• @blmoon
    Spot on about my sister! I have often though that myself. If I end up in a bad situation, I take responsibility for it and even when I could not avoid it, I still blame myself because I could or should have done something different. I cry and feel really bad. Not her! She blames everybody else, it is never her fault, and she will always blame me if she can. She is extremely distrustful and ends up in a mess with people she should not have trusted. I was telling my son the latest and he said she is so lucky to have so many people who help her, and I said "yes but they change their mind", he think it is not surprising seeing how she behaves. There is a second cousin who has been really kind to her for years and now has offered an empty house he has for her to leave all her things there while she goes to Canada where she intends to stay for at least one year, after she quarreled with the two friends who had originally accepted. Would you believe that she finds a way of being negative about HIM? She always plays the part that she is all alone and so on and so forth. I organised all sorts of things on the the phone for her, like movers, bank, etc. and then she went and did something else and claims they never called her when she was supposed to call them! Even she she cannot blame me for selling the house in such a reckless way. I had told her she should find a place first and that it takes time to find the right house, especially where she moved to which is an area where people don't sell houses. I know she regrets, but she convinced herself that she had no choice, she had to do it, she couldn't keep it any longer! I had told her that she could close the house and leave all her things there safely while she went to Canada, the expense of a closed house being minimal... and she accused me of wanting to go there on holiday while she was away!!! There I put her right immediately, and I was pretty firm. I told her the absolute truth, that we only went there because she was alone, had health problems, etc and that it was no fun at all with the heat, the mosquitoes (which feed on me from the first to the last day) putting up with her moods and nasty behaviour and the expense of driving there and pay for water and electricity... only advantage the pool, when we could go to our friends' house, have of the the way, less heat, and totally free with wifi and all, where we feel totally at home and no aggravation, and they are happy to be able to share it with us! That shut her up! A very old uncle died last weekend, that will keep her busy for a few days... she sees plenty of people... plenty of gossip. I realise there is nothing I can do to help her sort things out, even if I went there, it would take forever the way she keeps changing her mind and it would drive me crazy. Besides, I can do without the expense... she very generously offered to pay for HALF of my ticket and we could share a room in the hotel where she is staying, OMG! And what would be the reason for me to pay for the other half? Sorry for venting like this, I had to take it out of my system.
    I had another bad night, sleeping very badly, but thank God, no horrible dreams.
    I hope you are right about my son. Yes, you did say it would not be a straight path for him... I wish it was, but don't we all want that for our children? I often wonder how your son is doing with his children. He had a rough patch too...
    Thank you for listening :).
    I am posting two pictures of the lower floor of the Sainte Chapelle and one of the outside with Saint Michael watching over the people of Paris (very small I'm afraid but I did not have one and found it on the Internet). I am adding a better picture of Saint Michael.
    Just imagine that this jewel was built in the times that so many refer to as the "dark ages". Some people's ignorance has no limits !

    0_1548930379080_Ste_Chapelle_Basse_s.jpg 0_1548930198261_SainteChapelleBasse.jpg !

  • @radiantsun
    good for you for venting! You do hold too much in with the intention of not being "beechy" but it does muck up your inner peace and the way you describe how others help but she is very ungracious and often down right offensive proves that YOUR too niceness is not just you! It is good for you to wonder why she gets away with it. To understand that helps guard you. She is a predator yet everyone senses there really is something very wrong with her and in that sense she is helpless and weak. My sister was like day crying on the phone and it was real to me but then another day her attitude was so ugly, judgmental and such a turn about. As if after a break down her ego took over and suddenly she doesn't need anybody. She was horrible with money and any business. For awhile she was very very wealthy after marrying a man older than our father! She loved to show off her beautiful things that mostly sat in boxes. When visiting her last I would ride with her somewhere and had to move the piles of trash and mail to sit. Unopened mail filled the dash of her car! She lost millions just to poor handling of her affairs. I'm sure bankers and lawyers robbed her and she owned properties that piled up taxes and fines. I've never known her to have a job other than buying and selling within my mother's antique business. My mom tried forcing the business on all of us. My mom literally put down utilities on a shop and paid rent for me when I kept weakly saying NO. When I got loud about it and she git it that no I was not going into the antique business then I was banished and my mom did not talk to me for years even when in the same room.I haven't spoken to my sister since before my son passed. She was very ugly to my son saying awful things to family members. I do not hold any anger for her but after my son passed I still can not ever tolerate a relationship with her. I think if your sister truly hurt your son...that would be final for you as well! Now, I am aware she is and has always been mentally ill. Tragic but not my burden. Everything she touches turns to shit. A few years before my son passed she cried on his shoulder and talked him into moving states away to help her with promises of sending him to college in exchange. There was a good chiropractic school near her. I was devastated!!! Because I knew she would hurt him. I had to just let him learn and boy what a nightmare she caused him. I had a heated argument before my son left and shouted she will make you cry! My son said MOTHER! I'm a grown man, she is not going to make me cry. Months later he called and apologized after an encounter with both her and my mother brought him to tears. My son had the biggest heart. He said they were all staying at one of my sister's lake houses and my mother and her went on a hateful rant about ME! In front of him. My son was horrified and had not seen that side of them before. He told them they could not talk about me like that. They called him a momma's boy! They berated him because he called me everyday. My son was a talker and called all his favorite people! His phone calls were always uplifting and funny.. A lot of bad stuff happened I could fill pages and in the end my son spent his final years regretting and digging his way out of the damage. When he had me come get him and she realized he was not coming back she started the most hateful campaign against him. I did not respond. Anyone who knew my son knew his true character . I was just relieved he escaped but that experience devastated him his final years. I saw him cry after one of her hateful phone calls. My son had never been treated like that and often helped out others and it was rewarding. This was a first for him. He also had a very strong belief in family. He didn't understand why I wasn't close to her. I tried telling him that there were years of trying to help her and he was too young to remember. All I know is her behavior was ugly and I have forgiven her but I do not speak to her. She sent me a card after my son died and I felt nothing. Keep your son away from your sister. And thank you for the beautiful pictures! THAT is worth one's enjoy the Divine best of human nature! I refuse to be tainted by my sister. I just have no feelings. And how interesting you mention Saint Michael! My visit with my oldest son was very timely, He never shares anything that would worry me but I always know when somethings hidden. I had worried although mostly he always handles his life challenges more than just well! He left his job and had a dry spell for awhile and his new job is NOT a good place but it pays the bills. He is a CEO of a company that is not a place that fits his sense of ethics! I was shocked and said calmly, Michael it will eat at your soul. And he said I know Momma. I know he has to work this out. It is very hard to be a mother! You have to give them room to find their own way. It is not easy! BLESSINGS! OH, did I tell you my youngest son who just turned 40. The freest of spirits who made it clear he would never have children. This shocked me early on because he loves children and animals and can be very nurturing. All my boys are nurtures. Well he announced a few months ago his new girlfriend is pregnant!!!! AND he's happy!

  • @blmoon
    My goodness Blmoon, you sister sounds even worse than mine. Mine is good with money, she is actually stingy and always claims to be broke, which is of course not true. She has beautiful things and never uses them, I have often wondered what is the use of that. She once told me she had too many glasses and would give me the ones which had from my brother but then changed her mind! My bother was like me, he used what he had, he didn’t keep it for another life, which is just as well since he did not live long. She is always afraid people will take advantage of her and ends up spending three times as much for the same job because she doesn’t get it done by a professional in the first place. The way yours behaved to your son is really disgraceful. No wonder you did not want to have any more to do with her. No need to worry about my son getting to close to my sister, he knows her and has learned with his father how to deal with narcissistic manipulative people, and she knows it. He always tells me I shouldn’t let her affect me like that – he used to say the same about his father – just ignore them. Your son sounds like a really wonderful young man with an enormous heart. No wonder you must miss him so much! Mine is very demonstrative but I know he loves me very much. He is very rational and although he will never admit it, his father has hurt him very deeply… perhaps that is what has made him learn to be so perceptive about people. He is very rational, perhaps because he is a mathematician :). So sad that your son was so hurt by her. I hope it will haunt her to the grave. I think you feel about your sister a bit like me about my ex. That he hurt me was bad enough but that he so viciously and unnecessarily hurt his own son, that I shall never forgive. I am so sorry Michael is not happy with his job, he deserves better. I hope he will soon find a way out of that. It is hard when you have a family to take care of and you are not really free to just walk out. He will work it out, I am sure. He has been through some rough times already, he will handle it. But as a mother, you can’t help worrying. And what wonderful news about your youngest! The best part is that he is HAPPY! Wonderful! Another little bundle of joy for you to love! I am posting a picture of Mucha's The The Arts: Poetry. I thought it would be fitting for a poetress.
    0_1549927244351_Les Arts_3_La poésie.jpg

  • @radiantsun
    You always post the perfect picture! You are the servant of the muse. This is exactly my mood! I have a poetry deadline and I'm feeling the pressure as each day goes by to get something amazing down! I have the subject in my head and many lines but it's that opening of the poem....where to begin that I'm not getting down. I am part waiting for the muse to deliver but getting nervous. Her expression says it exactly! The artist gets it!. Your energy feels much better and stronger than it was. I'm glad. Thanks for the pic, it made me smile and reminded me to just relax and the muse will come through! Hugs!

  • @Blmoon
    Glad my energy felt better, I am not sure I do. 😁 A bit of good news today. My sister is finally leaving for Canada on Monday. Phew! Again, she is lucky that people always end up helping her no matter what. She managed to smash her car and a cousin she had been complaining about, is taking care of everything for her. A friend she has been bickering about, keeps all her furniture in her house, and another cousin she also complains about, has allowed her to put all the boxes with the rest of her stuff in an empty house he owns. So now she is free to go and I hope not to hear any more complaining from her for a while! Fingers crossed. I am bit submerged in all sorts of stuff and feeling rather depressed... I need to get out more, but I find all sorts of excuses not to and I don't seem to get much done. I am tired and wake up in pain and not rested. I am also concerned that we may have to move out of the apartment before we are ready. The present government has increased taxes on real estate and the landlord and his wife are thinking of selling. What I heard is that they will not let it again when we leave, I just hope they wait until we are in a position to leave...
    On a lighter note, how is your poem coming along? Maybe you finished it...? I am posting another picture you might find inspiring... It is another one from the Arts series: Music.

    0_1550101325438_Les Arts_4_La musique.jpg

  • @Blmoon
    I talked too soon! I spent the entire afternoon sorting out problems with my sister's trip on the Internet and on the phone to Canada and with her and a girl who was helping her on the Spanish side. I didn't even have lunch, and do you think she could say thank you"? On top of that, two letters came for her from the French pension, something else I have to deal with! Also received her Canadian taxes two days ago, my son has been doing her taxes for her, but I told him he is not doing them this time. Since she will be in Canada, she can find someone to do them there, and I am sending the whole thing to her there. I have a real phobia of administrative procedures and have a really hard time dealing with mine and end up having to deal with hers!
    Off to get some dinner. Another burden! But wi just realised, it is Same nt Valentine's Day!!! 🥰😍😘 Happy Vanentine!💕💐
    And onother picture to bring you joy and celebrate the end of your poem: Danse