrives from Canada. I have no choice but to take her in my tiny apartment. And I have no idea for how long or what I am going to do next. I am going to do what I can to help her. We have excellent doctors here, thank God! She is entitled to health insurance and we are going to try to get her the best treatment possible, although there will be a part to pay.. We first have to find out what the problem is and wherebit comes from. I hope and pray that it is not as bad as her friend suspects. After all I have been thorough, I don't deserve this. And neither does my son who is busy setting up this company... ibreally miss you Blmoon.
    Hugs 🤗



  • @Blmoon
    Right again Blmoon, sooo right! I am going to keep a diary to remind myself of how mean my sister is. I have a tendancy to forget the negative side of people and life in general, and I am glad I do, or I would become like her, full of hate without anything positive to say about anyone. The only person she never used to speak bad of was a friend she had - and I mean HAD - because after staying with her for a month, I do not believe there is much friendhip left on either side. Now, there isn't one single person she does not talk bad of. I also realise that not only she not only envies me and resents me for being so different from her that she does not understand it, for having always been popular when I was young and still now having friends, real friends not like her, but I honestly believe she truly hates me.
    I just saw that she has been here for 10 days and it feels like an eternity. I have not a moment for myself, she doesn't let me concentrate on anything. When today after an awful lot of work I had finishef a file to be sent to her French pension after having shown the whole thing to her, page by page, having read the letter to her and showing it to her at the same time so that she could read it too, after having given it to her to sign, leaving her ample time to read it again. I had the misfortune to put it in the enveloppe and seal it. Then hell broke lose! She made the most incredible scene because I had sealed the enveloppe without her seeing what I had put in it. I have never seen such xtrele suspicion, not only of me but now of my son too... i am sure she suffers from some kind of dementia and I am terrified. Tonight I prepared a favourite dish of hers she had said she was looking forward to eating. I started a little late because I had been working on her paperwork all day, and she started to eat while I was in the middle of my cooking, I thought it was a snack, but no, it was a full meal and then she refused to eat with us. Know what, it didn't even hurt. The meal was delicious, her loss! The problem is that all this aggressivity, SUSPICION, all this yealousy, this permanent shouting at me and these permanent crises are making me physically sick. I have an appointment with the cardiologist on monday which he gave so quickly when I called on his mobile because he is concerned about the symtoms. Do you think she cares? Her only concern is that we cannot ho to submit her fike to the public health insurance!
    We are doing all we can so that she oays as little as possible for her medical exams and eventual treatment. She needs a brain MRI which is not cheap and I am trying to get it free for her, and all she has to say is that she doesn't want it! I try not to think about it abpnd get her the best dictors and treatment possible, but if it is not reversible? What am I going to do? She is an adult and she keeps saying regrets having come here and will never come again...She wants to go to .Canada and I'm afraid with all thid back and forth, she will spend all her money and bevleft without a home...! She s so horrible to me that I cannot believe that is the disease, she simply hates me because she is full on envy. It gets to a point where it is hard for me feel empathy for her. A total nightmare dear Blmoon. Hope you.ll be back soon. Îliss you
    Hugs 🤗



  • @radiantsun
    WELLLLL! What a round about I traveled to see THIS post! Sorry for the absence and I do miss my special connections but this site can be very very negatively annoying and I have been like you in deep with my own NEEDS and must listen closely. I was at my computer and went to hit another short cut and BOOM up came Tarot...I went to close that NO NO but got an Angel nudge so opened it up and this post of yours popped up. But Tarot wouldn't let me sign in! Took me 15 minutes at least to go around with that one. But here you are and I want to help. You have always been "for real" and and never a waste of energy. The Angels do not lie. Your post is ten days old? Did they find your sisters stroke yet. I see two issues that intertwines her physical reality but ALSO her mental thinking pattern that tends to put her in places of being saved, taken care of and the older she gets the stronger hold this has over her. I know this is an awful visual but Spirit shows me a mosquito! Or some kind of bug that with a sting needs a host! You can ketch me up for a current reading. I owe you a thank you for the pics during my writing focus...The last one was right on! I was struggling and it had the answer. I did get a poem included in that publication. In fact the reading was last Saturday. I will pray you find this HUGS AND BLESSINGS!



  • @blmoon
    Oh dear Blmoon...! I knew you would be back and although I have been checking only episodically, tonight just before going to sleep I felt a spark of hope that you may have answered, I checked and had the great joy of seeing your post. 😘
    Things are bad and today they got to the point I called her doctor on her mobile, she called me back and said to be ready tomorrow, she will call le at 8:30 and tell me when to go, she will have to cancel another patient whose case she knows not to be urgent, but at that time, she didn't know who yet. My sister hasn't had the MRI yet, she doesn't want to spend any money at all and we have done everything for her to get full coverage but it takes longer. The doctor told her lucky she is that we have arranged everything for her, and to get full coverage when so many needy people don't. I for one, have not got. But she doesn't see that. She has an appointment with a psychiatrist on Monday, the MRI on Tuesday and a neurologist on Thursday. And now she decided she has to go back to Canada straight away, and we realised that she is afraid of the results but also that we want to put her in psychiatric hospital. That is why the doctor is going to see her tomorrow, to explain that that is exactly what we are trying to avoid. She dorsn't trust us and she thinks we are after her money, when I am paying for everything. I had to see the cardiologist to reassure lyself and ly sone about some syntoms, and he told me that old hates come back in these cases and that she never loved me, which I already knew. My heart is healthy by the way, just too much stress and pain.
    I am so glad my picture did help you, it was meant to.
    Big hug.



  • @radiantsun
    Sounds like you are not just personally stressed but also picking up her icky energy. Panic and fear is exhausting. Please do visit some beauty and listen to music! It soothes your soul. Your cardio sounds like a very intuitive caring man to bother picking up and sharing that opinion. He is so right! As awful as this event is it is the dark before the dawn when healing is called for. YOUR healing. Your sister has always been mentally ill. Yet in a functional way. She's in a place where her options are dwindling. I am picking up two health issues. Mini strokes. Schematic? Something like that....they can happen on a regular bases but not last or do great damage but can turn bad. Also a blood sugar issue....more low than high and somethings off with her thyroid. The two may be related. Also, the mental illness that has always been just under the wire is now peaking. It could be a hyper thyroid issue increasing paranoia. It's going to take several treatment approaches to address it all but the main focus will be on the issue of future strokes. A lot of medicine suggestions will not be welcomed. You are so compassionate to help her get top tier coverage! She will need it although getting her co-oporation to follow treatment will be a struggle. She may give in when she gets it that hospitalization will be her future if she ignores treatment. Both my husband and I just went on medicare and like you I could only afford the basic tier but because of all my husbands health issues I could not not afford the higher coverage! My advice for now is to focus on YOUR needs and well being. You can not control her behavior. You know what energizes you and gives you joy. Have a decadent meal , visit a grand majestic place. Listen to music and ignore her complaints. SMELL THE ROSES! YOU ARE LOVED!!! I know it's hard to find gratitude or be thankful in this mess but feel the joy of BEING YOU! Your sister has never truly felt Joy. You have always felt God's presence in the magic of human greatness. BLESSINGS!



  • @blmoon
    Thank you so much for your wonderful words Blmoon. I woke up after a beautiful dream and immediately, the terrible reality hit me and I had to get up and see if I had an answer from you. This is why the Doctor is seeing is today, she wants her to undertand that we are all doing is everything to avoid her being hospitalised. You comunicated the mini stroke part to me in my sleep because it is tge first thing I thought of when I woke up. She had blood tests as soon as she got here, and everything is normal, including rhe thyroid where the results couldn't be better. You are definitely right about the mental illness, she has always gad these crises I didn't understand, she aways made rush reckless decisions, but I never realized she was sick. My cardio is a jewl and many doctors here are very compassionate. I have basic coverage which about 70% and I had to get a private insurance to cover the rest and sometimes I still have to pay a bit. I have been very lucky with specialists who are ysually very exoensive and mostly make me pay what they know I'll get back from the insurance. For exemple, the psychiatrist my sister is supposed to see on Monday, pnly takes her because she is being recommended by my doctor who is a friend of hers. My sister has no idea how hard it is to constitute a network of Doctors as I have done and which she can now benefit from. I have a full time job with this and it is consumming me. There are several crises a day where she accuses us of the worst possible intentions. She cannot be locked up in the tiny apartment, so I have to spend my time outside with her and I have no time to take care of my own things. This is also affecting my son who is working on setting up his business and can't concentrate, and it affects him emotionally as well. Yesterday she asked him to help her to get a plane ticket back to Canada - where she has to wait three months for treatment and has niwhere to live - and he said he would not take such responsibility. And of course, she thinks we try to keep her here when all we want is for her to be well enough to go where she wants and get our lifes back. I am going back to bed for an hour but I don't exoect to sleep or have any more beautiful dreams... Thank you dear friend, it has done me a world of good to be able to talk to you. You have all along been my most faithful friend and I am most grateful for that.
    Much love and a big hug.



  • @radiantsun
    Now I am wondering if the issue with the thyroid and low blood sugar is connected to YOU! Are you having any occasional symptoms? It would show up as racing heart that comes and goes, Restless sleep followed by exhaustion. The low blood sugar as well would feel like a panic attack almost....a sudden irritability. Sometimes thyroid tests aren't accurate. Same thing with low blood sugar it can be fine sometimes. I don't see you being stuck too long with your sister.. Start your day with a prayer to ST Michael for confidence, strength and protection. Also ask him to help you heal from all the traumas of that relationship. Ask him to work with you in your dreams so you can gain clarity during this crises. It does offer you a healing purpose. Again, Spirit insists you will not be burdened with babysitting your sister too much longer. And thank you for the sweet words! I'm very fond of you. BLESSINGS!



  • WOW-WE-WOW .....what a lot the universe has dumped on you! You have been chosen to be the advocate for your sister's journey. Not only because your family ...but because you have the strength and discipline and organization to see things get moving and taken care of.

    I sense "split personalities" also besides the mental illness. Its as if there is a different person in her head telling her to RUN because they know she is about to get the answers and help she really needs. She is scared to death. IF she has other personalities they do not want to be destroyed.

    Yes ...you and the family are handling things pretty well so far ...but it is exhausting and stressful for sure.

    Since you are around her all the time ....anything you do or have around will also affect her on some level ... especially music. Don't know if watching you do gardening, sewing small items like embroidery or applique, working a puzzle, etc would calm her down or be more distracting to you since you are there but not focusing on her activity. IF it doesn't cause a problem with watching her ...... it could calm her down ...and allow you some relaxing time.



  • @blmoon
    Yes! Right again! I am hypo and was for years on a treatment which didn't work. Finally I found out that drops instead of pills do work. Only, I had not had a test for three or four months and now found out my tsh is too low. I need to have tests more often. Low sugar... hadn't thought of that... I'll ask the Dr to put that on my next nlood test prescription. Actually, I was doing pretty well, I thought, before this business with my sister... The Dr told her today that she has to have all the tests and see all the specialists I have arraged for her and that she is very lucky my son and I organised everything so well for her, that many people wait for six weeks for an MRI. She also told her that if she goes to Canada the state she is in now, she will have to wait fir six months to have see doctors and have tests and she will end up being hospitalised, that she keeps running away from treatment, and what if she has a tumor? That once the diagnosis has been made and a tumor has been ruled and she has the right treatment, she is free to go to Canada or wherever she wants and make her own plans, but then it will no longer be her sister's (me) or nephew's responsibility. Sge asked if she trusted her to which she said she did.... Today she took her medication three tiles as she is supposed to and there was no drama. She still makes a point of not taking it when I remind her. Still, it was the first day she did not bring up money, pension, bank accounts, not being abke to ozy for doctors and that sort of stuff. I only hope she continues to take those tablets at least until she sees the psychiatrist on Monday. This has been so far a full time iccupation and I have not had the time to do anything for myself and I am exhausted of explaining the same thing hundreds of times and being told i a violent way that we keep things from her. She is physically ok, but she will not make a cup of tea, she expects to be served and expects me to take her wherever she wants to go without the slightest consideration for what else I may have to do. I don't think all that is the illness.
    Thank you for your support, I hope you are right and she will soon be gone, but able to take are of her affairs and no more reckless decisions... I shall take your advice and turn to Saint Michael in the way you say. I usally do but I'm afraid in this situation, probably not well enough... I really have no privacy at all, either she starts a crisis or doesn't stop talking about people in an extremely negative way. It is draing and exhausting.
    Yoir reading is most reassuring, if I am not to be her babysitter much longer, it can only mean that her illness is not too serious and can be easily treated.
    Thank you for being there for me, thank you for being my rock.
    HUGS 💕 💕💕💕



  • @radiantsun
    Your sister is my husband! when his illness is bad! She is obviously manic. You must be on high alert at all times because their actions are unpredictable which makes someone like you or me who have excellent insight to peoples next move!!! And to be an empath( and you most definitely are!) It's extra draining just sharing space with such painful energy. Despite how rude and self centered their attitude beneath that is someone suffering great pain. Their brains are racing. They see bad things everywhere. THATS the hook that can get us trapped There's no way other people get it. Mental illness is so ILLOGICALLY based that it is exhausting to even try to describe it. You do have other events in your past where someone's mental illness trapped you.Most families send their loved ones to the hospital to be stabilized. Often Manic depressants do NOT take their meds properly. They like the beginning stage of manic as it is like happy juice and so pleasant. But the brain chemical burn out gets ugly. I feel your last nerve! NOW is your reality the hard earned fight the last ten years you made the persistent intention to find change no matter how hard or uncomfortable it would be. That's why Spirit is happy to announce this time you will see your healing in action. You made the changes. It doesn't matter if this departure of hers is a perfect happy ending with fairy dust OR no happy ending and she just stomps off into the sunset. You will be sad but you will love the relief, not your circus and not your monkeys, sweet Jesus thank you and God bless the Angels who take over. Sweet guiltless surrender! BLESSINGS!



  • @blmoon
    I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to live with that every day of your life, I think it wiuld kill me, I am not as resilient as you are. It already unbearable this short time... Yesterday evening she pretended to take her tablet and didn't, and right after dinner she started attacking me in an extremely violent way. My son had the right attitude, he told me to ignore her and helped me to another , I had woken up with a fever, a bad sore throat and no voice, so you can imagine how I was feeling... After a few minutes, she went to bed and was fast asleep in no time at all. I, of course, could not sleep for a long while. I still have no voice and tomorrow I have a student on Skype, I hope it will be back by then... All that no diubt accounts for my being so dull today... I can't even try to make up for it with a picture, it won't let le post it. 😤
    Hugs



  • @radiantsun
    Sending you prayers! My husband is not always off the rails but has been mostly sick the last few years. I am too old for it now and have already discussed my options for hospitalization if he goes manic too long. They usually are stable as long as they take their meds and avoid the triggers which they crave. They should not have caffien or too much salt yet they crave salt. During manic stages they will avoid real meals and binge on sugary salty junk. No one can babysit her if she is not at least accepting treatment. You need recharging! HUGS! You will feel better soon!0_1555194519896_220px-Erzengel_Michael-Statue_über_dem_Portal_der_St._Michaeliskirche_Hamburg.jpg ![0_1555194677456_341.jpg](Uploading 100%) ![0_1555194730370_341.jpg](Uploading 100%)