BLMOON



  • @Blmoon
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    Hi Blmoon,
    It took me a long time to recover, physically and mentally, but I am quite well now. How are you? I am glad to see you are still around. So much to catch up with. Would love to share a couple of things with you. Something you predicted some time ago turned out just as you said.
    Hope you are well.
    Hugs
    Radiantsun



  • RADIANTESUN!!!
    I have thought of you often and very much the last couple weeks. I said a prayer you would find me!! What a yummy color rose....or is that a Camellia? I've been taking photos a lot since gardening again. I was watching a television show about great chefs in France. Beautiful countrysides and the food! I envy the way the French enjoy their food....seems like it is more a religious experience. Such rich food yet no one seems obese like here in the states. Please catch me up. How is your son?



  • @blmoon

    The flower is a rose. Amazing!
    All my American friends say the same thing, how are French people so thin with such rich food? Simple, they don't eat like that every day. Most of the time it is home made simple balanced food. Ingredients are still pretty good quality. It is also a matter of quantity... ☺
    My son is finishing business school this year. For the last semester he had a choice of schools, his own, any of the top ones in the UK and an Ivy League in the US. All those he had applied to. He had also applied to a very selective curriculum in his own school and was admitted to that too, and since that was what interested him most, he decided to stay. The Ivy League was his second choice and they said that they would leave the option open for him next semester or any time that suits him in the next three years. Which I think is most generous of them. Some time ago you said it would not be straight forward and he would confuse me with his choices... Well, he is doing just that! I had been looking forward to his finishing this prestigious school counting on him finding a good job at an international level - he speaks four languages fluently - meet lots of interesting people and travel all over the world... Guess what! He is going to start a business with a friend who doesn't have the same knowledge and qualifications but has experience in the field and they are complementary. He had told me that his ultimate goal was to start his own business, I think I had told you that, but I thought he would first work for some big company, acquire experience and make connections, and start his business in a few years... No! He wants to do it right now! Our friend who lends us the house on the Mediterranean coast, and who holds a very high position in a big French multinational, has no doubt that he should go for it right now. So, there we are. I feel rather disappointed and find myself wondering what was the point of all the studies in all the prestigious universities... I am also concerned about this adventure but, according to his school and to our good friend, he has nothing to lose even if it didn't work out, it will be a plus on his resume, not a minus.
    After a pretty bad winter, my son and I went back to the house on the coast for two marvelous weeks. I really like it there, and we start to know a few people in the village. The weather wad perfect and we had a relaxing time, didn't visit much, not like last year, we just enjoyed going for walks and taking the time to relax and re-energyse. My friend has just renewed the offer to go whenever we like except July and August when the house is let. I wouldn't like to go during those months anyway, it is too hot and there are just too many people. We might go back in September or October, to recharge for the winter. I realise how lucky I am to have such generous good friends and I am really grateful. They live outside Paris and have the most wonderful garden, you would love it.
    My son is with his father at the moment, he went yesterday and will be spending his birthday, 4th of July, there.
    Glad you are enjoying gardening again, a most rewarding activity, and taking photos too. I wonder if I will ever have a garden... but I am living day to day at the moment...
    Great to be in touch again.
    Hugs
    Radiantsun



  • @radiantsun

    Happy 4th of July Blmoon! I hope you are having a good day. I always remember the 4th of July, it's my son's birthday. This is the first time we are not together, he is with his father. I suppose you haven't had a chance to read my post yet.
    Remember we talked about my sister in the past? Well she has been behaving exactly like my ex. I certainly don't need that. She is selling her house and she wants me to go and help her with the move, which I said I would do in August but I can't go right now, I have doctor's appointments and besides, my son cannot leave until August and I can't bare the thought of being alone with her. She is awfully aggressive with me. I remember you once told me I would have to deal with that relationship at some point... I'll tell you more later. What do you think of this? And how do you my son's plans for his future?
    Big Hug



  • @radiantsun
    Ironic your son was born and mine died on the 4th of July. I made it through another one! Hard to escape an all American celebration like that. The fire works are a big deal. I slept most of the day. Had several ugly cries. And finally sweet sweet memories. I must say after reading your last post and hearing your son was staying with his father for his birthday I felt a BIG yuck even thinking of your x. Because we became friends and you are not the usual stranger who gets a reading I wasn't sure if it was a warning YUCK or my opinion knowing that man way more than I want. But I am very very proud of you getting free of that narcissistic selfish man. It was not easy! You truly worked very hard and followed the best of Spirit's advice even when you didn't want to or when you thought you couldn't go on. That was a long road! I remember your sister well. The last reading you requested about her was the holiday invite. Christmas I think. Same vibe is there still. Her dominance over you at times. How you feel optimistically she's being nice, yet.... then why in the end do you always end up feeling awful? Are you hoping this dynamic will ever change? Is this house sale set in stone? I don't see smooth sailing around her expectations. You don't need that drama and you don't need to wack your head again to get YOUR FULL attention on yourself. In fact now more than ever you must practice the word NO. So this could indeed be that time to set those boundaries between you and her. As for your son I see the same predictions. He is going to circle around a lot in way that will make you crazy if you let it but nothing is wasted. He's not lost. He's young and free and isn't worried about the light bill or rent or babies needing shoes. He's very capable of success in many areas but finding his bliss. I still feel he'd be very good as a therapist on some level. He has good insight. What I see as his challenge is purpose versus accomplishment. He wants to have a goal and win it right now....he wants to be in the race...NOW. And why not....to him school is just a formality for someone as intelligent as him. He can not rationalize wasting time on school if he can not see the payoff right now. That's not to say in the future he will choose school if his next goal requires it. What I can see for you is a hard one to resit trying to persuade him. He knows how you feel. There is nothing you can change. In the end he will find his purpose and be successful. His growth right now is more about street smarts as we say here. Life skills. Learning about people. Men in particular. He can't master the business world without swimming with a few sharks. He needs to heal that daddy wound or at least acknowledge the damage . He's stubborn about that one. Are you tutoring at all? I think I've had enough for today and going to bed. When you talk about getting away to your friends beautiful retreat I could so see myself joining you! You are blessed. Has that older lady artist offered you anymore art work? 😁



  • @blmoon

    Please forgive me Blmoon, I remember now you had once told me that, but it completely slipped my mind... I imagine what it must be like, a wound that never heals... Hold on to the sweet memories my friend, your son is sad when you cry, he is happy when he sees you laugh and smile.
    We have been suffering under a terrible heat wave and it really affects me, it makes me feel totally exhausted and my legs hurt. It is much better since yesterday but it is going to get bad again... My son is back, his visit went well and his father has made an effort to make it pleasant - I think he has realised that he might not go back if he does not behave in a civilised way - he took him to restaurants all the time, and on his birthday, he treated him to a really good one we used to go to in better times. He can afford to, with all the money he stole from both of us... I am not being bitter, I am glad for my son. But I doubt he will acknowledge the damage, at least not for the time being... You are right, he is stubborn about it. He is now fully intent on his company project, yesterday he went with his associate to visit prospective future premises, they already have their first big customer although the company does not yet legally exist. I think you are right, this is what he needs now, he has studied enough and now he needs to put all that into practice and gain experience. I don't think this school would bring him much from the academic standpoint, I just regret he will not make that American experience, but his life is just starting, and there will be many opportunities. His aim right now is to make money. It might have a lot to do with my financial difficulties he has been witnessing for the past few years... The one thing that bothers me a little is that his associate is an older man... but that might also be an advantage, he has experience and professional contacts and my son will be the managing director, he has the theoretical knowledge and the capacity. From that point of view, they complement each other, the other man is more down to earth, streetwise, and he has the intelligence and the academic skills and contacts in the academic world which will help at least to set up the company. Ironically, I introduced them just over a year ago.
    Indeed! That was a long tortuous road full of pitfalls, and you were there all the way, as a friend. I am so happy to be free of him, he will never change, but that is not my problem now. Unfortunately, there is still the garage question unsolved, but it is only money… and although I do need it, I am not going to make myself sick over it. My son says he said he would buy it - for something like €2000 less than the lower end of its worth – and I am tempted to sell it to him and be done with it. If I lived there, I could sell it myself, but from a distance it is not feasible since realtors will not bother with something like that. He claims he tried to sell it without success… like he tried to sell the house, I suppose… I hate it that he is still going to make money on my back, but I have to rationalise it and preserve my health.
    Same vibe is there still. Her dominance over you at times. How you feel optimistically she's being nice, yet.... then why in the end do you always end up feeling awful? Are you hoping this dynamic will ever change? Is this house sale set in stone? I don't see smooth sailing around her expectations. You don't need that drama and you don't need to wack your head again to get YOUR FULL attention on yourself. In fact, now more than ever you must practice the word NO. So, this could indeed be that time to set those boundaries between you and her.
    My sister... It is possible that it was that Christmas time when she wanted us to go and once that we had the trip organised, she came back with all sorts of problems like, she didn’t know how to turn on the heating in the guest house and she couldn’t find a technician to help… the hot water didn’t work either but we could go to her house to have a shower… in the worst case, we could stay in her house but it would be complicated… it was a bit sad for us because this was the first Christmas we didn’t have the house… of course we cancelled the trip. Since then, we went there twice in the summer, after much insistence on her side, and of course there was plenty of stress. She really cannot live with anyone, she can never relax and she doesn’t let anyone else relax either. I hate going there is summer because I greatly suffer from the heat, and although she thinks she does us a favour, all her pool and everything else, in that atmosphere is far from being a holiday. I am glad we went last year because she had not well and when we were there, I asked her to show me what medication she was taking and I found that she was taking three antidepressants at the same time!!! I went with her to the doctor’s and got her to stop two of them, the most dangerous. She has been much better since, but from the personality point of view, I think she is getting worse. She has been very aggressive with me since February when she wanted my son to do her taxes immediately when, he was fulltime busy with school and there was no urgency because it was only due beginning of June, and he did do it as soon as he could take the time which was three or four days later. On the way back last summer, we visited a few places to make for the ‘unholiday’, and then we visited a good friend at her country house and spent a few days with her. That was marvellous, a real haven of peace and beautiful countryside, it made up for much. My friend wants us to come for a week this year as well and I am looking forward to it. The present situation, there is no change since my last post, I don’t know where she stands with the sale of the house or anything else because she was so aggressive and accusing on the phone last time that I had not called her again. There was no point until my son was back and that we could talk about his commitments, he has a project he has to work on with three other students with they have to submit in September, and he is setting up his company. We also have to calculate the expense of driving 1000 miles to go to her house, one night at a hotel, another 700 miles to where she is moving to, stay in a hotel there, another 1000 miles to my friend’s house, and another night in a hotel, and gas in Europe is very expensive, over $6/gallon . That is a lot, but she doesn't see that, she is completely self-absorbed. Then we need to call her and see what can be done. I feel bad about her being on her own through this, I remember what a big deal it was for me making the move when we sold the house...
    I have not been tutoring at all, no students, the type of students I teach doesn’t seem to come any more, scared off by the terror attacks. I got an email from an American lady today, I was recommended to her by a former student, she will be teaching here for a month next year and she wants to get up to speed before that so, I assume she wants lessons on Skype. I’ll see what she says when I answer her.
    You would be most welcome to my friend’s retreat. You would love it and I would love to have you there. There are many artists living around there. No, my friend’s mother did not offer any more art work, I admired the painting I had liked last time and she said she wanted to keep that one… 😉 I actually did not like it quite as much this time, maybe it was in comparison with the one she gave me or something to do with my mood… She is over 90 years old and my good friend’s mother, it’s all right. Her son gave me her latest book about art, I’ll take it for her to sign next time.
    This turned out to be a much longer post than I had intended. My intention was to bring you up to date on all the drama, not to waste your time. 😊 I’ll keep you posted as the saga evolves.
    Big Hug

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  • @radiantsun
    I didn't call my sister for over a week and when I did my son talked to her first, she was no longer aggressive and she says it would be very complicated fir us to go there and she still doesn't know how she us going to organise things. Now she agrees with what I had told her in the first place, that it was better that gets an overall view first and then we can talk.
    France won the World Cup in Russia and the whole country is celebrating. Good to see everybody happy. After the National Holiday - our 4th of July - yesterday. Lots of flags, lots of noise but not much going on in my part of town, very central but quiet.
    Hugs
    Radiantsun



  • @radiantsun
    My son is an avid fan of ALL sports so I hear about it through his facebook posts! Otherwise without a house full of guys anymore sports do not enter my world. Last big celebration for my family was the Cubs winning the world series! THAT was a big deal because it's legendary history that the cubs were cursed. Chicago folk lore! Glad to hear your sister slowed her pace but I didn't see too much happening and the urgency was in her head. I think you get the brunt because she can. You are a very peace loving forgiving loved one. Otherwise, she gets herself full of anxious energy and feels the urgency to do something big. Spirit says she has a big inner child itching for a tantrum but of course she is an adult so her bad moods and chaotic energy gets very misdirected. It never really is about you. Like a child she hasn't a real clue to the harm her selfish remarks and demands effect you. She is SO different than you. You reflect A LOT about your interactions with others. You worry very sincerely about offending a love one. You can be outspoken yet when it comes to loved ones you truly care about having a happy kind relationship. Unfortunately, it backfires on you when others do not reciprocate with the same effort to nurture or put effort into a healthy relationship. I have the same weakness, although it has very much improved with age! Our nature is very similar which is why I could help you and one does not teach another without learning something! It's like editing and why the best of writers can miss simple mistakes and editors make a good living. Easier to see mistakes in others. Then you go HMMMM I need to keep a check on myself! I love your straightforward without malice ability to just speak up. When I do tap into your sister, she is similar to my sister! And I've long ago cut that cord. There's no war or grudge or drama. We just do not have a relationship. I had another sister who died young and we were very close and that sister had a heart of gold. Everyone loved her. She was a cashier in a grocery were the customers were mostly poor and elderly. She literally befriended them all! She looked after them. Anyway, after she passed I tried getting close to my other sister who is the youngest and boy did I suffer so many tearful nights! Eventually, you just have to save yourself that toxic swamp that will never change. Enough of that downer! I'm getting a chef energy around you? Can't tell the details, is it a cooking class?....or are you making friends with a chef? (this is not your x!) This cooking energy has a very different feel...it's positive and whatever it is you are going in a good direction. Don't get impatient is what I'm hearing as it may not wow you at first whatever this is but let it play out some and try not to overthink things. Do we do that? Over think things? 😌



  • @Blmoon
    I have another post ready but I'll leave it for tomorrow. Huge heat wave at the moment, 39°C 102.2 fahrenheit? I checked, and it will not be better tomorrow. It has been pretty bad for a while and it is getting worse. I find it hard to do anything, we have no air conditioning... pretty awful. Beautiful full moon though. 😄
    Hugs



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  • @Blmoon

    Hi Blmoon,
    Your analysis rings so true. I know what you mean, she really is like that with everyone and then complains that she is alone for everything. She invites people to her house and when it is family, she makes their life miserable. She did it to my brother and my father as well, and we always come back because we are sorry for her, and she is alone, and and… but she has always decided to live far away from the family, which makes things complicated. Now that they are both gone, there is only me left. I am the youngest of four and she still treats me as if I was a child when in many areas I have more life experience than her. She is envious and I am not. My brother and I had a really close relationship and she was jealous of that, so when we were together, it was a permanent war. Now, you are not going to believe this, although I think you rather expected it, my sister’s move cannot take place until November!!! The buyer is going to give her an amount they agreed on but cannot pay the bulk of it until then. She has plenty of time to get things organised, but guess what, she wants us to come but not in August when we said we could, but later… in October probably… and of course, that is totally impossible for my son who has to start working on his company. Not terribly convenient for me either because I have a new student who wants classes on Skype and my sister does not have Internet.
    There is a change to the above I wrote that a while ago. My sister quarrelled with the people who were buying her house and decided she did not want to sell to them. Funny enough, some weeks later an English gentleman came by her house and told her he had visited with an estate agent some time ago and he wanted to buy it. They eventually came to an agreement and closed the deal. He and his wife told her she has at least three months to move because he and his wife are in England and cannot go to the house before December. She hasn’t mentioned us going there again.
    A chef energy? No… nothing of the kind. I wonder what that may be… no cooking classes… no chef friend new or old… really nothing in the cooking area, and I am personally very much off cooking at the moment. Overthink things? Oh yes, although I have not been doing that so much. But I have been going through a rough time again. I am back in this fear of doing things or making the wrong decision. However small the decision is, I turn around in circles forever, and when I have no choice but to decide, I think I might have made a mistake. I don’t know why I am so afraid of making mistakes… This is extremely crippling and it takes so much of my time and energy… it is exhausting! I had been doing better though, so I don’t really know why this is happening… it could be that my son’s decision to start a business has affected me more than I realise. I had been counting on his getting a good job and now it is still all so uncertain… I started a Pilates class last week, it is only once a week but my doctors tell me wit will do me good. I don’t feel like doing anything, everything is an enormous effort…
    It was my birthday in August and I would very much appreciate a reading if you have the time. I wonder what this chef thing may be…
    Sorry for the long silence, I think the above will explain it. When I feel like this, I find it extremely difficult to come out of my shell.
    Look forward to hearing from you.
    Big Hug



  • @radiantsun @Blmoon

    Dear Blmoon,
    How are you? I don't know if you have seen my last post, I have not been well lately, I am in a great deal of pain. I went to see the osteopath last week and I felt better after the treatment, but not much and it didn't last. I am extremely tense and there is nothing I can do to relax. Perhaps it's what you say, I over think things... 🙂 I try not to and I think I don't but then, there is this terrible fear of doing anything, of making the wrong decision, of making a mistake... I still panic when I get mail and put off making appointment for doctors, etc. In most cases, there is no rational reason for that. I have been having a lot of bad dreams, mostly involving my ex... that doesn't help make me feel better. On the positive side, we are having the most wonderful autumn, warm and sunny, more like late summer actually. Pity I am have so much pain, it prevents me from enjoying it. My son is working on setting up his company and doing a lot of exercise. He joined the sports club of an elite army corps just round the corner and is attending a self-defense course provided by them, with so much violence around these days, it is no luxury. I also joined their club for Pilates classes and I am grateful there are no classes this week, hoping the pain is better by next week.
    Hope you are well and enjoying a nice autumn too.
    Hugs
    PS. A beautiful Renoir for you.
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  • @radiantsun
    Beautiful Renoir. I have not seen that one before! It has so much movement. Almost looks neglected YET it is still beautiful! Interesting statement. It speaks to me and my current challenges. I'm teaching again but this time I'm more aware of past mistakes I do not want to repeat. I can be a perfectionist when it comes to responsibilities or work ethic. It's often self imposed! I'm learning that every task does not need to be over the top and often my best is just fine and over achieving needs to be paced! Like this pic, so what no one has walked past this bountiful vase and just had to tidy it up and freshen it immediately. It is beautiful as is! Maybe the madam of the house decided to sleep in, read a book on the sun porch. Sit in her kitchen in her nightgown and drink her favorite tea with fresh blueberry scones! I am teaching guitar to children a full day on Mondays and it has been rewarding. Getting my health back after that head injury has been a very very slow process but I'm fitting back into life. I did see your last post and laughed about the cooking reference. Considering the crazy heat wave you had I wondered if it was you cooking! Actually, maybe that needs to play out and hasn't happened yet. Then again maybe it was no joke seeing you "cooking". It was in our news later how really awful it was. People die! I'm so sorry you are in pain. Sounds like the same ongoing issue that comes and goes. As for dreams, you are NOT alone. October has been uncomfortable for many of us with weird visits from our past that have no place in our lives anymore. I'm having startling upsetting dreams as well. I wake up feeling like I did at that time. For me it is about healing old traumas. Often, we grow and survive and move on without really taking much time to heal. I do know what a hard battle you fought to be free from your dominating controlling husband. You had little room for breaking down. Any weakness on your part was an opportunity for him to take advantage of you. I remember just how brave and persevering you HAD to be even when you were exhausted. A lot of pain did get buried so you could stay strong and get things done. I hope you are still not in your same apartment. I've never felt that was a healthy place. I know moving was a challenge. I just always felt it drained your energy in that building. I think you do get overwhelmed easily with dealing with business and chores. It paralyses you. I can be like that at times. I hate business paperwork. But once it's done it's a feel good thing. I used to put a full list on my fridge of to do wishes and cross off when completed. Lately, I find that if I give myself a holiday day first with no guilt it helps me. I get the feeling your issue is more an issue with depression and being in pain is very very draining. Right now October is tough on a cosmic level. November should be a relief. I will probably be in a better energy place to give you a reading in November. I don't think I need to advise you to avoid your sister!. Be gentle with yourself this month and don't take your x dreams as any sign of a present issue. Your just doing some old healing. It has no reality anymore! BLESSINGS!



  • @blmoon
    I love your description of the painting, I agree. To me it looks as if the young lady of the house was arranging the flowers when she was interrupted by an unexpected, but most welcome visitor. I see her all in a flutter, trying to compose herself but rushing to meet him. 😉 Very 18th or19th century…Uhmm… blueberry scones, yummy! How wonderful that you are teaching guitar, I always wanted to learn… I have a classical Spanish guitar and made a couple of attempts to learn but was not lucky with my teachers, they either wanted to recruit me for Scientology or something else… I gave it to my son who was going to learn but never found the time. He plays the piano though. I am glad to hear you are recovering from your injury, it is much harder than it seems. Ha, ha, yes, it must have been me cooking in the awful heat last summer. Nothing “cooking” otherwise, at least not yet. 😊 Yes, my pains is the old issue which comes but never quite goes… it is better now and as a result, the dreams are better too. How well you remember my ordeal with my ex. And yes, I think you are right, the dreams mean that I am not quite purged of it all. I am still in the same apartment, moving would not have been possible due to financial circumstances. Not that another apartment would necessarily be that much more expensive, but because of all the guaranties required by landlords which I can at this point not provide. Maybe when my son has a regular income… The apartment does drain me. I don’t know if it is as much the energy in the building as the apartment itself which is too small to accommodate a couple of comfortable pieces of furniture I badly need, in need of refurbishing which cannot be done because it is so full that we would need to move out. Despite all that, I am really grateful to live in this beautiful area, one of the safest in the entire country, and close to all the shops I may need and so many lovely and interesting places. I walk everywhere I need to go and hardly ever cross the river. I don’t take public transport, occasionally a bus but never the subway. When I need to go a bit further or out of the city, my son drives me, I don’t dare driving around here, too hectic. We are very fortunate that a friend of my son’s has parking space in an underground garage which he doesn’t use and lets us have it for free. For a while, parking was a major concern and we got a couple of bumps in the street. Spot on about how I feel about business, paperwork and all that… I need to find a system for myself, not there yet. I also feel good when I have done something, but the problem is that there are always so many other things that need doing… most discouraging. I tend to take a long time too… as I said before, I hesitate so much that it makes me waste an awful lot of time and energy… I think you are right and that depression is indeed the problem. I had “therapy” for a while and it brought me absolutely nothing. The psychiatrist was hellbent on making me imagine that my father was somehow to blame. I needed help dealing with what happened recently, with going forward now. There is nothing sinister in my past apart from my mother’s death when I was so young which of course had a huge influence on everything else, but he was not interested in that. Even my dreams which, as you know, are so interesting, he insisted on my finding a connection with my childhood which I never did. So, I stopped seeing him. He was of no help at all. My sister had a friend come to help her with the move and I am so glad I was not there, it would have been hell. She does not act that way with other people, which is just as well or she would not have anybody to help her. She is very negative about everybody, though. I find it exhausting to be around her, even talking to her on the phone is draining sometimes. Anyway, I am glad I was not there because if anything went wrong it would be my fault. Exactly like my ex, and I had enough of that. I took a day off today, and so did my son. We woke up late and since neither of us had appointments, we took it easy. Tomorrow I have a busy day. It is very quiet at the moment, it is All Saints school holidays and in this wealthy area people go away. I love it. I am planning to go and see an Art Nouveau exhibition soon with a good friend. One of her sons is getting married this Saturday and then she will go to the country to close down the house for the winter, and when she comes back we will go. The artist is Alphonse Mucha. I am sending you a couple of pictures. I like art nouveau. Some time I’ll send you pictures of some interesting houses, when I get round to going to take them.
    Hugs

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  • @radiantsun
    I love Mucha!!I I used to have a set of prints of his seasons . I had them until they practically wore out. Art Nouveau is a beautiful graceful time for art. Very female empowering. I love the architecture. So much careful detail and beauty. I'm jealous! I'm glad you let the psychiatrist go....you are right. He was too much textbook minded. You need a good balance of a doctor who is also a spiritual healer. They are hard to find but they exist. All our doctors I consider for my husband or me are also born healers. They are a good mix of education but have that extra gift for insight beyond the textbook. I think you are still healing. You advanced mostly on faith and determination. Your goal was to escape a toxic situation. That had to come first. Also, that milestone also affected other areas in your life. It's still playing out. You emerged with healthier boundaries. It's ok rest and just enjoy and say no without guilt when you need. How you handled your sister is definitely the healthy you. I'm tired today. I did some extra regular class time out side of my guitar class and thank God tomorrow is the last day. I told them up front it was just a favor ....I was right! Too much work! I'm taking a nap! BLESSINGS!



  • @Blmoon
    Happy Thanksgiving Blmoon!
    Hope you are feeling better now, and with more energy. Have you got all your family around you today? Have a wonderful time!
    Here is a Renoir bouquet for your table. 😊
    Hugs

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  • @radiantsun
    you are always right on with your art choices and capturing the current mood! I love it. I just set up my 95 gallon fish tank that had sat empty for two years because after my accident I just had to let it go. The tank goes in a corner with a bow front glass. The back color is the same hues of robin's egg blue in the picture! I just finished sitting in a comfy chair and watched the graceful fish swim happily through the colorful decorations I put in. I bought an Led light that turns deep Indigo blue for moonlight at night. There is so much movement in the painting you picked! It felt like the hypnotic aspect of watching my fish and movement of water. The Artist's magic is how he created an imaginary balance that makes sense on canvas but in real life no way would those full heavy blooms set like that in a small vase. Yet in the painting it is not questionable. Magic! I so enjoy how you get art. Truly get it! Of course I've said it before that's why Artists will always enjoy you! I hope you are feeling better. How's your son? I get the female vibe around him. Some one is in love with him! He's admired. I feel he's feeling proud about something. Something has settled in him and a change is happening. I feel he came through a crossroads and is going down a new personal path. I see something he was anxious about or impatient about has settled down. I'm hearing he made peace with something that he didn't really share but it was personal and deep. His humor is at it's best and he is going through a good phase. Starting January he could see a steady upward swing in prosperity. I feel this is something he needs to feel fulfilled and to satisfy a sense of purpose. I see an image of his father growing shorter and your son smiling and taller than his father. I hear the word HEALING. I see your son next to you but it's the opposite he's reaching up towards you like a child and hands you a big bouquet of flowers. Interesting! I also see bad news around your x. A loss or even a death connected to him. It is nothing bad for you though so don't worry. It also could mean for him a diagnoses of ill health. All I know is it connected to him and it is a serious event. That old Scorpio friend as well , not the bard but the business man has some ill health issue around him. I get Cancer. The bard has grown very old. You would be shocked to see him. His energy is old. In the end YOU are the strong one. You maintain your grace and you grew wiser. Somewhere your beloved bard stagnated and stuck. Next year presents you with some changes and opportunities but Spirit says that it's not like the past were you had to make certain changes to heal. Spirit says opportunities will come as choices that have no right or wrong. Just choices to enjoy or not. No pressure to be right. The only advice I get is to continue to work on body connection. To check in on yourself several times a day to be aware of how you are feeling. Feel your muscles, know when you need to relax. Be aware of your empath meter. You do pick up vibes and energy. Listen to that and be aware when you have picked up outside energy so you can keep on top of it. Try salt baths to cleanse those energy intrusions. Just be more body conscious and catch changes at the start instead of waiting until your in pain with muscle inflammation and the resulting joint misalignment that comes with. I see INFLAMMATION in bold so listen to intuitions regarding anything that fights inflammation. Pray for guidance on this. I get that there are certain foods you may like but they don't like you. I think Spirit wants you to listen closer to your body for answers. BLESSINGS!



  • @blmoon
    I am so glad you have your fish tank back, it sounds lovely and it means so much to you. You really enjoy those things, I can see you sitting there peacefully and just letting go... I wish I could find some kind of serenity, but I am as far from it as I ever was. Lately it has been really bad, perhaps because of the pain... I had a bad migraine for the past three days and thank God it got better this afternoon. Lately I think of death very often. When I think of the nice things I have and can't really enjoy in this apartment, or will I ever have another place, what comes to mind is that my son will burdened with all my stuff and what is he going to do with it, not having a place of his own... I don't know why I have been feeling like that, but this evening, the nephew of my next door neighbour rang my doorbell to tell me that she had died on Friday morning in hospital. On Thursday evening the fire brigade had to be called to get into her apartment because she had fallen and couldn't open the door. I wonder my feelings had something to do with death being so near me... Since I moved into this apartment, four old ladies died. One I really liked she was intelligent, cultivated, not an artist, an intellectual, she liked classical music like me and we had kindred ideas. We used to have long conversations about politics and that sort of thing, and I still miss her. I think I won't bother trying to find a more spiritual doctor, it would be too much effort and expense. As you say, I am still healing... at least I hope I am. I have been losing a lot of hair which is also depressing and winter came all of a sudden, and those dark days are so dreary...
    My son? He is very busy at the moment, setting up the company with all that it involves, and he recently got very much into sports and works out a lot. He had never been much into sports before, he used to play tennis when he was younger, he is an excellent swimmer, had judo classes but never seemed terribly interested, but now he really got into it. Mainly since he started those self-defense classes, maybe it is the whole military environment... he finds that he is much better than he had expected, and he even attends a French boxing class (you use your legs as well as your fists) and he enjoys it. He had an advanced first aid course last Saturday and an intensive all round defense course on Sunday. Whew! He has always been the intellectual and now he discovers that he can do things with his body, I think that is good for his self-confidence. So that might be what you felt he was feeling proud about. Other than that, I have not seen much change. He is active in his political movement and I was very proud of him a couple of weeks ago when the president organised two meetings in one week without consulting with him and he told him fine but he wouldn't be there. It would have meant missing two of his sports classes. It left the other one in a pickle because he really needed him. He learn that way not to take him for granted. I so hope all you saw will be realised, I agree that he needs that material prosperity, it will give him freedom and confidence. I so look forward to witnessing his reaching that fulfillment. I don't know where he stands with his father, I know they are in touch, but it is a bit superficial. He doesn't seem to resent him, but he knows him, that is for sure. He actually is physically a little taller than his father 🙂 Healing, I do hope so, that would be wonderful. The image you saw of his handing me a big bouquet... We'll have to wait and see what that means.
    My ex seems to be in good health, I just got an invitation for an exhibition of his pictures, he didn't send it to me, he just sent it to all his email contacts. I don't care rally, the only thing I care about is how whatever happens to him may affect my son. He may live to be a hundred for all I care, as long as I have nothing to do with him. The Scorpio? Really? He is the type who looked like a mountain! It would be really bad for him if he had to slow down, he is somebody who has to be busy ALL the time. Doesn't know how to sit in front of a fire and just relax... imagine, all the money he could be making in that time! I have not heard from him since last Easter, like the Bard, he pretends he has forgotten my birthday. He has been in a relationship for several years now. He made plans as if he would live forever and never get weaker, like moving into a top floor apartment without a lift! 🙂
    The Bard... Ah, the Bard! The great financier who never saved a penny. He is the youngest of the three, five or six years younger. But it does not in the least surprise me that he comes out as old... after our last adventure, he put on weight again, very much, very soon. I saw a photo and he looked enormous! He just turned 63 and at 60 he had to retire, company policy. I think he has been doing some consultancy work but not the high profile he was used to. I don't think he lives a very exciting life, buried in that village with that woman with whom he has little in common... Would I be shocked to see him? I expected him to age fast. When I think of him, I see him heavy, old yes, and boring. I have the feeling he has lost that wit, that quickness I loved. That he stagnated does not surprise me, already when we met again, or after he disappeared again, I often thought that he had not grown, on the contrary, and that his apparent maturity was only superficial. In reality, he was the same as thirty years earlier. I had grown, acquired experience, learned, changed way of thinking, etc. He had not, and he was surprised that I didn't see things the same way as before, that my opinions had changed. I was the same child with the same problems and complexes, the same jealousies, the same insecurities. At first I thought he had become a man and that we could be a rock for each other, and finally I realised that although he may be a rock for the woman he lives with, he could never be that for me. She is much his inferior and I am not. I think he has nothing but regrets and he has blocked out all that was lovely, light, joyous. I might be wrong and he is outrageously happy. Lol.
    As for me, I am going to print all you tell me on a piece of paper and read it every day. Try o listen to my body more and take better care of it, and of my mind. I wish I were not so restricted financially... I wonder if I did not pick up vibes about my neighbour's approaching death... More music, I need to listen more to music when I am at home. Thank you so much Blmoon for this wondeful reading and all your kindness. I went through so much, and you were there all the way. Why do you think I think of dying? It worries me because when my father started to say things like this would last him for the rest of his life and things like that, he soon died although he seemed in good health. He died of a cardiac arrest.
    I have been looking through my pictures and have not managed to find some I have of Art Nouveau buildings... I almost rented an apartment in one of the most beautiful of them. I am posting two pictures of it. It is not far from where I live and my last apartment was just round the corner. I like the building and the neighbourhood very much, but the apartment was not right for me. Pity because it was perfectly quiet too, it was in the second building with windows to the courtyard.
    Do take care of yourself and don't do too many favours at the expense of your health.
    Hugs

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  • @radiantsun
    love the buildings! And a very BIG yes you are very affected by others. That's always going to be a problem and people like us do not do well in buildings with close by neighbors. Of course an elderly person usually feels their decline. Alone in bed totally stuck in their thoughts, no energy. People stuck in desperate thoughts would very much invade my sensitivities. I hate were you live you know that. Too many vibes around you past and present. Your best gift to yourself would be in a small home with gardens. And ideally a body of water near by. I know you get a helpless feeling about that but what can be feeding that is the elderly folks past and present who linger their knowing that space is their last stop. They would love to be young enough to find another home. When you get that thought "could it be an outside influence affecting your moon" it is truth! Believe it. If you can't move to a house you must be pro active to keep your space energized. Sage. Ring chimes or bells. Play music. Get a spray bottle with salt water and wash your walls with it. Try bathing with salt. I pray you receive a nice little home with gardens and ample peaceful space between you and other's energy. Take care and radiate onto a new phase in your sun filled life. That's who you really are. You are not a dark person at all. BLESSINGS!